frederick the great and his family-第111章

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gs；　my　beauteous　butterfly；　and　hold　you　down　in　the　dust　of　this　poor；　pitiful　world。　Wait；　only　wait　till　you　are　well；　when　your　health　is　restored；　you　shall　be　richly　repaid　for　all　your　present　self…denial。　Every　day　I　will　procure　you　new　pleasures；　prepare　you　new　_fetes_；　you　shall　dance　upon　carpets　of　roses　like　an　elfin　queen。〃

〃You　promise　me　that？〃　said　Camilla；　〃you　promise　me　that　you　will　not　prevent　my　dancing　as　much　and　as　gayly　as　I　like？〃

〃I　promise　you　all　this；　Camilla；　if　you　will　only　not　dance　now。〃

〃Well；〃　sighed　she；　〃I　agree　to　this；　but　I　fear　that　my　cousin；　Count　Kindar；　will　be　seriously　displeased　if　I　suddenly　refuse　him　the　dance　I　promised　him。〃

〃He　will　excuse　you；　sweetheart；　when　I　beg　him　to　do　so；〃　said　Lord　Elliot；　with　a　soft　smile。　〃I　will　seek　him　at　once；　and　make　your　excuses。　Be　kind　enough　to　wait　for　me　here；　I　will　return　immediately。〃　He　kissed　her　fondly　upon　the　brow；　and　hastened　off。

Camilla　looked　after　him　and　sighed　deeply；　then；　drawing　back　the　long　leaves　of　the　palm；　she　entered　the　grotto；　she　stepped　hastily　back　when　she　saw　that　the　green　divan　was　occupied；　and　tried　to　withdraw；　but　her　mother　held　her　and　greeted　her　kindly。　Camilla　laughed　aloud。　〃Ah；　mother；　it　appears　as　if　I　am　to　be　ever　in　your　way；　although　I　no　longer　dwell　in　your　house；　I　still　disturb　your　pleasures。　But　I　am　discreet；　let　your　friend　withdraw；　I　will　not　see　him；　I　will　not　know　his　name；　and　when　my　most　virtuous　husband　returns；　he　will　find　only　two　modest　gentlewomen。　Go；　sir；　I　will　turn　away；　that　I　may　not　see　you。〃

〃I　rather　entreat　you；　my　dear　Camilla；　to　turn　your　lovely　face　toward　me；　and　to　greet　me　kindly；〃　said　Major　du　Trouffle；　stepping　from　behind　the　shadow　of　the　palm；　and　giving　his　hand　to　Camilla。

She　gazed　at　him　questioningly；　and　when　at　last　she　recognized　him；　she　burst　out　into　a　merry　peal　of　laughter。　〃Truly；〃　said　she；　〃my　mother　had　a　rendezvous　with　her　husband；　and　I　have　disturbed　an　enchanting　marriage　chirping。　You　have　also　listened　to　my　married　chirp；　and　know　all　my　secrets。　Well；　what　do　you　say；　dear　stepfather；　to　my　mother　having　brought　me　so　soon　under　the　coif；　and　made　her　wild；　foolish　little　Camilla　the　wife　of　a　lord？〃

〃I　wish　you　happiness　with　my　whole　soul；　dear　Camilla；　and　rejoice　to　hear　from　your　mother　that　you　have　made　so　excellent　a　choice；　and　are　the　wife　of　so　amiable　and　intellectual　a　man。〃

〃So；　does　mamma　say　that　Lord　Elliot　is　all　that？　She　may　be　right；　I　don't　understand　these　things。　I　know　only　that　I　find　his　lordship　unspeakably　wearisome；　that　I　do　not　understand　a　word　of　his　intellectual　essays；　though　my　lord　declares　that　I　know　every　thing；　that　I　understand　every　thing；　and　have　a　most　profound　intellect。　Ah；　dear　stepfather；　it　is　a　terrible　misfortune　to　be　so　adored　and　worshipped　as　I　am；　I　am　supposed　to　be　an　angel；　who　by　some　rare　accident　has　fallen　upon　the　earth。〃

〃Truly　a　misfortune；　for　which　all　other　women　would　envy　you；〃　said　the　major；　laughing。

〃Then　they　would　make　a　great　mistake；〃　sighed　Camilla。　〃I　for　my　part　am　weary　of　this　homage；　I　have　no　desire　to　be；　I　will　not　consent　to　be　an　angel；　I　wish　only　to　be　a　beautiful；　rich　young　woman　and　to　enjoy　my　life。　Do　what　I　will；　my　husband　looks　at　every　act　of　folly　from　an　ideal　stand…point；　and　finds　thus　new　material　for　worship；　he　will　force　me　at　last　to　some　wild；　insane　act　in　order　to　convince　him　that　I　am　no　angel；　but　a　weak　child　of　earth。〃

〃You　were　almost　in　the　act　of　committing　such　a　folly　this　evening；〃　said　her　mother；　sternly。

〃Ah；　you　mean　that　I　wished　to　dance。　But　only　think；　mamma；　with　whom　I　wished　to　dance；　with　my　cousin；　whom　all　the　world　calls　'the　handsome　Kindar；'　and　who　dances　so　gloriously；　that　it　is　a　delight　to　see　him；　and　bliss　to　float　about　with　him。　He　only　returned　this　evening；　and　he　came　at　once　to　me　and　greeted　me　so　lovingly；　so　tenderly；　you　know；　mamma；　we　have　always　loved　each　other　fondly。　When　I　told　him　I　was　married；　he　turned　pale　and　looked　at　me　so　sorrowfully；　and　tears　were　in　his　eyes。　Oh；　mamma；　why　was　I　obliged　to　wed　Lord　Elliot；　who　is　so　grave；　so　wise；　so　learned；　so　virtuous；　and　with　whom　it　is　ever　wearisome？　Why　did　you　not　let　me　wait　till　Kindar　returned；　who　is　so　handsome；　so　gay；　so　ignorant；　before　whom　I　should　never　have　been　forced　to　blush；　no　matter　how　foolish　I　had　been；　and　with　whom　I　should　never　have　been　weary？〃

〃But　how　did　you　know　that　the　handsome　Kindar　wished　to　marry　you？〃　said　Louise；　laughing。

〃Oh；　yes；　mamma；　I　knew　it　well；　he　has　often　told　me　so；　even　when　I　was　a　little　girl　and　he　was　a　cadet。　This　dreadful　war　is　the　cause　of　all　my　misery；　it　led　to　his　promotion；　then　he　must　join　his　regiment；　then；　alas！　I　must　marry　another　before　his　return。〃

〃Yes；　but　a　noble；　intellectual；　and　honorable　cavalier；　who　does　honor　to　your　choice；〃　said　Du　Trouffle。

〃Lord　Elliot　has　red　hair；　squints　with　both　eyes；　and　is　so　long　and　meagre　that　he　looks　more　like　an　exclamation…point　than　a　man。　When　he　appears　before　me　in　his　yellow…gray　riding　costume；　I　am　always　reminded　of　the　great　windspeil　you　gave　me　once；　stepfather；　who　had　such　long；　high　legs；　I　used　to　creep　under　them；　and　when　he　lies　like　a　windspeil　at　my　feet；　and　squints　at　me；　his　eyes　seem　tied　up　in　knots；　and　I　never　know　if　he　is　really　looking　at　me；　or　is　about　to　fall　into　a　swoon。　Now；　stepfather；　do　you　not　find　that　Lord　Elliot　does　honor　to　my　taste？〃

〃Certainly；　and　all　the　more　because　your　choice　proves　that　you　appreciate　the　true　dignity　and　beauty　of　a　man；　and　his　outward　appearance　seems　to　you　comparatively　insignificant。〃

〃Alas；　alas！　now　you　begin　also　to　attribute　noble　and　exalted　motives　to　me；〃　said　Camilla　pathetically。　〃No；　no；　stepfather；　I　am　not　so　sublime　as　you　think；　and　I　should　not　have　married　Lord　Elliot　if　mamma　and　myself　had　not　both　indulged　the　ardent　wish　to　be　released　from　each　other。　Mamma　is　too　young　and　too　beautiful　to　be　willing　to　have　a　grown…up　daughter　who　is　not　ugly　by　her　side；　and　I　was　too　old　to　be　locked　up　any　longer　in　the　nursery；　so　I　stepped　literally　from　the　nursery　to　the　altar；　and　became　the　wife　of　Lord　Elliot；　so　mamma　and　myself　were　freed　from　the　presence　of　each　other；　and　I　thought　that　a　time　of　joy　and　liberty　would　bloom　for　me。　But；　alas；　I　have　only　changed　my　cage；　formerly　I　was　confined　in　a　nursery；　now　my　prison　is　a　temple；　because　my　husband　says　I　am　too　elevated；　too　angelic　to　come　in　contact　with　the　pitiful　world。　Ah。　I　long　so　for　the　world；　I　am　so　thirsty　for　its　pleasures；　I　would　so　gladly　take　full　draughts　of　joy　from　its　golden　cup！　My　husband　comes　and　offers　me　a　crystal　shell；　filled　with　heavenly　dew　and　ether　dust；　which　is；　I　suppose；　angels'　food；　but　he　does　not　remark　that　I　am　hungering　and　thirsting　to　death。　Like　King　Midas；　before　whose　thirsty　lips　every　thing　turned　to　gold；　and　who　was　starving　in　the　midst　of　all　his　glory；　I　beseech　you；　stepfather；　undertake　the　role　of　the　barber；　bore　a　hole　and　cry　out　in　it　that　I　have　ass's　earsears　as　long　as　those　of　King　Midas。　Perhaps　the　rushes　would　grow　again　and　make　known　to　my　lord　the　simple　fact；　which　up　to　this　time　he　refuses　to　believe；　that　I　am　indeed　no　angel；　and　he　would　cease　to　worship　me；　and　allow　me　to　be　gay　and　happy　upon　the　earth　like　every　other　woman。　But　come；　come；　stepfather；　I　hear　the　earnest　voice　of　my　husband　in　conversation　with　my　merry；　handsome　cousin。　Let　us　go　to　meet　them；　and　grant　me　the　pleasure　of　introducing　Lord　Elliot　to　younot　here；　but　in　the　brilliantly　lighted　saloon。　Afterward　I　will　ask　you；　on　your　word　of　honor；　if　you　still　find　I　have　made　a　happy　choice；　and　if　my　windspeil　of　a　husband　is　of　more　value　than　my　handsome　cousin？〃

She　took　the　arm　of　the　major　with　a　gay　smile；　and　tried　to　draw　him　forward。

〃But　your　mother；〃　said　Du　Trouffle；　〃you　forget　your　mother？〃

〃Listen　now；　mamma；　how　cruel　he　is；　always　reminding　you　that　you　are　my　mother；　that　is　as　much　as　to　say　to　you；　in　other　words；　that　you　will　soon　be　a　grandmother。　Mamma；　I　could　die　of　laughter　to　think　of　you　as　a　grandmother。　I　assure　you；　mamma；　that　in　the　midst　of　all　my　sorrows　and　disappointments　this　thought　is　the　only　thing　which　diverts　and　delights　me。　Only　think；　I　shall　soon　make　you　a　worthy　grandmother。　Say　now；　grandmother；　will　you　come　with　us？〃

〃No；　I　will　remain　here；　your　gayety　has　made　me　sadI　do　not　feel　fit　for　society。　I　will　await　my　husband　here；　and　we　will　return　to　Berlin。〃

〃Adieu；　then；　mamma；〃　said　Camilla；　rapidly　drawing　the　major　onward。

Louise　du　Trouffle　remained　alone　in　the　grotto；　she　leaned　her　head　against　the　palm…tree；　and　looked　sorrowfully　after　the　retreating　form　of　her　daughter。　It　seemed　to　her　that　a　shudder　passed　through　her　soul；　that　a　cold；　dead　hand　was　laid　upon　her　heart；　as　if　a　phantom　pressed　against　her；　and　a　voice　whispered：　〃This　is　thy　work。　Oh；　mother　worthy　of　execration；　you　alone　have　caused　the　destruction　of　your　daughter；　through　you　that　soul　is　lost；　which　God　intrusted　to　you；　and　which　was　endowed　with　the　germ　of　great　and　noble　qualities。　It　was　your　duty　to　nourish　and　build　them　up。　God　will　one　day　call　you　to　account；　and　ask　this　precious　soul　of　you；　which　you　have　poisoned　by　your　evil　example；　which　is　lost　lost　through　you　alone。〃

Louise　shuddered　fearfully；　then　rousing　herself　she　tried　to　shake　off　these　fearful　thoughts；　and　free　herself　from　the　stern　voices　which　mastered　her。　They　had　so　often　spoken；　so　often　awaked　her　in　the　middle　of　the　night；　driven　sleep　from　her　couch；　and　tortured　her　conscience　with　bitter　reproaches！

Louise　knew　well　this　gray　phantom　which　was　ever　behind　her　or　at　her　side；　ever　staring　at　her　with　dark　and　deadly　earnestness；　even　in　the　midst　of　her　mirth　and　joyousness；　the　harsh　voice　was　often　so　loud　that　Louise　was　bewildered　by　it；　and　could　not　hear　the　ring　of　joy　and　rapture　which　surrounded　her。　She　knew　that　this　pale　spectre　was　conscience；　press　it　down　as　she　would；　the　busy　devil　was　ever　mounting；　mounting。　But　she　would　not　listen；　she　rushed　madly　on　after　new　distractions；　new　pleasures；　she　quenched　the　warning　voice　under　shouts　of　mirth　and　levity；　she　threw　herself　in　the　arms　of　folly　and　worldly　pleasures；　and　then　for　long　months　she　escaped　this　threatening　phantom；　which；　with　raised　finger；　stood　behind　her；　which　seemed　to　chase　her；　and　from　which　she　ever　fled　to　new　sins　and　new　guilt。　Sometimes　she　had　a　feeling　as　if　Death　held　her　in　his　arms；　and　turned　her　round　in　a　wild　and　rapid　dance；　not　regarding　her　prayers；　or　her　panting；　gasping　breath；　she　would；　oh　how　gladly；　have　rested；　gladly　have　laid　down　in　some　dark　and　quiet　corner；　away　from　this　wild　gayety。　But　she　could　not　escape　from　those　mysterious　arms　which　held　her　captive　in　their　iron　clasp；　which　rushed　onward　with　her　in　the　death…dance　of　sin。　She　must　go　onward；　ever　onward；　in　this　career　of　vice；　she　must　ever　again　seek　intoxication　in　the　opium　of　sin；　to　save　herself　from　the　barren；　colorless　nothingness　which　awaited　her；　from　that　worst　of　all　evils；　the