anecdotes of the late samuel johnson-第3章

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or　〃Goody　Two…Shoes。〃　　〃Remember　always；〃　said　he；　〃that　the　parents　BUY　the　books；　and　that　the　children　never　read　them。〃　Mrs。　Barbauld；　however；　had　his　best　praise；　and　deserved　it；　no　man　was　more　struck　than　Mr。　Johnson　with　voluntary　descent　from　possible　splendour　to　painful　duty。

At　eight　years　old　he　went　to　school；　for　his　health　would　not　permit　him　to　be　sent　sooner；　and　at　the　age　of　ten　years　his　mind　was　disturbed　by　scruples　of　infidelity；　which　preyed　upon　his　spirits　and　made　him　very　uneasy；　the　more　so　as　he　revealed　his　uneasiness　to　no　one；　being　naturally；　as　he　said；　〃of　a　sullen　temper　and　reserved　disposition。〃　　He　searched；　however；　diligently　but　fruitlessly；　for　evidences　of　the　truth　of　revelation；　and　at　length；　recollecting　a　book　he　had　once　seen　in　his　father's　shop；　entitled　〃De　Veritate　Religionis；〃　etc。；　he　began　to　think　himself　highly　culpable　for　neglecting　such　a　means　of　information；　and　took　himself　severely　to　task　for　this　sin；　adding　many　acts　of　voluntary；　and　to　others　unknown；　penance。　　The　first　opportunity　which　offered；　of　course；　he　seized　the　book　with　avidity；　but　on　examination；　not　finding　himself　scholar　enough　to　peruse　its　contents；　set　his　heart　at　rest；　and；　not　thinking　to　inquire　whether　there　were　any　English　books　written　on　the　subject；　followed　his　usual　amusements；　and　considered　his　conscience　as　lightened　of　a　crime。　　He　redoubled　his　diligence　to　learn　the　language　that　contained　the　information　he　most　wished　for；　but　from　the　pain　which　guilt　had　given　him　he　now　began　to　deduce　the　soul's　immortality；　which　was　the　point　that　belief　first　stopped　at；　and　from　that　moment；　resolving　to　be　a　Christian；　became　one　of　the　most　zealous　and　pious　ones　our　nation　ever　produced。　　When　he　had　told　me　this　odd　anecdote　of　his　childhood；　〃I　cannot　imagine；〃　said　he；　〃what　makes　me　talk　of　myself　to　you　so；　for　I　really　never　mentioned　this　foolish　story　to　anybody　except　Dr。　Taylor；　not　even　to　my　DEAR；　DEAR　Bathurst；　whom　I　loved　better　than　ever　I　loved　any　human　creature；　but　poor　Bathurst　is　dead！〃　　Here　a　long　pause　and　a　few　tears　ensued。　　〃Why；　sir；〃　said　I；　〃how　like　is　all　this　to　Jean　Jacques　Rousseauas　like；　I　mean；　as　the　sensations　of　frost　and　fire；　when　my　child　complained　yesterday　that　the　ice　she　was　eating　BURNED　her　mouth。〃　Mr。　Johnson　laughed　at　the　incongruous　ideas；　but　the　first　thing　which　presented　itself　to　the　mind　of　an　ingenious　and　learned　friend　whom　I　had　the　pleasure　to　pass　some　time　with　here　at　Florence　was　the　same　resemblance；　though　I　think　the　two　characters　had　little　in　common；　further　than　an　early　attention　to　things　beyond　the　capacity　of　other　babies；　a　keen　sensibility　of　right　and　wrong；　and　a　warmth　of　imagination　little　consistent　with　sound　and　perfect　health。　　I　have　heard　him　relate　another　odd　thing　of　himself　too；　but　it　is　one　which　everybody　has　heard　as　well　as　me：　　how；　when　he　was　about　nine　years　old；　having　got　the　play　of　Hamlet　in　his　hand；　and　reading　it　quietly　in　his　father's　kitchen；　he　kept　on　steadily　enough　till；　coming　to　the　Ghost　scene；　he　suddenly　hurried　upstairs　to　the　street　door　that　he　might　see　people　about　him。　Such　an　incident；　as　he　was　not　unwilling　to　relate　it；　is　probably　in　every　one's　possession　now；　he　told　it　as　a　testimony　to　the　merits　of　Shakespeare。　　But　one　day；　when　my　son　was　going　to　school；　and　dear　Dr。　Johnson　followed　as　far　as　the　garden　gate；　praying　for　his　salvation　in　a　voice　which　those　who　listened　attentively　could　hear　plain　enough；　he　said　to　me　suddenly；　〃Make　your　boy　tell　you　his　dreams：　　the　first　corruption　that　entered　into　my　heart　was　communicated　in　a　dream。〃　　〃What　was　it；　sir？〃　said　I。　　〃Do　not　ask　me；〃　replied　he；　with　much　violence；　and　walked　away　in　apparent　agitation。　　I　never　durst　make　any　further　inquiries。　　He　retained　a　strong　aversion　for　the　memory　of　Hunter；　one　of　his　schoolmasters；　who；　he　said；　once　was　a　brutal　fellow；　〃so　brutal；〃　added　he；　〃that　no　man　who　had　been　educated　by　him　ever　sent　his　son　to　the　same　school。〃　　I　have；　however；　heard　him　acknowledge　his　scholarship　to　be　very　great。　　His　next　master　he　despised；　as　knowing　less　than　himself；　I　found；　but　the　name　of　that　gentleman　has　slipped　my　memory。　　Mr。　Johnson　was　himself　exceedingly　disposed　to　the　general　indulgence　of　children；　and　was　even　scrupulously　and　ceremoniously　attentive　not　to　offend　them；　he　had　strongly　persuaded　himself　of　the　difficulty　people　always　find　to　erase　early　impressions　either　of　kindness　or　resentment；　and　said　〃he　should　never　have　so　loved　his　mother　when　a　man　had　she　not　given　him　coffee　she　could　ill　afford；　to　gratify　his　appetite　when　a　boy。〃　　〃If　you　had　had　children；　sir；〃　said　I；　〃would　you　have　taught　them　anything？〃　　〃I　hope；〃　replied　he；　〃that　I　should　have　willingly　lived　on　bread　and　water　to　obtain　instruction　for　them；　but　I　would　not　have　set　their　future　friendship　to　hazard　for　the　sake　of　thrusting　into　their　heads　knowledge　of　things　for　which　they　might　not　perhaps　have　either　taste　or　necessity。　You　teach　your　daughters　the　diameters　of　the　planets；　and　wonder　when　you　have　done　that　they　do　not　delight　in　your　company。　　No　science　can　be　communicated　by　mortal　creatures　without　attention　from　the　scholar；　no　attention　can　be　obtained　from　children　without　the　infliction　of　pain；　and　pain　is　never　remembered　without　resentment。〃　　That　something　should　be　learned　was；　however；　so　certainly　his　opinion　that　I　have　heard　him　say　how　education　had　been　often　compared　to　agriculture；　yet　that　it　resembled　it　chiefly　in　this：　　〃That　if　nothing　is　sown；　no　crop；〃　says　he；　〃can　be　obtained。〃　　His　contempt　of　the　lady　who　fancied　her　son　could　be　eminent　without　study；　because　Shakespeare　was　found　wanting　in　scholastic　learning；　was　expressed　in　terms　so　gross　and　so　well　known；　I　will　not　repeat　them　here。

To　recollect；　however；　and　to　repeat　the　sayings　of　Dr。　Johnson；　is　almost　all　that　can　be　done　by　the　writers　of　his　life；　as　his　life；　at　least　since　my　acquaintance　with　him；　consisted　in　little　else　than　talking；　when　he　was　not　absolutely　employed　in　some　serious　piece　of　work；　and　whatever　work　he　did　seemed　so　much　below　his　powers　of　performance　that　he　appeared　the　idlest　of　all　human　beings；　ever　musing　till　he　was　called　out　to　converse；　and　conversing　till　the　fatigue　of　his　friends；　or　the　promptitude　of　his　own　temper　to　take　offence；　consigned　him　back　again　to　silent　meditation。

The　remembrance　of　what　had　passed　in　his　own　childhood　made　Mr。　Johnson　very　solicitous　to　preserve　the　felicity　of　children：　　and　when　he　had　persuaded　Dr。　　Sumner　to　remit　the　tasks　usually　given　to　fill　up　boys'　time　during　the　holidays；　he　rejoiced　exceedingly　in　the　success　of　his　negotiation；　and　told　me　that　he　had　never　ceased　representing　to　all　the　eminent　schoolmasters　in　England　the　absurd　tyranny　of　poisoning　the　hour　of　permitted　pleasure　by　keeping　future　misery　before　the　children's　eyes；　and　tempting　them　by　bribery　or　falsehood　to　evade　it。　　〃Bob　Sumner；〃　said　he；　〃however；　I　have　at　length　prevailed　upon。　　I　know　not；　indeed；　whether　his　tenderness　was　persuaded；　or　his　reason　convinced；　but　the　effect　will　always　be　the　same。　　Poor　Dr。　Sumner　died；　however；　before　the　next　vacation。〃

Mr。　Johnson　was　of　opinion；　too；　that　young　people　should　have　POSITIVE；　not　GENERAL；　rules　given　for　their　direction。　　〃My　mother；〃　said　he；　〃was　always　telling　me　that　I　did　not　BEHAVE　myself　properly；　that　I　should　endeavour　to　learn　BEHAVIOUR；　and　such　cant；　but　when　I　replied　that　she　ought　to　tell　me　what　to　do；　and　what　to　avoid；　her　admonitions　were　commonly；　for　that　time　at　least；　at　an　end。〃

This　I　fear　was；　however；　at　best　a　momentary　refuge　found　out　by　perverseness。　　No　man　knew　better　than　Johnson　in　how　many　nameless　and　numberless　actions　BEHAVIOUR　consistsactions　which　can　scarcely　be　reduced　to　rule；　and　which　come　under　no　description。　　Of　these　he　retained　so　many　very　strange　ones；　that　I　suppose　no　one　who　saw　his　odd　manner　of　gesticulating　much　blamed　or　wondered　at　the　good　lady's　solicitude　concerning　her　son's　BEHAVIOUR。

Though　he　was　attentive　to　the　peace　of　children　in　general；　no　man　had　a　stronger　contempt　than　he　for　such　parents　as　openly　profess　that　they　cannot　govern　their　children。　　〃How；〃　says　he；　〃is　an　army　governed？　　Such　people；　for　the　most　part；　multiply　prohibitions　till　obedience　becomes　impossible；　and　authority　appears　absurd；　and　never　suspect　that　they　tease　their　family；　their　friends；　and　themselves；　only　because　conversation　runs　low；　and　something　must　be　said。〃

Of　parental　authority；　indeed；　few　people　thought　with　a　lower　degree　of　estimation。　　I　one　day　mentioned　the　resignation　of　Cyrus　to　his　father's　will；　as　related　by　Xenophon；　when；　after　all　his　conquests；　he　requested　the　consent　of　Cambyses　to　his　marriage　with　a　neighbouring　princess；　and　I　added　Rollin's　applause　and　recommendation　of　the　example。　　〃Do　you　not　perceive；　then；〃　says　Johnson；　〃that　Xenophon　on　this　occasion　commends　like　a　pedant；　and　Pere　Rollin　applauds　like　a　slave？　　If　Cyrus　by　his　conquests　had　not　purchased　emancipation；　he　had　conquered　to　little　purpose　indeed。　　Can　you　forbear　to　see　the　folly　of　a　fellow　who　has　in　his　care　the　lives　of　thousands；　when　he　begs　his　papa　permission　to　be　married；　and　confesses　his　inability　to　decide　in　a　matter　which　concerns　no　man's　happiness　but　his　own？〃　　Mr。　Johnson　caught　me　another　time　reprimanding　the　daughter　of　my　housekeeper　for　having　sat　down　unpermitted　in　her　mother's　presence。　　〃Why；　she　gets　her　living；　does　she　not；〃　said　he；　〃without　her　mother's　help？　　Let　the　wench　alone；〃　continued　he。　　And　when　we　were　again　out　of　the　women's　sight　who　were　concerned　in　the　dispute：　　〃Poor　people's　children；　dear　lady；〃　said　he；　〃never　respect　them。　　I　did　not　respect　my　own　mother；　though　I　loved　her。　　And　one　day；　when　in　anger　she　called　me　a　puppy；　I　asked　her　if　she　knew　what　they　called　a　puppy's　mother。〃　　We　were　talking　of　a　young　fellow　who　used　to　come　often　to　the　house；　he　was　about　fifteen　years　old；　or　less；　if　I　remember　right；　and　had　a　manner　at　once　sullen　and　sheepish。　　〃That　lad；〃　says　Mr。　Johnson；　〃looks　like　the　son　of　a　schoolmaster；　which；〃　added　he；　〃is　one　of　the　very　worst　conditions　of　childhood。　　Such　a　boy　has　no　father；　or　worse　than　none；　he　never　can　reflect　on　his　parent　but　the　reflection　brings　to　his　mind　some　idea　of　pain　inflicted；　or　of　sorrow　suffered。〃

I　will　relate　one　thing　more　that　Dr。　Johnson　said　about　babyhood　before　I　quit　the　subject；　it　was　this：　　〃That　little　people　should　be　encouraged　always　to　tell　whatever　they　hear　particularly　striking　to　some　brother；　sister；　or　servant　immediately；　before　the　impression　is　erased　by　the　intervention　of　newer　occurrences。　　He　perfectly　remembered　the　first　time　he　ever　heard　of　Heaven　and　Hell；〃　he　said；　〃because　when　his　mother　had　made　out　such　a　description　of　both　places　as　she　thought　likely　to　seize　the　attention　of　her　infant　auditor；　who　was　then　in　bed　with　her；　she　got　up；　and　dressing　him　before　the　usual　time；　sent　him　directly　to　call　a　favourite　workman　in　the　house；　to　whom　he　knew　he　would　communicate　the　conversation　whi