northanger abbey-第40章

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and　accordingly　she　hurried　down　to　welcome　him。　







　　　　　Catherine　walked　on　to　her　chamber；　making　up　her



mind　as　well　as　she　could；　to　a　further　acquaintance　with



Captain　Tilney；　and　comforting　herself　under　the　unpleasant



impression　his　conduct　had　given　her；　and　the　persuasion



of　his　being　by　far　too　fine　a　gentleman　to　approve　of　her；



that　at　least　they　should　not　meet　under　such　circumstances



as　would　make　their　meeting　materially　painful。　



She　trusted　he　would　never　speak　of　Miss　Thorpe；



and　indeed；　as　he　must　by　this　time　be　ashamed　of　the



part　he　had　acted；　there　could　be　no　danger　of　it；



and　as　long　as　all　mention　of　Bath　scenes　were　avoided；



she　thought　she　could　behave　to　him　very　civilly。　



In　such　considerations　time　passed　away；　and　it　was　certainly



in　his　favour　that　Eleanor　should　be　so　glad　to　see　him；



and　have　so　much　to　say；　for　half　an　hour　was　almost



gone　since　his　arrival；　and　Eleanor　did　not　come　up。　







　　　　　At　that　moment　Catherine　thought　she　heard　her



step　in　the　gallery；　and　listened　for　its　continuance；



but　all　was　silent。　　Scarcely；　however；　had　she　convicted



her　fancy　of　error；　when　the　noise　of　something　moving



close　to　her　door　made　her　start；　it　seemed　as　if　someone



was　touching　the　very　doorwayand　in　another　moment



a　slight　motion　of　the　lock　proved　that　some　hand　must



be　on　it。　　She　trembled　a　little　at　the　idea　of　anyone's



approaching　so　cautiously；　but　resolving　not　to　be　again



overcome　by　trivial　appearances　of　alarm；　or　misled



by　a　raised　imagination；　she　stepped　quietly　forward；



and　opened　the　door。　　Eleanor；　and　only　Eleanor；　stood　there。　



Catherine's　spirits；　however；　were　tranquillized　but　for



an　instant；　for　Eleanor's　cheeks　were　pale；　and　her　manner



greatly　agitated。　　Though　evidently　intending　to　come　in；



it　seemed　an　effort　to　enter　the　room；　and　a　still



greater　to　speak　when　there。　　Catherine；　supposing　some



uneasiness　on　Captain　Tilney's　account；　could　only



express　her　concern　by　silent　attention；　obliged　her



to　be　seated；　rubbed　her　temples　with　lavender…water；



and　hung　over　her　with　affectionate　solicitude。　



〃My　dear　Catherine；　you　must　notyou　must　not　indeed〃



were　Eleanor's　first　connected　words。　　〃I　am　quite　well。　



This　kindness　distracts　meI　cannot　bear　itI　come



to　you　on　such　an　errand！〃







　　　　　〃Errand！　To　me！〃







　　　　　〃How　shall　I　tell　you！　Oh！　How　shall　I　tell　you！〃







　　　　　A　new　idea　now　darted　into　Catherine's　mind；



and　turning　as　pale　as　her　friend；　she　exclaimed；



〃'Tis　a　messenger　from　Woodston！〃







　　　　　〃You　are　mistaken；　indeed；〃　returned　Eleanor；　looking　at



her　most　compassionately；　〃it　is　no　one　from　Woodston。　



It　is　my　father　himself。〃　Her　voice　faltered；　and　her　eyes



were　turned　to　the　ground　as　she　mentioned　his　name。　



His　unlooked…for　return　was　enough　in　itself　to　make



Catherine's　heart　sink；　and　for　a　few　moments　she



hardly　supposed　there　were　anything　worse　to　be　told。　



She　said　nothing；　and　Eleanor；　endeavouring　to　collect



herself　and　speak　with　firmness；　but　with　eyes　still



cast　down；　soon　went　on。　　〃You　are　too　good；　I　am　sure；



to　think　the　worse　of　me　for　the　part　I　am　obliged



to　perform。　　I　am　indeed　a　most　unwilling　messenger。　



After　what　has　so　lately　passed；　so　lately　been



settled　between　ushow　joyfully；　how　thankfully　on　my



side！as　to　your　continuing　here　as　I　hoped　for　many；



many　weeks　longer；　how　can　I　tell　you　that　your　kindness



is　not　to　be　acceptedand　that　the　happiness　your



company　has　hitherto　given　us　is　to　be　repaid　by　But



I　must　not　trust　myself　with　words。　　My　dear　Catherine；



we　are　to　part。　　My　father　has　recollected　an　engagement



that　takes　our　whole　family　away　on　Monday。　　We　are　going



to　Lord　Longtown's；　near　Hereford；　for　a　fortnight。　



Explanation　and　apology　are　equally　impossible。　　I　cannot



attempt　either。〃







　　　　　〃My　dear　Eleanor；〃　cried　Catherine；　suppressing　her



feelings　as　well　as　she　could；　〃do　not　be　so　distressed。　



A　second　engagement　must　give　way　to　a　first。　　I　am　very；



very　sorry　we　are　to　partso　soon；　and　so　suddenly　too；



but　I　am　not　offended；　indeed　I　am　not。　　I　can　finish　my



visit　here；　you　know；　at　any　time；　or　I　hope　you　will　come



to　me。　　Can　you；　when　you　return　from　this　lord's；　come



to　Fullerton？〃







　　　　　〃It　will　not　be　in　my　power；　Catherine。〃







　　　　　〃Come　when　you　can；　then。〃







　　　　　Eleanor　made　no　answer；　and　Catherine's　thoughts



recurring　to　something　more　directly　interesting；



she　added；　thinkng　aloud；　〃Mondayso　soon　as　Monday；



and　you　all　go。　　Well；　I　am　certain　of　I　shall　be　able



to　take　leave；　however。　　I　need　not　go　till　just　before



you　do；　you　know。　　Do　not　be　distressed；　Eleanor；　I　can



go　on　Monday　very　well。　　My　father　and　mother's　having



no　notice　of　it　is　of　very　little　consequence。　



The　general　will　send　a　servant　with　me；　I　dare　say；



half　the　wayand　then　I　shall　soon　be　at　Salisbury；



and　then　I　am　only　nine　miles　from　home。〃







　　　　　〃Ah；　Catherine！　Were　it　settled　so；　it　would　be



somewhat　less　intolerable；　though　in　such　common　attentions



you　would　have　received　but　half　what　you　ought。　



Buthow　can　I　tell　you？tomorrow　morning　is　fixed　for　your



leaving　us；　and　not　even　the　hour　is　left　to　your　choice；



the　very　carriage　is　ordered；　and　will　be　here　at　seven



o'clock；　and　no　servant　will　be　offered　you。〃







　　　　　Catherine　sat　down；　breathless　and　speechless。　



〃I　could　hardly　believe　my　senses；　when　I　heard　it；



and　no　displeasure；　no　resentment　that　you　can　feel　at



this　moment；　however　justly　great；　can　be　more　than　I



myselfbut　I　must　not　talk　of　what　I　felt。　　Oh！　That　I



could　suggest　anything　in　extenuation！　Good　God！　What



will　your　father　and　mother　say！　After　courting　you　from



the　protection　of　real　friends　to　thisalmost　double



distance　from　your　home；　to　have　you　driven　out　of　the　house；



without　the　considerations　even　of　decent　civility！　Dear；



dear　Catherine；　in　being　the　bearer　of　such　a　message；



I　seem　guilty　myself　of　all　its　insult；　yet；　I　trust　you



will　acquit　me；　for　you　must　have　been　long　enough　in　this



house　to　see　that　I　am　but　a　nominal　mistress　of　it；



that　my　real　power　is　nothing。〃







　　　　　〃Have　I　offended　the　general？〃　said　Catherine



in　a　faltering　voice。　







　　　　　〃Alas！　For　my　feelings　as　a　daughter；　all　that　I　know；



all　that　I　answer　for；　is　that　you　can　have　given　him



no　just　cause　of　offence。　　He　certainly　is　greatly；



very　greatly　discomposed；　I　have　seldom　seen　him　more　so。　



His　temper　is　not　happy；　and　something　has　now　occurred



to　ruffle　it　in　an　uncommon　degree；　some　disappointment；



some　vexation；　which　just　at　this　moment　seems　important；



but　which　I　can　hardly　suppose　you　to　have　any　concern　in；



for　how　is　it　possible？〃







　　　　　It　was　with　pain　that　Catherine　could　speak　at　all；



and　it　was　only　for　Eleanor's　sake　that　she　attempted　it。　



〃I　am　sure；〃　said　she；　〃I　am　very　sorry　if　I　have　offended　him。　



It　was　the　last　thing　I　would　willingly　have　done。　



But　do　not　be　unhappy；　Eleanor。　　An　engagement；　you　know；



must　be　kept。　　I　am　only　sorry　it　was　not　recollected　sooner；



that　I　might　have　written　home。　　But　it　is　of　very



little　consequence。〃







　　　　　〃I　hope；　I　earnestly　hope；　that　to　your　real　safety　it



will　be　of　none；　but　to　everything　else　it　is　of　the　greatest



consequence：　to　comfort；　appearance；　propriety；　to　your　family；



to　the　world。　　Were　your　friends；　the　Allens；　still　in　Bath；



you　might　go　to　them　with　comparative　ease；　a　few　hours



would　take　you　there；　but　a　journey　of　seventy　miles；



to　be　taken　post　by　you；　at　your　age；　alone；　unattended！〃







　　　　　〃Oh；　the　journey　is　nothing。　　Do　not　think　about　that。　



And　if　we　are　to　part；　a　few　hours　sooner　or　later；



you　know；　makes　no　difference。　　I　can　be　ready　by　seven。　



Let　me　be　called　in　time。〃　Eleanor　saw　that　she　wished



to　be　alone；　and　believing　it　better　for　each　that　they



should　avoid　any　further　conversation；　now　left　her　with；



〃I　shall　see　you　in　the　morning。〃







　　　　　Catherine's　swelling　heart　needed　relief。　



In　Eleanor's　presence　friendship　and　pride　had　equally



restrained　her　tears；　but　no　sooner　was　she　gone　than



they　burst　forth　in　torrents。　　Turned　from　the　house；



and　in　such　a　way！　Without　any　reason　that　could　justify；



any　apology　that　could　atone　for　the　abruptness；



the　rudeness；　nay；　the　insolence　of　it。　　Henry　at　a



distancenot　able　even　to　bid　him　farewell。　　Every　hope；



every　expectation　from　him　suspended；　at　least；　and　who　could



say　how　long？　Who　could　say　when　they　might　meet　again？



And　all　this　by　such　a　man　as　General　Tilney；　so　polite；



so　well　bred；　and　heretofore　so　particularly　fond　of　her！　It



was　as　incomprehensible　as　it　was　mortifying　and　grievous。　



From　what　it　could　arise；　and　where　it　would　end；



were　considerations　of　equal　perplexity　and　alarm。　



The　manner　in　which　it　was　done　so　grossly　uncivil；



hurrying　her　away　without　any　reference　to　her　own　convenience；



or　allowing　her　even　the　appearance　of　choice　as　to　the　time



or　mode　of　her　travelling；　of　two　days；　the　earliest　fixed　on；



and　of　that　almost　the　earliest　hour；　as　if　resolved



to　have　her　gone　before　he　was　stirring　in　the　morning；



that　he　might　not　be　obliged　even　to　see　her。　　What　could



all　this　mean　but　an　intentional　affront？　By　some　means



or　other　she　must　have　had　the　misfortune　to　offend　him。　



Eleanor　had　wished　to　spare　her　from　so　painful　a　notion；



but　Catherine　could　not　believe　it　possible　that　any　injury



or　any　misfortune　could　provoke　such　ill　will　against



a　person　not　connected；　or；　at　least；　not　supposed　to　be



connected　with　it。　







　　　　　Heavily　passed　the　night。　　Sleep；　or　repose　that



deserved　the　name　of　sleep；　was　out　of　the　question。　



That　room；　in　which　her　disturbed　imagination　had　tormented



her　on　her　first　arrival；　was　again　the　scene　of　agitated



spirits　and　unquiet　slumbers。　　Yet　how　different　now　the



source　of　her　inquietude　from　what　it　had　been　thenhow



mournfully　superior　in　reality　and　substance！　Her　anxiety



had　foundation　in　fact；　her　fears　in　probability；



and　with　a　mind　so　occupied　in　the　contemplation　of



actual　and　natural　evil；　the　solitude　of