the moon and sixpence(月球和六便士)-第13章
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
〃But I don't want him back；〃 she said。
〃Amy！〃
It was anger that had seized Mrs。 Strickland； and her pallor was the
pallor of a cold and sudden rage。 She spoke quickly now； with little
gasps。
〃I could have forgiven it if he'd fallen desperately in love with
someone and gone off with her。 I should have thought that natural。 I
shouldn't really have blamed him。 I should have thought he was led
away。 Men are so weak； and women are so unscrupulous。 But this is
different。 I hate him。 I'll never forgive him now。〃
Colonel MacAndrew and his wife began to talk to her together。 They
were astonished。 They told her she was mad。 They could not
understand。 Mrs。 Strickland turned desperately to me。
〃Don't see？〃 she cried。
〃I'm not sure。 Do you mean that you could have forgiven him if he'd
left you for a woman； but not if he's left you for an idea？ You think you're
a match for the one； but against the other you're helpless？〃
Mrs。 Strickland gave mt a look in which I read no great friendliness；
but did not answer。 Perhaps I had struck home。 She went on in a low and
trembling voice：
〃I never knew it was possible to hate anyone as much as I hate him。
Do you know； I've been comforting myself by thinking that however long
59
… Page 60…
The Moon and Sixpence
it lasted he'd want me at the end？ I knew when he was dying he'd send
for me； and I was ready to go； I'd have nursed him like a mother； and at the
last I'd have told him that it didn't matter； I'd loved him always； and I
forgave him everything。〃
I have always been a little disconcerted by the passion women have for
behaving beautifully at the death…bed of those they love。 Sometimes it
seems as if they grudge the longevity which postpones their chance of an
effective scene。
〃But now now it's finished。 I'm as indifferent to him as if he were
a stranger。 I should like him to die miserable； poor； and starving； without
a friend。 I hope he'll rot with some loathsome disease。 I've done with
him。〃
I thought it as well then to say what Strickland had suggested。
〃If you want to divorce him； he's quite willing to do whatever is
necessary to make it possible。〃
〃Why should I give him his freedom？〃
〃I don't think he wants it。 He merely thought it might be more
convenient to you。〃
Mrs。 Strickland shrugged her shoulders impatiently。 I think I was a
little disappointed in her。 I expected then people to be more of a piece
than I do now； and I was distressed to find so much vindictiveness in so
charming a creature。 I did not realise how motley are the qualities that
go to make up a human being。 Now I am well aware that pettiness and
grandeur； malice and charity； hatred and love； can find place side by side
in the same human heart。
I wondered if there was anything I could say that would ease the sense
of bitter humiliation which at present tormented Mrs。 Strickland。 I
thought I would try。
〃You know； I'm not sure that your husband is quite responsible for his
actions。 I do not think he is himself。 He seems to me to be possessed
by some power which is using him for its own ends； and in whose hold he
is as helpless as a fly in a spider's web。 It's as though someone had cast a
spell over him。 I'm reminded of those strange stories one sometimes hears
of another personality entering into a man and driving out the old one。
60
… Page 61…
The Moon and Sixpence
The soul lives unstably in the body； and is capable of mysterious
transformations。 In the old days they would say Charles Strickland had a
devil。〃
Mrs。 MacAndrew smoothed down the lap of her gown； and gold
bangles fell over her wrists。
〃All that seems to me very far…fetched；〃 she said acidly。 〃I don't deny
that perhaps Amy took her husband a little too much for granted。 If she
hadn't been so busy with her own affairs； I can't believe that she wouldn't
have suspected something was the matter。 I don't think that Alec could
have something on his mind for a year or more without my having a pretty
shrewd idea of it。〃
The Colonel stared into vacancy； and I wondered whether anyone
could be quite so innocent of guile as he looked。
〃But that doesn't prevent the fact that Charles Strickland is a heartless
beast。〃 She looked at me severely。 〃I can tell you why he left his wife …
… from pure selfishness and nothing else whatever。〃
〃That is certainly the simplest explanation；〃 I said。 But I thought it
explained nothing。 When； saying I was tired； I rose to go； Mrs。
Strickland made no attempt to detain me。
61
… Page 62…
The Moon and Sixpence
Chapter XVI
What followed showed that Mrs。 Strickland was a woman of
character。 Whatever anguish she suffered she concealed。 She saw shrewdly
that the world is quickly bored by the recital of misfortune； and willingly
avoids the sight of distress。 Whenever she went out and compassion for
her misadventure made her friends eager to entertain her she bore a
demeanour that was perfect。 She was brave； but not too obviously；
cheerful； but not brazenly； and she seemed more anxious to listen to the
troubles of others than to discuss her own。 Whenever she spoke of her
husband it was with pity。 Her attitude towards him at first perplexed me。
One day she said to me：
〃You know； I'm convinced you were mistaken about Charles being
alone。 From what I've been able to gather from certain sources that I can't
tell you； I know that he didn't leave England by himself。〃
〃In that case he has a positive genius for covering up his tracks。〃
She looked away and slightly coloured。
〃What I mean is； if anyone talks to you about it； please don't contradict
it if they say he eloped with somebody。〃
〃Of course not。〃
She changed the conversation as though it were a matter to which she
attached no importance。 I discovered presently that a peculiar story was
circulating among her friends。 They said that Charles Strickland had
become infatuated with a French dancer； whom he had first seen in the
ballet at the Empire； and had accompanied her to Paris。 I could not find
out how this had arisen； but； singularly enough； it created much sympathy
for Mrs。 Strickland； and at the same time gave her not a little prestige。
This was not without its use in the calling which she had decided to follow。
Colonel MacAndrew had not exaggerated when he said she would be
penniless； and it was necessary for her to earn her own living as quickly as
she could。 She made up her mind to profit by her acquaintance with so
many writers； and without loss of time began to learn shorthand and
typewriting。 Her education made it likely that she would be a typist more
efficient than the average； and her story made her claims appealing。 Her
62
… Page 63…
The Moon and Sixpence
friends promised to send her work； and took care to recommend her to all
theirs。
The MacAndrews； who were childless and in easy circumstances；
arranged to undertake the care of the children； and Mrs。 Strickland had
only herself to provide for。 She let her flat and sold her furniture。 She
settled in two tiny rooms in Westminster； and faced the world anew。 She
was so efficient that it was certain she would make a success of the
adventure。
63
… Page 64…
The Moon and Sixpence
Chapter XVII
It was about five years after this that I decided to live in Paris for a
while。 I was growing stale in London。 I was tired of doing much the
same thing every day。 My friends pursued their course with
uneventfulness； they had no longer any surprises for me； and when I met
them I knew pretty well what they would say； even their love…affairs had
a tedious banality。 We were like tram…cars running on their lines from
terminus to terminus； and it was possible to calculate within small limits
the number of passengers they would carry。 Life was ordered too
pleasantly。 I was seized with panic。 I gave up my small apartment； sold
my few belongings； and resolved to start afresh。
I called on Mrs。 Strickland before I left。 I had not seen her for some
time； and I noticed changes in her； it was not only that she was older；
thinner； and more lined； I think her character had altered。 She had made
a success of her business； and now had an office in Chancery Lane； she
did little typing herself； but spent her time correcting the work of the four
girls she employed。 She had had the idea of giving it a certain daintiness；
and she made much use of blue and red inks； she bound the copy in coarse
paper； that looked vaguely like watered silk； in various pale colours； and
she had acquired a reputation for neatness and accuracy。 She was
making money。 But she could not get over the idea that to earn her living
was somewhat undignified； and she was inclined to remind you that she
was a lady by birth。 She could not help bringing into her conversation
the names of people she knew which would satisfy you that she had not
sunk in the social scale。 She was a
