a laodicean-第56章

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Carlsruhe　was　said　in　a　moment　of　pique　at　what　had　happened
just　before　you　came　in。　　It　was　supposed　I　was　much　involved
with　another　man；　and　circumstances　made　the　supposition
particularly　objectionable。　　To　escape　it　I　jumped　at　the
alternative　of　yourself。'

'That's　bad　for　me！'　he　murmured。

'If　after　this　avowal　you　bind　me　to　my　words　I　shall　say　no
more：　　I　do　not　wish　to　recede　from　them　without　your　full
permission。'

'What　a　caprice！　　But　I　release　you　unconditionally；'　he　said。
'And　I　beg　your　pardon　if　I　seemed　to　show　too　much　assurance。
Please　put　it　down　to　my　gratified　excitement。　　I　entirely
acquiesce　in　your　wish。　　I　will　go　away　to　whatever　place　you
please；　and　not　come　near　you　but　by　your　own　permission；　and
till　you　are　quite　satisfied　that　my　presence　and　what　it　may
lead　to　is　not　undesirable。　　I　entirely　give　way　before　you；
and　will　endeavour　to　make　my　future　devotedness；　if　ever　we
meet　again；　a　new　ground　for　expecting　your　favour。'

Paula　seemed　struck　by　the　generous　and　cheerful　fairness　of
his　remarks；　and　said　gently；　'Perhaps　your　departure　is　not
absolutely　necessary　for　my　happiness；　and　I　do　not　wish　from
what　you　call　caprice'

'I　retract　that　word。'

'Well；　whatever　it　is；　I　don't　wish　you　to　do　anything　which
should　cause　you　real　pain；　or　trouble；　or　humiliation。'

'That's　very　good　of　you。'

'But　I　reserve　to　myself　the　right　to　accept　or　refuse　your
addressesjust　as　if　those　rash　words　of　mine　had　never　been
spoken。'

'I　must　bear　it　all　as　best　I　can；　I　suppose；'　said　De　Stancy；
with　melancholy　humorousness。

'And　I　shall　treat　you　as　your　behaviour　shall　seem　to
deserve；'　she　said　playfully。

'Then　I　may　stay？'

'Yes；　I　am　willing　to　give　you　that　pleasure；　if　it　is　one；　in
return　for　the　attentions　you　have　shown；　and　the　trouble　you
have　taken　to　make　my　journey　pleasant。'

She　walked　on　and　discovered　Mrs。　Goodman　near；　and　presently
the　whole　party　met　together。　　De　Stancy　did　not　find　himself
again　at　her　side　till　later　in　the　afternoon；　when　they　had
left　the　immediate　precincts　of　the　castle　and　decided　on　a
drive　to　the　Konigsstuhl。

The　carriage；　containing　only　Mrs。　Goodman；　was　driven　a　short
way　up　the　winding　incline；　Paula；　her　uncle；　and　Miss　De
Stancy　walking　behind　under　the　shadow　of　the　trees。　　Then
Mrs。　Goodman　called　to　them　and　asked　when　they　were　going　to
join　her。

'We　are　going　to　walk　up；'　said　Mr。　Power。

Paula　seemed　seized　with　a　spirit　of　boisterousness　quite
unlike　her　usual　behaviour。　　'My　aunt　may　drive　up；　and　you
may　walk　up；　but　I　shall　run　up；'　she　said。　　'See；　here's　a
way。'　　She　tripped　towards　a　path　through　the　bushes　which；
instead　of　winding　like　the　regular　track；　made　straight　for
the　summit。

Paula　had　not　the　remotest　conception　of　the　actual　distance
to　the　top；　imagining　it　to　be　but　a　couple　of　hundred　yards
at　the　outside；　whereas　it　was　really　nearer　a　mile；　the
ascent　being　uniformly　steep　all　the　way。　　When　her　uncle　and
De　Stancy　had　seen　her　vanish　they　stood　still；　the　former
evidently　reluctant　to　forsake　the　easy　ascent　for　a　difficult
one；　though　he　said；　'We　can't　let　her　go　alone　that　way；　I
suppose。'

'No；　of　course　not；'　said　De　Stancy。

They　then　followed　in　the　direction　taken　by　Paula；　Charlotte
entering　the　carriage。　　When　Power　and　De　Stancy　had　ascended
about　fifty　yards　the　former　looked　back；　and　dropped　off　from
the　pursuit；　to　return　to　the　easy　route；　giving　his　companion
a　parting　hint　concerning　Paula。　　Whereupon　De　Stancy　went　on
alone。　　He　soon　saw　Paula　above　him　in　the　path；　which
ascended　skyward　straight　as　Jacob's　Ladder；　but　was　so
overhung　by　the　brushwood　as　to　be　quite　shut　out　from　the
sun。　　When　he　reached　her　side　she　was　moving　easily　upward；
apparently　enjoying　the　seclusion　which　the　place　afforded。

'Is　not　my　uncle　with　you？'　she　said；　on　turning　and　seeing
him。

'He　went　back；'　said　De　Stancy。

She　replied　that　it　was　of　no　consequence；　that　she　should
meet　him　at　the　top；　she　supposed。

Paula　looked　up　amid　the　green　light　which　filtered　through
the　leafage　as　far　as　her　eyes　could　stretch。　　But　the　top　did
not　appear；　and　she　allowed　De　Stancy　to　get　in　front。　　'It
did　not　seem　such　a　long　way　as　this；　to　look　at；'　she
presently　said。

He　explained　that　the　trees　had　deceived　her　as　to　the　real
height；　by　reason　of　her　seeing　the　slope　foreshortened　when
she　looked　up　from　the　castle。　　'Allow　me　to　help　you；'　he
added。

'No；　thank　you；'　said　Paula　lightly；　'we　must　be　near　the
top。'

They　went　on　again；　but　no　Konigsstuhl。　　When　next　De　Stancy
turned　he　found　that　she　was　sitting　down；　immediately　going
back　he　offered　his　arm。　　She　took　it　in　silence；　declaring
that　it　was　no　wonder　her　uncle　did　not　come　that　wearisome
way；　if　he　had　ever　been　there　before。

De　Stancy　did　not　explain　that　Mr。　Power　had　said　to　him　at
parting；　'There's　a　chance　for　you；　if　you　want　one；'　but　at
once　went　on　with　the　subject　begun　on　the　terrace。　　'If　my
behaviour　is　good；　you　will　reaffirm　the　statement　made　at
Carlsruhe？'

'It　is　not　fair　to　begin　that　now！'　expostulated　Paula；　'I　can
only　think　of　getting　to　the　top。'

Her　colour　deepening　by　the　exertion；　he　suggested　that　she
should　sit　down　again　on　one　of　the　mossy　boulders　by　the
wayside。　　Nothing　loth　she　did；　De　Stancy　standing　by；　and
with　his　cane　scratching　the　moss　from　the　stone。

'This　is　rather　awkward；'　said　Paula；　in　her　usual　circumspect
way。　　'My　relatives　and　your　sister　will　be　sure　to　suspect　me
of　having　arranged　this　scramble　with　you。'

'But　I　know　better；'　sighed　De　Stancy。　　'I　wish　to　Heaven　you
had　arranged　it！'

She　was　not　at　the　top；　but　she　took　advantage　of　the　halt　to
answer　his　previous　question。　　'There　are　many　points　on　which
I　must　be　satisfied　before　I　can　reaffirm　anything。　　Do　you
not　see　that　you　are　mistaken　in　clinging　to　this　idea？that
you　are　laying　up　mortification　and　disappointment　for
yourself？'

'A　negative　reply　from　you　would　be　disappointment；　early　or
late。'

'And　you　prefer　having　it　late　to　accepting　it　now？　　If　I　were
a　man；　I　should　like　to　abandon　a　false　scent　as　soon　as
possible。'

'I　suppose　all　that　has　but　one　meaning：　　that　I　am　to　go。'

'O　no；'　she　magnanimously　assured　him；　bounding　up　from　her
seat；　'I　adhere　to　my　statement　that　you　may　stay；　though　it
is　true　something　may　possibly　happen　to　make　me　alter　my
mind。'

He　again　offered　his　arm；　and　from　sheer　necessity　she　leant
upon　it　as　before。

'Grant　me　but　a　moment's　patience；'　he　began。

'Captain　De　Stancy！　　Is　this　fair？　　I　am　physically　obliged　to
hold　your　arm；　so　that　I　MUST　listen　to　what　you　say！'

'No；　it　is　not　fair；　'pon　my　soul　it　is　not！'　said　De　Stancy。
'I　won't　say　another　word。'

He　did　not；　and　they　clambered　on　through　the　boughs；　nothing
disturbing　the　solitude　but　the　rustle　of　their　own　footsteps
and　the　singing　of　birds　overhead。　　They　occasionally　got　a
peep　at　the　sky；　and　whenever　a　twig　hung　out　in　a　position　to
strike　Paula's　face　the　gallant　captain　bent　it　aside　with　his
stick。　　But　she　did　not　thank　him。　　Perhaps　he　was　just　as
well　satisfied　as　if　she　had　done　so。

Paula；　panting；　broke　the　silence：　　'Will　you　go　on；　and
discover　if　the　top　is　near？'

He　went　on。　　This　time　the　top　was　near。　　When　he　returned　she
was　sitting　where　he　had　left　her　among　the　leaves。　　'It　is
quite　near　now；'　he　told　her　tenderly；　and　she　took　his　arm
again　without　a　word。　　Soon　the　path　changed　its　nature　from　a
steep　and　rugged　watercourse　to　a　level　green　promenade。

'Thank　you；　Captain　De　Stancy；'　she　said；　letting　go　his　arm
as　if　relieved。

Before　them　rose　the　tower；　and　at　the　base　they　beheld　two　of
their　friends；　Mr。　Power　being　seen　above；　looking　over　the
parapet　through　his　glass。

'You　will　go　to　the　top　now？'　said　De　Stancy。

'No；　I　take　no　interest　in　it。　　My　interest　has　turned　to
fatigue。　　I　only　want　to　go　home。'

He　took　her　on　to　where　the　carriage　stood　at　the　foot　of　the
tower；　and　leaving　her　with　his　sister　ascended　the　turret　to
the　top。　　The　landscape　had　quite　changed　from　its　afternoon
appearance；　and　had　become　rather　marvellous　than　beautiful。
The　air　was　charged　with　a　lurid　exhalation　that　blurred　the
extensive　view。　　He　could　see　the　distant　Rhine　at　its
junction　with　the　Neckar；　shining　like　a　thread　of　blood
through　the　mist　which　was　gradually　wrapping　up　the　declining
sun。　　The　scene　had　in　it　something　that　was　more　than
melancholy；　and　not　much　less　than　tragic；　but　for　De　Stancy
such　evening　effects　possessed　little　meaning。　　He　was　engaged
in　an　enterprise　that　taxed　all　his　resources；　and　had　no
sentiments　to　spare　for　air；　earth；　or　skies。

'Remarkable　scene；'　said　Power；　mildly；　at　his　elbow。

'Yes；　I　dare　say　it　is；'　said　De　Stancy。　　'Time　has　been　when
I　should　have　held　forth　upon　such　a　prospect；　and　wondered　if
its　livid　colours　shadowed　out　my　own　life；　et　caetera；　et
caetera。　　But；　begad；　I　have　almost　forgotten　there's　such　a
thing　as　Nature；　and　I　care　for　nothing　but　a　comfortable
life；　and　a　certain　woman　who　does　not　care　for　me！　。　。　。　　Now
shall　we　go　down？'



VIII。

It　was　quite　true　that　De　Stancy　at　the　present　period　of　his
existence　wished　only　to　escape　from　the　hurly…burly　of　active
life；　and　to　win　the　affection　of　Paula　Power。　　There　were；
however；　occasions　when　a　recollection　of　his　old　renunciatory
vows　would　obtrude　itself　upon　him；　and　tinge　his　present　with
wayward　bitterness。　　So　much　was　this　the　case　that　a　day　or
two　after　they　had　arrived　at　Mainz　he　could　not　refrain　from
making　remarks　almost　prejudicial　to　his　cause；　saying　to　her；
'I　am　unfortunate　in　my　situation。　　There　are；　unhappily；
worldly　reasons　why　I　should　pretend　to　love　you；　even　if　I　do
not：　　they　are　so　strong　that；　though　really　loving　you；
perhaps　they　enter　into　my　thoughts　of　you。'

'I　don't　want　to　know　what　such　reasons　are；'　said　Paula；　with
promptness；　for　it　required　but　little　astuteness　to　discover
that　he　alluded　to　the　alienated　Wessex　home　and　estates。
'You　lack　tone；'　she　gently　added：　　'that's　why　the　situation
of　affairs　seems　distasteful　to　you。'

'Yes；　I　suppose　I　am　ill。　　And　yet　I　am　well　enough。'

These　remarks　passed　under　a　tree　in　the　public　gardens　during
an　odd　minute　of　waiting　for　Charlotte　and　Mrs。　Goodman；　and
he　said　no　more　to　her　in　private　that　day。　　Few　as　her　words
had　been　he　liked　them　better　than　any　he　had　lately　received。
The　conversation　was　not　resumed　till　they　were　gliding
'between　the　banks　that　bear　the　vine；'　on　board　one　of　the
Rhine　steamboats；　which；　like　the　hotels　in　this　early　summer
time；　were　comparatively　free　from　other　English　travellers；
so　that　everywhere　Paula　and　her　party　were　received　with　open
arms　and　cheerful　countenances；　as　among　the　first　swallows　of
the　season。

The　saloon　of　the　steamboat　was　quite　empty；　the　few
passengers　being　outside；　and　this　paucity　of　voyagers
afforded　De　Stancy　a　roomy　opportunity。

Paula　saw　him　approach　her；　and　there　appearing　in　his　face
signs　that　he　would　begin　again　on　the　eternal　subject；　she
seemed　to　be　struck　wit