远大前程-第3章

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I　knocked　at　the　door　and　was　told　to　enter．I　found　myself　in　a　large　room，where　the　curtains　were　closed　to　allow　no　daylight　in，and　the　candles　were　lit．In　the　centre　of　the　room，sitting　at　a　table，was　the　strangest　lady　I　have　ever　seen，or　shall　ever　see．She　was　wearing　a　wedding　dress　made　of　rich　material．She　had　a　bride's　flowers　in　her　hair，but　her　hair　was　white．There　were　suitcases　full　of　dresses　and　Jewels　around　her，ready　for　a　journey．She　only　had　one　white　shoe　on．‘Then　I　realized　that　over　the　years　the　white　wedding　dress　had　become　yellow，and　the　flowers　in　her　hair　had　died，and　the　bride　inside　the　dress　had　grown　old．Everything　in　the　room　was　ancient　and　dying．The　only　brightness　in　the　room　was　in　her　dark　old　eyes，that　stared　at　me．

‘Who　are　you？’said　the　lady　at　the　table．

‘Pip，madam．Mr　Pumblechook's　boy．Come…to　play．’

‘Come　close．Let　me　look　at　you．’As　I　stood　in　front　of　＊her，I　noticed　that　her　watch　and　a　clock　in　the　room　had　both　stopped　at　twenty　minutes　to　nine．

‘You　aren't　afraid　of　a　woman　who　has　never　seen　the　sun　since　you　were　born？’asked　Miss　Havisham．

I　am　sorry　to　say　I　told　a　huge　lie　by　saying，‘No．’

‘Do　you　know　what　ths　is？’she　asked，putting　her　hand　on　her　left　side．

‘Yes，madam．’It　made　me　think　of　my　convict's　travel…ling　companion．‘Your　heart，madam，’I　added．

‘My　heart！Broken！’she　cried　almost　proudly，with　a　strange　smile．Then　she　said，‘I　am　tired．I　want　to　see　some…thing　different．Play．’

No　order　could　be　more　difficult　to　obey　in　that　house　and　that　room．I　was　desperate　enough　to　consider　rushing　round　the　table　pretending　to　be　Pumblechook's　carriage，but　I　could　not　make　myself　do　it，and　just　stood　there　helplessly．

‘I'm　very　sorry，madam，’I　said，‘my　sister　will　be　very　angry　with　me　if　you　complain，but　I　can't　play　just　now．Everything　is　so　strange，and　new，and　sad…’I　stopped，afraid　to　say　more．Miss　Havisham　looked　down　at　her　dress，and　then　at　her　face　in　the　mirror　on　the　table．

‘So　strange　to　him，so　well…known　to　me，’she　whispered．

‘So　new　to　him，so　old　to　me．And　so　sad　to　us　both！Call　Es…tella！’

When　Estella　finally　came，with　her　candle，along　the　dark　passage，Miss　Havisham　picked　up　a　jewel　from　her　table　and　put　it　in　Estella's　hair．‘Very　pretty，my　dear．It　will　be　yours　one　day．Now　let　me　see　you　play　cards　with　this　boy．’

‘With　this　boy！But　he's　a　common　working　boy！’

I　thought　I　heard　Miss　Havisham　whisper，‘Well！You　can　break　his　heart！’She　sat，like　a　dead　body　ready　for　the　grave，watching　us　play　cards　in　the　candle…light．I　almost　wondered　if　she　was　afraid　that　daylight　would　turn　her　into　dust．

‘What　coarse　hands　this　boy　has！And　what　thick　boots！’cried　Estella　in　disgust，before　we　had　finished　our　first　game．I　was　suddenly　aware　that　what　she　said　was　true．

‘What　do　you　think　of　her？’　Whispered　Miss　Havisham　to　me．

‘I　think　she's　very　proud，’I　whispered　back．

‘Anything　else？’

‘I　think　she's　very　pretty．’

‘Anything　else？’

‘I　think　she's　very　rude．And…and　I'd　like　to　go　home．’

‘And　never　see　her　again，although　she's　so　pretty？’

‘I　don't　know．I'd…I'd　like　to　go　home　now．’

Miss　Havisham　smiled．‘You　can　go　home．Come　again　in　six　days'time．Estella，give　him　some　food．GO，Pip．’

And　so　I　found　myself　back　in　the　overgrown　garden　in　the　bright　daylight．Estella　put　some　bread　and　meat　down　on　the　ground　for　me，like　a　dog．I　was　so　offended　by　her　behaviour　towards　me　that　tears　came　to　my　eyes．As　soon　as　she　saw　this，She　gave　a　delighted　laugh，and　pushed　me　out　of　the　gate．I　walked　the　four　miles　home　to　the　forge，thinking　about　all　I　had　seen．As　I　looked　sadly　at　my　hands　and　boots，I　remembered　that　I　was　only　a　common　working　boy，and　wished　I　could　be　different．

My　sister　was　curious　to　know　all　the　details　of　my　visit，and　kept　asking　me　question　after　question．Somehow　I　felt　I　could　not，or　did　not　want　to，explain　about　Miss　Havisham　and　her　strange　house．I　knew　my　sister　would　not　understand．And　the　worst　of　it　was，that　old　fool　Pumblechook　arrived　at　tea…time，to　ask　more　questions．Just　looking　at　his　fishy　staring　eyes　and　open　mouth　made　me　want　to　keep　silent．

‘Leave　this　boy　to　me，madam，’he　told　Mrs　Joe．‘I'll　make　him　concentrate．Now，boy，what's　forty…three　and　seventy…two？’

‘I　don't　know，’I　said．I　didn't　care，either．

‘Is　it　eighty…five，for　example？’he　joked．

‘Yes！’I　answered，although　I　knew　it　wasn't．My　sister　hit　me　hard　on　the　head．

‘Boy！’he　continued．‘Describe　Miss　Havisham．’

‘Very　tall　and　dark，’I　said，lying．

‘Is　she，uncle？’asked　my　sister　eagerly．

‘Oh　yes，’answered　Mr　Pumblechook．So　I　knew　immediately　that　he　had　never　seen　her．‘This　is　the　way　to　get　information　from　this　boy，’he　added　quietly　to　Mrs　Joe．

‘How　well　you　make　him　obey　you，uncle！’said　Mrs　Joe．

‘　Now，boy！What　was　she　doing　when　you　arrived？’

‘She　was　sitting　in　a　black　carriage，’I　replied．

Mr　Pumblechook　and　Mrs　Joe　stared　at　each　other．‘In　a　black　carriage？’they　repeated．

‘Yes，’I　said，becoming　more　confident．‘And　Miss　Estella，her　niece，I　think，handed　in　gold　plates　with　cake　and　wine　through　the　windows．

‘Was　anybody　else　there？’asked　Mr　Pumblechook．

‘Four　dogs，huge　ones．They　ate　meat　out　of　a　silver　basket．’

‘Where　was　this　carriage，boy？’

‘In　her　room．But　there　weren't　any　horses．’

‘Can　this　be　possible，uncle？’asked　Mrs　Joe．

‘She's　a　strange　woman，madam．It's　quite　possible．What　did　you　play　at，boy？’

We　played　with　flags，’I　answered．What　lies　I　was　telling！‘Estella　waved　a　blue　one，and　I　had　a　red　one，and　Miss　Havisham　waved　one　with　little　gold　stars　on，out　of　the　carriage　window．’

Fortunately　they　asked　no　more　questions，and　were　still　discussing　the　wonderful　things　I　had　seen，when　Joe　came　in　from　the　forge．When　I　saw　his　blue　eyes　open　wide　in　surprise，I　felt　very　sorry　I　had　lied，and　that　evening，as　soon　as　I　found　Joe　alone　for　a　moment，I　confessed　to　him　that　I　had　lied　about　my　visit　to　Miss　Havisham．

‘Is　none　of　it　true，Pip？’he　asked，shocked．‘No　black　carriage　？　But　at　least　there　were　dogs，　weren't　there，Pip？No？Not　even　one　dog？’

‘No，Joe，I'm　sorry．’

‘Pip，old　boy！’His　kind　face　looked　very　unhappy．‘If　you　tell　lies，where　do　you　think　you'll　go　when　you　die？’

‘I　know，Joe，it's　terrible．I　don't　know　what　happened．Oh　I　wish　I　didn't　have　such　thick　boots　and　such　coarse　hands！I'm　so　miserable，Joe．That　beautiful　young　lady　at　Miss　Havisham's　said　I　was　common．And　I　know　I　am！Somehow　that　made　me　tell　lies．’　‘One　thing　to　remember，Pip，’　said　Joe，lighting　his　pipe　slowly，‘is　that　lies　are　always　wrong．You　can't　stop　being　common　by　telling　lies．That's　not　the　way　to　do　it．And　you're　learning　all　the　time，Pip！Look　at　that　letter　you　wrote　me　last　night！Even　the　King　had　to　start　learning　at　the　beginning；　didn't　he？That　reminds　me，any　flags　at　Miss　Havisham's？No？That's　a　pity．Look　here，Pip，this　is　a　true　friend　speaking　to　you．Take　my　advice．No　more　lies，live　well；　and　die　happy。’

Encouraged　by　Joe's　honest　words　I　went　to　bed，but　I　couldn't　stop　myself　thinking　that　Estella　would　consider　Joe's　boots　too　thick　and　his　hands　too　coarse，and　our　whole　family　common．That　was　a　day　I　shall　never　forget．

　　



　


4　　A　present　from　a　stranger

　　

I　desperately　wanted　to　be　accepted　by　Estella．I　realized　I　could　never　become　well…educated　just　by　attending　old　Mrs　Wopsle's　evening　school，so　I　asked　Mr　Wopsle's　cousin　Biddy　to　teach　me　everything　she　knew．She　helped　me　as　much　as　she　could，but　I　knew　it　would　take　a　long　time　to　reach　Estella's　level．

One　evening　I　went　to　fetch　Joe　from　the　village　pub；　where　my　sister　sometimes　allowed　him　to　smoke　his　pipe　and　have　a　beer．Mr　Wopsle　and　Joe　were　sitting　with　a　stranger，a　man　I'd　never　seen　before．One　of　his　eyes　was　half　closed；and　he　wore　a　big　hat　which　covered　most　of　his　head．He　suddenly　looked　interested　when　I　arrived，and　rubbed　his　leg　in　a　rather　strange　way．He　had　just　ordered　hot　rum　for　the　three　of　them．

‘It'　s　lonely　country　round　here，gentlemen，’he　said．‘Yes，’said　Joe，‘just　marshes　down　to　the　river．’

Do　people　ever　spend　the　night　on　the　marshes？’

‘No，’‘replied　Joe，‘except　an　escaped　prisoner　sometimes．Difficult　to　find，they　are．Went　out　to　look　for　one　once，me，and　Mr　Wopsle，and　young　Pip　here．Didn't　we，Pip？’

‘Yes，Joe。’

The　stranger　looked　at　me　with　his　good　eye．

‘What's　his　name？Pip？Your　son，is　he？’

‘The　boy　is　the　blacksmith's　wife's　brother，’explained　Mr　Wopsle　in　his　official　church　clerk's　voice．

When　the　drinks　arrived，the　stranger　did　something　that　he　wanted　nobody　to　see　except　me。　He　mixed　his　hot　rum　and　water，not　with　a　spoon，but　with　a　file，which　he　put　back　in　his　pocket　when　he　had　finished．As　soon　as　I　saw　the　file，I　knew　it　was　the　one　I　had　stolen　from　Joe，and　I　knew　that　this　man　knew　my　convict。　I　stared　at　him　in　horror。

The　men　continued　their　conversation　in　a　friendly　way　until　Joe　stood　up　to　leave，and　took　my　hand．

‘Wait　a　moment，'I　said　the　stranger．‘I'd　like　to　give　the　boy　something，'and　wrapping　a　coin　in　some　old　paper　from　his　pocket，handed　it　to　me。　‘That'　s　yours！he　told　me，giving　me　a　look　full　of　meaning　。

‘Thank　you，sir，'I　said，still　staring　at　him．Together　Joe　and　I　walked　home，Joe　with　his　mouth　open　all　the　way　so　that　my　sister　would　not　notice　the　smell　of　rum　on　his　breath　。

But　when　we　arrived　home，we　found　the　stranger　had　giv…en　me　two　Pound　notes　as　well　as　the　coin．My　sister　thought　it　must　have　been　a　mistake，and　kept　the　pound　notes　in　case　he　came　back　for　them．But　I　knew　they　came　from　my　con－vict，and　I　felt　that　having　criminal　friends　made　me　more　common　than　ever。

The　next　time　I　went　to　Miss　Havisham's，I　was　shown　in－to　a　different　room　to　wait。　Several　ladies　and　gentlemen，relations　of　hers，were　there。　They　all　turned　and　looked　at　me　in　disgust　when　I　was　the　first　to　be　called　by　Estella．

As　Estella　was　leading　me　along　the　dark　passages，she　stopped　suddenly　and　put　her　face　close　to　mine．

‘Look　at　me，boy！Am　I　pretty？'

‘Yes，I　think　you're　very　pretty．'

‘Am　I　rude　to　you？'

‘Not　as　much　as　last　time．'

She　hit　my　face　as　hard　as　she　could。

‘Now，you　coarse　little　boy，what　do　you　think　of　me？’

‘I　won't　tell　you．’

‘Why　don't　you　cry　again，you　fool？'

‘Because　I'll　never　cry　for　you　again，'I　said，which　was　a　very　false　promise，because　I　was　crying　inside　at　the　time，and　only　I　know　how　much　I　cried　for　her　later．

On　our　way　upstairs　we　met　a　gentleman　coming　down　in　the　dark．He　was　a　large，heavy　man，with　a　very　dark　skin，sharp　eyes，and　a　huge　head，almost　bald　on　the　top．His　hands　smelt　strongly　of　perfumed　soap．I　didn't　know　then　how　important　he　would　ha　later　on　in　my　life。　‘Who's　this？’he　asked　Estella，stopping　to　look　at　me。　‘A　local　boy。　Miss　Hav