told after supper(晚饭后的一席话)-第6章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
over a month。 The spirits will not harm me。 I may even do them some
little good； and induce them to be quiet and go away。 Besides； I should
like to see the show。〃
Saying which； I sat down again。 （How Mr。 Coombes came to be in
my chair； instead of at the other side of the room； where he had been all
the evening； and why he never offered to apologise when I sat right down
on top of him； and why young Biffles should have tried to palm himself
off upon me as my Uncle John； and induced me； under that erroneous
impression； to shake him by the hand for nearly three minutes； and tell
him that I had always regarded him as father；are matters that； to this day；
I have never been able to fully understand。）
They tried to dissuade me from what they termed my foolhardy
enterprise； but I remained firm； and claimed my privilege。 I was 'the
guest。' 'The guest' always sleeps in the haunted chamber on Christmas
Eve； it is his perquisite。
They said that if I put it on that footing； they had； of course； no answer；
and they lighted a candle for me； and accompanied me upstairs in a body。
Whether elevated by the feeling that I was doing a noble action； or
animated by a mere general consciousness of rectitude； is not for me to say；
but I went upstairs that night with remarkable buoyancy。 It was as much as
I could do to stop at the landing when I came to it； I felt I wanted to go on
up to the roof。 But； with the help of the banisters； I restrained my
27
… Page 28…
TOLD AFTER SUPPER
ambition； wished them all good… night； and went in and shut the door。
Things began to go wrong with me from the very first。 The candle
tumbled out of the candlestick before my hand was off the lock。 It kept
on tumbling out of the candlestick； and every time I picked put it up and
put it in； it tumbled out again： I never saw such a slippery candle。 I
gave up attempting to use the candlestick at last； and carried the candle
about in my hand； and； even then； it would not keep upright。 So I got
wild and threw it out of window； and undressed and went to bed in the
dark。
I did not go to sleep；I did not feel sleepy at all；I lay on my back；
looking up at the ceiling； and thinking of things。 I wish I could
remember some of the ideas that came to me as I lay there； because they
were so amusing。 I laughed at them myself till the bed shook。 I had
been lying like this for half an hour or so； and had forgotten all about the
ghost； when； on casually casting my eyes round the room； I noticed for the
first time a singularly contented…looking phantom； sitting in the easy…chair
by the fire； smoking the ghost of a long clay pipe。
I fancied for the moment； as most people would under similar
circumstances； that I must be dreaming。 I sat up； and rubbed my eyes。
No！ It was a ghost； clear enough。 I could see the back of the chair
through his body。 He looked over towards me； took the shadowy pipe
from his lips； and nodded。
The most surprising part of the whole thing to me was that I did not
feel in the least alarmed。 If anything； I was rather pleased to see him。 It
was company。
I said； 〃Good evening。 It's been a cold day！〃
He said he had not noticed it himself； but dared say I was right。
We remained silent for a few seconds； and then； wishing to put it
pleasantly； I said； 〃I believe I have the honour of addressing the ghost of
the gentleman who had the accident with the wait？〃
He smiled； and said it was very good of me to remember it。 One wait
was not much to boast of； but still； every little helped。
I was somewhat staggered at his answer。 I had expected a groan of
remorse。 The ghost appeared； on the contrary； to be rather conceited over
28
… Page 29…
TOLD AFTER SUPPER
the business。 I thought that； as he had taken my reference to the wait so
quietly； perhaps he would not be offended if I questioned him about the
organ…grinder。 I felt curious about that poor boy。
〃Is it true；〃 I asked； 〃that you had a hand in the death of that Italian
peasant lad who came to the town once with a barrel…organ that played
nothing but Scotch airs？〃
He quite fired up。 〃Had a hand in it！〃 he exclaimed indignantly。
〃Who has dared to pretend that he assisted me？ I murdered the youth
myself。 Nobody helped me。 Alone I did it。 Show me the man who
says I didn't。〃
I calmed him。 I assured him that I had never； in my own mind；
doubted that he was the real and only assassin； and I went on and asked
him what he had done with the body of the cornet…player he had killed。
He said； 〃To which one may you be alluding？〃
〃Oh； were there any more then？〃 I inquired。
He smiled； and gave a little cough。 He said he did not like to appear
to be boasting； but that； counting trombones； there were seven。
〃Dear me！〃 I replied； 〃you must have had quite a busy time of it； one
way and another。〃
He said that perhaps he ought not to be the one to say so； but that
really； speaking of ordinary middle…society； he thought there were few
ghosts who could look back upon a life of more sustained usefulness。
He puffed away in silence for a few seconds； while I sat watching him。
I had never seen a ghost smoking a pipe before； that I could remember；
and it interested me。
I asked him what tobacco he used； and he replied； 〃The ghost of cut
cavendish； as a rule。〃
He explained that the ghost of all the tobacco that a man smoked in
life belonged to him when he became dead。 He said he himself had
smoked a good deal of cut cavendish when he was alive； so that he was
well supplied with the ghost of it now。
I observed that it was a useful thing to know that； and I made up my
mind to smoke as much tobacco as ever I could before I died。
I thought I might as well start at once； so I said I would join him in a
29
… Page 30…
TOLD AFTER SUPPER
pipe； and he said； 〃Do； old man〃； and I reached over and got out the
necessary paraphernalia from my coat pocket and lit up。
We grew quite chummy after that； and he told me all his crimes。 He
said he had lived next door once to a young lady who was learning to play
the guitar； while a gentleman who practised on the bass… viol lived
opposite。 And he； with fiendish cunning； had introduced these two
unsuspecting young people to one another； and had persuaded them to
elope with each other against their parents' wishes； and take their musical
instruments with them； and they had done so； and； before the honeymoon
was over； SHE had broken his head with the bass…viol； and HE had tried to
cram the guitar down her throat； and had injured her for life。
My friend said he used to lure muffin…men into the passage and then
stuff them with their own wares till they burst and died。 He said he had
quieted eighteen that way。
Young men and women who recited long and dreary poems at evening
parties； and callow youths who walked about the streets late at night；
playing concertinas； he used to get together and poison in batches of ten；
so as to save expense； and park orators and temperance lecturers he used
to shut up six in a small room with a glass of water and a collection…box
apiece； and let them talk each other to death。
It did one good to listen to him。
I asked him when he expected the other ghoststhe ghosts of the wait
and the cornet…player； and the German band that Uncle John had
mentioned。 He smiled； and said they would never come again； any of
them。
I said； 〃Why； isn't it true； then； that they meet you here every
Christmas Eve for a row？〃
He replied that it WAS true。 Every Christmas Eve； for twenty…five
years； had he and they fought in that room； but they would never trouble
him nor anybody else again。 One by one； had he laid them out； spoilt；
and utterly useless for all haunting purposes。 He had finished off the last
German…band ghost that very evening； just before I came upstairs； and had
thrown what was left of it out through the slit between the window…sashes。
He said it would never be worth calling a ghost again。
30
… Page 31…
TOLD AFTER SUPPER
〃I suppose you will still come yourself； as usual？〃 I said。 〃They
would be sorry to miss you； I know。〃
〃Oh； I don't know；〃 he replied； 〃there's nothing much to come for now。
Unless；〃 he added kindly； 〃YOU are going to be here。 I'll come if you
will sleep here next Christmas Eve。〃
〃I have taken a liking to you；〃 he continued； 〃you don't fly off；
screeching； when you see a party； and your hair doesn't stand on end。
You've no idea；〃 he said； 〃how sick I am of seeing people's hair standing
on end。〃
He said it irritated him。
Just then a slight noise reached us from the yard below； and he started
and turned deathly black。
〃You are ill；〃 I cried； springing towards him； 〃tell me the best thing to
do for you。 Shall I drink some brandy； and give you the ghost of it？〃
He remained silent； listening intently for a moment； and then he gave a
sigh of relief； and the shade came back to his cheek。
〃It's all right；〃 he murmured； 〃I was afraid it was the cock。〃
〃Oh； it's too early for that；〃 I said。 〃Why； it's only the middle of the
night。〃
〃Oh； that doesn't make any difference to those cursed chickens；〃 h
