anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第18章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
agreeable consequences； to avoid which he said； loud enough for the Doctor to hear； 〃Our friend here has no meaning now in all this； except just to relate at club to…morrow how he teased Johnson at dinner to…daythis is all to do himself HONOUR。〃 〃No； upon my word；〃 replied the other； 〃I see no HONOUR in it； whatever you may do。〃 〃Well； sir！〃 returned Mr。 Johnson； sternly； 〃if you do not SEE the HONOUR； I am sure I FEEL the DISGRACE。〃
A young fellow； less confident of his own abilities； lamenting one day that he had lost all his Greek〃I believe it happened at the same time； sir；〃 said Johnson； 〃that I lost all my large estate in Yorkshire。〃
But however roughly he might be suddenly provoked to treat a harmless exertion of vanity； he did not wish to inflict the pain he gave； and was sometimes very sorry when he perceived the people to smart more than they deserved。 〃How harshly you treated that man today；〃 said I once； 〃who harangued us so about gardening。〃 〃I am sorry；〃 said he； 〃if I vexed the creature； for there is certainly no harm in a fellow's rattling a rattle…box； only don't let him think that he thunders。〃 The Lincolnshire lady who showed him a grotto she had been making； came off no better； as I remember。 〃Would it not be a pretty cool habitation in summer；〃 said she； 〃Mr。 Johnson？〃 〃I think it would； madam；〃 replied he； 〃for a toad。〃
All desire of distinction； indeed； had a sure enemy in Mr。 Johnson。 We met a friend driving six very small ponies； and stopped to admire them。 〃Why does nobody；〃 said our Doctor； 〃begin the fashion of driving six spavined horses； all spavined of the same leg？ It would have a mighty pretty effect； and produce the distinction of doing something worse than the common way。〃
When Mr。 Johnson had a mind to compliment any one he did it with more dignity to himself； and better effect upon the company； than any man。 I can recollect but few instances； indeed； though perhaps that may be more my fault than his。 When Sir Joshua Reynolds left the room one day； he said； 〃There goes a man not to be spoilt by prosperity。〃 And when Mrs。 Montague showed him some China plates which had once belonged to Queen Elizabeth； he told her 〃that they had no reason to be ashamed of their present possessor； who was so little inferior to the first。〃 I likewise remember that he pronounced one day at my house a most lofty panegyric upon Jones the Orientalist； who seemed little pleased with the praise； for what cause I know not。 He was not at all offended when； comparing all our acquaintance to some animal or other； we pitched upon the elephant for his resemblance； adding that the proboscis of that creature was like his mind most exactly； strong to buffet even the tiger； and pliable to pick up even the pin。 The truth is； Mr。 Johnson was often good humouredly willing to join in childish amusements； and hated to be left out of any innocent merriment that was going forward。 Mr。 Murphy always said he was incomparable at buffoonery； and I verily think； if he had had good eyes； and a form less inflexible； he would have made an admirable mimic。
He certainly rode on Mr。 Thrale's old hunter with a good firmness； and though he would follow the hounds fifty miles on end sometimes； would never own himself either tired or amused。 〃I have now learned；〃 said he； 〃by hunting； to perceive that it is no diversion at all； nor ever takes a man out of himself for a moment： the dogs have less sagacity than I could have prevailed on myself to suppose； and the gentlemen often call to me not to ride over them。 It is very strange； and very melancholy； that the paucity of human pleasure should persuade us ever to call hunting one of them。〃 He was； however； proud to be amongst the sportsmen； and I think no praise ever went so close to his heart as when Mr。 Hamilton called out one day upon Brighthelmstone Downs； 〃Why； Johnson rides as well； for aught I see； as the most illiterate fellow in England。〃
Though Dr。 Johnson owed his very life to air and exercise； given him when his organs of respiration could scarcely play； in the year 1766； yet he ever persisted in the notion that neither of them had anything to do with health。 〃People live as long；〃 said he； 〃in Pepper Alley as on Salisbury Plain； and they live so much happier； that an inhabitant of the first would； if he turned cottager； starve his understanding for want of conversation； and perish in a state of mental inferiority。〃
Mr。 Johnson； indeed； as he was a very talking man himself； had an idea that nothing promoted happiness so much as conversation。 A friend's erudition was commended one day as equally deep and strong。 〃He will not talk； sir；〃 was the reply； 〃so his learning does no good； and his wit； if he has it； gives us no pleasure。 Out of all his boasted stores I never heard him force but one word； and that word was RICHARD。〃 With a contempt not inferior he received the praises of a pretty lady's face and behaviour。 〃She says nothing； sir；〃 answers Johnson； 〃a talking blackamoor were better than a white creature who adds nothing to life； and by sitting down before one thus desperately silent； takes away the confidence one should have in the company of her chair if she were once out of it。〃 No one was； however； less willing to begin any discourse than himself。 His friend； Mr。 Thomas Tyers； said he was like the ghosts； who never speak till they are spoken to： and he liked the expression so well； that he often repeated it。 He had； indeed； no necessity to lead the stream of chat to a favourite channel； that his fulness on the subject might be shown more clearly whatever was the topic； and he usually left the choice to others。 His information best enlightened； his argument strengthened； and his wit made it ever remembered。 Of him it might have been said； as he often delighted to say of Edmund Burke； 〃that you could not stand five minutes with that man beneath a shed while it rained； but you must be convinced you had been standing with the greatest man you had ever yet seen。〃
As we had been saying； one day； that no subject failed of receiving dignity from the manner in which Mr。 Johnson treated it； a lady at my house said she would make him talk about love； and took her measures accordingly； deriding the novels of the day because they treated about love。 〃It is not；〃 replied our philosopher； 〃because they treat； as you call it； about love； but because they treat of nothing； that they are despicable。 We must not ridicule a passion which he who never felt never was happy； and he who laughs at never deserves to feela passion which has caused the change of empires and the loss of worldsa passion which has inspired heroism and subdued avarice。〃 He thought he had already said too much。 〃A passion； in short；〃 added he； with an altered tone； 〃that consumes me away for my pretty Fanny here； and she is very cruel；〃 speaking of another lady in the room。 He told us； however； in the course of the same chat； how his negro Francis had been eminent for his success among the girls。 Seeing us all laugh； 〃I must have you know； ladies；〃 said he； 〃that Frank has carried the empire of Cupid further than most men。 When I was in Lincolnshire so many years ago he attended me thither； and when we returned home together； I found that a female haymaker had followed him to London for love。〃 Francis was indeed no small favourite with his master； who retained； however； a prodigious influence over his most violent passions。
On the birthday of our eldest daughter； and that of our friend Dr。 Johnson； the 17th and the 18th of September； we every year made up a little dance and supper； to divert our servants and their friends； putting the summer…house into their hands for the two evenings； to fill with acquaintance and merriment。 Francis and his white wife were invited； of course。 She was eminently pretty； and he was jealous； as my maids told me。 On the first of these days' amusements （I know not what year） Frank took offence at some attentions paid his Desdemona； and walked away next morning to London in wrath。 His master and I driving the same road an hour after； overtook him。 〃What is the matter； child；〃 says Dr。 Johnson； 〃that you leave Streatham to…day。 ART SICK？〃 〃He is jealous；〃 whispered I。 〃Are you jealous of your wife； you stupid blockhead？〃 cries out his master in another tone。 The fellow hesitated； and； 〃TO BE SURE； SIR； I DON'T QUITE APPROVE； SIR；〃 was the stammering reply。 〃Why； what do they DO to her； man？ Do the footmen kiss her？〃 〃No； sir； no！ Kiss my WIFE； sir！ I HOPE NOT； sir。〃 〃Why； what DO they do to her； my lad？〃 〃Why； nothing； sir； I'm sure； sir。〃 〃Why； then go back directly and dance； you dog； do； and let's hear no more of such empty lamentations。〃 I believe； however； that Francis was scarcely as much the object of Mr。 Johnson's personal kindness as the representative of Dr。 Bathurst； for whose sake he would have loved anybody or anything。
When he spoke of negroes； he always appeared to think them of a race naturally inferior； and made few exceptions in favour of his own； yet whenever disputes arose in his household among the many odd inhabitants of which it consisted； he always sided with Francis against the others； whom he suspected （not unjustly； I believe） of greater malignity。 It seems at once vexatious and comical to reflect that the dissensions those people chose to live constantly in distressed and mortified him exceedingly。 He really was oftentimes afraid of going home； because he was so sure to be met at the door with numberless complaints； and he used to lament pathetically to me； and to Mr。 Sastres； the Italian master； who was much his favourite； that they made his life miserable from the impossibility he found of making theirs happy； when every favour he bestowed on one was wormwood to the rest。 If； however； I ventured to blame their ingratitude； and condemn their conduct； he would instantly set about softening the one and justifying the other； and finished commonly by telling me； that I knew not how to make allowances for situations I never experienced。
〃To thee no reason who know'st only good； But evil hast not tried。〃 MILTON。
Dr。 Johnson knew how to be merry with mean people； too； as well as to be sad with them； he loved the lower ranks of humanity with a real affection： and though his talents and learning kept him always in the sphere of upper life； yet he never lost sight of the time when he and they shared pain and pleasure in common。 A borough election once showed me his toleration of boisterous mirth； and his content in the company of people whom one would have thought at first sight little calculated for his society。 A rough fellow one day on such an occasion； a hatter by trade； seeing Mr。 Johnson's beaver in a state of decay； seized it suddenly with one hand； and clapping him on the back with the other； 〃Ah； Master Johnson；〃 says he； 〃this is no time to be thinking about HATS。〃 〃No； no； sir；〃 replied our Doctor in a cheerful tone； 〃hats are of no use now； as you say； except to throw up in the air and huzza with；〃 accompanying his words with a true election halloo。
But it was never against people of coarse life that his contempt was expressed； while poverty o
