beasts and superbeasts-第4章

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yet　for　getting　out　of　the　garden；〃　she　remarked　

cheerfully；　〃Claude　and　I　are　collecting　money　for　the　

Children's　Fresh　Air　Fund；　and　we　are　seeing　which　of　us　

can　collect　the　biggest　sum。〃



〃I　shall　be　very　glad　to　contribute　half　a　crown；　

very　glad　indeed；〃　said　Mrs。　Stossen；　digging　that　coin　

out　of　the　depths　of　a　receptacle　which　formed　a　detached　

outwork　of　her　toilet。



〃Claude　is　a　long　way　ahead　of　me　at　present；〃　

continued　Matilda；　taking　no　notice　of　the　suggested　

offering；　〃you　see；　he's　only　eleven；　and　has　golden　

hair；　and　those　are　enormous　advantages　when　you're　on　

the　collecting　job。　　Only　the　other　day　a　Russian　lady　

gave　him　ten　shillings。　　Russians　understand　the　art　of　

giving　far　better　than　we　do。　　I　expect　Claude　will　net　

quite　twenty…five　shillings　this　afternoon；　he'll　have　

the　field　to　himself；　and　he'll　be　able　to　do　the　pale；　

fragile；　not…long…for…this…world　business　to　perfection　

after　his　raspberry　trifle　experience。　　Yes；　he'll　be　

QUITE　two　pounds　ahead　of　me　by　now。〃



With　much　probing　and　plucking　and　many　regretful　

murmurs　the　beleaguered　ladies　managed　to　produce　seven…

and…sixpence　between　them。



〃I　am　afraid　this　is　all　we've　got；〃　said　Mrs。　

Stossen。



Matilda　showed　no　sign　of　coming　down　either　to　the　

earth　or　to　their　figure。



〃I　could　not　do　violence　to　my　conscience　for　

anything　less　than　ten　shillings；〃　she　announced　stiffly。



Mother　and　daughter　muttered　certain　remarks　under　

their　breath；　in　which　the　word　〃beast〃　was　prominent；　

and　probably　had　no　reference　to　Tarquin。



〃I　find　I　HAVE　got　another　half…crown；〃　said　Mrs。　

Stossen　in　a　shaking　voice；　〃here　you　are。　　Now　please　

fetch　some　one　quickly。〃



Matilda　slipped　down　from　the　tree；　took　possession　

of　the　donation；　and　proceeded　to　pick　up　a　handful　of　

over…ripe　medlars　from　the　grass　at　her　feet。　　Then　she　

climbed　over　the　gate　and　addressed　herself　

affectionately　to　the　boar…pig。



〃Come；　Tarquin；　dear　old　boy；　you　know　you　can't　

resist　medlars　when　they're　rotten　and　squashy。〃



Tarquin　couldn't。　　By　dint　of　throwing　the　fruit　in　

front　of　him　at　judicious　intervals　Matilda　decoyed　him　

back　to　his　stye；　while　the　delivered　captives　hurried　

across　the　paddock。



〃Well；　I　never！　　The　little　minx！〃　exclaimed　Mrs。　

Stossen　when　she　was　safely　on　the　high　road。　　〃The　

animal　wasn't　savage　at　all；　and　as　for　the　ten　

shillings；　I　don't　believe　the　Fresh　Air　Fund　will　see　a　

penny　of　it！〃



There　she　was　unwarrantably　harsh　in　her　judgment。　　

If　you　examine　the　books　of　the　fund　you　will　find　the　

acknowledgment：　〃Collected　by　Miss　Matilda　Cuvering；　2s。　

6d。〃





THE　BROGUE





THE　hunting　season　had　come　to　an　end；　and　the　

Mullets　had　not　succeeded　in　selling　the　Brogue。　　There　

had　been　a　kind　of　tradition　in　the　family　for　the　past　

three　or　four　years；　a　sort　of　fatalistic　hope；　that　the　

Brogue　would　find　a　purchaser　before　the　hunting　was　

over；　but　seasons　came　and　went　without　anything　

happening　to　justify　such　ill…founded　optimism。　　The　

animal　had　been　named　Berserker　in　the　earlier　stages　of　

its　career；　it　had　been　rechristened　the　Brogue　later　on；　

in　recognition　of　the　fact　that；　once　acquired；　it　was　

extremely　difficult　to　get　rid　of。　　The　unkinder　wits　of　

the　neighbourhood　had　been　known　to　suggest　that　the　

first　letter　of　its　name　was　superfluous。　　The　Brogue　had　

been　variously　described　in　sale　catalogues　as　a　light…

weight　hunter；　a　lady's　hack；　and；　more　simply；　but　still　

with　a　touch　of　imagination；　as　a　useful　brown　gelding；　

standing　15。1。　　Toby　Mullet　had　ridden　him　for　four　

seasons　with　the　West　Wessex；　you　can　ride　almost　any　

sort　of　horse　with　the　West　Wessex　as　long　as　it　is　an　

animal　that　knows　the　country。　　The　Brogue　knew　the　

country　intimately；　having　personally　created　most　of　the　

gaps　that　were　to　be　met　with　in　banks　and　hedges　for　

many　miles　round。　　His　manners　and　characteristics　were　

not　ideal　in　the　hunting　field；　but　he　was　probably　

rather　safer　to　ride　to　hounds　than　he　was　as　a　hack　on　

country　roads。　　According　to　the　Mullet　family；　he　was　

not　really　road…shy；　but　there　were　one　or　two　objects　of　

dislike　that　brought　on　sudden　attacks　of　what　Toby　

called　the　swerving　sickness。　　Motors　and　cycles　he　

treated　with　tolerant　disregard；　but　pigs；　wheelbarrows；　

piles　of　stones　by　the　roadside；　perambulators　in　a　

village　street；　gates　painted　too　aggressively　white；　and　

sometimes；　but　not　always；　the　newer　kind　of　beehives；　

turned　him　aside　from　his　tracks　in　vivid　imitation　of　

the　zigzag　course　of　forked　lightning。　　If　a　pheasant　

rose　noisily　from　the　other　side　of　a　hedgerow　the　Brogue　

would　spring　into　the　air　at　the　same　moment；　but　this　

may　have　been　due　to　a　desire　to　be　companionable。　　The　

Mullet　family　contradicted　the　widely　prevalent　report　

that　the　horse　was　a　confirmed　crib…biter。



It　was　about　the　third　week　in　May　that　Mrs。　Mullet；　

relict　of　the　late　Sylvester　Mullet；　and　mother　of　Toby　

and　a　bunch　of　daughters；　assailed　Clovis　Sangrail　on　the　

outskirts　of　the　village　with　a　breathless　catalogue　of　

local　happenings。



〃You　know　our　new　neighbour；　Mr。　Penricarde？〃　she　

vociferated；　〃awfully　rich；　owns　tin　mines　in　Cornwall；　

middle…aged　and　rather　quiet。　　He's　taken　the　Red　House　

on　a　long　lease　and　spent　a　lot　of　money　on　alterations　

and　improvements。　　Well；　Toby's　sold　him　the　Brogue！〃



Clovis　spent　a　moment　or　two　in　assimilating　the　

astonishing　news；　then　he　broke　out　into　unstinted　

congratulation。　　If　he　had　belonged　to　a　more　emotional　

race　he　would　probably　have　kissed　Mrs。　Mullet。



〃How　wonderfully　lucky　to　have　pulled　it　off　at　

last！　　Now　you　can　buy　a　decent　animal。　　I've　always　said　

that　Toby　was　clever。　　Ever　so　many　congratulations。〃



〃Don't　congratulate　me。　　It's　the　most　unfortunate　

thing　that　could　have　happened！〃　said　Mrs。　Mullet　

dramatically。



Clovis　stared　at　her　in　amazement。



〃Mr。　Penricarde；〃　said　Mrs。　Mullet；　sinking　her　

voice　to　what　she　imagined　to　be　an　impressive　whisper；　

though　it　rather　resembled　a　hoarse；　excited　squeak；　〃Mr。　

Penricarde　has　just　begun　to　pay　attentions　to　Jessie。　　

Slight　at　first；　but　now　unmistakable。　　I　was　a　fool　not　

to　have　seen　it　sooner。　　Yesterday；　at　the　Rectory　garden　

party；　he　asked　her　what　her　favourite　flowers　were；　and　

she　told　him　carnations；　and　to…day　a　whole　stack　of　

carnations　has　arrived；　clove　and　malmaison　and　lovely　

dark　red　ones；　regular　exhibition　blooms；　and　a　box　of　

chocolates　that　he　must　have　got　on　purpose　from　London。　　

And　he's　asked　her　to　go　round　the　links　with　him　to…

morrow。　　And　now；　just　at　this　critical　moment；　Toby　has　

sold　him　that　animal。　　It's　a　calamity！〃



〃But　you've　been　trying　to　get　the　horse　off　your　

hands　for　years；〃　said　Clovis。



〃I've　got　a　houseful　of　daughters；〃　said　Mrs。　

Mullet；　〃and　I've　been　trying　…　well；　not　to　get　them　off　

my　hands；　of　course；　but　a　husband　or　two　wouldn't　be　

amiss　among　the　lot　of　them；　there　are　six　of　them；　you　

know。〃



〃I　don't　know；〃　said　Clovis；　〃I've　never　counted；　

but　I　expect　you're　right　as　to　the　number；　mothers　

generally　know　these　things。〃



〃And　now；〃　continued　Mrs。　Mullet；　in　her　tragic　

whisper；　〃when　there's　a　rich　husband…in…prospect　

imminent　on　the　horizon　Toby　goes　and　sells　him　that　

miserable　animal。　　It　will　probably　kill　him　if　he　tries　

to　ride　it；　anyway　it　will　kill　any　affection　he　might　

have　felt　towards　any　member　of　our　family。　　What　is　to　

be　done？　　We　can't　very　well　ask　to　have　the　horse　back；　

you　see；　we　praised　it　up　like　anything　when　we　thought　

there　was　a　chance　of　his　buying　it；　and　said　it　was　just　

the　animal　to　suit　him。〃



〃Couldn't　you　steal　it　out　of　his　stable　and　send　it　

to　grass　at　some　farm　miles　away？〃　suggested　Clovis；　

〃write　'Votes　for　Women'　on　the　stable　door；　and　the　

thing　would　pass　for　a　Suffragette　outrage。　　No　one　who　

knew　the　horse　could　possibly　suspect　you　of　wanting　to　

get　it　back　again。〃



〃Every　newspaper　in　the　country　would　ring　with　the　

affair；〃　said　Mrs。　Mullet；　〃can't　you　imagine　the　

headline；　'Valuable　Hunter　Stolen　by　Suffragettes'？　　The　

police　would　scour　the　countryside　till　they　found　the　

animal。〃



〃Well；　Jessie　must　try　and　get　it　back　from　

Penricarde　on　the　plea　that　it's　an　old　favourite。　　She　

can　say　it　was　only　sold　because　the　stable　had　to　be　

pulled　down　under　the　terms　of　an　old　repairing　lease；　

and　that　now　it　has　been　arranged　that　the　stable　is　to　

stand　for　a　couple　of　years　longer。〃



〃It　sounds　a　queer　proceeding　to　ask　for　a　horse　

back　when　you've　just　sold　him；〃　said　Mrs。　Mullet；　〃but　

something　must　be　done；　and　done　at　once。　　The　man　is　not　

used　to　horses；　and　I　believe　I　told　him　it　was　as　quiet　

as　a　lamb。　　After　all；　lambs　go　kicking　and　twisting　

about　as　if　they　were　demented；　don't　they？〃



〃The　lamb　has　an　entirely　unmerited　character　for　

sedateness；〃　agreed　Clovis。



Jessie　came　back　from　the　golf　links　next　day　in　a　

state　of　mingled　elation　and　concern。



〃It's　all　right　about　the　proposal；〃　she　announced　

he　came　out　with　it　at　the　sixth　hole。　　I　said　I　must　

have　time　to　think　it　over。　　I　accepted　him　at　the　

seventh。〃



〃My　dear；〃　said　her　mother；　〃I　think　a　little　more　

maidenly　reserve　and　hesitation　would　have　been　

advisable；　as　you've　known　him　so　short　a　time。　　You　

might　have　waited　till　the　ninth　hole。〃



〃The　seventh　is　a　very　long　hole；〃　said　Jessie；　

〃besides；　the　tension　was　putting　us　both　off　our　game。　　

By　the　time　we'd　got　to　the　ninth　hole　we'd　settled　lots　

of　things。　　The　honeymoon　is　to　be　spent　in　Corsica；　with　

perhaps　a　flying　visit　to　Naples　if　we　feel　like　it；　and　

a　week　in　London　to　wind　up　with。　　Two　of　his　nieces　are　

to　be　asked　to　be　bridesmaids；　so　with　our　lot　there　will　

be　seven；　which　is　rather　a　lucky　number。　　You　are　to　

wear　your　pearl　grey；　with　any　amount　of　Honiton　lace　

jabbed　into　it。　　By　the　way；　he's　coming　over　this　

evening　to　ask　your　consent　to　the　whole　affair。　　So　far　

all's　well；　but　about　the　Brogue　it's　a　different　matter。　　

I　told　him　the　legend　about　the　stable；　and　how　keen　we　

were　about　buying　the　horse　back；　but　he　seems　equally　

keen　on　keeping　it。　　He　said　he　must　have　horse　exercise　

now　that　he's　living　in　the　country；　and　he's　going　to　

start　riding　tomorrow。　　He's　ridden　a　few　times　in　the　

Row；　on　an　animal　that　was　accustomed　to　carry　

octogenarians　and　people　undergoing　rest　cures；　and　

that's　about　all　his　experience　in　the　saddle　…　oh；　and　

he　rode　a　pony　once　in　Norfolk；　when　he　was　fifteen　and　

the　pony　twenty…four；　and　tomorrow　he's　going　to　ride　the　

Brogue！　　I　shall　be　a　widow　before　I'm　mar