远大前程-第8章

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rk．I　know　I'm　stupid，　but　I　think　I've　understood　this　at　last．　And　so　God　bless　you，　Pip，　dear　old　boy，　God　bless　you！’

His　words，　spoken　simply　and　from　the　heart，touched　me　deeply．　By　the　time　I　had　managed　to　control　my　tears，　and　looked　round　for　him，　he　had　gone．

I　decided　to　visit　Miss　Havisham　as　soon　as　possible．　Next　day，　when　I　arrived　to　take　my　seat　on　the　coach　to　our　town，I　discovered　I　was　sitting　in　front　of　two　convicts，　who　were　being　taken　to　the　prison…ships　by　their　guard．The　prisoners　wore　handcuffs，　and　iron　chains　on　their　legs．　With　horror　I　suddenly　recognized　one　of　them－it　was　the　man　in　our　village　pub　who　had　given　me　the　two　pound　notes！　and　strangely　enough，　during　the　journey　I　heard　the　prisoners　talking　about　it．

‘So　Magwitch　asked　you　to　give　the　boy　two　pounds？Trusted　you　to　do　it？’

‘That's　right．And　I　did　what　he　asked．The　boy　had　helped　him，　you　see．　Fed　him，　and　kept　his　secret．’

‘What　happened　to　Magwitch　in　the　end？’

‘They　sent　him　to　Australia　for　life，　because　he　tried　to　es…cape　from　the　prison－ship．’

I　knew　I　looked　so　different　that　he　would　not　recognize　me，　but　I　was　afraid　all　the　same．　All　the　horror　of　my　child－hood　experience　with　the　escaped　convict　had　come　back　to　me，　just　when　I　thought　it　was　safe　to　forget　it．

But　once　we　had　arrived，and　I　was　on　my　way　to　Miss　Havisham's　house，I　thought　only　of　my　bright　future．She　had　adopted　Estella，she　had　more　or　less　adopted　me．　She　perhaps　wanted　me　to　inherit　the　dark　old　house　and　to　marry　Estella．　But　even　though　I　was　in　love，　I　didn't　hide　from　myself　the　fact　that　I　would　be　unhappy　with　Estella．　I　loved　her　because　I　couldn't　stop　myself　loving　her．

I　was　surprised　to　see　Orlick　opening　the　gate　to　me．

‘So　you　aren't　working　for　Joe　any　longer？’I　asked．

‘As　you　see，　young　master，’he　said　rudely．

I　knew　he　could　not　be　trusted，　and　I　decided　to　tell　Mr　Jaggers　that　Orlick　was　not　responsible　enough　to　work　for　Miss　Havisham．　Mr　Jaggers　would　probably　send　him　away．

When　I　entered　Miss　Havisham's　room，　there　was　a　well－dressed　lady　sitting　with　her．　When　she　lifted　her　head　and　looked　at　me，　I　realized　it　was　Estella．　She　had　become　so　beautiful　that　I　felt　very　distant　from　her．　In　spite　of　all　my　education，　I　still　seemed　to　be　the　coarse，　common　boy　she　used　to　laugh　at．

‘She's　changed　very　much，hasn't　she，　Pip？’　asked　Miss　Havisham，　laughing　wickedly．I　replied　confusedly．　I　could　see　that　Estella　was　still　proud，　and　I　knew　that　it　was　she　who　made　me　feel　ashamed　of　home，　and　Joe，but　I　also　knew　that　I　could　never　stop　loving　her．

She　and　I　walked　in　the　ancient　garden，　talking　quietly　about　our　childhood　meetings．Now　that　we　were　adults，　she　seemed　to　accept　me　as　a　friend．I　could　not　have　been　happier．　I　felt　sure　Miss　Havisham　had　chosen　us　for　each　other．　What　a　fool　I　was！

Suddenly　she　stopped　and　turned　to　me．‘Miss　Havisham　may　want　us　to　spend　more　time　together　in　future．　But　in　that　case　I　must　warn　you　that　I　have　no　heart．I　can　never　fall　in　love．’

‘I　can't　believe　that，’　I　replied．　As　she　looked　straight　at　me，　I　recognized　something　in　her　face．　Had　I　seen　that　ex－pression　recently，on　another　woman？

When　we　went　back　to　the　house，Miss　Havisham　spoke　to　me　alone．‘Do　you　admire　her，　Pip？’　she　asked　eagerly．

‘Everbody　who　sees　her　must　admire　her．’

She　pulled　my　head　down　to　hers　with　her　bony　arm　and　whispered，‘Love　her，love　her，love　her！If　she　likes　you，love　her！　If　she　hurts　you，　love　her！　If　she　tears　your　heart　to　pieces，love　her！’I　could　feel　the　muscles　on　her　thin　arm　round　my　neck．　She　seemed　so　angry　that　she　could　have　been　talking　about　hate，　or　revenge，　or　death，　rather　than　love．

　　



　



10　　Pip　and　Herbert　talk　about　love

　　

I　returned　to　London，　dreaming　of　the　beautiful　girl，　now　a　woman，　who　had　so　influenced　my　childhood，and　who，　I　hoped，　would　share　my　future　life．　I　am　sorry　to　say　I　did　not　think　about　dear，　good　Joe　at　all．　I　felt　I　had　to　ex－press　my　feelings　to　someone，　and　so　that　evening　I　told　Herbert　my　secret．

Instead　of　being　surprised，　as　I　expected，　my　friend　replied，

‘I　know　that　already，　Handel．You　never　told　me，　but　it　was　obvious．You've　always　loved　Estella．It's　very　lucky　that　you　seem　to　have　been　chosen　to　marry　her．Does　she，　er，admire　you？’

I　shook　my　head　sadly．‘Not　at　all．　And　Herbert，　you　may　think　me　lucky．I　have　great　expectations，I　know．But　all　that　depends　on　one　person！　And　I　still　don't　really　know　how　much　I'll　receive，　or　when！　Nothing　is　certain！’

‘Now，　Handel，’said　Herbert　cheerfully，‘don't　lose　hope．Mr　Jaggers　himself　told　you　you　would　have　a　large　fortune，didn't　he？　He　would　never　make　a　mistake　about　something　like　that．Anyway，　you'll　be　twenty－one　soon．Perhaps　you'll　discover　more　then．’

‘Thank　you，Herbert！’　I　said，　feeling　much　better．

‘But　I　want　to　ask　you　something，　my　dear　Handel，’said　Herbert，looking　serious　for　once．‘Think　of　Estella，　and　her　education，　and　how　unhappy　you　may　be　with　her．Couldn't　you　possibly…and　I'm　saying　this　as　a　friend，　remember…couldn't　you　forget　about　her？’

‘I　know　you're　right，　Herbert，’I　said　miserably，‘but　I　can　never　stop　loving　her．’

‘Well，　never　mind！’said　Herbert．‘Now　I　have　something　to　tell　you　myself．　I　am　engaged．’

‘May　I　ask　the　young　lady's　name？’

‘Clara．Her　mother's　dead，　and　she　lives　with　her　father．We　must　keep　our　feelings　for　each　other　secret，　because　I　haven't　enough　money　to　marry　her　yet．　As　soon　as　I　start　in－suring　ships　we　can　marry．’Herbert　tried　to　look　hopeful　about　his　future，　but　this　time　he　couldn't　even　manage　his　usual　cheerful　smile．

One　day　I　received　a　letter　which　made　my　heart　beat　fast．

‘I　am　coming　to　London　the　day　after　tomorrow　by　the　mid…day　coach．Miss　Havisham　wants　you　to　meet　me．

Estella．’

If　there　had　been　time，I　would　have　ordered　several　new　suits．I　ate　nothing　until　the　day　arrived，　and　all　morning　I　waited　impatiently　for　the　coach．She　seemed　more　beautiful　than　ever，　and　her　manner　to　me　was　very　pleasant，　as　I　took　her　to　the　house　in　London　where　Miss　Havisham　had　arranged　for　her　to　stay．　Her　life　seemed　to　be　planned　by　Miss　Havisham　right　down　to　the　smallest　detail．I　only　hoped　I　was　part　of　that　plan．

　　



　



11　　Pip　attends　a　burial

　　

One　evening　a　black－edged　envelope　was　delivered　to　me　at　Herbert's　rooms．　The　letter　inside　informed　me　that　Mrs　J．Gargery　had　died　the　previous　Monday，and　that　the　burial　would　be　next　Monday，　at　3　p．m．This　news　came　as　a　shock　to　me．It　was　the　first　time　that　someone　close　to　me　had　died，　and　I　could　not　imagine　life　without　my　sister，even　if　I　had　never　loved　her，　or　even　thought　about　her　recently．

I　arrived　at　the　forge　early　on　Monday　afternoon．　Joe　was　sitting　in　the　front　room，　wrapped　in　a　black　cloak．

‘Dear　Joe，how　are　you？’I　asked．

‘Pip，dear　old　boy，　you　knew　her　when　she　was　a　fine　woman…’and　he　could　say　no　more．

Biddy，　in　her　neat　little　black　dress，　was　busy　serving　food．Old　friends　from　the　village　were　talking　quietly　among　them…selves，　and　I　noticed　the　awful　Pumblechook　trying　to　catch　my　eye，　as　he　drank　brandy　and　swallowed　large　pieces　of　cake．

‘May　I，my　dear　sir？　May　I？’he　asked，　his　mouth　full，and　shook　my　hand　enthusiastically．

My　sister's　dead　body　was　carried　slowly　out　of　the　house　and　through　the　village，　followed　by　all　of　us．We　could　see　the　marshes，　and　the　sails　of　ships　on　the　river．And　there，in　the　churchyard，next　to　my　unknown　parents，my　poor　sister　was　laid　quietly　in　the　earth，while　the　birds　sang　and　the　clouds　danced　in　the　sky．

Biddy，Joe　and　I　felt　better　when　all　the　guests　had　gone，and　we　had　a　quiet　supper　together．I　decided　to　spend　the　night　at　the　forge，which　pleased　Joe　very　much．I　was　pleased　with　myself　for　offering　to　do　so．

I　waited　until　I　found　Biddy　alone．Then　I　said，‘I　suppose　you　won't　be　able　to　stay　here　now，will　you，Biddy？’

‘No，Mr　Pip．I'll　stay　in　the　village，but　I'll　still　look　after　Mr　Gargery　as　much　as　I　can．’

‘How　are　you　going　to　live，Biddy？If　you　want　any　money—　’

‘I'm　going　to　be　the　village　schoolteacher，’she　said　quickly，her　cheeks　pink．‘I　can　earn　my　own　money．’

‘Tell　me，Biddy，how　did　my　sister　die？’　‘She　had　been　worse　than　usual，when　one　evening　she　said，very　clearly，“Joe．”　And　so　I　ran　to　the　forge　to　fetch　him．And　she　put　her　arms　round　his　neck　and　laid　her　head　on　his　shoulder，quite　happy．Once　she　said“sorry”，and　once　“Pip”．She　never　lifted　her　head　up　again，and　an　hour　later　she　died．’

Biddy　cried，and　I　cried　too．　‘What　happened　to　Orlick，Biddy？’　‘He's　still　in　the　village．He　doesn't　work　for　Miss　Havisham　any　more．You　know，he－he　follows　me　sometimes．’

‘You　must　tell　me　if　he　bothers　you，Biddy．I'll　be　here　more　often　now．I'm　not　going　to　leave　poor　Joe　alone．’

Biddy　said　nothing．　‘Come，Biddy，what　do　you　mean　by　this　silence？’

‘Are　you　quite　sure，then，that　you　will　come　to　see　him？’　‘Oh　Biddy！’I　said　sadly．‘This　really　is　a　bad　side　to　your　character！　Don't　say　any　more！’And　that　evening　I　thought　how　unkind，how　unjust，Biddy　was　to　me．

Next　morning　I　looked　in　at　the　forge　before　leaving，and　said　goodbye　to　Joe，who　was　already　hard　at　work．　‘I　shall　be　back　to　see　you　soon，Joe！’

‘Never　too　soon，sir，’said　Joe，‘and　never　too　often，Pip！’

As　I　walked　away，I　think　I　knew　that　I　would　not　go　back．Biddy　was　right．

In　London，I　did　some　serious　thinking．I　could　see　that　my　character　had　not　improved　since　I　had　heard　about　my　expectations．I　was　spending　far　too　much　money．What　was　worse，I　was　a　bad　influence　on　Herbert，who　was　also　spend－ing　too　much．I　would　have　offered　to　pay　his　bills，but　he　was　too　proud　to　listen　to　such　a　suggestion．I　had　hoped　that　on　my　twenty－first　birthday　I　would　discover　more　about　my　future，but　Mr　Jaggers　explained　that　he　could　not　give　me　any　more　information，except　that　from　now　on　I　would　have　five　hundred　pounds　a　year　to　spend　as　I　liked．I　suddenly　thought　of　a　way　I　could　help　Herbert．

When　l　asked　Wemmick　if　he　could　advise　me　on　how　to　help　a　friend　start　up　in　business，his　post…box　mouth　opened　wide．

‘Choose　one　of　the　six　London　bridges，’he　said，‘and　throw　your　money　over　it．That's　better　than　investing　money　for　a　friend．That's　my　official　opinion，of　course．’

‘Ah，so　you　would　give　me　a　different　opinion　at　Walworth？’

‘You'll　be　welcome　there，Mr　Pip，on　private　business．’

Next　Sunday　I　visited　Wemmick　and　his　aged　parent　at　the　Castle．This　time　there　was　a　lady　called　Miss　Skiffins，clearly　a　regular　visitor，who　made　the　tea，and　sat　next　to　Wemmick　on　the　sofa．When　he　and　I　were　alone，Wemmick　listened　carefully　to　my　request，and　after　thinking　hard，found　an　answer．

With　his　help　I　arranged　to　invest　some　money　in　a　shipping　company　called　Clarrikers．Finally　I　s