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第24章

beasts and superbeasts-第24章

小说: beasts and superbeasts 字数: 每页3500字

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you; people who abstain from the pleasures of the card…

table never really appreciate the finer possibilities of 

the dining…table。  I suppose their powers of enlightened 

enjoyment get atrophied from disuse。〃



〃An aunt of mine was very ill after eating a 

lobster;〃 said Mrs。 Eggelby。



〃I daresay; if we knew more of her history; we 

should find out that she'd often been ill before eating 

the lobster。  Aren't you concealing the fact that she'd 

had measles and influenza and nervous headache and 

hysteria; and other things that aunts do have; long 

before she ate the lobster?  Aunts that have never known 

a day's illness are very rare; in fact; I don't 

personally know of any。  Of course if she ate it as a 

child of two weeks old it might have been her first 

illness … and her last。  But if that was the case I think 

you should have said so。〃



〃I must be going;〃 said Mrs。 Eggelby; in a tone 

which had been thoroughly sterilised of even perfunctory 

regret。



Clovis rose with an air of graceful reluctance。



〃I have so enjoyed our little talk about Eric;〃 he 

said; 〃I quite look forward to meeting him some day。〃



〃Good…bye;〃 said Mrs。 Eggelby frostily; the 

supplementary remark which she made at the back of her 

throat was …



〃I'll take care that you never shall!〃





A HOLIDAY TASK





KENELM JERTON entered the dining…hall of the Golden 

Galleon Hotel in the full crush of the luncheon hour。  

Nearly every seat was occupied; and small additional 

tables had been brought in; where floor space permitted; 

to accommodate latecomers; with the result that many of 

the tables were almost touching each other。  Jerton was 

beckoned by a waiter to the only vacant table that was 

discernible; and took his seat with the uncomfortable and 

wholly groundless idea that nearly every one in the room 

was staring at him。  He was a youngish man of ordinary 

appearance; quiet of dress and unobtrusive of manner; and 

he could never wholly rid himself of the idea that a 

fierce light of public scrutiny beat on him as though he 

had been a notability or a super…nut。  After he had 

ordered his lunch there came the unavoidable interval of 

waiting; with nothing to do but to stare at the flower…

vase on his table and to be stared at (in imagination) by 

several flappers; some maturer beings of the same sex; 

and a satirical…looking Jew。  In order to carry off the 

situation with some appearance of unconcern he became 

spuriously interested in the contents of the flower…vase。



〃What is the name of these roses; d'you know?〃 he 

asked the waiter。  The waiter was ready at all times to 

conceal his ignorance concerning items of the wine…list 

or menu; he was frankly ignorant as to the specific name 

of the roses。



〃AMY SYLVESTER PARTINGLON;〃 said a voice at Jerton's 

elbow。



The voice came from a pleasant…faced; well…dressed 

young woman who was sitting at a table that almost 

touched Jerton's。  He thanked her hurriedly and nervously 

for the information; and made some inconsequent remark 

about the flowers。



〃It is a curious thing;〃 said the young woman; that; 

〃I should be able to tell you the name of those roses 

without an effort of memory; because if you were to ask 

me my name I should be utterly unable to give it to you。〃



Jerton had not harboured the least intention of 

extending his thirst for name…labels to his neighbour。  

After her rather remarkable announcement; however; he was 

obliged to say something in the way of polite inquiry。



〃Yes;〃 answered the lady; 〃I suppose it is a case of 

partial loss of memory。  I was in the train coming down 

here; my ticket told me that I had come from Victoria and 

was bound for this place。  I had a couple of five…pound 

notes and a sovereign on me; no visiting cards or any 

other means of identification; and no idea as to who I 

am。  I can only hazily recollect that I have a title; I 

am Lady Somebody … beyond that my mind is a blank。〃



〃Hadn't you any luggage with you?〃 asked Jerton。



〃That is what I didn't know。  I knew the name of 

this hotel and made up my mind to come here; and when the 

hotel porter who meets the trains asked if I had any 

luggage I had to invent a dressing…bag and dress…basket; 

I could always pretend that they had gone astray。  I gave 

him the name of Smith; and presently he emerged from a 

confused pile of luggage and passengers with a dressing…

bag and dress…basket labelled Kestrel…Smith。  I had to 

take them; I don't see what else I could have done。〃



Jerton said nothing; but he rather wondered what the 

lawful owner of the baggage would do。



〃Of course it was dreadful arriving at a strange 

hotel with the name of Kestrel…Smith; but it would have 

been worse to have arrived without luggage。  Anyhow; I 

hate causing trouble。〃



Jerton had visions of harassed railway officials and 

distraught Kestrel…Smiths; but he made no attempt to 

clothe his mental picture in words。  The lady continued 

her story。



〃Naturally; none of my keys would fit the things; 

but I told an intelligent page boy that I had lost my 

key…ring; and he had the locks forced in a twinkling。  

Rather too intelligent; that boy; he will probably end in 

Dartmoor。  The Kestrel…Smith toilet tools aren't up to 

much; but they are better than nothing。〃



〃If you feel sure that you have a title;〃 said 

Jerton; 〃 why not get hold of a peerage and go right 

through it?〃



〃I tried that。  I skimmed through the list of the 

House of Lords in 'Whitaker;' but a mere printed string 

of names conveys awfully little to one; you know。  If you 

were an army officer and had lost your identity you might 

pore over the Army List for months without finding out 

who your were。  I'm going on another tack; I'm trying to 

find out by various little tests who I am NOT … that will 

narrow the range of uncertainty down a bit。  You may have 

noticed; for instance; that I'm lunching principally off 

lobster Newburg。〃



Jerton had not ventured to notice anything of the 

sort。



〃It's an extravagance; because it's one of the most 

expensive dishes on the menu; but at any rate it proves 

that I'm not Lady Starping; she never touches shell…fish; 

and poor Lady Braddleshrub has no digestion at all; if I 

am HER I shall certainly die in agony in the course of 

the afternoon; and the duty of finding out who I am will 

devolve on the press and the police and those sort of 

people; I shall be past caring。  Lady Knewford doesn't 

know one rose from another and she hates men; so she 

wouldn't have spoken to you in any case; and Lady 

Mousehilton flirts with every man she meets … I haven't 

flirted with you; have I?〃



Jerton hastily gave the required assurance。



〃Well; you see;〃 continued the lady; 〃that knocks 

four off the list at once。〃



〃It'll be rather a lengthy process bringing the list 

down to one;〃 said Jerton。



〃Oh; but; of course; there are heaps of them that I 

couldn't possibly be … women who've got grandchildren or 

sons old enough to have celebrated their coming of age。  

I've only got to consider the ones about my own age。  I 

tell you how you might help me this afternoon; if you 

don't mind; go through any of the back numbers of COUNTRY 

LIFE and those sort of papers that you can find in the 

smoking…room; and see if you come across my portrait with 

infant son or anything of that sort。  It won't take you 

ten minutes。  I'll meet you in the lounge about tea…time。  

Thanks awfully。〃



And the Fair Unknown; having graciously pressed 

Jerton into the search for her lost identity; rose and 

left the room。  As she passed the young man's table she 

halted for a moment and whispered:



〃Did you notice that I tipped the waiter a shilling?  

We can cross Lady Ulwight off the list; she would have 

died rather than do that。〃



At five o'clock Jerton made his way to the hotel 

lounge; he had spent a diligent but fruitless quarter of 

an hour among the illustrated weeklies in the smoking…

room。  His new acquaintance was seated at a small tea…

table; with a waiter hovering in attendance。



〃China tea or Indian?〃 she asked as Jerton came up。



〃China; please; and nothing to eat。  Have you 

discovered anything?〃



〃Only negative information。  I'm not Lady Befnal。  

She disapproves dreadfully of any form of gambling; so 

when I recognised a well…known book maker in the hotel 

lobby I went and put a tenner on an unnamed filly by 

William the Third out of Mitrovitza for the three…fifteen 

race。  I suppose the fact of the animal being nameless 

was what attracted me。〃



Did it win?〃 asked Jerton。



〃No; came in fourth; the most irritating thing a 

horse can do when you've backed it win or place。  Anyhow; 

I know now that I'm not Lady Befnal。〃



〃It seems to me that the knowledge was rather dearly 

bought;〃 commented Jerton。



〃Well; yes; it has rather cleared me out;〃 admitted 

the identity…seeker; 〃a florin is about all I've got left 

on me。  The lobster Newburg made my lunch rather an 

expensive one; and; of course; I had to tip that boy for 

what he did to the Kestrel…Smith locks。  I've got rather 

a useful idea; though。  I feel certain that I belong to 

the Pivot Club; I'll go back to town and ask the hall 

porter there if there are any letters for me。  He knows 

all the members by sight; and if there are any letters or 

telephone messages waiting for me of course that will 

solve the problem。  If he says there aren't any I shall 

say: 'You know who I am; don't you?' so I'll find out 

anyway。〃



The plan seemed a sound one; a difficulty in its 

execution suggested itself to Jerton。



〃Of course;〃 said the lady; when he hinted at the 

obstacle; 〃there's my fare back to town; and my bill here 

and cabs and things。  If you'll lend me three pounds that 

ought to see me through comfortably。  Thanks ever so。  

Then there is the question of that luggage: I don't want 

to be saddled with that for the rest of my life。  I'll 

have it brought down to the hall and you can pretend to 

mount guard over it while I'm writing a letter。  Then I 

shall just slip away to the station; and you can wander 

off to the smoking…room; and they can do what they like 

with the things。  They'll advertise them after a bit and 

the owner can claim them。〃



Jerton acquiesced in the manoeuvre; and duly mounted 

guard over the luggage while its temporary owner slipped 

unobtrusively out of the hotel。  Her departure was not; 

however; altogether unnoticed。  Two gentlemen were 

strolling past Jerton; and one of them remarked to the 

other:



〃Did you see that tall young woman in grey who went 

out just now?  She is the Lady … 〃



His promenade carried him out of earshot at the 

criti

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