elinor wyllys-2-第37章

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nted　three　months　of　probation　would　have　expired；　and　he　would　either　remain　there　as　the　affianced　husband　of　Elinor；　or　leave　Longbridge　her　rejected　suitor。

During　the　past　three　months；　Elinor　had　taken　an　important　step　in　life；　she　had　reached　a　point　in　experience；　where　she　had　never　stood　before。　The　whole　responsibility　of　deciding　upon　a　subject；　highly　important　to　herself；　and　to　those　connected　with　her；　had　been　thrown　entirely　upon　her　alone。　The　fate　of　her　whole　life　would　be　much　involved　in　the　present　decision。　During　the　last　two　or　three　years；　or　in　other　words；　since　she　had　first　discovered　that　Harry　loved　Jane；　she　had　intended　to　remain　single。　It　seemed　very　improbable　to　her；　that　any　one　would　seek　to　gain　her　affections；　unless　with　the　view　of　enjoying　the　fortune　which　she　had　now　the　reputation　of　possessing；　it　was　only　natural　that　she　should　exaggerate　those　personal　disadvantages；　which　had　lost　the　heart　of　him　whom　she　had　once　loved　so　truly。　She　had　been　so　much　attached　to　Hazlehurst；　that　she　shrunk　from　the　idea　of　ever　becoming　the　wife　of　another；　and　she　considered　herself　as　having　tacitly　made　choice　of　a　single　life；　which　her　mother's　letter　seemed　to　suggest。　But　as　she　never　spoke　of　her　views；　or　alluded　to　them；　her　grandfather　and　aunt　were　ignorant　of　this　intention；　and　she　soon　began　to　observe　with　regret　that　they　wished　her　to　marry；　and　were　indeed　anxious　that　she　should　accept　Mr。　Ellsworth。　This　was　the　first　occasion　of　any　importance；　on　which　their　wishes　and　her　own　had　been　at　variance；　it　was　a　new　position　for　Elinor　to　be　placed　in。　When　Mr。　Ellsworth　made　his　proposal；　it　was　owing　to　the　strong；　but　affectionate　representations　of　Mr。　Wyllys　and　Miss　Agnes；　that　he　was　not　immediately　rejected。　Elinor　was；　in　fact；　the　last　person　to　be　convinced　of　his　regard　for　her；　but　she　had　known　his　character　and　standing　too　well　to　believe　him　a　mere　fortune…hunter；　and　after　he　had　once　offered　himself；　could　not　doubt　his　sincerity。　She　mentioned　to　Miss　Wyllys　her　previous　intention　of　remaining　single。

〃Make　no　rash　decision；　my　love；〃　was　the　reply　at　the　time。　〃You　are　too　reasonable；　for　me　to　believe　that　you　will　do　so；　look　at　your　own　position；　Elinor；　you　will　be　alone　in　the　world；　more　so　than　most　women。　Your　grandfather　is　advanced　in　years；　and　my　health　warns　me　not　to　expect　a　long　life。　I　do　not　wish　to　distress　you；　but　to　place　the　truth　plainly　before　you；　my　Elinor。　You　have　neither　brother　nor　sister；　Jane　and　Harry；　your　intimate　companions　in　childhood；　will　be　separated　from　you　by　ties　and　duties　of　their　own。　What　will　you　do；　my　child？　An　affectionate　disposition　like　yours　cannot　be　happy　alone。　On　the　other　hand；　here　is　Mr。　Ellsworth；　who　is　certainly　attached　to　you；　a　man　of　excellent　character；　with　every　important　quality　that　can　be　desired。　You　say　you　wish　to　be　reasonable；　judge　for　yourself　what　is　the　wisest　course　under　these　circumstances。〃

Elinor　was　silent　for　a　moment；　at　length　she　spoke。

〃It　has　always　been　one　of　your　own　lessons　to　me；　dearest　aunt；　to　profit　by　the　past；　to　improve　the　present；　and　leave　the　future　to　Providence。　Yet；　now；　you　would　have　me　think　of　the　future　only；　and　you　urge　me　to　marry；　while　you　are　single；　and　happy；　yourself！〃

〃Yes；　my　child；　but　I　have　had　your　grandfather　and　you；　to　make　me　happy　and　useful。　Most　single　women　have　near　relatives；　to　whom　they　can　attach　themselves；　whom　it　is　a　duty　and　a　pleasure　to　love　and　serve；　but　that　is　not　your　case。　Elinor；　your　grandfather　is　very　anxious　you　should　accept　Mr。　Ellsworth。〃

〃I　know　it；〃　said　Elinor；　〃he　has　told　me　so　himself。〃

〃He　is　anxious；　dear；　because　from　what　he　knows　of　Mr。　Ellsworth　and　yourself；　he　is　convinced　you　would　eventually　be　happy；　he　fears　you　hesitate　from　some　feeling　of　girlish　romance。　Still；　we　have　neither　of　us　any　wish　to　urge　you　too　far。　Appeal　to　your　own　good；　common　sense；　that　is　all　that　can　be　desired；　do　not　be　romantic；　dear；　for　the　first　time　in　your　life；〃　continued　her　aunt　smiling。　〃I　know　the　wishes　of　your　friends　will　have　some　weight　with　you；　do　not　let　them　control　you；　however。　Judge　for　yourself；　but　take　time　to　reflect；　accept　Mr。　Ellsworth's　own　propositionwait　some　time　before　you　give　a　final　answer；　that　is　all　that　your　grandfather　and　myself　can　ask。〃

And　such　had　been　the　decision；　three　months　being　the　time　appointed。　Since　then；　both　Mr。　Wyllys　and　Miss　Agnes　had　carefully　refrained　from　expressing　any　farther　opinionthey　never　even　alluded　to　the　subject；　but　left　Elinor　to　her　own　reflections。　Such　at　least　was　their　intention；　but　their　wishes　were　well　known　to　her；　and　very　possibly；　unconsciously　influenced　their　conduct　and　manner；　in　many　daily　trifles；　in　a　way　very　evident　to　Elinor。　In　the　mean　time；　September　had　come；　and　the　moment　for　final　decision　was　at　hand。　Mr。　Ellsworth's　conduct　throughout　had　been　very　much　in　his　favour；　he　had　been　persevering　and　marked　in　his　attentions；　without　annoying　by　his　pertinacity。　Elinor　had　liked　him；　in　the　common　sense　of　the　word；　from　the　first；　and　the　better　she　knew　him；　the　more　cause　she　found　to　respect　his　principles；　and　amiable　character。　And　yet；　if　left　to　her　own　unbiassed　judgment；　she　would　probably　have　refused　him　at　first；　with　no　other　reluctance　than　that　of　wounding　for　a　time　the　feelings　of　a　man　she　sincerely　esteemed。

The　morning　that　Mrs。　Creighton　and　Mr。　Ellsworth　left　Wyllys…Roof；　Elinor　set　out　to　take　a　stroll　in　the　field；　with　no　other　companion　than　her　friend　Bruno。　The　dog　seemed　aware　that　his　mistress　was　absent　and　thoughtful；　more　indifferent　than　usual　to　his　caresses　and　gambols；　and；　after　having　made　this　observation；　the　sagacious　animal　seemed　determined　not　to　annoy　her；　but　walked　soberly　at　her　side；　or　occasionally　trotting　on　before；　he　would　stop；　turn　towards　her；　and　sit　in　the　path；　looking　at　her　as　she　slowly　approached。　She　had　left　the　house；　in　order　to　avoid　any　intrusion　on　her　thoughts；　at　a　moment　which　was　an　important　one　to　her；　for　she　had　determined；　that　after　one　more　thorough　examination　of　her　own　feelings；　her　own　views；　and　the　circumstances　in　which　she　was　placed；　the　question　should　be　irrevocably　settledwhether　she　were　to　became　the　wife　of　Mr。　Ellsworth；　or　to　remain　single。　Many　persons　may　fancy　this　a　very　insignificant　matter　to　decide；　and　one　that　required　no　such　serious　attention。　But　to　every　individual；　that　is　a　highly　important　point；　which　must　necessarily　affect　the　whole　future　course　of　life；　the　choice　which　involves　so　intimate　and　indissoluble　a　relation；　where　every　interest　in　life　is　identical　with　one's　own；　is　surely　no　trifling　concern。　It　may　well　be　doubted；　indeed；　if　even　with　men　it　be　not　a　matter　of　higher　importance　than　is　commonly　believed；　observation；　we　think；　would　lead　to　the　opinion；　that　a　wife's　character　and　conduct　have　a　deeper　and　more　general　effect　on　the　husband's　career；　for　good　or　for　evil；　through　his　opinions　and　actions；　than　the　world　is　aware　of。　This　choice　certainly　appeared　a　much　more　formidable　step　to　Elinor；　when　Mr。　Ellsworth　was　the　individual　to　be　accepted　or　rejected；　than　it　had　when　Harry　stood　in　the　same　position。　In　one　case　she　had　to　reflect；　and　ponder；　and　weigh　all　the　different　circumstances；　in　the　other；　the　natural　bent　of　her　affections　had　decided　the　question　before　it　was　asked。　But　Elinor　had；　quite　lately；　settled　half…a…dozen　similar　affairs；　with　very　little　reflection　indeed；　and　without　a　moment's　anxiety　or　regret；　she　had　just　refused；　with　polite　indifference；　several　proposals；　from　persons　whom　she　had　every　reason　to　believe；　cared　a　great　deal　for　her　fortune；　and　very　little　for　herself。　If　thought　were　more　active　than　feeling；　in　behalf　of　Mr。　Ellsworth；　still；　thought　said　a　great　deal　in　his　favour。　She　had　always　liked　and　respected　him；　she　believed　him　attached　to　her；　her　nearest　friends　were　anxious　she　should　give　a　favourable　answer；　there　could　not　be　a　doubt　that　he　possessed　many　excellent　and　desirable　qualities。　She　would　not　be　romantic；　neither　would　she　be　unjust　to　Mr。　Ellsworth　and　herself；　she　would　not　accept　him；　unless　she　could　do　so　frankly；　and　without　reluctance。　This；　then；　was　the　question　to　be　decidedcould　she　love　Mr。　Ellsworth？　The　free；　spontaneous　love；　natural　to　early　youth；　she　had　once　given　to　Hazlehurst；　could　she　now　offer　to　Mr。　Ellsworth　sincere　affection　of　another　kind；　less　engrossing　at　first；　less　mingled　with　the　charms　of　fancy；　but　often；　perhaps　on　that　account；　more　valuable；　more　enduring？　Sincere　affection　of　any　sort；　is　that　only　which　improves　with　age；　gaining　strength　amid　the　wear　and　tear　of　life。　It　was　to　decide　this　question　clearly；　that　Elinor　had　desired　three　months'　delay。　These　three　months　had　nearly　passed；　when　she　again　met　Mr。　Ellsworth；　in　what　character　should　she　receive　him？

The　precise　train　of　thought　pursued　by　Elinor；　during　this　morning　stroll；　we　shall　not　attempt　to　follow；　but　that　she　was　fully　aware　of　the　importance　of　the　decision　was　evident；　by　the　unusual　absence　of　manner；　which　seemed　to　have　struck　even　her　four…footed　friend　Bruno。　She　had；　indeed；　made　an　important　discovery　lately；　one　which　was　startling；　and　even　painful　to　her。　She　found　that　there　are　moments　in　life；　when　each　individual　is　called　upon　to　think　and　to　act　alone。　It　is　a　truth　which　most　of　us　are　forced　to　feel；　as　we　go　through　this　world；　though；　happily；　it　is　but　seldom　that　such　hours　occur。　In　general；　the　sympathy；　the　counsel　of　friends；　is　of　the　very　highest　value；　and　yet；　there　are　moments　when　neither　can　avail。　At　such　times；　we　are　forced　to　look　higher；　to　acknowledge　that　human　wisdom　does　not　reach　far　enough　to　guide　us；　that　our　wounds　need　a　purer　balm　than　any　offered　by　human　sympathy。　Until　recently；　Elinor　had　always　been　soothed　and　supported　by　the　affection　and　guidance　of　her　aunt；　but　she　must　now　depend　upon　herself　alone。　To　a　young　person；　called　upon　for　the　first　time　to　take　an　important　step；　with　no　other　guide　than　individual　judgment　and　conscience；　the　responsibility　of　action　may　well　be　startling；　even　a　wise　and　experienced　man　will　often　pause　at　such　moments；　doubtful　of　the　course　he　shall　pursue。　It　is　an　easy　matter　to　settle　a　question；　when　passion；　feeling；　interest；　or　prejudice　gives　the　bias；　but　where　these　are　all　silent；　and　cool　judgment　is　left　alone　to　decide；　the　greatest　men　feel；　to　a　painful　degree；　how　limited　are　their　powers；　the　high　responsibility　which　is　attached　to　free…will　rises　before　them；　and　they　shrink　from　the　idea　of　trusting　their　own　welfare　to　their　own　short…sighted　reason　alone。　Most　men；　at　such　times；　take　refuge　in　a　sort　of　fatalism；　they　stand　inactive；　until　urged　in　this　or　that　direction　by　the　press　of　outward　circumstances；　or　they　rush　blindly　forward；　under　impatience　of　suspense；　preferring　risk　to　inaction。

The　occasion　of　our　young　friend's　anxiety　and　thoughtfulness　was；　no　doubt；　a　trifling　one　to　all　but　herself；　the　cause　of　her　hesitation；　however；　was　honourable；　the　opinions；　feelings；　and　motives　under　which　she　eventuall