lavender and old lace-第21章

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ellow　fields　and　hear　the　soft　melody　of　reaping　from　the　valley　around　them。　He　and　Ruth　often　walked　together；　but　Miss　Ainslie　never　would　go　with　them。　She　stayed　quietly　at　home；　as　she　had　done　for　many　years。

Every　night；　when　the　last　train　came　from　the　city；　she　put　a　lighted　candle　in　her　front　window；　using　always　the　candlestick　of　solid　silver；　covered　with　fretwork　in　intricate　design。　If　Winfield　was　there；　she　managed　to　have　him　and　Ruth　in　another　room。　At　half…past　ten；　she　took　it　away；　sighing　softly　as　she　put　out　the　light。

Ruth　wondered；　but　said　nothing；　even　to　Winfield。　The　grain　in　the　valley　was　bound　in　sheaves；　and　the　first　colour　came　on　the　maplessometimes　in　a　delicate　flush；　or　a　flash　of　gold；　and　sometimes　like　a　blood…red　wound。

One　morning；　when　Miss　Ainslie　came　downstairs；　Ruth　was　startled　at　the　change　in　her。　The　quick；　light　step　was　slow　and　heavy；　the　broad；　straight　shoulders　drooped　a　little；　and　her　face；　while　still　dimpled　and　fair；　was　subtly　different。　Behind　her　deep；　violet　eyes　lay　an　unspeakable　sadness　and　the　rosy　tints　were　gone。　Her　face　was　as　pure　and　cold　as　marble；　with　the　peace　of　the　dead　laid　upon　it。　She　seemed　to　have　grown　old　in　a　single　night。

All　day　she　said　little　or　nothing　and　would　not　eat。　She　simply　sat　still；　looking　out　of　the　east　window。　〃No；〃　she　said；　gently；　to　Ruth；　〃nothing　is　the　matter；　deary；　I'm　just　tired。〃

When　Winfield　came；　she　kept　him　away　from　Miss　Ainslie　without　seeming　to　do　so。　〃Let's　go　for　a　walk；〃　she　said。　She　tried　to　speak　lightly；　but　there　was　a　lump　in　her　throat　and　a　tightening　at　her　heart。

They　climbed　the　hill　and　took　the　side　path　which　led　to　the　woods；　following　it　down　and　through　the　aisles　of　trees；　to　the　log　across　the　path。　Ruth　was　troubled　and　sat　there　some　little　time　without　speaking；　then　suddenly；　she　knew　that　something　was　wrong　with　Carl。

Her　heart　was　filled　with　strange　foreboding　and　she　vainly　tried　to　swallow　the　persistent　lump　in　her　throat。　She　spoke　to　him；　gently；　once　or　twice　and　he　did　not　seem　to　hear。　〃Carl！〃　she　cried　in　agony；　〃Carl！　What　is　it？〃

He　tried　to　shake　off　the　spell　which　lay　upon　him。　〃Nothing；　darling；〃　he　said　unsteadily；　with　something　of　the　old　tenderness。　〃I'm　weakand　foolishthat's　all。〃

〃Carl！　Dearest！〃　she　cried；　and　then　broke　down；　sobbing　bitterly。

Her　tears　aroused　him　and　he　tried　to　soothe　her。　〃Ruth；　my　darling　girl；　don't　cry。　We　have　each　other；　sweetheart；　and　it　doesn't　matternothing　matters　in　the　whole；　wide　world。〃

After　a　little；　she　regained　her　self…control。

〃Come　out　into　the　sun；〃　he　said；　〃it's　ghostly　here。　You　don't　seem　real　to　me；　Ruth。〃

The　mist　filled　her　eyes　again。　〃Don't；　darling；〃　he　pleaded；　〃I'll　try　to　tell　you。〃

They　sat　down　on　the　hillside；　where　the　sun　shone　brightly；　and　where　they　could　see　Miss　Ainslie's　house　plainly。　She　waited；　frightened　and　suffering；　for　what　seemed　an　eternity；　before　he　spoke。

〃Last　night；　Ruth；〃　he　began；　〃my　father　came　to　me　in　a　dream。　You　know　he　died　when　I　was　about　twelve　years　old；　and　last　night　I　saw　him　as　he　would　have　been　if　he　had　lived　until　nowsomething　over　sixty。　His　hair　and　beard　were　matted　and　there　was　the　most　awful　expression　in　his　eyesit　makes　me　shudder　yet。　He　was　in　his　grave　clothes；　dead　and　yet　not　dead。　He　was　sufferingthere　was　something　he　was　trying　to　say　to　me；　something　he　wanted　to　explain。　We　were　out　here　on　the　hill　in　the　moonlight　and　I　could　see　Miss　Ainslie's　house　and　hear　the　surf　behind　the　cliff。　All　he　could　say　to　me　was：　'AbbyMaryMary　AbbysheMary；'　over　and　over　again。　Once　he　said　'mother。'　Abby　was　my　mother's　name。

〃It　is　terrible；〃　he　went　on。　〃I　can't　understand　it。　There　is　something　I　must　do；　and　I　don't　know　what　it　is。　A　command　is　laid　on　me　by　the　deadthere　is　some　wrong　for　which　I　must　atone。　When　I　first　awoke；　I　thought　it　was　a　dream；　but　it　isn't；　it's　real。　It　seems　as　though　that　was　the　real　world；　and　thisall　our　love　and　happiness；　and　you；　were　just　dreams。　I　can't　bear　it；　Ruth！〃

He　shuddered；　and　she　tried　to　comfort　him；　though　she　was　cold　as　a　marble　statue　and　her　lips　moved　with　difficulty。　〃Don't；　dear；〃　she　said；　〃It　was　only　a　dream。　I've　had　them　sometimes；　so　vividly　that　they　haunted　me　for　days　and；　as　you　say；　it　seemed　as　if　that　was　the　real　world　and　this　the　dream。　I　know　how　you　feelthose　things　aren't　pleasant；　but　there's　nothing　we　can　do。　It　makes　one　feel　so　helpless。　The　affairs　of　the　day　are　largely　under　our　control；　but　at　night；　when　the　body　is　asleep；　the　mind　harks　back　to　things　that　have　been　forgotten　for　years。　It　takes　a　fevered　fancy　as　a　fact；　and　builds　upon　it　a　whole　series　of　disasters。　It　gives　trivial　things　great　signif！cance　and　turns　life　upside　down。　Remembering　it　is　the　worst　of　all。〃

〃There's　something　I　can't　get　at；　Ruth；〃　he　answered。　〃It's　just　out　of　my　reach。　I　know　it's　reasonable　to　suppose　it　was　a　dream　and　that　it　can　be　explained　by　natural　causes；　but　I　don't　dream　very　often。〃

〃I　dream　every　night；〃　she　said。　〃Sometimes　they're　just　silly；　foolish　things　and　sometimes　they're　vivid　and　horrible　realities　that　I　can't　forget　for　weeks。　But；　surely；　dear；　we're　not　foolish　enough　to　believe　in　dreams？〃

〃No；　I　hope　not；〃　he　replied；　doubtfully。

〃Let's　go　for　a　little　walk；〃　she　said；　〃and　we'll　forget　it。〃

Then　she　told　him　how　changed　Miss　Ainslie　was　and　how　she　had　left　her；　sitting　aimlessly　by　the　window。　〃I　don't　think　I'd　better　stay　away　long；〃　she　concluded；　〃she　may　need　me。〃

〃I　won't　be　selfish；　Ruth；　we'll　go　back　now。　〃I'm　sorry　Miss　Ainslie　isn't　well。〃

〃She　said　she　was　'just　tired'　but　it　isn't　like　her　to　be　tired。　She　doesn't　seem　to　want　anybody　near　her；　but　you　can　sit　in　the　garden　this　afternoon；　if　you'd　like　to；　and　I'll　flit　in　and　out　like　an　industrious　butterfly。　Some　new　books　have　just　come；　and　I'll　leave　them　in　the　arbour　for　you。〃

〃All　right；　dear；　and　if　there's　anything　I　can　do；　I　hope　you'll　tell　me。〃

As　they　approached　the　house；　a　brisk　little　man　hurried　out　of　the　gate　and　went　toward　the　village。

〃Who's　that？〃　asked　Winfield。

〃I　don't　knowsome　one　who　has　brought　something；　probably。　I　trust　she's　better。〃

Miss　Ainslie　seemed　more　like　herself；　as　she　moved　about　the　house；　dusting　and　putting　the　rooms　in　order；　as　was　her　wont。　At　noon　she　fried　a　bit　of　chicken　for　Ruth；　but　took　nothing　herself　except　a　cup　of　tea。

〃No；　deary；〃　she　said；　in　answer　to　Ruth's　anxious　question；　〃I'm　all　rightdon't　fret　about　me。〃　　〃Have　you　any　pain；　Miss　Ainslie？〃

〃No；　of　course　I　haven't；　you　foolish　child！〃

She　tried　to　smile；　but　her　white　lips　quivered　pitifully。

In　the　afternoon；　when　she　said　she　was　cold；　Ruth　made　a　fire　in　the　open　fireplace；　and　wheeled　Miss　Ainslie's　favourite　chair　in　front　of　it。　She　drew　her　shawl　about　her　shoulders　and　leaned　back。

〃I'm　so　comfortable；　now；　she　said　drowsily；　〃I　think　I'm　going　to　sleep；　dear。〃

Ruth　sat　by　her；　pretending　to　read；　but；　in　reality；　watching　her　closely；　until　the　deep；　regular　breathing　assured　her　that　she　was　asleep。　She　went　out　into　the　garden　and　found　Winfield　in　the　arbour。

〃How's　this　patient？〃　she　asked；　kissing　him　lightly　on　the　forehead。

〃I'm　all　right；　dearest；〃　he　answered；　drawing　her　down　beside　him；　〃and　I'm　ashamed　of　myself　because　I　was　so　foolish。〃

During　the　afternoon　Ruth　made　frequent　trips　to　the　house；　each　time　finding　Miss　Ainslie　sound　asleep。　It　was　after　six　o'clock　when　she　woke　and　rubbed　her　eyes；　wonderingly。

〃How　long　have　I　been　asleep；　Ruth？〃

〃All　the　afternoon；　Miss　Ainsliedo　you　feel　better　now？〃

〃Yes；　I　think　I　do。　I　didn't　sleep　last　night；　but　it's　been　years　since　I've　taken　a　nap　in　the　daytime。〃

Ruth　invited　Carl　to　supper；　and　made　them　both　sit　still　while　she　prepared　the　simple　meal；　which；　as　he　said；　was　〃astonishingly　good。〃　He　was　quite　himself　again；　but　Miss　Ainslie；　though　trying　to　assume　her　old　manner；　had　undergone　a　great　change。

Carl　helped　Ruth　with　the　dishes；　saying　he　supposed　he　might　as　well　become　accustomed　to　it；　and；　feeling　the　need　of　s！eep；　went　home　very　early。

〃I'm　all　right；〃　he　said　to　Ruth；　as　he　kissed　her　at　the　door；　〃and　you're　just　the　sweetest　girl　in　the　world。　Good　night；　darling。〃

A　chill　mist　came　inland；　and　Ruth　kept　pine　knots　burning　in　the　fireplace。　They　sat　without　other　light；　Miss　Ainslie　with　her　head　resting　upon　her　hand；　and　Ruth　watching　her　narrowly。　Now　and　then　they　spoke　aimlessly；　of　commonplaces。

When　the　last　train　came　in；　Miss　Ainslie　raised　her　eyes　to　the　silver　candlestick　that　stood　on　the　mantel　and　sighed。

〃Shall　I　put　the　light　in　the　window？〃　asked　Ruth。

It　was　a　long　time　before　Miss　Ainslie　answered。

〃No；　deary；〃　she　said　sadly；　〃never　any　more。〃

She　was　trying　to　hide　her　suffering；　and　Ruth's　heart　ached　for　her　in　vain。　The　sound　of　the　train　died　away　in　the　distance　and　the　firelight　faded。

〃Ruth；〃　she　said；　in　a　low　voice；　〃I　am　going　away。〃

〃Away；　Miss　Ainslie？　Where？〃

〃I　don't　know；　dearit's　where　we　all　go'the　undiscovered　country　from　whose　bourne　no　traveller　returns。'　Sometimes　it's　a　long　journey　and　sometimes　a　short　one；　but　we　all　take　italoneat　the　last。〃

Ruth's　heart　throbbed　violently；　then　stood　still。

〃Don't！〃　she　cried；　sharply。

〃I'm　not　afraid；　dear；　and　I'm　ready　to　go；　even　though　you　have　made　me　so　happyyou　and　he。〃

Miss　Ainslie　waited　a　moment；　then　continued；　in　a　different　tone：

〃To…day　the　lawyer　came　and　made　my　will。　I　haven't　muchjust　this　little　house；　a　small　income　paid　semi…annually；　and　mymy　things。　All　my　things　are　for　youthe　house　and　the　income　are　forfor　him。〃

Ruth　was　crying　softly　and　Miss　Ainslie　went　to　her；　laying　her　hand　caressingly　upon　the　bowed　head。　〃Don't；　deary；〃　she　pleaded；　〃don't　be　unhappy。　I'm　not　afraid。　I'm　just　going　to　sleep；　that's　all；　to　wake　in　immortal　dawn。　I　want　you　and　him　to　have　my　things；　because　I　love　youbecause　I've　always　loved　you；　and　because　I　willeven　afterward。〃

Ruth　choked　down　her　sobs；　and　Miss　Ainslie　drew　her　chair　closer；　taking　the　girl's　cold　hand　in　hers。　That　touch；　so　strong　and　gentle；　that　had　always　brought　balm　to　her　troubled　spirit；　did　not　fail　in　its　ministry　now。

〃He　went　away；〃　said　Miss　Ainslie；　after　a　long　silence；　as　if　in　continuation　of　something　she　had　said　before；　〃and　I　was　afraid。　He　had　made　many　voyages　in　safety；　each　one　more　successful　than　the　last；　and　he　always　brought　me　beautiful　things；　but；　this　time；　I　knew　that　it　was　not　right　for　him　to　go。〃

〃When　he　came　back；　we　were　to　be　married。〃　The　firelight　shone　on　the　amethyst　ring　as　Miss　Ainslie　moved　it　on　her　finger。　　　〃He　said　that　he　would　have　no　way　of　writing　this　time；　but　that；　if　anything　happened；　I　would　know。　I　was　to　waitas　women　have　waited　since　the　world　began。

〃Oh；　Ruth；　do　you　know　what　waiting　means？　Mine　has　lasted　through　thirty…three　interminable　years。　Each　day；　I　have　said：　'he　will　come　to…morrow。'　When　the　last　train　came　in；　I　put　the　light　in　the　window　to　lead　him　straight　to　me。　Each　day；　I　have　made　the　house　ready　for　an　invited　guest　and　I　haven't　go