tales and fantasies-第1章

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Tales　and　Fantasies



by　Robert　Louis　Stevenson











Contents



The　Misadventures　of　John　Nicholson

The　Body…Snatcher

The　Story　of　a　Lie





THE　MISADVENTURES　OF　JOHN　NICHOLSON









CHAPTER　I　…　IN　WHICH　JOHN　SOWS　THE　WIND







JOHN　VAREY　NICHOLSON　was　stupid；　yet；　stupider　men　than　he

are　now　sprawling　in　Parliament；　and　lauding　themselves　as

the　authors　of　their　own　distinction。　　He　was　of　a　fat　habit；

even　from　boyhood；　and　inclined　to　a　cheerful　and　cursory

reading　of　the　face　of　life；　and　possibly　this　attitude　of

mind　was　the　original　cause　of　his　misfortunes。　　Beyond　this

hint　philosophy　is　silent　on　his　career；　and　superstition

steps　in　with　the　more　ready　explanation　that　he　was　detested

of　the　gods。



His　father　…　that　iron　gentleman　…　had　long　ago　enthroned

himself　on　the　heights　of　the　Disruption　Principles。　　What

these　are　（and　in　spite　of　their　grim　name　they　are　quite

innocent）　no　array　of　terms　would　render　thinkable　to　the

merely　English　intelligence；　but　to　the　Scot　they　often　prove

unctuously　nourishing；　and　Mr。　Nicholson　found　in　them　the

milk　of　lions。　　About　the　period　when　the　churches　convene　at

Edinburgh　in　their　annual　assemblies；　he　was　to　be　seen

descending　the　Mound　in　the　company　of　divers　red…headed

clergymen：　these　voluble；　he　only　contributing　oracular　nods；

brief　negatives；　and　the　austere　spectacle　of　his　stretched

upper　lip。　　The　names　of　Candlish　and　Begg　were　frequent　in

these　interviews；　and　occasionally　the　talk　ran　on　the

Residuary　Establishment　and　the　doings　of　one　Lee。　　A

stranger　to　the　tight　little　theological　kingdom　of　Scotland

might　have　listened　and　gathered　literally　nothing。　　And　Mr。

Nicholson　（who　was　not　a　dull　man）　knew　this；　and　raged　at

it。　　He　knew　there　was　a　vast　world　outside；　to　whom

Disruption　Principles　were　as　the　chatter　of　tree…top　apes；

the　paper　brought　him　chill　whiffs　from　it；　he　had　met

Englishmen　who　had　asked　lightly　if　he　did　not　belong　to　the

Church　of　Scotland；　and　then　had　failed　to　be　much　interested

by　his　elucidation　of　that　nice　point；　it　was　an　evil；　wild；

rebellious　world；　lying　sunk　in　DOZENEDNESS；　for　nothing

short　of　a　Scots　word　will　paint　this　Scotsman's　feelings。

And　when　he　entered　into　his　own　house　in　Randolph　Crescent

（south　side）；　and　shut　the　door　behind　him；　his　heart　swelled

with　security。　　Here；　at　least；　was　a　citadel　impregnable　by

right…hand　defections　or　left…hand　extremes。　　Here　was　a

family　where　prayers　came　at　the　same　hour；　where　the　Sabbath

literature　was　unimpeachably　selected；　where　the　guest　who

should　have　leaned　to　any　false　opinion　was　instantly　set

down；　and　over　which　there　reigned　all　week；　and　grew　denser

on　Sundays；　a　silence　that　was　agreeable　to　his　ear；　and　a

gloom　that　he　found　comfortable。



Mrs。　Nicholson　had　died　about　thirty；　and　left　him　with　three

children：　a　daughter　two　years；　and　a　son　about　eight　years

younger　than　John；　and　John　himself；　the　unlucky　bearer　of　a

name　infamous　in　English　history。　　The　daughter；　Maria；　was　a

good　girl　…　dutiful；　pious；　dull；　but　so　easily　startled　that

to　speak　to　her　was　quite　a　perilous　enterprise。　　'I　don't

think　I　care　to　talk　about　that；　if　you　please；'　she　would

say；　and　strike　the　boldest　speechless　by　her　unmistakable

pain；　this　upon　all　topics　…　dress；　pleasure；　morality；

politics；　in　which　the　formula　was　changed　to　'my　papa　thinks

otherwise；'　and　even　religion；　unless　it　was　approached　with

a　particular　whining　tone　of　voice。　　Alexander；　the　younger

brother；　was　sickly；　clever；　fond　of　books　and　drawing；　and

full　of　satirical　remarks。　　In　the　midst　of　these；　imagine

that　natural；　clumsy；　unintelligent；　and　mirthful　animal；

John；　mighty　well…behaved　in　comparison　with　other　lads；

although　not　up　to　the　mark　of　the　house　in　Randolph

Crescent；　full　of　a　sort　of　blundering　affection；　full　of

caresses；　which　were　never　very　warmly　received；　full　of

sudden　and　loud　laughter　which　rang　out　in　that　still　house

like　curses。　　Mr。　Nicholson　himself　had　a　great　fund　of

humour；　of　the　Scots　order　…　intellectual；　turning　on　the

observation　of　men；　his　own　character；　for　instance　…　if　he

could　have　seen　it　in　another　…　would　have　been　a　rare　feast

to　him；　but　his　son's　empty　guffaws　over　a　broken　plate；　and

empty；　almost　light…hearted　remarks；　struck　him　with　pain　as

the　indices　of　a　weak　mind。



Outside　the　family　John　had　early　attached　himself　（much　as　a

dog　may　follow　a　marquis）　to　the　steps　of　Alan　Houston；　a　lad

about　a　year　older　than　himself；　idle；　a　trifle　wild；　the

heir　to　a　good　estate　which　was　still　in　the　hands　of　a

rigorous　trustee；　and　so　royally　content　with　himself　that　he

took　John's　devotion　as　a　thing　of　course。　　The　intimacy　was

gall　to　Mr。　Nicholson；　it　took　his　son　from　the　house；　and　he

was　a　jealous　parent；　it　kept　him　from　the　office；　and　he　was

a　martinet；　lastly；　Mr。　Nicholson　was　ambitious　for　his

family　（in　which；　and　the　Disruption　Principles；　he　entirely

lived）；　and　he　hated　to　see　a　son　of　his　play　second　fiddle

to　an　idler。　　After　some　hesitation；　he　ordered　that　the

friendship　should　cease　…　an　unfair　command；　though　seemingly

inspired　by　the　spirit　of　prophecy；　and　John；　saying　nothing；

continued　to　disobey　the　order　under　the　rose。



John　was　nearly　nineteen　when　he　was　one　day　dismissed　rather

earlier　than　usual　from　his　father's　office；　where　he　was

studying　the　practice　of　the　law。　　It　was　Saturday；　and

except　that　he　had　a　matter　of　four　hundred　pounds　in　his

pocket　which　it　was　his　duty　to　hand　over　to　the　British

Linen　Company's　Bank；　he　had　the　whole　afternoon　at　his

disposal。　　He　went　by　Princes　Street　enjoying　the　mild

sunshine；　and　the　little　thrill　of　easterly　wind　that　tossed

the　flags　along　that　terrace　of　palaces；　and　tumbled　the

green　trees　in　the　garden。　　The　band　was　playing　down　in　the

valley　under　the　castle；　and　when　it　came　to　the　turn　of　the

pipers；　he　heard　their　wild　sounds　with　a　stirring　of　the

blood。　　Something　distantly　martial　woke　in　him；　and　he

thought　of　Miss　Mackenzie；　whom　he　was　to　meet　that　day　at

dinner。



Now；　it　is　undeniable　that　he　should　have　gone　directly　to

the　bank；　but　right　in　the　way　stood　the　billiard…room　of　the

hotel　where　Alan　was　almost　certain　to　be　found；　and　the

temptation　proved　too　strong。　　He　entered　the　billiard…room；

and　was　instantly　greeted　by　his　friend；　cue　in　hand。



'Nicholson；'　said　he；　'I　want　you　to　lend　me　a　pound　or　two

till　Monday。'



'You've　come　to　the　right　shop；　haven't　you？'　returned　John。

'I　have　twopence。'



'Nonsense；'　said　Alan。　　'You　can　get　some。　　Go　and　borrow　at

your　tailor's；　they　all　do　it。　　Or　I'll　tell　you　what：　pop

your　watch。'



'Oh；　yes；　I　dare　say；'　said　John。　　'And　how　about　my　father？'



'How　is　he　to　know？　　He　doesn't　wind　it　up　for　you　at　night；

does　he？'　inquired　Alan；　at　which　John　guffawed。　　'No；

seriously；　I　am　in　a　fix；'　continued　the　tempter。　　'I　have

lost　some　money　to　a　man　here。　　I'll　give　it　you　to…night；

and　you　can　get　the　heir…loom　out　again　on　Monday。　　Come；

it's　a　small　service；　after　all。　　I　would　do　a　good　deal　more

for　you。'



Whereupon　John　went　forth；　and　pawned　his　gold　watch　under

the　assumed　name　of　John　Froggs；　85　Pleasance。　　But　the

nervousness　that　assailed　him　at　the　door　of　that　inglorious

haunt　…　a　pawnshop　…　and　the　effort　necessary　to　invent　the

pseudonym　（which；　somehow；　seemed　to　him　a　necessary　part　of

the　procedure）；　had　taken　more　time　than　he　imagined：　and

when　he　returned　to　the　billiard…room　with　the　spoils；　the

bank　had　already　closed　its　doors。



This　was　a　shrewd　knock。　　'A　piece　of　business　had　been

neglected。'　　He　heard　these　words　in　his　father's　trenchant

voice；　and　trembled；　and　then　dodged　the　thought。　　After　all；

who　was　to　know？　　He　must　carry　four　hundred　pounds　about

with　him　till　Monday；　when　the　neglect　could　be

surreptitiously　repaired；　and　meanwhile；　he　was　free　to　pass

the　afternoon　on　the　encircling　divan　of　the　billiard…room；

smoking　his　pipe；　sipping　a　pint　of　ale；　and　enjoying　to　the

masthead　the　modest　pleasures　of　admiration。



None　can　admire　like　a　young　man。　　Of　all　youth's　passions

and　pleasures；　this　is　the　most　common　and　least　alloyed；　and

every　flash　of　Alan's　black　eyes；　every　aspect　of　his　curly

head；　every　graceful　reach；　every　easy；　stand…off　attitude　of

waiting；　ay；　and　down　to　his　shirt…sleeves　and　wrist…links；

were　seen　by　John　through　a　luxurious　glory。　　He　valued

himself　by　the　possession　of　that　royal　friend；　hugged

himself　upon　the　thought；　and　swam　in　warm　azure；　his　own

defects；　like　vanquished　difficulties；　becoming　things　on

which　to　plume　himself。　　Only　when　he　thought　of　Miss

Mackenzie　there　fell　upon　his　mind　a　shadow　of　regret；　that

young　lady　was　worthy　of　better　things　than　plain　John

Nicholson；　still　known　among　schoolmates　by　the　derisive　name

of　'Fatty'；　and　he　felt；　if　he　could　chalk　a　cue；　or　stand　at

ease；　with　such　a　careless　grace　as　Alan；　he　could　approach

the　object　of　his　sentiments　with　a　less　crushing　sense　of

inferiority。



Before　they　parted；　Alan　made　a　proposal　that　was　startling

in　the　extreme。　　He　would　be　at　Colette's　that　night　about

twelve；　he　said。　　Why　should　not　John　come　there　and　get　the

money？　　To　go　to　Colette's　was　to　see　life；　indeed；　it　was

wrong；　it　was　against　the　laws；　it　partook；　in　a　very　dingy

manner；　of　adventure。　　Were　it　known；　it　was　the　sort　of

exploit　that　disconsidered　a　young　man　for　good　with　the　more

serious　classes；　but　gave　him　a　standing　with　the　riotous。

And　yet　Colette's　was　not　a　hell；　it　could　not　come；　without

vaulting　hyperbole；　under　the　rubric　of　a　gilded　saloon；　and；

if　it　was　a　sin　to　go　there；　the　sin　was　merely　local　and

municipal。　　Colette　（whose　name　I　do　not　know　how　to　spell；

for　I　was　never　in　epistolary　communication　with　that

hospitable　outlaw）　was　simply　an　unlicensed　publican；　who

gave　suppers　after　eleven　at　night；　the　Edinburgh　hour　of

closing。　　If　you　belonged　to　a　club；　you　could　get　a　much

better　supper　at　the　same　hour；　and　lose　not　a　jot　in　public

esteem。　　But　if　you　lacked　that　qualification；　and　were　an

hungered；　or　inclined　toward　conviviality　at　unlawful　hours；

Colette's　was　your　only　port。　　You　were　very　ill…supplied。

The　company　was　not　recruited　from　the　Senate　or　the　Church；

though　the　Bar　was　very　well　represented　on　the　only　occasion

on　which　I　flew　in　the　face　of　my　country's　laws；　and；　taking

my　reputation　in　my　hand；　penetrated　into　that　grim　supper…

house。　　And　Colette's　frequenters；　thrillingly　conscious　of

wrong…doing　and　'that　two…handed　engine　（the　policeman）　at

the　door；'　were　perhaps　inclined　to　somewhat　feverish　excess。

But　the　place　was　in　no　sense　a　very　bad　one；　and　it　is

somewhat　strange　to　me；　at　this　distance　of　time；　how　i