vanity fair(名利场)-第143章

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of　the　Prisoners；　over　which　the　delightful　voice　of　the
actress　rose　and　soared　in　the　most　ravishing　harmony；
the　English　lady's　face　wore　such　an　expression　of　wonder
and　delight　that　it　struck　even　little　Fipps；　the　blase
attache；　who　drawled　out；　as　he　fixed　his　glass　upon　her；
〃Gayd；　it　really　does　one　good　to　see　a　woman　caypable
of　that　stayt　of　excaytement。〃　And　in　the　Prison　Scene；
where　Fidelio；　rushing　to　her　husband；　cries；　〃Nichts；
nichts；　mein　Florestan；〃　she　fairly　lost　herself　and
covered　her　face　with　her　handkerchief。　　Every　woman　in　the
house　was　snivelling　at　the　time；　but　I　suppose　it　was
because　it　was　predestined　that　I　was　to　write　this
particular　lady's　memoirs　that　I　remarked　her。
The　next　day　they　gave　another　piece　of　Beethoven；
Die　Schlacht　bei　Vittoria。　　Malbrook　is　introduced　at　the
beginning　of　the　performance；　as　indicative　of　the　brisk
advance　of　the　French　army。　　Then　come　drums；　trumpets；
thunders　of　artillery；　and　groans　of　the　dying；　and　at　last；
in　a　grand　triumphal　swell；　〃God　Save　the　King〃　is
performed。
There　may　have　been　a　score　of　Englishmen　in　the
house；　but　at　the　burst　of　that　beloved　and　well…known
music；　every　one　of　them；　we　young　fellows　in　the　stalls；
Sir　John　and　Lady　Bullminster　（who　had　taken　a　house
at　Pumpernickel　for　the　education　of　their　nine
children）；　the　fat　gentleman　with　the　mustachios；　the　long
Major　in　white　duck　trousers；　and　the　lady　with　the　little
boy　upon　whom　he　was　so　sweet；　even　Kirsch；　the　courier
in　the　gallery；　stood　bolt　upright　in　their　places　and
proclaimed　themselves　to　be　members　of　the　dear　old　British
nation。　　As　for　Tapeworm；　the　Charge　d'Affaires；　he　rose
up　in　his　box　and　bowed　and　simpered；　as　if　he　would
represent　the　whole　empire。　　Tapeworm　was　nephew　and
heir　of　old　Marshal　Tiptoff；　who　has　been　introduced　in
this　story　as　General　Tiptoff；　just　before　Waterloo；　who
was　Colonel　of　the　th　regiment　in　which　Major　Dobbin
served；　and　who　died　in　this　year　full　of　honours；　and　of
an　aspic　of　plovers'　eggs；　when　the　regiment　was　graciously
given　by　his　Majesty　to　Colonel　Sir　Michael　O'Dowd；
K。C。B。　　who　had　commanded　it　in　many　glorious　fields。
Tapeworm　must　have　met　with　Colonel　Dobbin　at　the
house　of　the　Colonel's　Colonel；　the　Marshal；　for　he
recognized　him　on　this　night　at　the　theatre；　and　with　the
utmost　condescension；　his　Majesty's　minister　came　over
from　his　own　box　and　publicly　shook　hands　with　his
new…found　friend。
〃Look　at　that　infernal　sly…boots　of　a　Tapeworm；〃
Fipps　whispered；　examining　his　chief　from　the　stalls。
〃Wherever　there's　a　pretty　woman　he　always　twists
himself　in。〃　And　I　wonder　what　were　diplomatists　made　for
but　for　that？
〃Have　I　the　honour　of　addressing　myself　to　Mrs。
Dobbin？〃　asked　the　Secretary　with　a　most　insinuating　grin。
Georgy　burst　out　laughing　and　said；　〃By　Jove；　that　was
a　good　'un。〃　Emmy　and　the　Major　blushed：　　we　saw　them
from　the　stalls。
〃This　lady　is　Mrs。　George　Osborne；〃　said　the　Major；
〃and　this　is　her　brother；　Mr。　Sedley；　a　distinguished
officer　of　the　Bengal　Civil　Service：　　permit　me　to　introduce
him　to　your　lordship。〃
My　lord　nearly　sent　Jos　off　his　legs　with　the　most
fascinating　smile。　　〃Are　you　going　to　stop　in　Pumpernickel？〃
he　said。　　〃It　is　a　dull　place；　but　we　want　some　nice　people；
and　we　would　try　and　make　it　SO　agreeable　to　you。　　Mr。
AhumMrs。Oho。　　I　shall　do　myself　the　honour　of　calling
upon　you　to…morrow　at　your　inn。〃　And　he　went　away
with　a　Parthian　grin　and　glance　which　he　thought　must
finish　Mrs。　Osborne　completely。
The　performance　over；　the　young　fellows　lounged　about
the　lobbies；　and　we　saw　the　society　take　its　departure。
The　Duchess　Dowager　went　off　in　her　jingling　old　coach；
attended　by　two　faithful　and　withered　old　maids　of
honour；　and　a　little　snuffy　spindle…shanked　gentleman　in
waiting；　in　a　brown　jasey　and　a　green　coat　covered　with
ordersof　which　the　star　and　the　grand　yellow　cordon　of
the　order　of　St。　　Michael　of　Pumpernickel　were　most
conspicuous。　　The　drums　rolled；　the　guards　saluted；　and　the
old　carriage　drove　away。
Then　came　his　Transparency　the　Duke　and　Transparent
family；　with　his　great　officers　of　state　and　household。　　He
bowed　serenely　to　everybody。　　And　amid　the　saluting　of
the　guards　and　the　flaring　of　the　torches　of　the　running
footmen；　clad　in　scarlet；　the　Transparent　carriages　drove
away　to　the　old　Ducal　schloss；　with　its　towers　and
pinacles　standing　on　the　schlossberg。　　Everybody　in
Pumpernickel　knew　everybody。　　No　sooner　was　a　foreigner　seen
there　than　the　Minister　of　Foreign　Affairs；　or　some　other
great　or　small　officer　of　state；　went　round　to　the　Erbprinz
and　found　out　the　name　of　the　new　arrival。
We　watched　them；　too；　out　of　the　theatre。　　Tapeworm
had　just　walked　off；　enveloped　in　his　cloak；　with　which
his　gigantic　chasseur　was　always　in　attendance；　and
looking　as　much　as　possible　like　Don　Juan。　　The　Prime
Minister's　lady　had　just　squeezed　herself　into　her　sedan；
and　her　daughter；　the　charming　Ida；　had　put　on　her
calash　and　clogs；　when　the　English　party　came　out；　the
boy　yawning　drearily；　the　Major　taking　great　pains　in
keeping　the　shawl　over　Mrs。　Osborne's　head；　and　Mr。
Sedley　looking　grand；　with　a　crush　opera…hat　on　one　side
of　his　head　and　his　hand　in　the　stomach　of　a　voluminous
white　waistcoat。　　We　took　off　our　hats　to　our　acquaintances
of　the　table　d'hote；　and　the　lady；　in　return；　presented　us
with　a　little　smile　and　a　curtsey；　for　which
everybody　might　be　thankful。
The　carriage　from　the　inn；　under　the　superintendence
of　the　bustling　Mr。　Kirsch；　was　in　waiting　to　convey　the
party；　but　the　fat　man　said　he　would　walk　and　smoke　his
cigar　on　his　way　homewards；　so　the　other　three；　with
nods　and　smiles　to　us；　went　without　Mr。　Sedley；　Kirsch；
with　the　cigar　case；　following　in　his　master's　wake。
We　all　walked　together　and　talked　to　the　stout　gentleman
about　the　agremens　of　the　place。　　It　was　very　agreeable
for　the　English。　　There　were　shooting…parties　and
battues；　there　was　a　plenty　of　balls　and　entertainments　at
the　hospitable　Court；　the　society　was　generally　good；　the
theatre　excellent；　and　the　living　cheap。
〃And　our　Minister　seems　a　most　delightful　and　affable
person；〃　our　new　friend　said。　　'~With　such　a　representative；
andand　a　good　medical　man；　I　can　fancy　the　place　to
be　most　eligible。　　Good…night；　gentlemen。〃　And　Jos
creaked　up　the　stairs　to　bedward；　followed　by　Kirsch　with
a　flambeau。　　We　rather　hoped　that　nice…looking　woman
would　be　induced　to　stay　some　time　in　the　town。

CHAPTER　LXIII
In　Which　We　Meet　an　Old　Acquaintance
Such　polite　behaviour　as　that　of　Lord　Tapeworm　did
not　fail　to　have　the　most　favourable　effect　upon　Mr。
Sedley's　mind；　and　the　very　next　morning；　at　breakfast；　he
pronounced　his　opinion　that　Pumpernickel　was　the
pleasantest　little　place　of　any　which　he　had　visited　on　their
tour。　　Jos's　motives　and　artifices　were　not　very　difficult
of　comprehension；　and　Dobbin　laughed　in　his　sleeve；　like
a　hypocrite　as　he　was；　when　he　found；　by　the　knowing　air
of　the　civilian　and　the　offhand　manner　in　which　the
latter　talked　about　Tapeworm　Castle　and　the　other　members
of　the　family；　that　Jos　had　been　up　already　in　the　morning；
consulting　his　travelling　Peerage。　　Yes；　he　had　seen
the　Right　Honourable　the　Earl　of　Bagwig；　his　lordship's
father；　he　was　sure　he　had；　he　had　met　him　atat　the
Leveedidn't　Dob　remember？　and　when　the　Diplomatist
called　on　the　party；　faithful　to　his　promise；　Jos　received
him　with　such　a　salute　and　honours　as　were　seldom
accorded　to　the　little　Envoy。　　He　winked　at　Kirsch　on　his
Excellency's　arrival；　and　that　emissary；　instructed　before…
hand；　went　out　and　superintended　an　entertainment　of
cold　meats；　jellies；　and　other　delicacies；　brought　in　upon
trays；　and　of　which　Mr。　Jos　absolutely　insisted　that　his
noble　guest　should　partake。
Tapeworm；　so　long　as　he　could　have　an　opportunity　of
admiring　the　bright　eyes　of　Mrs。　Osborne　（whose　freshness
of　complexion　bore　daylight　remarkably　well）　was
not　ill　pleased　to　accept　any　invitation　to　stay　in　Mr。
Sedley's　lodgings；　he　put　one　or　two　dexterous　questions
to　him　about　India　and　the　dancing…girls　there；　asked
Amelia　about　that　beautiful　boy　who　had　been　with　her；
and　complimented　the　astonished　little　woman　upon　the
prodigious　sensation　which　she　had　made　in　the　house；
and　tried　to　fascinate　Dobbin　by　talking　of　the　late　war
and　the　exploits　of　the　Pumpernickel　contingent　under　the
command　of　the　Hereditary　Prince；　now　Duke　of
Pumpernickel。
Lord　Tapeworm　inherited　no　little　portion　of　the　family
gallantry；　and　it　was　his　happy　belief　that　almost　every
woman　upon　whom　he　himself　cast　friendly　eyes　was　in
love　with　him。　　He　left　Emmy　under　the　persuasion　that
she　was　slain　by　his　wit　and　attractions　and　went　home　to
his　lodgings　to　write　a　pretty　little　note　to　her。　　She　was
not　fascinated；　only　puzzled；　by　his　grinning；　his　simpering；
his　scented　cambric　handkerchief；　and　his　high…heeled
lacquered　boots。　　She　did　not　understand　one…half　the
compliments　which　he　paid；　she　had　never；　in　her　small
experience　of　mankind；　met　a　professional　ladies'　man　as
yet；　and　looked　upon　my　lord　as　something　curious　rather
than　pleasant；　and　if　she　did　not　admire；　certainly
wondered　at　him。　　Jos；　on　the　contrary；　was　delighted。　　〃How
very　affable　his　Lordship　is；〃　he　said；　〃How　very　kind　of
his　Lordship　to　say　he　would　send　his　medical　man！
Kirsch；　you　will　carry　our　cards　to　the　Count　de
Schlusselback　directly；　the　Major　and　I　will　have　the
greatest　pleasure　in　paying　our　respects　at　Court　as　soon
as　possible。　　Put　out　my　uniform；　Kirschboth　our
uniforms。　　It　is　a　mark　of　politeness　which　every　English
gentleman　ought　to　show　to　the　countries　which　he　visits
to　pay　his　respects　to　the　sovereigns　of　those　countries
as　to　the　representatives　of　his　own。〃
When　Tapeworm's　doctor　came；　Doctor　von　Glauber；
Body　Physician　to　H。S。H。　　the　Duke；　he　speedily
convinced　Jos　that　the　Pumpernickel　mineral　springs　and
the　Doctor's　particular　treatment　would　infallibly　restore
the　Bengalee　to　youth　and　slimness。　　〃Dere　came　here　last
year；〃　he　said；　〃Sheneral　Bulkeley；　an　English　Sheneral；
tvice　so　pic　as　you；　sir。　　I　sent　him　back　qvite　tin　after
tree　months；　and　he　danced　vid　Baroness　Glauber　at
the　end　of　two。〃
Jos's　mind　was　made　up；　the　springs；　the　Doctor；　the
Court；　and　the　Charge　d'Affaires　convinced　him；　and　he
proposed　to　spend　the　autumn　in　these　delightful
quarters。　　And　punctual　to　his　word；　on　the　next　day　the
Charge　d'Affaires　presented　Jos　and　the　Major　to　Victor
Aurelius　XVII；　being　conducted　to　their　audience　with
that　sovereign　by　the　Count　de　Schlusselback；　Marshal
of　the　Court。
They　were　straightway　invited　to　dinner　at　Court；　and
their　intention　of　staying　in　the　town　being　announced；
the　politest　ladies　of　the　whole　town　instantly　called　upon
Mrs。　Osborne；　and　as　not　one　of　these；　however　poor
they　might　be；　was　under　the　rank　of　a　Baroness；　Jos's
delight　was　beyond　expression。　　He　wrote　off　to　Chutney
at　the　Club　to　say　that　the　Service　was　highly　appreciated
in　Germany；　that　he　was　going　to　show　his　friend；　the
Count　de　Schlusselback；　how　to　stick　a　pig　in　the　Indian
fashion；　and　that　his　august　friends；　the　Duke　and