idle thoughts of an idle fellow-第17章

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。　　Precisely　the　same　articles　are　to　be　found　at　every　lodging…house　all　over　the　kingdom；　and　they　are　never　seen　anywhere　else。　　There　are　the　twowhat　do　you　call　them？　they　stand　one　at　each　end　of　the　mantel…piece；　where　they　are　never　safe；　and　they　are　hung　round　with　long　triangular　slips　of　glass　that　clank　against　one　another　and　make　you　nervous。　　In　the　commoner　class　of　rooms　these　works　of　art　are　supplemented　by　a　couple　of　pieces　of　china　which　might　each　be　meant　to　represent　a　cow　sitting　upon　its　hind　legs；　or　a　model　of　the　temple　of　Diana　at　Ephesus；　or　a　dog；　or　anything　else　you　like　to　fancy。　　Somewhere　about　the　room　you　come　across　a　bilious…looking　object；　which　at　first　you　take　to　be　a　lump　of　dough　left　about　by　one　of　the　children；　but　which　on　scrutiny　seems　to　resemble　an　underdone　cupid。　This　thing　the　landlady　calls　a　statue。　　Then　there　is　a　〃sampler〃　worked　by　some　idiot　related　to　the　family；　a　picture　of　the　〃Huguenots；〃　two　or　three　Scripture　texts；　and　a　highly　framed　and　glazed　certificate　to　the　effect　that　the　father　has　been　vaccinated；　or　is　an　Odd　Fellow；　or　something　of　that　sort。

You　examine　these　various　attractions　and　then　dismally　ask　what　the　rent　is。

〃That's　rather　a　good　deal；〃　you　say　on　hearing　the　figure。

〃Well；　to　tell　you　the　truth；〃　answers　the　landlady　with　a　sudden　burst　of　candor；　〃I've　always　had〃　（mentioning　a　sum　a　good　deal　in　excess　of　the　first…named　amount）；　〃and　before　that　I　used　to　have〃　（a　still　higher　figure）。

What　the　rent　of　apartments　must　have　been　twenty　years　ago　makes　one　shudder　to　think　of。　　Every　landlady　makes　you　feel　thoroughly　ashamed　of　yourself　by　informing　you；　whenever　the　subject　crops　up；　that　she　used　to　get　twice　as　much　for　her　rooms　as　you　are　paying。　　Young　men　lodgers　of　the　last　generation　must　have　been　of　a　wealthier　class　than　they　are　now；　or　they　must　have　ruined　themselves。　　I　should　have　had　to　live　in　an　attic。

Curious；　that　in　lodgings　the　rule　of　life　is　reversed。　　The　higher　you　get　up　in　the　world　the　lower　you　come　down　in　your　lodgings。　　On　the　lodging…house　ladder　the　poor　man　is　at　the　top；　the　rich　man　underneath。　　You　start　in　the　attic　and　work　your　way　down　to　the　first　floor。

A　good　many　great　men　have　lived　in　attics　and　some　have　died　there。　Attics；　says　the　dictionary；　are　〃places　where　lumber　is　stored；〃　and　the　world　has　used　them　to　store　a　good　deal　of　its　lumber　in　at　one　time　or　another。　　Its　preachers　and　painters　and　poets；　its　deep…browed　men　who　will　find　out　things；　its　fire…eyed　men　who　will　tell　truths　that　no　one　wants　to　hearthese　are　the　lumber　that　the　world　hides　away　in　its　attics。　　Haydn　grew　up　in　an　attic　and　Chatterton　starved　in　one。　　Addison　and　Goldsmith　wrote　in　garrets。　Faraday　and　De　Quincey　knew　them　well。　　Dr。　Johnson　camped　cheerfully　in　them；　sleeping　soundlytoo　soundly　sometimesupon　their　trundle…beds；　like　the　sturdy　old　soldier　of　fortune　that　he　was；　inured　to　hardship　and　all　careless　of　himself。　　Dickens　spent　his　youth　among　them；　Morland　his　old　agealas！　a　drunken；　premature　old　age。　　Hans　Andersen；　the　fairy　king；　dreamed　his　sweet　fancies　beneath　their　sloping　roofs。　　Poor；　wayward…hearted　Collins　leaned　his　head　upon　their　crazy　tables；　priggish　Benjamin　Franklin；　Savage；　the　wrong…headed；　much　troubled　when　he　could　afford　any　softer　bed　than　a　doorstep；　young　Bloomfield；　〃Bobby〃　Burns；　Hogarth；　Watts　the　engineerthe　roll　is　endless。　　Ever　since　the　habitations　of　men　were　reared　two　stories　high　has　the　garret　been　the　nursery　of　genius。

No　one　who　honors　the　aristocracy　of　mind　can　feel　ashamed　of　acquaintanceship　with　them。　　Their　damp…stained　walls　are　sacred　to　the　memory　of　noble　names。　　If　all　the　wisdom　of　the　world　and　all　its　artall　the　spoils　that　it　has　won　from　nature；　all　the　fire　that　it　has　snatched　from　heavenwere　gathered　together　and　divided　into　heaps；　and　we　could　point　and　say；　for　instance；　these　mighty　truths　were　flashed　forth　in　the　brilliant　_salon_　amid　the　ripple　of　light　laughter　and　the　sparkle　of　bright　eyes；　and　this　deep　knowledge　was　dug　up　in　the　quiet　study；　where　the　bust　of　Pallas　looks　serenely　down　on　the　leather…scented　shelves；　and　this　heap　belongs　to　the　crowded　street；　and　that　to　the　daisied　fieldthe　heap　that　would　tower　up　high　above　the　rest　as　a　mountain　above　hills　would　be　the　one　at　which　we　should　look　up　and　say：　　this　noblest　pile　of　allthese　glorious　paintings　and　this　wondrous　music；　these　trumpet　words；　these　solemn　thoughts；　these　daring　deeds；　they　were　forged　and　fashioned　amid　misery　and　pain　in　the　sordid　squalor　of　the　city　garret。　　There；　from　their　eyries；　while　the　world　heaved　and　throbbed　below；　the　kings　of　men　sent　forth　their　eagle　thoughts　to　wing　their　flight　through　the　ages。　　There；　where　the　sunlight　streaming　through　the　broken　panes　fell　on　rotting　boards　and　crumbling　walls；　there；　from　their　lofty　thrones；　those　rag…clothed　Joves　have　hurled　their　thunderbolts　and　shaken；　before　now；　the　earth　to　its　foundations。

Huddle　them　up　in　your　lumber…rooms；　oh；　world！　　Shut　them　fast　in　and　turn　the　key　of　poverty　upon　them。　　Weld　close　the　bars；　and　let　them　fret　their　hero　lives　away　within　the　narrow　cage。　　Leave　them　there　to　starve；　and　rot；　and　die。　　Laugh　at　the　frenzied　beatings　of　their　hands　against　the　door。　　Roll　onward　in　your　dust　and　noise　and　pass　them　by；　forgotten。

But　take　care　lest　they　turn　and　sting　you。　　All　do　not；　like　the　fabled　phoenix；　warble　sweet　melodies　in　their　agony；　sometimes　they　spit　venomvenom　you　must　breathe　whether　you　will　or　no；　for　you　cannot　seal　their　mouths；　though　you　may　fetter　their　limbs。　　You　can　lock　the　door　upon　them；　but　they　burst　open　their　shaky　lattices　and　call　out　over　the　house…tops　so　that　men　cannot　but　hear。　　You　hounded　wild　Rousseau　into　the　meanest　garret　of　the　Rue　St。　Jacques　and　jeered　at　his　angry　shrieks。　　But　the　thin；　piping　tones　swelled　a　hundred　years　later　into　the　sullen　roar　of　the　French　Revolution；　and　civilization　to　this　day　is　quivering　to　the　reverberations　of　his　voice。

As　for　myself；　however；　I　like　an　attic。　　Not　to　live　in：　as　residences　they　are　inconvenient。　　There　is　too　much　getting　up　and　down　stairs　connected　with　them　to　please　me。　　It　puts　one　unpleasantly　in　mind　of　the　tread…mill。　　The　form　of　the　ceiling　offers　too　many　facilities　for　bumping　your　head　and　too　few　for　shaving。　　And　the　note　of　the　tomcat　as　he　sings　to　his　love　in　the　stilly　night　outside　on　the　tiles　becomes　positively　distasteful　when　heard　so　near。

No；　for　living　in　give　me　a　suit　of　rooms　on　the　first　floor　of　a　Piccadilly　mansion　（I　wish　somebody　would！）；　but　for　thinking　in　let　me　have　an　attic　up　ten　flights　of　stairs　in　the　densest　quarter　of　the　city。　　I　have　all　Herr　Teufelsdrockh's　affection　for　attics。　There　is　a　sublimity　about　their　loftiness。　　I　love　to　〃sit　at　ease　and　look　down　upon　the　wasps'　nest　beneath；〃　to　listen　to　the　dull　murmur　of　the　human　tide　ebbing　and　flowing　ceaselessly　through　the　narrow　streets　and　lanes　below。　　How　small　men　seem；　how　like　a　swarm　of　ants　sweltering　in　endless　confusion　on　their　tiny　hill！　　How　petty　seems　the　work　on　which　they　are　hurrying　and　skurrying！　　How　childishly　they　jostle　against　one　another　and　turn　to　snarl　and　scratch！　　They　jabber　and　screech　and　curse；　but　their　puny　voices　do　not　reach　up　here。　　They　fret；　and　fume；　and　rage；　and　pant；　and　die；　〃but　I；　mein　Werther；　sit　above　it　all；　I　am　alone　with　the　stars。〃

The　most　extraordinary　attic　I　ever　came　across　was　one　a　friend　and　I　once　shared　many　years　ago。　　Of　all　eccentrically　planned　things；　from　Bradshaw　to　the　maze　at　Hampton　Court；　that　room　was　the　most　eccentric。　　The　architect　who　designed　it　must　have　been　a　genius；　though　I　cannot　help　thinking　that　his　talents　would　have　been　better　employed　in　contriving　puzzles　than　in　shaping　human　habitations。　　No　figure　in　Euclid　could　give　any　idea　of　that　apartment。　　It　contained　seven　corners；　two　of　the　walls　sloped　to　a　point；　and　the　window　was　just　over　the　fireplace。　　The　only　possible　position　for　the　bedstead　was　between　the　door　and　the　cupboard。　　To　get　anything　out　of　the　cupboard　we　had　to　scramble　over　the　bed；　and　a　large　percentage　of　the　various　commodities　thus　obtained　was　absorbed　by　the　bedclothes。　Indeed；　so　many　things　were　spilled　and　dropped　upon　the　bed　that　toward　night…time　it　had　become　a　sort　of　small　cooperative　store。　Coal　was　what　it　always　had　most　in　stock。　　We　used　to　keep　our　coal　in　the　bottom　part　of　the　cupboard；　and　when　any　was　wanted　we　had　to　climb　over　the　bed；　fill　a　shovelful；　and　then　crawl　back。　　It　was　an　exciting　moment　when　we　reached　the　middle　of　the　bed。　　We　would　hold　our　breath；　fix　our　eyes　upon　the　shovel；　and　poise　ourselves　for　the　last　move。　　The　next　instant　we；　and　the　coals；　and　the　shovel；　and　the　bed　would　be　all　mixed　up　together。

I've　heard　of　the　people　going　into　raptures　over　beds　of　coal。　　We　slept　in　one　every　night　and　were　not　in　the　least　stuck　up　about　it。

But　our　attic；　unique　though　it　was；　had　by　no　means　exhausted　the　architect's　sense　of　humor。　　The　arrangement　of　the　whole　house　was　a　marvel　of　originality。　　All　the　doors　opened　outward；　so　that　if　any　one　wanted　to　leave　a　room　at　the　same　moment　that　you　were　coming　downstairs　it　was　unpleasant　for　you。　　There　was　no　ground…floorits　ground…floor　belonged　to　a　house　in　the　next　court；　and　the　front　door　opened　direct　upon　a　flight　of　stairs　leading　down　to　the　cellar。　Visitors　on　entering　the　house　would　suddenly　shoot　past　the　person　who　had　answered　the　door　to　them　and　disappear　down　these　stairs。　Those　of　a　nervous　temperament　used　to　imagine　that　it　was　a　trap　laid　for　them；　and　would　shout　murder　as　they　lay　on　their　backs　at　the　bottom　till　somebody　came　and　picked　them　up。

It　is　a　long　time　ago　now　that　I　last　saw　the　inside　of　an　attic。　　I　have　tried　various　floors　since　but　I　have　not　found　that　they　have　made　much　difference　to　me。　　Life　tastes　much　the　same；　whether　we　quaff　it　from　a　golden　goblet　or　drink　it　out　of　a　stone　mug。　　The　hours　come　laden　with　the　same　mixture　of　joy　and　sorrow；　no　matter　where　we　wait　for　them。　　A　waistcoat　of　broadcloth　or　of　fustian　is　alike　to　an　aching　heart；　and　we　laugh　no　merrier　on　velvet　cushions　than　we　did　on　wooden　chairs。　　Often　have　I　sighed　in　those　low…ceilinged　rooms；　yet　disappointments　have　come　neither　less　nor　lighter　since　I　quitted　them。　　Life　works　upon　a　compensating　balance；　and　the　happiness　we　gain　in　one　direction　we　lose　in　another。　　As　our　means　increase；　so　do　our　desires；　and　we　ever　stand　midway　between　the　two。　　When　we　reside　in　an　attic　we　enjoy　a　supper　of　fried　fish　and　stout。　　When　we　occupy　the　first　floor　it　takes　an　elaborate　dinner　at　the　Continental　to　give　us　the　same　amount　of　satisfaction。



ON　DRESS　AND　DEPORTMENT。

They　saypeople　who　ought　to　be　ashamed　of　themselves　dothat　the　consciousness　of　being　well　dressed　imparts　a　blissfulness　to　the　human　heart　that　religion　is　powerless　to　bestow。　　I　am　afraid　these　cynical　persons　are　sometimes　correct。　　I　know　that　when　I　was　a　very　young　man　（many；　many　years　ago；　as　the　story…books　say）　and　wanted　cheering　up；　I　used　to　go　and　dress　myself　i