unconscious comedians-第1章

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Unconscious　Comedians



by　Honore　de　Balzac



Translated　by　Katharine　Prescott　Wormeley






DEDICATION



To　Monsieur　le　Comte　Jules　de　Castellane。











UNCONSCIOUS　COMEDIANS







Leon　de　Lora；　our　celebrated　landscape　painter；　belongs　to　one　of　the

noblest　families　of　the　Roussillon　（Spanish　originally）　which；

although　distinguished　for　the　antiquity　of　its　race；　has　been　doomed

for　a　century　to　the　proverbial　poverty　of　hidalgos。　Coming；

light…footed；　to　Paris　from　the　department　of　the　Eastern　Pyrenees；

with　the　sum　of　eleven　francs　in　his　pocket　for　all　viaticum；　he　had

in　some　degree　forgotten　the　miseries　and　privations　of　his　childhood

and　his　family　amid　the　other　privations　and　miseries　which　are　never

lacking　to　〃rapins；〃　whose　whole　fortune　consists　of　intrepid

vocation。　Later；　the　cares　of　fame　and　those　of　success　were　other

causes　of　forgetfulness。



If　you　have　followed　the　capricious　and　meandering　course　of　these

studies；　perhaps　you　will　remember　Mistigris；　Schinner's　pupil；　one　of

the　heroes　of　〃A　Start　in　Life〃　（Scenes　from　Private　Life）；　and　his

brief　apparitions　in　other　Scenes。　In　1845；　this　landscape　painter；

emulator　of　the　Hobbemas；　Ruysdaels；　and　Lorraines；　resembles　no　more

the　shabby；　frisky　rapin　whom　we　then　knew。　Now　an　illustrious　man；　he

owns　a　charming　house　in　the　rue　de　Berlin；　not　far　from　the　hotel　de

Brambourg；　where　his　friend　Brideau　lives；　and　quite　close　to　the

house　of　Schinner；　his　early　master。　He　is　a　member　of　the　Institute

and　an　officer　of　the　Legion　of　honor；　he　is　thirty…six　years　old；　has

an　income　of　twenty　thousand　francs　from　the　Funds；　his　pictures　sell

for　their　weight　in　gold；　and　（what　seems　to　him　more　extraordinary

than　the　invitations　he　receives　occasionally　to　court　balls）　his　name

and　fame；　mentioned　so　often　for　the　last　sixteen　years　by　the　press

of　Europe；　has　at　last　penetrated　to　the　valley　of　the　Eastern

Pyrenees；　where　vegetate　three　veritable　Loras：　his　father；　his　eldest

brother；　and　an　old　paternal　aunt；　Mademoiselle　Urraca　y　Lora。



In　the　maternal　line　the　painter　has　no　relation　left　except　a　cousin；

the　nephew　of　his　mother；　residing　in　a　small　manufacturing　town　in

the　department。　This　cousin　was　the　first　to　bethink　himself　of　Leon。

But　it　was　not　until　1840　that　Leon　de　Lora　received　a　letter　from

Monsieur　Sylvestre　Palafox…Castal…Gazonal　（called　simply　Gazonal）　to

which　he　replied　that　he　was　assuredly　himself；that　is　to　say；　the

son　of　the　late　Leonie　Gazonal；　wife　of　Comte　Fernand　Didas　y　Lora。



During　the　summer　of　1841　cousin　Sylvestre　Gazonal　went　to　inform　the

illustrious　unknown　family　of　Lora　that　their　little　Leon　had　not　gone

to　the　Rio　de　la　Plata；　as　they　supposed；　but　was　now　one　of　the

greatest　geniuses　of　the　French　school　of　painting；　a　fact　the　family

did　not　believe。　The　eldest　son；　Don　Juan　de　Lora　assured　his　cousin

Gazonal　that　he　was　certainly　the　dupe　of　some　Parisian　wag。



Now　the　said　Gazonal　was　intending　to　go　to　Paris　to　prosecute　a

lawsuit　which　the　prefect　of　the　Eastern　Pyrenees　had　arbitrarily

removed　from　the　usual　jurisdiction；　transferring　it　to　that　of　the

Council　of　State。　The　worthy　provincial　determined　to　investigate　this

act；　and　to　ask　his　Parisian　cousin　the　reason　of　such　high…handed

measures。　It　thus　happened　that　Monsieur　Gazonal　came　to　Paris；　took

shabby　lodgings　in　the　rue　Croix…des…Petits…Champs；　and　was　amazed　to

see　the　palace　of　his　cousin　in　the　rue　de　Berlin。　Being　told　that　the

painter　was　then　travelling　in　Italy；　he　renounced；　for　the　time

being；　the　intention　of　asking　his　advice；　and　doubted　if　he　should

ever　find　his　maternal　relationship　acknowledged　by　so　great　a　man。



During　the　years　1843　and　1844　Gazonal　attended　to　his　lawsuit。　This

suit　concerned　a　question　as　to　the　current　and　level　of　a　stream　of

water　and　the　necessity　of　removing　a　dam；　in　which　dispute　the

administration；　instigated　by　the　abutters　on　the　river　banks；　had

meddled。　The　removal　of　the　dam　threatened　the　existence　of　Gazonal's

manufactory。　In　1845；　Gazonal　considered　his　cause　as　wholly　lost；　the

secretary　of　the　Master　of　Petitions；　charged　with　the　duty　of　drawing

up　the　report；　had　confided　to　him　that　the　said　report　would

assuredly　be　against　him；　and　his　own　lawyer　confirmed　the　statement。

Gazonal；　though　commander　of　the　National　Guard　in　his　own　town　and

one　of　the　most　capable　manufacturers　of　the　department；　found　himself

of　so　little　account　in　Paris；　and　he　was；　moreover；　so　frightened　by

the　costs　of　living　and　the　dearness　of　even　the　most　trifling　things；

that　he　kept　himself；　all　this　time；　secluded　in　his　shabby　lodgings。

The　Southerner；　deprived　of　his　sun；　execrated　Paris；　which　he　called

a　manufactory　of　rheumatism。　As　he　added　up　the　costs　of　his　suit　and

his　living；　he　vowed　within　himself　to　poison　the　prefect　on　his

return；　or　to　minotaurize　him。　In　his　moments　of　deepest　sadness　he

killed　the　prefect　outright；　in　gayer　mood　he　contented　himself　with

minotaurizing　him。



One　morning　as　he　ate　his　breakfast　and　cursed　his　fate；　he　picked　up

a　newspaper　savagely。　The　following　lines；　ending　an　article；　struck

Gazonal　as　if　the　mysterious　voice　which　speaks　to　gamblers　before

they　win　had　sounded　in　his　ear：　〃Our　celebrated　landscape　painter；

Leon　de　Lora；　lately　returned　from　Italy；　will　exhibit　several

pictures　at　the　Salon；　thus　the　exhibition　promises；　as　we　see；　to　be

most　brilliant。〃　With　the　suddenness　of　action　that　distinguishes　the

sons　of　the　sunny　South；　Gazonal　sprang　from　his　lodgings　to　the

street；　from　the　street　to　a　street…cab；　and　drove　to　the　rue　de

Berlin　to　find　his　cousin。



Leon　de　Lora　sent　word　by　a　servant　to　his　cousin　Gazonal　that　he

invited　him　to　breakfast　the　next　day　at　the　Cafe　de　Paris；　but　he　was

now　engaged　in　a　matter　which　did　not　allow　him　to　receive　his　cousin

at　the　present　moment。　Gazonal；　like　a　true　Southerner；　recounted　all

his　troubles　to　the　valet。



The　next　day　at　ten　o'clock；　Gazonal；　much　too　well…dressed　for　the

occasion　（he　had　put　on　his　bottle…blue　coat　with　brass　buttons；　a

frilled　shirt；　a　white　waistcoat　and　yellow　gloves）；　awaited　his

amphitryon　a　full　hour；　stamping　his　feet　on　the　boulevard；　after

hearing　from　the　master　of　the　cafe　that　〃these　gentlemen〃　breakfasted

habitually　between　eleven　and　twelve　o'clock。



〃Between　eleven　and　half…past；〃　he　said　when　he　related　his　adventures

to　his　cronies　in　the　provinces；　〃two　Parisians　dressed　in　simple

frock…coats；　looking　like　NOTHING　AT　ALL；　called　out　when　they　saw　me

on　the　boulevard；　'There's　our　Gazonal！'〃



The　speaker　was　Bixiou；　with　whom　Leon　de　Lora　had　armed　himself　to

〃bring　out〃　his　provincial　cousin；　in　other　words；　to　make　him　pose。



〃'Don't　be　vexed；　cousin；　I'm　at　your　service！'　cried　out　that　little

Leon；　taking　me　in　his　arms；〃　related　Gazonal　on　his　return　home。　〃The

breakfast　was　splendid。　I　thought　I　was　going　blind　when　I　saw　the

number　of　bits　of　gold　it　took　to　pay　that　bill。　Those　fellows　must

earn　their　weight　in　gold；　for　I　saw　my　cousin　give　the　waiter　THIRTY

SOUSthe　price　of　a　whole　day's　work！〃



During　this　monstrous　breakfastadvisedly　so　called　in　view　of　six

dozen　Osten　oysters；　six　cutlets　a　la　Soubise；　a　chicken　a　la　Marengo；

lobster　mayonnaise；　green　peas；　a　mushroom　pasty；　washed　down　with

three　bottles　of　Bordeaux；　three　bottles　of　Champagne；　plus　coffee　and

liqueurs；　to　say　nothing　of　relishesGazonal　was　magnificent　in　his

diatribes　against　Paris。　The　worthy　manufacturer　complained　of　the

length　of　the　four…pound　bread…loaves；　the　height　of　the　houses；　the

indifference　of　the　passengers　in　the　streets　to　one　another；　the

cold；　the　rain；　the　cost　of　hackney…coaches；　all　of　which　and　much

else　he　bemoaned　in　so　witty　a　manner　that　the　two　artists　took　a

mighty　fancy　to　cousin　Gazonal；　and　made　him　relate　his　lawsuit　from

beginning　to　end。



〃My　lawsuit；〃　he　said　in　his　Southern　accent　and　rolling　his　r's；　〃is

a　very　simple　thing；　they　want　my　manufactory。　I've　employed　here　in

Paris　a　dolt　of　a　lawyer；　to　whom　I　give　twenty　francs　every　time　he

opens　an　eye；　and　he　is　always　asleep。　He's　a　slug；　who　drives　in　his

coach；　while　I　go　afoot　and　he　splashes　me。　I　see　now　I　ought　to　have

had　a　carriage！　On　the　other　hand；　that　Council　of　State　are　a　pack　of

do…nothings；　who　leave　their　duties　to　little　scamps　every　one　of　whom

is　bought　up　by　our　prefect。　That's　my　lawsuit！　They　want　my

manufactory！　Well；　they'll　get　it！　and　they　must　manage　the　best　they

can　with　my　workmen；　a　hundred　of　'em；　who'll　make　them　sing　another

tune　before　they've　done　with　them。〃



〃Two　years。　Ha！　that　meddling　prefect！　he　shall　pay　dear　for　this；

I'll　have　his　life　if　I　have　to　give　mine　on　the　scaffold〃



〃Which　state　councillor　presides　over　your　section？〃



〃A　former　newspaper　man；doesn't　pay　ten　sous　in　taxes；his　name　is

Massol。〃



The　two　Parisians　exchanged　glances。



〃Who　is　the　commissioner　who　is　making　the　report？〃



〃Ha！　that's　still　more　queer；　he's　Master　of　Petitions；　professor　of

something　or　other　at　the　Sorbonne；a　fellow　who　writes　things　in

reviews；　and　for　whom　I　have　the　profoundest　contempt。〃



〃Claude　Vignon；〃　said　Bixiou。



〃Yes；　that's　his　name；〃　replied　Gazonal。　〃Massol　and　Vignonthere　you

have　Social　Reason；　in　which　there's　no　reason　at　all。〃



〃There　must　be　some　way　out　of　it；〃　said　Leon　de　Lora。　〃You　see；

cousin；　all　things　are　possible　in　Paris　for　good　as　well　as　for　evil；

for　the　just　as　well　as　the　unjust。　There's　nothing　that　can't　be

done；　undone；　and　redone。〃



〃The　devil　take　me　if　I　stay　ten　days　more　in　this　hole　of　a　place；

the　dullest　in　all　France！〃



The　two　cousins　and　Bixiou　were　at　this　moment　walking　from　one　end　to

the　other　of　that　sheet　of　asphalt　on　which；　between　the　hours　of　one

and　three；　it　is　difficult　to　avoid　seeing　some　of　the　personages　in

honor　of　whom　Fame　puts　one　or　the　other　of　her　trumpets　to　her　lips。

Formerly　that　locality　was　the　Place　Royale；　next　it　was　the　Pont

Neuf；　in　these　days　this　privilege　had　been　acquired　by　the　Boulevard

des　Italiens。



〃Paris；〃　said　the　painter　to　his　cousin；　〃is　an　instrument　on　which　we

must　know　how　to　play；　if　we　stand　here　ten　minutes　I'll　give　you　your

first　lesson。　There；　look！〃　he　said；　raising　his　cane　and　pointing　to

a　couple　who　were　just　then　coming　out　from　the　Passage　de　l'Opera。



〃Goodness！　who's　that？〃　asked　Gazonal。



THAT　was　an　old　woman；　in　a　bonnet　which　had　spent　six　months　in　a

show…case；　a　very　pretentious　gown　and　a　faded　tartan　shawl；　whose

face　had　been　buried　twenty　years　of　her　life　in　a　damp　lodge；　and

whose　swollen　hand…bag　betokened　no　better　social　position　than　that

of　an　ex…portress。　With　her　was　a　slim　little　girl；　whose　eyes；

fringed　with　black　lashes；　h