beasts and superbeasts-第3章
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a funeral in the house。〃
〃It's a case of necessity；〃 said Egbert； 〃once an
otter takes to that sort of thing it won't stop。〃
〃Perhaps it will go elsewhere now there are no more
fowls left；〃 suggested Amanda。
〃One would think you wanted to shield the beast；〃
said Egbert。
〃There's been so little water in the stream lately；〃
objected Amanda； 〃it seems hardly sporting to hunt an
animal when it has so little chance of taking refuge
anywhere。〃
〃Good gracious！〃 fumed Egbert； 〃I'm not thinking
about sport。 I want to have the animal killed as soon as
possible。〃
Even Amanda's opposition weakened when； during
church time on the following Sunday； the otter made its
way into the house； raided half a salmon from the larder
and worried it into scaly fragments on the Persian rug in
Egbert's studio。
〃We shall have it hiding under our beds and biting
pieces out of our feet before long；〃 said Egbert； and
from what Amanda knew of this particular otter she felt
that the possibility was not a remote one。
On the evening preceding the day fixed for the hunt
Amanda spent a solitary hour walking by the banks of the
stream； making what she imagined to be hound noises。 It
was charitably supposed by those who overheard her
performance； that she was practising for farmyard
imitations at the forth…coming village entertainment。
It was her friend and neighbour； Aurora Burret； who
brought her news of the day's sport。
〃Pity you weren't out； we had quite a good day。 We
found at once； in the pool just below your garden。〃
〃Did you … kill？〃 asked Amanda。
〃Rather。 A fine she…otter。 Your husband got rather
badly bitten in trying to 'tail it。' Poor beast； I felt
quite sorry for it； it had such a human look in its eyes
when it was killed。 You'll call me silly； but do you
know who the look reminded me of？ My dear woman； what is
the matter？〃
When Amanda had recovered to a certain extent from
her attack of nervous prostration Egbert took her to the
Nile Valley to recuperate。 Change of scene speedily
brought about the desired recovery of health and mental
balance。 The escapades of an adventurous otter in search
of a variation of diet were viewed in their proper light。
Amanda's normally placid temperament reasserted itself。
Even a hurricane of shouted curses； coming from her
husband's dressing…room； in her husband's voice； but
hardly in his usual vocabulary； failed to disturb her
serenity as she made a leisurely toilet one evening in a
Cairo hotel。
〃What is the matter？ What has happened？〃 she asked
in amused curiosity。
〃The little beast has thrown all my clean shirts
into the bath！ Wait till I catch you； you little … 〃
〃What little beast？〃 asked Amanda； suppressing a
desire to laugh； Egbert's language was so hopelessly
inadequate to express his outraged feelings。
〃A little beast of a naked brown Nubian boy；〃
spluttered Egbert。
And now Amanda is seriously ill。
THE BOAR…PIG
〃THERE is a back way on to the lawn；〃 said Mrs。
Philidore Stossen to her daughter； 〃through a small grass
paddock and then through a walled fruit garden full of
gooseberry bushes。 I went all over the place last year
when the family were away。 There is a door that opens
from the fruit garden into a shrubbery； and once we
emerge from there we can mingle with the guests as if we
had come in by the ordinary way。 It's much safer than
going in by the front entrance and running the risk of
coming bang up against the hostess； that would be so
awkward when she doesn't happen to have invited us。〃
〃Isn't it a lot of trouble to take for getting
admittance to a garden party？〃
〃To a garden party； yes； to THE garden party of the
season； certainly not。 Every one of any consequence in
the county； with the exception of ourselves； has been
asked to meet the Princess； and it would be far more
troublesome to invent explanations as to why we weren't
there than to get in by a roundabout way。 I stopped Mrs。
Cuvering in the road yesterday and talked very pointedly
about the Princess。 If she didn't choose to take the
hint and send me an invitation it's not my fault； is it？
Here we are： we just cut across the grass and through
that little gate into the garden。〃
Mrs。 Stossen and her daughter； suitably arrayed for
a county garden party function with an infusion of
Almanack de Gotha； sailed through the narrow grass
paddock and the ensuing gooseberry garden with the air of
state barges making an unofficial progress along a rural
trout stream。 There was a certain amount of furtive
haste mingled with the stateliness of their advance； as
though hostile search…lights might be turned on them at
any moment； and； as a matter of fact； they were not
unobserved。 Matilda Cuvering； with the alert eyes of
thirteen years old and the added advantage of an exalted
position in the branches of a medlar tree； had enjoyed a
good view of the Stossen flanking movement and had
foreseen exactly where it would break down in execution。
〃They'll find the door locked； and they'll jolly
well have to go back the way they came；〃 she remarked to
herself。 〃Serves them right for not coming in by the
proper entrance。 What a pity Tarquin Superbus isn't
loose in the paddock。 After all； as every one else is
enjoying themselves； I don't see why Tarquin shouldn't
have an afternoon out。〃
Matilda was of an age when thought is action； she
slid down from the branches of the medlar tree； and when
she clambered back again Tarquin； the huge white
Yorkshire boar…pig； had exchanged the narrow limits of
his stye for the wider range of the grass paddock。 The
discomfited Stossen expedition； returning in
recriminatory but otherwise orderly retreat from the
unyielding obstacle of the locked door； came to a sudden
halt at the gate dividing the paddock from the gooseberry
garden。
〃What a villainous…looking animal；〃 exclaimed Mrs。
Stossen； 〃it wasn't there when we came in。〃
〃It's there now； anyhow；〃 said her daughter。 〃What
on earth are we to do？ I wish we had never come。〃
The boar…pig had drawn nearer to the gate for a
closer inspection of the human intruders； and stood
champing his jaws and blinking his small red eyes in a
manner that was doubtless intended to be disconcerting；
and； as far as the Stossens were concerned； thoroughly
achieved that result。
〃Shoo！ Hish！ Hish！ Shoo！〃 cried the ladies in
chorus。
〃If they think they're going to drive him away by
reciting lists of the kings of Israel and Judah they're
laying themselves out for disappointment；〃 observed
Matilda from her seat in the medlar tree。 As she made
the observation aloud Mrs。 Stossen became for the first
time aware of her presence。 A moment or two earlier she
would have been anything but pleased at the discovery
that the garden was not as deserted as it looked； but now
she hailed the fact of the child's presence on the scene
with absolute relief。
〃Little girl； can you find some one to drive away …
〃 she began hopefully。
〃COMMENT？ COMPRENDS PAS；〃 was the response。
〃Oh； are you French？ ETES VOUS FRANCAISE？〃
〃PAS DE TOUS。 'SUIS ANGLAISE。〃
〃Then why not talk English？ I want to know if … 〃
〃PERMETTEZ…MOI EXPLIQUER。 You see； I'm rather under
a cloud；〃 said Matilda。 〃I'm staying with my aunt； and I
was told I must behave particularly well to…day； as lots
of people were coming for a garden party； and I was told
to imitate Claude； that's my young cousin； who never does
anything wrong except by accident； and then is always
apologetic about it。 It seems they thought I ate too
much raspberry trifle at lunch； and they said Claude
never eats too much raspberry trifle。 Well； Claude
always goes to sleep for half an hour after lunch；
because he's told to； and I waited till he was asleep；
and tied his hands and started forcible feeding with a
whole bucketful of raspberry trifle that they were
keeping for the garden…party。 Lots of it went on to his
sailor…suit and some of it on to the bed； but a good deal
went down Claude's throat； and they can't say again that
he has never been known to eat too much raspberry trifle。
That is why I am not allowed to go to the party； and as
an additional punishment I must speak French all the
afternoon。 I've had to tell you all this in English； as
there were words like ‘forcible feeding' that I didn't
know the French for； of course I could have invented
them； but if I had said NOURRITURE OBLIGATOIRE you
wouldn't have had the least idea what I was talking
about。 MAIS MAINTENANT； NOUS PARLONS FRANCAIS。〃
〃Oh； very well； TRES BIEN；〃 said Mrs。 Stossen
reluctantly； in moments of flurry such French as she knew
was not under very good control。 〃LA； A L'AUTRE COTE DE
LA PORTE； EST UN COCHON … 〃
〃UN COCHON？ AH； LE PETIT CHARMANT！〃 exclaimed
Matilda with enthusiasm。
〃MAIS NON； PAS DU TOUT PETIT； ET PAS DU TOUT
CHARMANT； UN BETE FEROCE … 〃
〃UNE BETE；〃 corrected Matilda； 〃a pig is masculine
as long as you call it a pig； but if you lose your temper
with it and call it a ferocious beast it becomes one of
us at once。 French is a dreadfully unsexing language。〃
〃For goodness' sake let us talk English then；〃 said
Mrs。 Stossen。 〃Is there any way out of this garden
except through the paddock where the pig is？〃
〃I always go over the wall； by way of the plum
tree；〃 said Matilda。
〃Dressed as we are we could hardly do that；〃 said
Mrs。 Stossen； it was difficult to imagine her doing it in
any costume。
〃Do you think you could go and get some one who
would drive the pig away？〃 asked Miss Stossen。
〃I promised my aunt I would stay here till five
o'clock； it's not four yet。〃
〃I am sure； under the circumstances； your aunt would
permit … 〃
〃My conscience would not permit；〃 said Matilda with
cold dignity。
〃We can't stay here till five o'clock；〃 exclaimed
Mrs。 Stossen with growing exasperation。
〃Shall I recite to you to make the time pass
quicker？〃 asked Matilda obligingly。 〃 ‘Belinda； the
little Breadwinner；' is considered my best piece； or；
perhaps； it ought to be something in French。 Henri
Quatre's address to his soldiers is the only thing I
really know in that language。〃
〃If you will go and fetch some one to drive that
animal away I will give you something to buy yourself a
nice present；〃 said Mrs。 Stossen。
Matilda came several inches lower down the medlar
tree。
〃That is the most practical suggestion you have made
yet for getting out of the garden；〃 she remarked
cheerfully； 〃Claude and I are collecting money for the
