idle thoughts of an idle fellow-第7章

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reful　that　B　is　a　reliable　man；　though；　otherwise　he　won't。

Those　fine；　sturdy　John　Bulls　who　〃hate　flattery；　sir；〃　〃Never　let　anybody　get　over　me　by　flattery；〃　etc。；　etc。；　are　very　simply　managed。　Flatter　them　enough　upon　their　absence　of　vanity；　and　you　can　do　what　you　like　with　them。

After　all；　vanity　is　as　much　a　virtue　as　a　vice。　　It　is　easy　to　recite　copy…book　maxims　against　its　sinfulness；　but　it　is　a　passion　that　can　〃move　us　to　good　as　well　as　to　evil。　　Ambition　is　only　vanity　ennobled。　　We　want　to　win　praise　and　admirationor　fame　as　we　prefer　to　name　itand　so　we　write　great　books；　and　paint　grand　pictures；　and　sing　sweet　songs；　and　toil　with　willing　hands　in　study；　loom；　and　laboratory。

We　wish　to　become　rich　men；　not　in　order　to　enjoy　ease　and　comfortall　that　any　one　man　can　taste　of　those　may　be　purchased　anywhere　for　200　pounds　per　annumbut　that　our　houses　may　be　bigger　and　more　gaudily　furnished　than　our　neighbors'；　that　our　horses　and　servants　may　be　more　numerous；　that　we　may　dress　our　wives　and　daughters　in　absurd　but　expensive　clothes；　and　that　we　may　give　costly　dinners　of　which　we　ourselves　individually　do　not　eat　a　shilling's　worth。　　And　to　do　this　we　aid　the　world's　work　with　clear　and　busy　brain；　spreading　commerce　among　its　peoples；　carrying　civilization　to　its　remotest　corners。

Do　not　let　us　abuse　vanity；　therefore。　　Rather　let　us　use　it。　　Honor　itself　is　but　the　highest　form　of　vanity。　　The　instinct　is　not　confined　solely　to　Beau　Brummels　and　Dolly　Vardens。　　There　is　the　vanity　of　the　peacock　and　the　vanity　of　the　eagle。　　Snobs　are　vain。　But　so；　too；　are　heroes。　　Come；　oh！　my　young　brother　bucks；　let　us　be　vain　together。　　Let　us　join　hands　and　help　each　other　to　increase　our　vanity。　　Let　us　be　vain；　not　of　our　trousers　and　hair；　but　of　brave　hearts　and　working　hands；　of　truth；　of　purity；　of　nobility。　　Let　us　be　too　vain　to　stoop　to　aught　that　is　mean　or　base；　too　vain　for　petty　selfishness　and　little…minded　envy；　too　vain　to　say　an　unkind　word　or　do　an　unkind　act。　　Let　us　be　vain　of　being　single…hearted；　upright　gentlemen　in　the　midst　of　a　world　of　knaves。　　Let　us　pride　ourselves　upon　thinking　high　thoughts；　achieving　great　deeds；　living　good　lives。



ON　GETTING　ON　IN　THE　WORLD。

Not　exactly　the　sort　of　thing　for　an　idle　fellow　to　think　about；　is　it？　　But　outsiders；　you　know；　often　see　most　of　the　game；　and　sitting　in　my　arbor　by　the　wayside；　smoking　my　hookah　of　contentment　and　eating　the　sweet　lotus…leaves　of　indolence；　I　can　look　out　musingly　upon　the　whirling　throng　that　rolls　and　tumbles　past　me　on　the　great　high…road　of　life。

Never…ending　is　the　wild　procession。　　Day　and　night　you　can　hear　the　quick　tramp　of　the　myriad　feetsome　running；　some　walking；　some　halting　and　lame；　but　all　hastening；　all　eager　in　the　feverish　race；　all　straining　life　and　limb　and　heart　and　soul　to　reach　the　ever…receding　horizon　of　success。

Mark　them　as　they　surge　alongmen　and　women；　old　and　young；　gentle　and　simple；　fair　and　foul；　rich　and　poor；　merry　and　sadall　hurrying；　bustling；　scrambling。　　The　strong　pushing　aside　the　weak；　the　cunning　creeping　past　the　foolish；　those　behind　elbowing　those　before；　those　in　front　kicking；　as　they　run；　at　those　behind。　　Look　close　and　see　the　flitting　show。　　Here　is　an　old　man　panting　for　breath；　and　there　a　timid　maiden　driven　by　a　hard　and　sharp…faced　matron；　here　is　a　studious　youth；　reading　〃How　to　Get　On　in　the　World〃　and　letting　everybody　pass　him　as　he　stumbles　along　with　his　eyes　on　his　book；　here　is　a　bored…looking　man；　with　a　fashionably　dressed　woman　jogging　his　elbow；　here　a　boy　gazing　wistfully　back　at　the　sunny　village　that　he　never　again　will　see；　here；　with　a　firm　and　easy　step；　strides　a　broad…shouldered　man；　and　here；　with　stealthy　tread；　a　thin…faced；　stooping　fellow　dodges　and　shuffles　upon　his　way；　here；　with　gaze　fixed　always　on　the　ground；　an　artful　rogue　carefully　works　his　way　from　side　to　side　of　the　road　and　thinks　he　is　going　forward；　and　here　a　youth　with　a　noble　face　stands；　hesitating　as　he　looks　from　the　distant　goal　to　the　mud　beneath　his　feet。

And　now　into　sight　comes　a　fair　girl；　with　her　dainty　face　growing　more　wrinkled　at　every　step；　and　now　a　care…worn　man；　and　now　a　hopeful　lad。

A　motley　thronga　motley　throng！　　Prince　and　beggar；　sinner　and　saint；　butcher　and　baker　and　candlestick　maker；　tinkers　and　tailors；　and　plowboys　and　sailorsall　jostling　along　together。　　Here　the　counsel　in　his　wig　and　gown；　and　here　the　old　Jew　clothes…man　under　his　dingy　tiara；　here　the　soldier　in　his　scarlet；　and　here　the　undertaker's　mute　in　streaming　hat…band　and　worn　cotton　gloves；　here　the　musty　scholar　fumbling　his　faded　leaves；　and　here　the　scented　actor　dangling　his　showy　seals。　　Here　the　glib　politician　crying　his　legislative　panaceas；　and　here　the　peripatetic　Cheap…Jack　holding　aloft　his　quack　cures　for　human　ills。　　Here　the　sleek　capitalist　and　there　the　sinewy　laborer；　here　the　man　of　science　and　here　the　shoe…back；　here　the　poet　and　here　the　water…rate　collector；　here　the　cabinet　minister　and　there　the　ballet…dancer。　　Here　a　red…nosed　publican　shouting　the　praises　of　his　vats　and　there　a　temperance　lecturer　at　50　pounds　a　night；　here　a　judge　and　there　a　swindler；　here　a　priest　and　there　a　gambler。　　Here　a　jeweled　duchess；　smiling　and　gracious；　here　a　thin　lodging…house　keeper；　irritable　with　cooking；　and　here　a　wabbling；　strutting　thing；　tawdry　in　paint　and　finery。

Cheek　by　cheek　they　struggle　onward。　　Screaming；　cursing；　and　praying；　laughing；　singing；　and　moaning；　they　rush　past　side　by　side。　　Their　speed　never　slackens；　the　race　never　ends。　　There　is　no　wayside　rest　for　them；　no　halt　by　cooling　fountains；　no　pause　beneath　green　shades。　On；　on；　onon　through　the　heat　and　the　crowd　and　the　duston；　or　they　will　be　trampled　down　and　loston；　with　throbbing　brain　and　tottering　limbson；　till　the　heart　grows　sick；　and　the　eyes　grow　blurred；　and　a　gurgling　groan　tells　those　behind　they　may　close　up　another　space。

And　yet；　in　spite　of　the　killing　pace　and　the　stony　track；　who　but　the　sluggard　or　the　dolt　can　hold　aloof　from　the　course？　　Wholike　the　belated　traveler　that　stands　watching　fairy　revels　till　he　snatches　and　drains　the　goblin　cup　and　springs　into　the　whirling　circlecan　view　the　mad　tumult　and　not　be　drawn　into　its　midst？　　Not　I；　for　one。　I　confess　to　the　wayside　arbor；　the　pipe　of　contentment；　and　the　lotus…leaves　being　altogether　unsuitable　metaphors。　　They　sounded　very　nice　and　philosophical；　but　I'm　afraid　I　am　not　the　sort　of　person　to　sit　in　arbors　smoking　pipes　when　there　is　any　fun　going　on　outside。　　I　think　I　more　resemble　the　Irishman　who；　seeing　a　crowd　collecting；　sent　his　little　girl　out　to　ask　if　there　was　going　to　be　a　row　〃'Cos；　if　so；　father　would　like　to　be　in　it。〃

I　love　the　fierce　strife。　　I　like　to　watch　it。　　I　like　to　hear　of　people　getting　on　in　itbattling　their　way　bravely　and　fairlythat　is；　not　slipping　through　by　luck　or　trickery。　　It　stirs　one's　old　Saxon　fighting　blood　like　the　tales　of　〃knights　who　fought　'gainst　fearful　odds〃　that　thrilled　us　in　our　school…boy　days。

And　fighting　the　battle　of　life　is　fighting　against　fearful　odds；　too。　There　are　giants　and　dragons　in　this　nineteenth　century；　and　the　golden　casket　that　they　guard　is　not　so　easy　to　win　as　it　appears　in　the　story…books。　　There；　Algernon　takes　one　long；　last　look　at　the　ancestral　hall；　dashes　the　tear…drop　from　his　eye；　and　goes　offto　return　in　three　years'　time；　rolling　in　riches。　　The　authors　do　not　tell　us　〃how　it's　done；〃　which　is　a　pity；　for　it　would　surely　prove　exciting。

But　then　not　one　novelist　in　a　thousand　ever　does　tell　us　the　real　story　of　their　hero。　　They　linger　for　a　dozen　pages　over　a　tea…party；　but　sum　up　a　life's　history　with　〃he　had　become　one　of　our　merchant　princes；〃　or　〃he　was　now　a　great　artist；　with　the　world　at　his　feet。〃　Why；　there　is　more　real　life　in　one　of　Gilbert's　patter…songs　than　in　half　the　biographical　novels　ever　written。　　He　relates　to　us　all　the　various　steps　by　which　his　office…boy　rose　to　be　the　〃ruler　of　the　queen's　navee；〃　and　explains　to　us　how　the　briefless　barrister　managed　to　become　a　great　and　good　judge；　〃ready　to　try　this　breach　of　promise　of　marriage。〃　　It　is　in　the　petty　details；　not　in　the　great　results；　that　the　interest　of　existence　lies。

What　we　really　want　is　a　novel　showing　us　all　the　hidden　under…current　of　an　ambitious　man's　careerhis　struggles；　and　failures；　and　hopes；　his　disappointments　and　victories。　　It　would　be　an　immense　success。　　I　am　sure　the　wooing　of　Fortune　would　prove　quite　as　interesting　a　tale　as　the　wooing　of　any　flesh…and…blood　maiden；　though；　by　the　way；　it　would　read　extremely　similar；　for　Fortune　is；　indeed；　as　the　ancients　painted　her；　very　like　a　womannot　quite　so　unreasonable　and　inconsistent；　but　nearly　soand　the　pursuit　is　much　the　same　in　one　case　as　in　the　other。　　Ben　Jonson's　couplet

　　　　　〃Court　a　mistress；　she　denies　you；　　　　　　Let　her　alone；　she　will　court　you〃　　　　　　　puts　them　both　in　a　nutshell。　　A　woman　never　thoroughly　cares　for　her　lover　until　he　has　ceased　to　care　for　her；　and　it　is　not　until　you　have　snapped　your　fingers　in　Fortune's　face　and　turned　on　your　heel　that　she　begins　to　smile　upon　you。

But　by　that　time　you　do　not　much　care　whether　she　smiles　or　frowns。　Why　could　she　not　have　smiled　when　her　smiles　would　have　filled　you　with　ecstasy？　　Everything　comes　too　late　in　this　world。

Good　people　say　that　it　is　quite　right　and　proper　that　it　should　be　so；　and　that　it　proves　ambition　is　wicked。

Bosh！　　Good　people　are　altogether　wrong。　　（They　always　are；　in　my　opinion。　　We　never　agree　on　any　single　point。）　　What　would　the　world　do　without　ambitious　people；　I　should　like　to　know？　　Why；　it　would　be　as　flabby　as　a　Norfolk　dumpling。　　Ambitious　people　are　the　leaven　which　raises　it　into　wholesome　bread。　　Without　ambitious　people　the　world　would　never　get　up。　　They　are　busybodies　who　are　about　early　in　the　morning；　hammering；　shouting；　and　rattling　the　fire…irons；　and　rendering　it　generally　impossible　for　the　rest　of　the　house　to　remain　in　bed。

Wrong　to　be　ambitious；　forsooth！　　The　men　wrong　who；　with　bent　back　and　sweating　brow；　cut　the　smooth　road　over　which　humanity　marches　forward　from　generation　to　generation！　　Men　wrong　for　using　the　talents　that　their　Master　has　intrusted　to　themfor　toiling　while　others　play！

Of　course　they　are　seeking　their　reward。　　Man　is　not　given　that　godlike　unselfishness　that　thinks　only　of　others'　good。　　But　in　working　for　themselves　they　are　working　for　us　all。　　We　are　so　bound　together　that　no　man　can　labor　for　himself　alone。　　Each　blow　he　strikes　in　his　own　behalf　helps　to　mold　the　universe。　　The　stream　in　struggling　onward　turns　the　mill…wheel；　the　coral　insect；　fashioning　its　tiny　cell；　joins　continents　to　one　another；　and　the　ambitious　man；　building　a　pedestal　for　himself；　leaves　a　monument　to　posterity。　Alexander　and　Caesar　fought　for　their　own　ends；　but　in　doing　so　they　put　a　belt　of　civilization　half　round　the　earth。　　Stephenson；　to　win　a　fortune；　invented　the　steam…engine；　and　Shakespeare　wrote　his　plays　in　order　to　keep　a　comfortable　home　for　Mrs。　Shakespeare　and　the　little　Shakespeares。

Contented；　unambitious　people　are　all　very　well　in　their　way。　　They　form　a　neat；　useful　background　f