beasts and superbeasts-第12章

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her　lost　ground。　　The　governess　not　only　helped　herself　

well　and　truly　to　wine；　but　held　forth　with　considerable　

show　of　critical　knowledge　on　various　vintage　matters；　

concerning　which　the　Quabarls　were　in　no　wise　able　to　

pose　as　authorities。　　Previous　governesses　had　limited　

their　conversation　on　the　wine　topic　to　a　respectful　and　

doubtless　sincere　expression　of　a　preference　for　water。　　

When　this　one　went　as　far　as　to　recommend　a　wine　firm　in　

whose　hands　you　could　not　go　very　far　wrong　Mrs。　Quabarl　

thought　it　time　to　turn　the　conversation　into　more　usual　

channels。



〃We　got　very　satisfactory　references　about　you　from　

Canon　Teep；〃　she　observed；　〃a　very　estimable　man；　I　

should　think。〃



〃Drinks　like　a　fish　and　beats　his　wife；　otherwise　a　

very　lovable　character；〃　said　the　governess　

imperturbably。



〃MY　DEAR　Miss　Hope！　　I　trust　you　are　exaggerating；〃　

exclaimed　the　Quabarls　in　unison。



〃One　must　in　justice　admit　that　there　is　some　

provocation；〃　continued　the　romancer。　　〃Mrs。　Teep　is　

quite　the　most　irritating　bridge…player　that　I　have　ever　

sat　down　with；　her　leads　and　declarations　would　condone　a　

certain　amount　of　brutality　in　her　partner；　but　to　souse　

her　with　the　contents　of　the　only　soda…water　syphon　in　

the　house　on　a　Sunday　afternoon；　when　one　couldn't　get　

another；　argues　an　indifference　to　the　comfort　of　others　

which　I　cannot　altogether　overlook。　　You　may　think　me　

hasty　in　my　judgments；　but　it　was　practically　on　account　

of　the　syphon　incident　that　I　left。〃



〃We　will　talk　of　this　some　other　time；〃　said　Mrs。　

Quabarl　hastily。



〃I　shall　never　allude　to　it　again；〃　said　the　

governess　with　decision。



Mr。　Quabarl　made　a　welcome　diversion　by　asking　what　

studies　the　new　instructress　proposed　to　inaugurate　on　

the　morrow。



〃History　to　begin　with；〃　she　informed　him。



〃Ah；　history；〃　he　observed　sagely；　〃now　in　teaching　

them　history　you　must　take　care　to　interest　them　in　what　

they　learn。　　You　must　make　them　feel　that　they　are　being　

introduced　to　the　life…stories　of　men　and　women　who　

really　lived　…　〃



〃I've　told　her　all　that；〃　interposed　Mrs。　Quabarl。



〃I　teach　history　on　the　Schartz…Metterklume　method；〃　

said　the　governess　loftily。



〃Ah；　yes；〃　said　her　listeners；　thinking　it　expedient　

to　assume　an　acquaintance　at　least　with　the　name。





*　*　*　*





〃What　are　you　children　doing　out　here？〃　demanded　

Mrs。　Quabarl　the　next　morning；　on　finding　Irene　sitting　

rather　glumly　at　the　head　of　the　stairs；　while　her　sister　

was　perched　in　an　attitude　of　depressed　discomfort　on　the　

window…seat　behind　her；　with　a　wolf…skin　rug　almost　

covering　her。



〃We　are　having　a　history　lesson；〃　came　the　

unexpected　reply。　　〃I　am　supposed　to　be　Rome；　and　Viola　

up　there　is　the　she…wolf；　not　a　real　wolf；　but　the　figure　

of　one　that　the　Romans　used　to　set　store　by　…　I　forget　

why。　　Claude　and　Wilfrid　have　gone　to　fetch　the　shabby　

women。〃



〃The　shabby　women？〃



〃Yes；　they've　got　to　carry　them　off。　　They　didn't　

want　to；　but　Miss　Hope　got　one　of　father's　fives…bats　and　

said　she'd　give　them　a　number　nine　spanking　if　they　

didn't；　so　they've　gone　to　do　it。〃



A　loud；　angry　screaming　from　the　direction　of　the　

lawn　drew　Mrs。　Quabarl　thither　in　hot　haste；　fearful　lest　

the　threatened　castigation　might　even　now　be　in　process　

of　infliction。　　The　outcry；　however；　came　principally　

from　the　two　small　daughters　of　the　lodge…keeper；　who　

were　being　hauled　and　pushed　towards　the　house　by　the　

panting　and　dishevelled　Claude　and　Wilfrid；　whose　task　

was　rendered　even　more　arduous　by　the　incessant；　if　not　

very　effectual；　attacks　of　the　captured　maidens'　small　

brother。　　The　governess；　fives…bat　in　hand；　sat　

negligently　on　the　stone　balustrade；　presiding　over　the　

scene　with　the　cold　impartiality　of　a　Goddess　of　Battles。　　

A　furious　and　repeated　chorus　of　〃I'll　tell　muvver〃　rose　

from　the　lodge…children；　but　the　lodge…mother；　who　was　

hard　of　hearing；　was　for　the　moment　immersed　in　the　

preoccupation　of　her　washtub。



After　an　apprehensive　glance　in　the　direction　of　the　

lodge　（the　good　woman　was　gifted　with　the　highly　militant　

temper　which　is　sometimes　the　privilege　of　deafness）　Mrs。　

Quabarl　flew　indignantly　to　the　rescue　of　the　struggling　

captives。



〃Wilfrid！　　Claude！　　Let　those　children　go　at　once。　　

Miss　Hope；　what　on　earth　is　the　meaning　of　this　scene？〃



〃Early　Roman　history；　the　Sabine　Women；　don't　you　

know？　　It's　the　Schartz…Metterklume　method　to　make　

children　understand　history　by　acting　it　themselves；　

fixes　it　in　their　memory；　you　know。　　Of　course；　if；　

thanks　to　your　interference；　your　boys　go　through　life　

thinking　that　the　Sabine　women　ultimately　escaped；　I　

really　cannot　be　held　responsible。〃



〃You　may　be　very　clever　and　modern；　Miss　Hope；〃　said　

Mrs。　Quabarl　firmly；　〃but　I　should　like　you　to　leave　here　

by　the　next　train。　　Your　luggage　will　be　sent　after　you　

as　soon　as　it　arrives。〃



〃I'm　not　certain　exactly　where　I　shall　be　for　the　

next　few　days；〃　said　the　dismissed　instructress　of　youth；　

〃you　might　keep　my　luggage　till　I　wire　my　address。　　There　

are　only　a　couple　of　trunks　and　some　golf…clubs　and　a　

leopard　cub。〃



〃A　leopard　cub！〃　gasped　Mrs。　Quabarl。　　Even　in　her　

departure　this　extraordinary　person　seemed　destined　to　

leave　a　trail　of　embarrassment　behind　her。



〃Well；　it's　rather　left　off　being　a　cub；　it's　more　

than　half…grown；　you　know。　　A　fowl　every　day　and　a　rabbit　

on　Sundays　is　what　it　usually　gets。　　Raw　beef　makes　it　

too　excitable。　　Don't　trouble　about　getting　the　car　for　

me；　I'm　rather　inclined　for　a　walk。〃



And　Lady　Carlotta　strode　out　of　the　Quabarl　horizon。



The　advent　of　the　genuine　Miss　Hope；　who　had　made　a　

mistake　as　to　the　day　on　which　she　was　due　to　arrive；　

caused　a　turmoil　which　that　good　lady　was　quite　unused　to　

inspiring。　　Obviously　the　Quabarl　family　had　been　

woefully　befooled；　but　a　certain　amount　of　relief　came　

with　the　knowledge。



〃How　tiresome　for　you；　dear　Carlotta；〃　said　her　

hostess；　when　the　overdue　guest　ultimately　arrived；　〃how　

very　tiresome　losing　your　train　and　having　to　stop　

overnight　in　a　strange　place。〃



〃Oh　dear；　no；〃　said　Lady　Carlotta；　〃not　at　all　

tiresome　…　for　me。〃





THE　SEVENTH　PULLET





〃IT'S　not　the　daily　grind　that　I　complain　of；〃　said　

Blenkinthrope　resentfully；　〃it's　the　dull　grey　sameness　

of　my　life　outside　of　office　hours。　　Nothing　of　interest　

comes　my　way；　nothing　remarkable　or　out　of　the　common。　　

Even　the　little　things　that　I　do　try　to　find　some　

interest　in　don't　seem　to　interest　other　people。　　Things　

in　my　garden；　for　instance。〃



〃The　potato　that　weighed　just　over　two　pounds；〃　said　

his　friend　Gorworth。



〃Did　I　tell　you　about　that？〃　said　Blenkinthrope；　〃I　

was　telling　the　others　in　the　train　this　morning。　　I　

forgot　if　I'd　told　you。〃



〃To　be　exact　you　told　me　that　it　weighed　just　under　

two　pounds；　but　I　took　into　account　the　fact　that　

abnormal　vegetables　and　freshwater　fish　have　an　after…

life；　in　which　growth　is　not　arrested。〃



〃You're　just　like　the　others；〃　said　Blenkinthrope　

sadly；　〃you　only　make　fun　of　it。〃



〃The　fault　is　with　the　potato；　not　with　us；〃　said　

Gorworth；　〃we　are　not　in　the　least　interested　in　it　

because　it　is　not　in　the　least　interesting。　　The　men　you　

go　up　in　the　train　with　every　day　are　just　in　the　same　

case　as　yourself；　their　lives　are　commonplace　and　not　

very　interesting　to　themselves；　and　they　certainly　are　

not　going　to　wax　enthusiastic　over　the　commonplace　events　

in　other　men's　lives。　　Tell　them　something　startling；　

dramatic；　piquant　that　has　happened　to　yourself　or　to　

someone　in　your　family；　and　you　will　capture　their　

interest　at　once。　　They　will　talk　about　you　with　a　

certain　personal　pride　to　all　their　acquaintances。　　'Man　

I　know　intimately；　fellow　called　Blenkinthrope；　lives　

down　my　way；　had　two　of　his　fingers　clawed　clean　off　by　a　

lobster　he　was　carrying　home　to　supper。　　Doctor　says　

entire　hand　may　have　to　come　off。'　　Now　that　is　

conversation　of　a　very　high　order。　　But　imagine　walking　

into　a　tennis　club　with　the　remark：　'I　know　a　man　who　has　

grown　a　potato　weighing　two　and　a　quarter　pounds。'〃



〃But　hang　it　all；　my　dear　fellow；〃　said　

Blenkinthrope　impatiently；　〃haven't　I　just　told　you　that　

nothing　of　a　remarkable　nature　ever　happens　to　me？〃



〃Invent　something；〃　said　Gorworth。　　Since　winning　a　

prize　for　excellence　in　Scriptural　knowledge　at　a　

preparatory　school　he　had　felt　licensed　to　be　a　little　

more　unscrupulous　than　the　circle　he　moved　in。　　Much　

might　surely　be　excused　to　one　who　in　early　life　could　

give　a　list　of　seventeen　trees　mentioned　in　the　Old　

Testament。



〃What　sort　of　thing？〃asked　Blenkinthrope；　somewhat　

snappishly。



〃A　snake　got　into　your　hen…run　yesterday　morning　and　

killed　six　out　of　seven　pullets；　first　mesmerising　them　

with　its　eyes　and　then　biting　them　as　they　stood　

helpless。　　The　seventh　pullet　was　one　of　that　French　

sort；　with　feathers　all　over　its　eyes；　so　it　escaped　the　

mesmeric　snare；　and　just　flew　at　what　it　could　see　of　the　

snake　and　pecked　it　to　pieces。〃



〃Thank　you；〃　said　Blenkinthrope　stiffly；　〃it's　a　

very　clever　invention。　　If　such　a　thing　had　really　

happened　in　my　poultry…run　I　admit　I　should　have　been　

proud　and　interested　to　tell　people　about　it。　　But　I'd　

rather　stick　to　fact；　even　if　it　is　plain　fact。〃　　All　the　

same　his　mind　dwelt　wistfully　on　the　story　of　the　Seventh　

Pullet。　　He　could　picture　himself　telling　it　in　the　train　

amid　the　absorbed　interest　of　his　fellow…passengers。　　

Unconsciously　all　sorts　of　little　details　and　

improvements　began　to　suggest　themselves。



Wistfulness　was　still　his　dominant　mood　when　he　took　

his　seat　in　the　railway　carriage　the　next　morning。　　

Opposite　him　sat　Stevenham；　who　had　attained　to　a　

recognised　brevet　of　importance　through　the　fact　of　an　

uncle　having　dropped　dead　in　the　act　of　voting　at　a　

Parliamentary　election。　　That　had　happened　three　years　

ago；　but　Stevenham　was　still　deferred　to　on　all　questions　

of　home　and　foreign　politics。



〃Hullo；　how's　the　giant　mushroom；　or　whatever　it　

was？〃　was　all　the　notice　Blenkinthrope　got　from　his　

fellow　travellers。



Young　Duckby；　whom　he　mildly　disliked；　speedily　

monopolised　the　general　attention　by　an　account　of　a　

domestic　bereavement。



〃Had　four　young　pigeons　carried　off　last　night　by　a　

whacking　big　rat。　　Oh；　a　monster　he　must　have　been；　you　

could　tell　by　the　size　of　the　hole　he　made　breaking　into　

the　loft。〃



No　moderate…sized　rat　ever　seemed　to　carry　out　any　

predatory　operations　in　these　regions；　they　were　all　

enormous　in　their　enormity。



〃Pretty　hard　lines　that；〃　continued　Duckby；　seeing　

that　he　had　secured　the　attentio