anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第2章
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he saw that anybody might walk in at the back part； and knew that there was no security obtained by barring the front door。 〃THIS；〃 says his son； 〃was madness； you may see； and would have been discoverable in other instances of the prevalence of imagination； but that poverty prevented it from playing such tricks as riches and leisure encourage。〃 Michael was a man of still larger size and greater strength than his son； who was reckoned very like him； but did not delight in talking much of his family： 〃One has；〃 says he； 〃SO little pleasure in reciting the anecdotes of beggary。〃 One day； however； hearing me praise a favourite friend with partial tenderness as well as true esteem： 〃Why do you like that man's acquaintance so？〃 said he。 〃Because；〃 replied I； 〃he is open and confiding； and tells me stories of his uncles and cousins； I love the light parts of a solid character。〃 〃Nay； if you are for family history；〃 says Mr。 Johnson； good…humouredly； 〃_I_ can fit you： I had an uncle； Cornelius Ford； who； upon a journey； stopped and read an inscription written on a stone he saw standing by the wayside； set up； as it proved； in honour of a man who had leaped a certain leap thereabouts； the extent of which was specified upon the stone： 'Why now；' says my uncle； 'I could leap it in my boots；' and he did leap it in his boots。 I had likewise another uncle； Andrew；〃 continued he； 〃my father's brother； who kept the ring in Smithfield （where they wrestled and boxed） for a whole year； and never was thrown or conquered。 Here now are uncles for you； Mistress； if that's the way to your heart。〃 Mr。 Johnson was very conversant in the art of attack and defence by boxing； which science he had learned from this uncle Andrew； I believe； and I have heard him descant upon the age when people were received； and when rejected； in the schools once held for that brutal amusement； much to the admiration of those who had no expectation of his skill in such matters； from the sight of a figure which precluded all possibility of personal prowess； though； because he saw Mr。 Thrale one day leap over a cabriolet stool； to show that he was not tired after a chase of fifty miles or more； HE suddenly jumped over it too； but in a way so strange and so unwieldy； that our terror lest he should break his bones took from us even the power of laughing。
Michael Johnson was past fifty years old when he married his wife； who was upwards of forty； yet I think her son told me she remained three years childless before he was born into the world； who so greatly contributed to improve it。 In three years more she brought another son； Nathaniel； who lived to be twenty…seven or twenty…eight years old； and of whose manly spirit I have heard his brother speak with pride and pleasure； mentioning one circumstance； particular enough； that when the company were one day lamenting the badness of the roads； he inquired where they could be； as he travelled the country more than most people； and had never seen a bad road in his life。 The two brothers did not； however； much delight in each other's company； being always rivals for the mother's fondness； and many of the severe reflections on domestic life in Rasselas took their source from its author's keen recollections of the time passed in his early years。 Their father； Michael； died of an inflammatory fever at the age of seventy…six； as Mr。 Johnson told me； their mother at eighty…nine； of a gradual decay。 She was slight in her person； he said； and rather below than above the common size。 So excellent was her character； and so blameless her life； that when an oppressive neighbour once endeavoured to take from her a little field she possessed； he could persuade no attorney to undertake the cause against a woman so beloved in her narrow circle： and it is this incident he alludes to in the line of his 〃Vanity of Human Wishes；〃 calling her
〃The general favourite as the general friend。〃
Nor could any one pay more willing homage to such a character； though she had not been related to him； than did Dr。 Johnson on every occasion that offered： his disquisition on Pope's epitaph placed over Mrs。 Corbet is a proof of that preference always given by him to a noiseless life over a bustling one； but however taste begins； we almost always see that it ends in simplicity； the glutton finishes by losing his relish for anything highly sauced； and calls for his boiled chicken at the close of many years spent in the search of dainties； the connoisseurs are soon weary of Rubens； and the critics of Lucan； and the refinements of every kind heaped upon civil life always sicken their possessors before the close of it。
At the age of two years Mr。 Johnson was brought up to London by his mother； to be touched by Queen Anne for the scrofulous evil； which terribly afflicted his childhood； and left such marks as greatly disfigured a countenance naturally harsh and rugged； beside doing irreparable damage to the auricular organs； which never could perform their functions since I knew him； and it was owing to that horrible disorder； too； that one eye was perfectly useless to him； that defect； however； was not observable； the eyes looked both alike。 As Mr。 Johnson had an astonishing memory； I asked him if he could remember Queen Anne at all？ 〃He had；〃 he said； 〃a confused； but somehow a sort of solemn； recollection of a lady in diamonds； and a long black hood。〃
The christening of his brother he remembered with all its circumstances； and said his mother taught him to spell and pronounce the words 'little Natty；' syllable by syllable； making him say it over in the evening to her husband and his guests。 The trick which most parents play with their children； that of showing off their newly…acquired accomplishments； disgusted Mr。 Johnson beyond expression。 He had been treated so himself； he said； till he absolutely loathed his father's caresses； because he knew they were sure to precede some unpleasing display of his early abilities； and he used； when neighbours came o' visiting； to run up a tree that he might not be found and exhibited； such； as no doubt he was； a prodigy of early understanding。 His epitaph upon the duck he killed by treading on it at five years old
〃Here lies poor duck That Samuel Johnson trod on； If it had liv'd it had been good luck； For it would have been an odd one〃
is a striking example of early expansion of mind and knowledge of language； yet he always seemed more mortified at the recollection of the bustle his parents made with his wit than pleased with the thoughts of possessing it。 〃That；〃 said he to me one day； 〃is the great misery of late marriages； the unhappy produce of them becomes the plaything of dotage。 An old man's child；〃 continued he； 〃leads much such a life。 I think； as a little boy's dog； teased with awkward fondness； and forced； perhaps； to sit up and beg； as we call it； to divert a company； who at last go away complaining of their disagreeable entertainment。〃 In consequence of these maxims； and full of indignation against such parents as delight to produce their young ones early into the talking world； I have known Mr。 Johnson give a good deal of pain by refusing to hear the verses the children could recite； or the songs they could sing； particularly one friend who told him that his two sons should repeat Gray's 〃Elegy〃 to him alternately； that he might judge who had the happiest cadence。 〃No； pray； sir；〃 said he； 〃let the dears both speak it at once； more noise will by that means be made； and the noise will be sooner over。〃 He told me the story himself； but I have forgot who the father was。
Mr。 Johnson's mother was daughter to a gentleman in the country； such as there were many of in those days； who possessing； perhaps； one or two hundred pounds a year in land； lived on the profits； and sought not to increase their income。 She was； therefore； inclined to think higher of herself than of her husband； whose conduct in money matters being but indifferent； she had a trick of teasing him about it； and was； by her son's account； very importunate with regard to her fears of spending more than they could afford； though she never arrived at knowing how much that was； a fault common； as he said； to most women who pride themselves on their economy。 They did not； however； as I could understand； live ill together on the whole。 〃My father；〃 says he； 〃could always take his horse and ride away for orders when things went badly。〃 The lady's maiden name was Ford； and the parson who sits next to the punch…bowl in Hogarth's 〃Modern Midnight Conversation〃 was her brother's son。 This Ford was a man who chose to be eminent only for vice； with talents that might have made him conspicuous in literature； and respectable in any profession he could have chosen。 His cousin has mentioned him in the lives of Fenton and of Broome； and when he spoke of him to me it was always with tenderness； praising his acquaintance with life and manners； and recollecting one piece of advice that no man surely ever followed more exactly： 〃Obtain；〃 says Ford； 〃some general principles of every science； he who can talk only on one subject； or act only in one department； is seldom wanted； and perhaps never wished for； while the man of general knowledge can often benefit； and always please。〃 He used to relate； however； another story less to the credit of his cousin's penetration； how Ford on some occasion said to him； 〃You will make your way the more easily in the world； I see； as you are contented to dispute no man's claim to conversation excellence； they will； therefore； more willingly allow your pretensions as a writer。〃 Can one； on such an occasion； forbear recollecting the predictions of Boileau's father； when stroking the head of the young satirist？〃Ce petit bon homme；〃 says he； 〃n'a point trop d'esprit； MAIS IL ne dira jamais mal de personne。〃 Such are the prognostics formed by men of wit and sense； as these two certainly were； concerning the future character and conduct of those for whose welfare they were honestly and deeply concerned； and so late do those features of peculiarity come to their growth； which mark a character to all succeeding generations。
Dr。 Johnson first learned to read of his mother and her old maid Catharine； in whose lap he well remembered sitting while she explained to him the story of St。 George and the Dragon。 I know not whether this is the proper place to add that such was his tenderness； and such his gratitude； that he took a journey to Lichfield fifty…seven years afterwards to support and comfort her in her last illness； he had inquired for his nurse； and she was dead。 The recollection of such reading as had delighted him in his infancy made him always persist in fancying that it was the only reading which could please an infant； and he used to condemn me for putting Newbery's books into their hands as too trifling to engage their attention。 〃Babies do not want；〃 said he； 〃to hear about babies； they like to be told of giants and castles； and of somewhat which can stretch and stimulate their little minds。〃 When in answer I would urge the numerous editions and quick sale of 〃Tommy Prudent〃 or 〃Goody Two…Shoes。〃 〃Remember always；〃 said he； 〃that the parents BUY the books； and that the chi
