a new england girlhood-第24章

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scape　from　our　pettinesses；　as　we　all　may　and　should；　the　way　to　do　it　is　to　find　the　key　to　other　lives；　and　live　in　their　largeness；　by　sharing　their　outlook　upon　life。　Even　poorer　people's　windows　will　give　us　a　new　horizon；　and　people's　windows　will　give　us　a　new　horizon；　and　often　a　far　broader　one　than　our　own。

X。

MILL…GIRLS'　MAGAZINES

THERE　was　a　passage　from　Cowper　that　my　sister　used　to　quote　to　us；　because；　she　said；　she　often　repeated　it　to　herself；　and　found　that　it　did　her　good：

〃In　such　a　world；　so　thorny；　and　where　none　Finds　happiness　unblighted；　or　if　found；　Without　some　thistly　sorrow　at　its　side；　It　seems　the　part　of　wisdom；　and　no　sin　Against　the　law　of　love；　to　measure　lots　With　less　distinguished　than　ourselves；　that　thus　We　may　with　patience　bear　our　moderate　ills；　And　sympathize　with　others；　suffering　more。〃

I　think　she　made　us　feelshe　certainly　made　me　feelthat　our　lot　was　in　many　ways　an　unusually　fortunate　one；　and　full　of　responsibilities。　She　herself　was　always　thinking　what　she　could　do　for　others；　not　only　immediately　about　her；　but　in　the　farthest　corners　of　the　earth。　She　had　her　Sabbath…school　class；　and　visited　all　the　children　in　it：　she　sat　up　all　night；　very　often；　watching　by　a　sick　girl's　bed；　in　the　hospital　or　in　some　distant　boarding…house；　she　gave　money　to　send　to　missionaries；　or　to　help　build　new　churches　in　the　city；　when　she　was　earning　only　eight　or　ten　dollars　a　month　clear　of　her　board；　and　could　afford　herself　but　one　〃best　dress；〃　besides　her　working　clothes。　That　best　dress　was　often　nothing　but　a　Merrimack　print。　But　she　insisted　that　it　was　a　great　saving　of　trouble　to　have　just　this　one；　because　she　was　not　obliged　to　think　what　she　should　wear　if　she　were　invited　out　to　spend　an　evening。　And　she　kept　track　of　all　the　great　philanthropic　movements　of　the　day。　She　felt　deeply　the　shame　and　wrong　of　American　slavery；　and　tried　to　make　her　workmates　see　and　feel　it　too。（Petitions　to　Congress　for　the　abolition　of　slavery　in　the　District　of　Columbia　were　circulated　nearly　every　year　among　the　mill…girls；　and　received　thousands　of　signatures。）

Whenever　she　was　not　occupied　with　her　work　or　her　reading；　or　with　looking　after　us　younger　ones；two　or　three　hours　a　day　was　all　the　time　she　could　call　her　own；she　was　sure　to　be　away　on　some　errand　of　friendliness　or　mercy。

Those　who　do　most　for　others　are　always　those　who　are　called　upon　continually　to　do　a　little　more；　and　who　find　a　way　to　do　it。　People　go　to　them　as　to　a　bank　that　never　fails。　And　surely；　they　who　have　an　abundance　of　life　in　themselves　and　who　give　their　life　out　freely　to　others　are　the　only　really　rich。

Two　dollars　a　week　sounds　very　small；　but　in　Emilie's　hands　it　went　farther　than　many　a　princely　fortune　of　to…day；　because　she　managed　with　it　to　make　so　many　people　happy。　But　then　she　wanted　absolutely　nothing　for　herself；　nothing　but　the　privilege　of　helping　others。

I　seem　to　be　eulogizing　my　sister；　though　I　am　simply　relating　matters　of　fact。　I　could　not；　however；　illustrate　my　own　early　experience；　except　by　the　lives　around　me　which　most　influenced　mine。　And　it　was　true　that　our　smaller　and　more　self…centred　natures　in　touching　hers　caught　something　of　her　spirit；　the　contagion　of　her　warm　heart　and　healthy　energy。　For　health　is　more　contagious　than　disease；　and　lives　that　exhale　sweetness　around　them　from　the　inner　heaven　of　their　souls　keep　the　world　wholesome。

I　tried　to　follow　her　in　my　faltering　way；　and　was　gratified　when　she　would　send　me　to　look　up　one　of　her　stray　children；　or　would　let　me　watch　with　her　at　night　by　a　sick…bed。　I　think　it　was　partly　for　the　sake　of　keeping　as　close　to　her　as　I　could　though　not　without　a　sincere　desire　to　consecrate　myself　to　the　Bestthat　I　became；　at　about　thirteen；　a　member　of　the　church　which　we　attended。

Our　minister　was　a　scholarly　man；　of　refined　tastes　and　a　sensitive　organization；　fervently　spiritual；　and　earnestly　devoted　to　his　work。　It　was　all　education　to　grow　up　under　his　influence。　I　shall　never　forget　the　effect　left　by　the　tones　of　his　voice　when　be　first　spoke　to　me；　a　child　of　ten　years；　at　a　neighborhood　prayer…meeting　in　my　mother's　sitting…room。　He　had　been　inviting　his　listeners　to　the　friendship　of　Christ；　and　turning　to　my　little　sister　and　me；　he　said；

〃And　these　little　children；　too；　won't　they　come？〃

The　words；　and　his　manner　of　saving　them；　brought　the　tears　to　my　eyes。　Once　only　before；　far　back　in　my　earlier　childhoodI　have　already　mentioned　the　incidenthad　I　heard　that　Name　spoken　so　tenderly　and　familiarly；　yet　so　reverently。　It　was　as　if　he　had　been　gazing　into　the　face　of　an　invisible　Friend；　and　bad　just　turned　from　Him　to　look　into　ours；　while　he　gave　us　his　message；　that　He　loved　us。

In　that　moment　I　again　caught　a　glimpse　of　One　whom　I　had　always　known；　but　had　often　forgotten；One　who　claimed　me　as　his　Father's　child；　and　would　never　let　me　go。　It　was　a　real　Face　that　I　saw；　a　real　Voice　that　I　heard；　a　real　Person　who　was　calling　me。　I　could　not　mistake　the　Presence　that　had　so　often　drawn　near　me　and　shone　with　sunlike　eyes　into　my　soul。　The　words；　〃Lord；　lift　Thou　up　the　light　of　thy　countenance　upon　us！〃　had　always　given　me　the　feeling　that　a　beautiful　sunrise　does。　It　is　indeed　a　sunrise　text；　for　is　not　He　the　Light　of　the　World？

And　peaceful　sunshine　seemed　pouring　in　at　the　windows　of　my　life　on　the　day　when　I　stood　in　the　aisle　before　the　pulpit　with　a　group；　who；　though　young；　were　all　much　older　than　myself；　and　took　with　them　the　vows　that　bound　us　to　his　service。　Of　what　was　then　said　and　read　I　scarcely　remember　more　than　the　words　of　heavenly　welcome　in　the　Epistle；　〃Now　therefore　ye　are　no　more　strangers　and　foreigners。〃　It　was　like　coming　home；　like　stepping　a　little　farther　beyond　the　threshold　in　at　the　open　door　of　our　Father's　house。

Perhaps　I　was　too　young　to　assume　those　vows。　Had　I　deferred　it　a　few　years　there　would　have　been　serious　intellectual　hindrances。　But　it　was　not　the　Articles　of　Faith　I　was　thinking　of；　although　there　was　a　long　list　of　them；　to　which　we　all　bowed　assent；　as　was　the　custom。　It　was　the　homecoming　to　the　〃house　not　made　with　hands；〃　the　gladness　of　signifying　that　I　belonged　to　God's　spiritual　family；　and　was　being　drawn　closer　to　his　heart；　with　whom　none　of　us　are　held　as　〃strangers　and　foreigners。〃

I　felt　that　I　was　taking　up　again　the　clue　which　had　been　put　into　my　childish　hand　at　baptism；　and　was　being　led　on　by　it　into　the　unfolding　mysteries　of　life。　Should　I　ever　let　it　slip　from　me；　and　lose　the　way　to　the　〃many　mansions〃　that　now　seemed　so　open　and　so　near？　I　could　not　think　so。　It　is　well　that　we　cannot　foresee　our　falterings　and　failures。　At　least　I　could　never　forget　that　I　had　once　felt　my　own　and　other　lives　bound　together　with　the　Eternal　Life　by　an　invisible　thread。

The　vague；　fitful　desire　I　had　felt　from　my　childhood　to　be　something　to　the　world　I　lived　in；　to　give　it　something　of　the　the　inexpressible　sweetness　that　often　seemed　pouring　through　me；　I　knew　not　whence；　now　began　to　shape　itself　into　a　definite　outreach　towards　the　Source　of　all　spiritual　life。　To　draw　near　to　the　One　All…Beautiful　Being；　Christ；　to　know　Him　as　our　spirits　may　know　The　Spirit；　to　receive　the　breath　of　his　infinitely　loving　Life　into　mine；　that　I　might　breathe　out　that　fragrance　again　into　the　lives　around　methis　was　the　longing　wish　that；　half　hidden　from　myself；　lay　deep　beneath　all　other　desires　of　my　soul。　This　was　what　religion　grew　to　mean　to　me；　what　it　is　still　growing　to　mean；　more　simply　and　more　clearly　as　the　years　go　on。

The　heart　must　be　very　humble　to　which　this　heavenly　approach　is　permitted。　It　knows　that　it　has　nothing　in　itself；　nothing　for　others；　which　it　has　not　received。　The　loving　Voice　of　Him　who　gives　his　friends　his　errands　to　do　whispers　through　them　constantly；　〃Ye　are　not　your　own。〃

There　may　be　those　who　would　think　my　narrative　more　entertaining；　if　I　omitted　these　inner　experiences；　and　related　only　lighter　incidents。　But　one　thing　I　was　aware　of；　from　the　time　I　began　to　think　and　to　wonder　about　my　own　lifethat　what　I　felt　and　thought　was　far　more　real　to　me　than　the　things　that　happened。

Circumstances　are　only　the　keys　that　unlock　for　us　the　secret　of　ourselves；　and　I　learned　very　early　that　though　there　is　much　to　enjoy　in　this　beautiful　outside　world；　there　is　much　more　to　love；　to　believe　in；　and　to　seek；　in　the　invisible　world　out　of　which　it　all　grows。　　What　has　best　revealed　our　true　selves　to　ourselves　must　be　most　helpful　to　others；　and　one　can　willingly　sacrifice　some　natural　reserves　to　such　an　end。　Besides；　if　we　tell　our　own　story　at　all；　we　naturally　wish　to　tell　the　truest　part　of　it。

Work；　study；　and　worship　were　interblended　in　our　life。　The　church　was　really　the　home…centre　to　many；　perhaps　to　most　of　us；　and　it　was　one　of　the　mill　regulations　that　everybody　should　go　to　church　somewhere。　There　must　have　been　an　earnest　group　of　ministers　at　Lowell；　since　nearly　all　the　girls　attended　public　worship　from　choice。

Our　minister　joined　us　in　our　social　gatherings；　often　inviting　us　to　his　own　house；　visiting　us　at　our　work；　accompanying　us　on　our　picnics　down　the　river…bank；a　walk　of　a　mile　or　so　took　us　into　charmingly　picturesque　scenery；　and　we　always　walked；　suggesting　books　for　our　reading；　and　assisting　us　in　our　studies。

The　two　magazines　published　by　the　mill…girls；　the　〃Lowell　Offering〃　and　the　〃Operatives'　Magazine；〃　originated　with　literary　meetings　in　the　vestry　of　two　religious　societies；　the　first　in　the　Universalist　Church；　the　second　in　the　First　Congregational；　to　which　my　sister　and　I　belonged。

On　account　of　our　belonging　there；　our　contributions　were　given　to　the　〃Operatives'　Magazine；〃　the　first　periodical　for　which　I　ever　wrote；　issued　by　the　literary　society　of　which　our　minister　took　charge。　He　met　us　on　regular　evenings；　read　aloud　our　poems　and　sketches；　and　made　such　critical　suggestions　as　he　thought　desirable。　This　magazine　was　edited　by　two　young　women；　both　of　whom　had　been　employed　in　the　mills；　although　at　that　time　the　were　teachers　in　the　public　schoolsa　change　which　was　often　made　by　mill…girls　after　a　few　months'　residence　at　Lowell。　A　great　many　of　them　were　district…school　teachers　at　their　homes　in　the　summer；　spending　only　the　winters　at　their　work。

The　two　magazines　went　on　side　by　side　for　a　year　or　two；　and　then　were　united　in　the　〃Lowell　Offering〃　which　had　made　the　first　experiment　of　the　kind　by　publishing　a　trial　number　or　two　at　irregular　intervals。　My　sister　had　sent　some　verses　of　mine；　on　request；　to　be　published　in　one　of　those　specimen　numbers。　But　we　were　not　acquainted　with　the　editor　of　the　〃Offering；〃　and　we　knew　only　a　few　of　its　contributors。　The　Universalist　Church；　in　the　vestry　of　which　they　met；　was　in　a　distant　part　of　the　city。　Socially；　the　place　where　we　worshiped　was　the　place　where　we　naturally　came　together　in　other　ways。　The　churches　were　all　filled　to　overflowing；　so　that　the　grouping　together　of　the　girls　by　their　denominational　preferences　was　almost　unavoidable。　It　was　in　some　such　way　as　this　that　two　magazines　were　started　instead　of　one。　If　the　girls　who　enjoyed　writing　had　not　been　so　many　a