an unsocial socialist-第18章

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interlace　the　straps　and　hang　them　in　a　chain　over　his　shoulder。
By　the　time　he　had　done　this　the　young　ladies　were　out　of　sight；
and　his　intention　of　enjoying　their　society　during　the　return　to
the　college　was　defeated。　They　had　entered　the　building　long
before　he　came　in　sight　of　it。

Somewhat　out　of　conceit　with　his　folly；　he　went　to　the　servants'
entrance　and　rang　the　bell　there。　When　the　door　was　opened；　he
saw　Miss　Ward　standing　behind　the　maid　who　admitted　him。

〃Oh；〃　she　said；　looking　at　the　string　of　skates　as　if　she　had
hardly　expected　to　see　them　again；　〃so　you　have　brought　our
things　back？〃

〃Such　were　my　instructions；〃　he　said；　taken　aback　by　her　manner。
〃You　had　no　instructions。　What　do　you　mean　by　getting　our　skates
into　your　charge　under　false　pretences？　I　was　about　to　send　the
police　to　take　them　from　you。　How　dare　you　tell　me　that　you　were
sent　to　wait　on　me；　when　you　know　very　well　that　you　were　nothing
of　the　sort？〃

〃I　couldn't　help　it；　Miss；〃　he　replied　submissively。　〃I　am　a
natural　born　liaralways　was。　I　know　that　it　must　appear
dreadful　to　you　that　never　told　a　lie；　and　don't　hardly　know　what
a　lie　is；　belonging　as　you　do　to　a　class　where　none　is　ever　told。
But　common　people　like　me　tells　lies　just　as　a　duck　swims。　I　ask
your　pardon；　Miss；　most　humble；　and　I　hope　the　young　ladies'll　be
able　to　tell　one　set　of　skates　from　t'other；　for　I'm　blest　if　I
can。〃

〃Put　them　down。　Miss　Wilson　wishes　to　speak　to　you　before　you　go。
Susan；　show　him　the　way。〃

〃Hope　you　ain't　been　and　got　a　poor　cove　into　trouble；　Miss？〃

〃Miss　Wilson　knows　how　you　have　behaved。〃

He　smiled　at　her　benevolently　and　followed　Susan　upstairs。　On
their　way　they　met　Jane；　who　stole　a　glance　at　him；　and　was　about
to　pass　by；　when　he　said：

〃Won't　you　say　a　word　to　Miss　Wilson　for　a　poor　common　fellow；
honored　young　lady？　I　have　got　into　dreadful　trouble　for　having
made　bold　to　assist　you　this　morning。〃

〃You　needn't　give　yourself　the　pains　to　talk　like　that；〃　replied
Jane　in　an　impetuous　whisper。　〃We　all　know　that　you're　only
pretending。〃

〃Well；　you　can　guess　my　motive；〃　he　whispered；　looking　tenderly
at　her。

〃Such　stuff　and　nonsense！　I　never　heard　of　such　a　thing　in　my
life；〃　said　Jane；　and　ran　away；　plainly　understanding　that　he　had
disguised　himself　in　order　to　obtain　admission　to　the　college　and
enjoy　the　happiness　of　looking　at　her。

〃Cursed　fool　that　I　am！〃　he　said　to　himself；　〃I　cannot　act　like　a
rational　creature　for　five　consecutive　minutes。〃

The　servant　led　him　to　the　study　and　announced；　〃The　man；　if　you
please；　ma'am。〃

〃Jeff　Smilash；〃　he　added　in　explanation。

〃Come　in；〃　said　Miss　Wilson　sternly。

He　went　in；　and　met　the　determined　frown　which　she　cast　on　him
from　her　seat　behind　the　writing　table；　by　saying　courteously：

〃Good…morning；　Miss　Wilson。〃

She　bent　forward　involuntarily；　as　if　to　receive　a　gentleman。
Then　she　checked　herself　and　looked　implacable。

〃I　have　to　apologize；〃　he　said；　〃for　making　use　of　your　name
unwarrantably　this　morningtelling　a　lie；　in　fact。　I　happened　to
be　skating　when　the　young　ladies　came　down；　and　as　they　needed
some　assistance　which　they　would　hardly　have　accepted　from　a
common　manexcuse　my　borrowing　that　tiresome　expression　from　our
acquaintance　SmilashI　set　their　minds　at　ease　by　saying　that
you　had　sent　for　me。　Otherwise；　as　you　have　given　me　a　bad
characterthough　not　worse　than　I　deservethey　would　probably
have　refused　to　employ　me；　or　at　least　I　should　have　been
compelled　to　accept　payment；　which　I；　of　course；　do　not　need。〃

Miss　Wilson　affected　surprise。　〃I　do　not　understand　you；〃　she
said。

〃Not　altogether；〃　he　said　smiling。　〃But　you　understand　that　I　am
what　is　called　a　gentleman。〃

〃No。　The　gentlemen　with　whom　I　am　conversant　do　not　dress　as　you
dress；　nor　speak　as　you　speak；　nor　act　as　you　act。〃

He　looked　at　her；　and　her　countenance　confirmed　the　hostility　of
her　tone。　He　instantly　relapsed　into　an　aggravated　phase　of
Smilash。

〃I　will　no　longer　attempt　to　set　myself　up　as　a　gentleman；〃　he
said。　〃I　am　a　common　man；　and　your　ladyship's　hi　recognizes　me　as
such　and　is　not　to　be　deceived。　But　don't　go　for　to　say　that　I　am
not　candid　when　I　am　as　candid　as　ever　you　will　let　me　be。　What
fault；　if　any；　do　you　find　with　my　putting　the　skates　on　the
young　ladies；　and　carryin'　the　campstool　for　them？〃

〃If　you　are　a　gentleman；〃　said　Miss　Wilson；　reddening；　〃your
conduct　in　persisting　in　these　antics　in　my　presence　is　insulting
to　me。　Extremely　so。〃

〃Miss　Wilson；〃　he　replied；　unruffled；　〃if　you　insist　on　Smilash；
you　shall　have　Smilash；　I　take　an　insane　pleasure　in　personating
him。　If　you　want　Sidneymy　real　Christian　nameyou　can　command
him。　But　allow　me　to　say　that　you　must　have　either　one　or　the
other。　If　you　become　frank　with　me；　I　will　understand　that　you
are　addressing　Sidney。　If　distant　and　severe；　Smilash。〃

〃No　matter　what　your　name　may　be；〃　said　Miss　Wilson；　much
annoyed；　〃I　forbid　you　to　come　here　or　to　hold　any　communication
whatever　with　the　young　ladies　in　my　charge。〃

〃Why？〃

〃Because　I　choose。〃

〃There　is　much　force　in　that　reason；　Miss　Wilson；　but　it　is　not
moral　force　in　the　sense　conveyed　by　your　college　prospectus；
which　I　have　read　with　great　interest。〃

Miss　Wilson；　since　her　quarrel　with　Agatha；　had　been　sore　on　the
subject　of　moral　force。　〃No　one　is　admitted　here；〃　she　said；
〃without　a　trustworthy　introduction　or　recommendation。　A　disguise
is　not　a　satisfactory　substitute　for　either。〃

〃Disguises　are　generally　assumed　for　the　purpose　of　concealing
crime；〃　he　remarked　sententiously。

〃Precisely　so；〃　she　said　emphatically。

〃Therefore；　I　bear；　to　say　the　least；　a　doubtful　character。
Nevertheless；　I　have　formed　with　some　of　the　students　here　a
slight　acquaintance；　of　which；　it　seems；　you　disapprove。　You　have
given　me　no　good　reason　why　I　should　discontinue　that
acquaintance；　and　you　cannot　control　me　except　by　your　wisha
sort　of　influence　not　usually　effective　with　doubtful　characters。
Suppose　I　disregard　your　wish；　and　that　one　or　two　of　your　pupils
come　to　you　and　say：　'Miss　Wilson；　in　our　opinion　Smilash　is　an
excellent　fellow；　we　find　his　conversation　most　improving。　As　it
is　your　principle　to　allow　us　to　exercise　our　own　judgment；　we
intend　to　cultivate　the　acquaintance　of　Smilash。'　How　will　you
act　in　that　case？〃

〃Send　them　home　to　their　parents　at　once。〃

〃I　see　that　your　principles　are　those　of　the　Church　of　England。
You　allow　the　students　the　right　of　private　judgment　on　condition
that　they　arrive　at　the　same　conclusions　as　you。　Excuse　my　saying
that　the　principles　of　the　Church　of　England；　however　excellent；
are　not　those　your　prospectus　led　me　to　hope　for。　Your　plan　is
coercion；　stark　and　simple。〃

〃I　do　not　admit　it；〃　said　Miss　Wilson；　ready　to　argue；　even　with
Smilash；　in　defence　of　her　system。　〃The　girls　are　quite　at
liberty　to　act　as　they　please；　but　I　reserve　my　equal　liberty　to
exclude　them　from　my　college　if　I　do　not　approve　of　their
behavior。〃

〃Just　so。　In　most　schools　children　are　perfectly　at　liberty　to
learn　their　lessons　or　not；　just　as　they　please；　but　the
principal　reserves　an　equal　liberty　to　whip　them　if　they　cannot
repeat　their　tasks。〃

〃I　do　not　whip　my　pupils；〃　said　Miss　Wilson　indignantly。　〃The
comparison　is　an　outrage。〃

〃But　you　expel　them；　and；　as　they　are　devoted　to　you　and　to　the
place；　expulsion　is　a　dreaded　punishment。　Yours　is　the　old　system
of　making　laws　and　enforcing　them　by　penalties；　and　the
superiority　of　Alton　College　to　other　colleges　is　due；　not　to　any
difference　of　system；　but　to　the　comparative　reasonableness　of
its　laws　and　the　mildness　and　judgment　with　which　they　are
enforced。〃

〃My　system　is　radically　different　from　the　old　one。　However；　I
will　not　discuss　the　matter　with　you。　A　mind　occupied　with　the
prejudices　of　the　old　coercive　despotism　can　naturally　only　see
in　the　new　a　modification　of　the　old；　instead　of；　as　my　system
is；　an　entire　reversal　or　abandonment　of　it。〃

He　shook　his　head　sadly　and　said：　〃You　seek　to　impose　your　ideas
on　others；　ostracizing　those　who　reject　them。　Believe　me；　mankind
has　been　doing　nothing　else　ever　since　it　began　to　pay　some
attention　to　ideas。　It　has　been　said　that　a　benevolent　despotism
is　the　best　possible　form　of　government。　I　do　not　believe　that
saying；　because　I　believe　another　one　to　the　effect　that　hell　is
paved　with　benevolence；　which　most　people；　the　proverb　being　too
deep　for　them；　misinterpret　as　unfulfilled　intentions。　As　if　a
benevolent　despot　might　not　by　any　error　of　judgment　destroy　his
kingdom；　and　then　say；　like　Romeo　when　he　got　his　friend　killed；
'I　thought　all　for　the　best！'　Excuse　my　rambling。　I　meant　to　say；
in　short；　that　though　you　are　benevolent　and　judicious　you　are
none　the　less　a　despot。〃

Miss　Wilson；　at　a　loss　for　a　reply；　regretted　that　she　had　not；
before　letting　him　gain　so　far　on　her；　dismissed　him　summarily
instead　of　tolerating　a　discussion　which　she　did　not　know　how　to
end　with　dignity。　He　relieved　her　by　adding　unexpectedly：

〃Your　system　was　the　cause　of　my　absurd　marriage。　My　wife
acquired　a　degree　of　culture　and　reasonableness　from　her　training
here　which　made　her　seem　a　superior　being　among　the　chatterers
who　form　the　female　seasoning　in　ordinary　society。　I　admired　her
dark　eyes；　and　was　only　too　glad　to　seize　the　excuse　her
education　offered　me　for　believing　her　a　match　for　me　in　mind　as
well　as　in　body。〃

Miss　Wilson；　astonished；　determined　to　tell　him　coldly　that　her
time　was　valuable。　But　curiosity　took　possession　of　her　in　the
act　of　utterance；　and　the　words　that　came　were；　〃Who　was　she？〃

〃Henrietta　Jansenius。　She　is　Henrietta　Trefusis；　and　I　am　Sidney
Trefusis；　at　your　mercy。　I　see　I　have　aroused　your　compassion　at
last。〃

〃Nonsense！〃　said　Miss　Wilson　hastily；　for　her　surprise　was　indeed
tinged　by　a　feeling　that　he　was　thrown　away　on　Henrietta。

〃I　ran　away　from　her　and　adopted　this　retreat　and　this　disguise
in　order　to　avoid　her。　The　usual　rebuke　to　human　forethought
followed。　I　ran　straight　into　her　armsor　rather　she　ran　into
mine。　You　remember　the　scene；　and　were　probably　puzzled　by　it。〃

〃You　seem　to　think　your　marriage　contract　a　very　light　matter；
Mr。　Trefusis。　May　I　ask　whose　fault　was　the　separation？　Hers；　of
course。〃

〃I　have　nothing　to　reproach　her　with。　I　expected　to　find　her
temper　hasty；　but　it　was　not　soher　behavior　was
unexceptionable。　So　was　mine。　Our　bliss　was　perfect；　but
unfortunately；　I　was　not　made　for　domestic　blissat　all　events　I
could　not　endure　itso　I　fled；　and　when　she　caught　me　again　I
could　give　no　excuse　for　my　flight；　though　I　made　it　clear　to　her
that　I　would　not　resume　our　connubial　relations　just　yet。　We
parted　on　bad　terms。　I　fully　intended　to　write　her　a　sweet　letter
to　make　her　forgive　me　in　spite　of　herself；　but　somehow　the　weeks
have　slipped　away　and　I　am　still　fully　intending。　She　has　never
written；　and　I　have　never　written。　This　is　a　pretty　state　of
things；　isn't　it；　Miss　Wilson；　after　all　her　advantages　under　the
influence　of　moral　force　and　the　movement　for　the　higher
education　of　women？〃

〃By　your　own　admission；　the　fault　seems　to　lie　upon　your　moral
training　a