memoirs of carwin the biloquist(卡尔维恩)-第12章
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No。 My treatment of you henceforth will be regulated by one
principle。 I regard you only as one undergoing a probation or
apprenticeship； as subjected to trials of your sincerity and fortitude。 The
marriage I now propose to you is desirable； because it will make you
independent of me。 Your poverty might create an unsuitable bias in
favour of proposals； one of whose effects would be to set you beyond
fortune's reach。 That bias will cease； when you cease to be poor and
dependent。
Love is the strongest of all human delusions。 That fortitude； which is
not subdued by the tenderness and blandishments of woman； may be
trusted； but no fortitude； which has not undergone that test； will be trusted
by us。
This woman is a charming enthusiast。 She will never marry but him
whom she passionately loves。 Her power over the heart that loves her
will scarcely have limits。 The means of prying into your transactions； of
suspecting and sifting your thoughts； which her constant society with you；
while sleeping and waking； her zeal and watchfulness for your welfare；
and her curiosity； adroitness； and penetration will afford her； are evident。
Your danger； therefore； will be imminent。 Your fortitude will be obliged
to have recourse； not to flight； but to vigilance。 Your eye must never
close。
Alas！ what human magnanimity can stand this test！ How can I
persuade myself that you will not fail？ I waver between hope and fear。
Many； it is true； have fallen； and dragged with them the author of their ruin；
but some have soared above even these perils and temptations； with their
fiery energies unimpaired； and great has been； as great ought to be； their
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MEMOIRS OF CARWIN THE BILOQUIST ＇A fragment＇
recompence。
But you are doubtless aware of your danger。 I need not repeat the
consequences of betraying your trust； the rigour of those who will Judge
your fault； the unerring and unbounded scrutiny to which your actions； the
most secret and indifferent； will be subjected。
Your conduct； however； will be voluntary。 At your own option be it；
to see or not to see this woman。 Circumspection； deliberation
forethought； are your sacred duties and highest interest。
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MEMOIRS OF CARWIN THE BILOQUIST ＇A fragment＇
Chapter VIII。
Ludloe's remarks on the seductive and bewitching powers of women；
on the difficulty of keeping a secret which they wish to know； and to gain
which they employ the soft artillery of tears and prayers； and
blandishments and menaces； are familiar to all men； but they had little
weight with me； because they were unsupported by my own experience。
I had never had any intellectual or sentimental connection with the sex。
My meditations and pursuits had all led a different way； and a bias had
gradually been given to my feelings； very unfavourable to the refinements
of love。 I acknowledge； with shame and regret； that I was accustomed to
regard the physical and sensual consequences of the sexual relation as
realities； and every thing intellectual； disinterested； and heroic； which
enthusiasts connect with it as idle dreams。 Besides； said I； I am yet a
stranger to the secret； on the preservation of which so much stress is laid；
and it will be optional with me to receive it or not。 If； in the progress of
my acquaintance with Mrs。 Benington； I should perceive any
extraordinary danger in the gift； cannot I refuse； or at least delay to
comply with any new conditions from Ludloe？ Will not his candour and
his affection for me rather commend than disapprove my diffidence？ In
fine； I resolved to see this lady。
She was； it seems； the widow of Benington； whom I knew in Spain。
This man was an English merchant settled at Barcelona； to whom I had
been commended by Ludloe's letters； and through whom my pecuniary
supplies were furnished。 。 。 。 。 。 。 Much intercourse and some degree of
intimacy had taken place between us； and I had gained a pretty accurate
knowledge of his character。 I had been informed； through different
channels； that his wife was much his superior in rank； that she possessed
great wealth in her own right； and that some disagreement of temper or
views occasioned their separation。 She had married him for love； and
still doated on him： the occasions for separation having arisen； it seems；
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MEMOIRS OF CARWIN THE BILOQUIST ＇A fragment＇
not on her side but on his。 As his habits of reflection were nowise
friendly to religion； and as hers； according to Ludloe； were of the opposite
kind； it is possible that some jarring had arisen between them from this
source。 Indeed； from some casual and broken hints of Benington；
especially in the latter part of his life； I had long since gathered this
conjecture。 。 。 。 。 。 。 Something； thought I； may be derived from my
acquaintance with her husband favourable to my views。
I anxiously waited for an opportunity of acquainting Ludloe with my
resolution。 On the day of our last conversation； he had made a short
excursion from town； intending to return the same evening； but had
continued absent for several days。 As soon as he came back； I hastened
to acquaint him with my wishes。
Have you well considered this matter； said he。 Be assured it is of no
trivial import。 The moment at which you enter the presence of this
woman will decide your future destiny。 Even putting out of view the
subject of our late conversations； the light in which you shall appear to her
will greatly influence your happiness； since； though you cannot fail to love
her； it is quite uncertain what return she may think proper to make。
Much； doubtless； will depend on your own perseverance and address； but
you will have many； perhaps insuperable obstacles to encounter on several
accounts； and especially in her attachment to the memory of her late
husband。 As to her devout temper； this is nearly allied to a warm
imagination in some other respects； and will operate much more in favour
of an ardent and artful lover； than against him。
I still expressed my willingness to try my fortune with her。
Well； said he； I anticipated your consent to my proposal； and the visit I
have just made was to her。 I thought it best to pave the way； by
informing her that I had met with one for whom she had desired me to
look out。 You must know that her father was one of these singular men
who set a value upon things exactly in proportion to the difficulty of
obtaining or comprehending them。 His passion was for antiques； and his
favourite pursuit during a long life was monuments in brass； marble； and
parchment； of the remotest antiquity。 He was wholly indifferent to the
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MEMOIRS OF CARWIN THE BILOQUIST ＇A fragment＇
character or conduct of our present sovereign and his ministers； but was
extremely solicitous about the name and exploits of a king of Ireland that
lived two or three centuries before the flood。 He felt no curiosity to
know who was the father of his wife's child； but would travel a thousand
miles； and consume months； in investigating which son of Noah it was that
first landed on the coast of Munster。 He would give a hundred guineas
from the mint for a piece of old decayed copper no bigger than his nail；
provided it had aukward characters upon it； too much defaced to be read。
The whole stock of a great bookseller was； in his eyes； a cheap exchange
for a shred of parchment； containing half a homily written by St。 Patrick。
He would have gratefully given all his patrimonial domains to one who
should inform him what pendragon or druid it was who set up the first
stone on Salisbury plain。
This spirit； as you may readily suppose； being seconded by great
wealth and long life； contributed to form a very large collection of
venerable lumber； which； though beyond all price to the collector himself；
is of no value to his heiress but so far as it is marketable。 She designs to
bring the whole to auction； but for this purpose a catalogue and description
are necessary。 Her father trusted to a faithful memory； and to vague and
scarcely legible memorandums； and has left a very arduous task to any one
who shall be named to the office。 It occurred to me； that the best means
of promoting your views was to recommend you to this office。
You are not entirely without the antiquarian frenzy yourself。 The
employment； therefore； will be somewhat agreeable to you for its own
sake。 It will entitle you to become an inmate of the same house； and thus
establish an incessant intercourse between you； and the nature of the
business is such； that you may perform it in what time； and with what
degree of diligence and accuracy you please。
I ventured to insinuate that； to a woman of rank and family； the
character of a hireling was by no means a favourable recommendation。
He answered； that he proposed； by the account he should give of me；
to obviate every scruple of that n
