the turmoil-第28章

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you〃



〃Can't　you　SEE　him？〃　Bibbs　interrupted；　a　faint　ripple　of　hilarity　in　his

voice。　　〃If　he　could　understand　what　you're　sayingand　if　you　can　imagine　his

taking　such　a　notion；　he's　have　had　R。　T。　Bloss　put　up　posters　all　over　the

country：　'Read　B。　Sheridan。　　Read　the　Poet　with　a　Punch！'　No。　It's　just　as

well　he　never　got　theBut　what's　the　use？　　I've　never　written　anything　worth

printing；　and　I　never　shall。〃



〃You　could！〃　she　said。



〃That's　because　you've　never　seen　the　poor　little　things　I've　tried　to　do。〃



〃You　wouldn't　let　me；　but　I　KNOW　you　could！　　Ah；　it's　a　pity！〃



〃It　isn't；〃　said　BIBBS；　honestly。　　〃I　never　couldbut　you're　the　kindest　lady

in　this　world；　Miss　Vertrees。〃



She　gave　him　a　flashing　glance；　and　it　was　as　kind　as　he　said　she　was。　〃That

sounds　wrong；〃　she　said；　impulsively。　　〃I　mean　'Miss　Vertrees。'　I've　thought

of　you　by　your　first　name　ever　since　I　met　you。　　Wouldn't　you　rather　call　me

'Mary'？〃



Bibbs　was　dazzled；　he　drew　a　long；　deep　breath　and　did　not　speak。



〃Wouldn't　you？〃　she　asked；　without　a　trace　of　coquetry。



〃If　I　CAN！〃　he　said；　in　a　low　voice。



〃Ah；　that's　very　pretty！〃　she　laughed。　　〃You're　such　an　honest　person；　it's

pleasant　to　have　you　gallant　sometimes；　by　way　of　variety。〃　　She　became　grave

again　immediately。　　〃I　hear　myself　laughing　as　if　it　were　some　one　else。　　It

sounds　like　laughter　on　the　eve　of　a　great　calamity。〃　She　got　up　restlessly；

crossed　the　room　and　leaned　against　the　wall；　facing　him。　　〃You've　GOT　to　go

back　to　that　place？〃



He　nodded。



〃And　the　other　time　you　did　it〃



〃Just　over　it；〃　said　Bibbs。　　〃Two　years。　　But　I　don't　mind　the　prospect　of　a

repetition　so　much　as〃



〃So　much　as　what？〃　she　prompted；　as　he　stopped。



Bibbs　looked　up　at　her　shyly。　　〃I　want　to　say　it；　butbut　I　come　to　a　dead

balk　when　I　try。　　I〃



〃Go　on。　　Say　it；　whatever　it　is；〃　she　bade　him。　　〃You　wouldn't　know　how　to　say

anything　I　shouldn't　like。〃



〃I　doubt　if　you'd　either　like　or　dislike　what　I　want　to　say；〃　he　returned；

moving　uncomfortably　in　his　chair　and　looking　at　his　feethe　seemed　to　feel

awkward；　thoroughly。　　〃You　see；　all　my　lifeuntil　I　met　youif　I　ever　felt

like　saying　anything；　I　wrote　it　instead。　　Saying　things　is　a　new　trick　for

me；　and　thiswell；　it's　just　this：　　I　used　to　feel　as　if　I　hadn't　ever　had

any　sort　of　a　life　at　all。　　I'd　never　been　of　use　to　anything　or　anybody；　and

I'd　never　had　anything；　myself；　except　a　kind　of　haphazard　thinking。　　But　now

it's　differentI'm　still　of　no　use　to　anybody；　and　I　don't　see　any　prospect

of　being　useful；　but　I　have　had　something　for　myself。　　I've　had　a　beautiful

and　happy　experience；　and　it　makes　my　life　seem　to　beI　mean　I'm　glad　I've

lived　it！　　That's　all；　it's　your　letting　me　be　near　you　sometimes；　as　you

have；　this　strange；　beautiful；　happy　little　while！〃



He　did　not　once　look　up；　and　reached　silence；　at　the　end　of　what　he　had　to

say；　with　his　eyes　still　awkwardly　regarding　his　feet。　　She　did　not　speak；　but

a　soft　rustling　of　her　garments　let　him　know　that　she　had　gone　back　to　her

chair　again。　　The　house　was　still；　the　shabby　old　room　was　so　quiet　that　the

sound　of　a　creaking　in　the　wall　seemed　sharp　and　loud。



And　yet；　when　Mary　spoke　at　last；　her　voice　was　barely　audible。　　〃If　you　think

it　has　beenhappyto　be　friends　with　meyou'd　want　toto　make　it　last。〃



〃Yes；〃　said　Bibbs；　as　faintly。



〃You'd　want　to　go　on　being　my　friend　as　long　as　we　live；　wouldn't　you？〃



〃Yes；〃　he　gulped。



〃But　you　make　that　kind　of　speech　to　me　because　you　think　it's　over。〃



He　tried　to　evade　her。　　〃Oh；　a　day…laborer　can't　come　in　his　overalls〃



〃No；〃　she　interrupted；　with　a　sudden　sharpness。　　〃You　said　what　you　did

because　you　think　the　shop's　going　to　kill　you。〃



〃No；　no！〃



〃Yes；　you　do　think　that！〃　　She　rose　to　her　feet　again　and　came　and　stood

before　him。　　〃Or　you　think　it's　going　to　send　you　back　to　the　sanitarium。

Don't　deny　it；　Bibbs。　　There！　　See　how　easily　I　call　you　that！　　You　see　I'm　a

friend；　or　I　couldn't　do　it。　　Well；　if　you　meant　what　you　said　and　you　did

mean　it；　I　know　it！you're　not　going　to　go　back　to　the　sanitarium。　　The　shop

sha'n't　hurt　you。　　It　sha'n't！〃



And　now　Bibbs　looked　up。　　She　stood　before　him；　straight　and　tall；　splendid　in

generous　strength；　her　eyes　shining　and　wet。



〃If　I　mean　THAT　much　to　you；〃　she　cried；　〃they　can't　harm　you！　　Go　back　to　the

shopbut　come　to　me　when　your　day's　work　is　done。　　Let　the　machines　crash

their　sixty…eight　times　a　minute；　but　remember　each　crash　that　deafens　you　is

that　much　nearer　the　evening　and　me！〃



He　stumbled　to　his　feet。　　〃You　say〃　he　gasped。



〃Every　evening；　dear　Bibbs！〃



He　could　only　stare；　bewildered。



〃EVERY　evening。　　I　want　you。　　They　sha'n't　hurt　you　again！〃　　And　she　held　out

her　hand　to　him；　it　was　strong　and　warm　in　his　tremulous　clasp。　　〃If　I　could；

I'd　go　and　feed　the　strips　of　zinc　to　the　machine　with　you；〃　she　said。　　〃But

all　day　long　I'll　send　my　thoughts　to　you。　　You　must　keep　remembering　that

your　friend　stands　beside　you。　　And　when　the　work　is　done　won't　the　night

make　up　for　the　day？〃



Light　seemed　to　glow　from　her；　he　was　blinded　by　that　radiance　of　kindness。

But　all　he　could　say　was；　huskily；　〃To　think　you're　there　with　mestanding

beside　the　old　zinc…eater〃



And　they　laughed　and　looked　at　each　other；　and　at　last　Bibbs　found　what　it

meant　not　to　be　alone　in　the　world。　　He　had　a　friend。





When　he　came　into　the　New　House；　a　few　minutes　later；　he　found　his　father

sitting　alone　by　the　library　fire。　　Bibbs　went　in　and　stood　before　him。　〃I'm

cured；　father；〃　he　said。　　〃When　do　I　go　back　to　the　shop？　　I'm　ready。〃



The　desolate　and　grim　old　man　did　not　relax。　　〃I　was　sittin'　up　to　give　you　a

last　chance　to　say　something　like　that。　　I　reckon　it's　about　time！　I　just

wanted　to　see　if　you'd　have　manhood　enough　not　to　make　me　take　you　over　there

by　the　collar。　　Last　night　I　made　up　my　mind　I'd　give　you　just　one　more　day。

Well；　you　got　to　it　before　I　didpretty　close　to　the　eleventh　hour！　　All

right。　　Start　in　to…morrow。　　It's　the　first　o'　the　month。　　Think　you　can　get

up　in　time？〃



〃Six　o'clock；〃　Bibbs　responded；　briskly。　　〃And　I　want　to　tell　youI'm　going

in　a　'cheerful　spirit。'　　As　you　said；　I'll　go　and　I'll　'like　it'！〃



〃That's　YOUR　lookout！〃　his　father　grunted。　　〃They'll　put　you　back　on　the

clippin'…machine。　　You　get　nine　dollars　a　week。〃



〃More　than　I'm　worth；　too；〃　said　Bibbs；　cheerily。　　〃That　reminds　me；　I　didn't

mean　YOU　by　'Midas'　in　that　nonsense　I'd　been　writing。　　I　meant〃



〃Makes　a　hell　of　a　lot　o'　difference　what　you　meant！〃



〃I　just　wanted　you　to　know。　　Good　night；　father。〃



〃G'night！〃



The　sound　of　the　young　man's　footsteps　ascending　the　stairs　became　inaudible；

and　the　house　was　quiet。　　But　presently；　as　Sheridan　sat　staring　angrily　at

the　fire；　the　shuffling　of　a　pair　of　slipers　could　be　heard　descending；　and

Mrs。　Sheridan　made　her　appearance；　her　oblique　expression　and　the　state　of　her

toilette　being　those　of　a　person　who；　after　trying　unsuccessfully　to　sleep　on

one　side；　has　got　up　to　look　for　burglars。



〃Papa！〃　she　exclaimed；　drowsily。　　〃Why'n't　you　go　to　bed？　　It　must　be　goin'　on

'leven　o'clock！〃



She　yawned；　and　seated　herself　near　him；　stretching　out　her　hands　to　the　fire。

〃What's　the　matter？〃　she　asked；　sleep　and　anxiety　striving　sluggishly　with

each　other　in　her　voice。　　〃I　knew　you　were　worried　all　dinner…time。　　You　got

something　new　on　your　mind　besides　Jim's　bein'　taken　away　like　he　was。　　What's

worryin'　you　now；　papa？〃



〃Nothin'。〃



She　jeered　feebly。　　〃N'　tell　ME　that！　　You　sat　up　to　see　Bibbs；　didn't　you？〃



〃He　starts　in　at　the　shop　again　to…morrow　morning；〃　said　Sheridan。



〃Just　the　same　as　he　did　before？〃



〃Just　pre…CISELY！〃



〃Howhow　long　you　goin'　to　keep　him　at　it；　papa？〃　she　asked；　timidly。



〃Until　he　KNOWS　something！〃　　The　unhappy　man　struck　his　palms　together；　then

got　to　his　feet　and　began　to　pace　the　room；　as　was　his　wont　when　he　talked。

〃He'll　go　back　to　the　machine　he　couldn't　learn　to　tend　properly　in　the　six

months　he　was　there；　and　he'll　stick　to　it　till　he　DOES　learn　it！　　Do　you

suppose　that　lummix　ever　asked　himself　WHY　I　want　him　to　learn　it？　　No！　　And　I

ain't　a…goin'　to　tell　him；　either！　　When　he　went　there　I　had　'em　set　him　on

the　simplest　machine　we　gotand　he　stuck　there！　　How　much　prospect　would

there　be　of　his　learnin'　to　run　the　whole　business　if　he　can't　run　the　easiest

machine　in　it？　　I　sent　him　there　to　make　him　THOROUGH。　　And　what　happened？　　He

didn't　LIKE　it！　　That　boy's　whole　life；　there's　been　a　settin'　up　o'　something

mulish　that's　against　everything　I　want　him　to　do。　　I　don't　know　what　it　is；

but　it's　got　to　be　worked　out　of　him。　　Now；　labor　ain't　any　more　a　simple

question　than　what　it　was　when　we　were　young。　　My　idea　is　that；　outside　o'

union　troubles；　the　man　that　can　manage　workin'…in　men　is　the　man　that's　been

one　himself。　　Well；　I　set　Bibbs　to　learn　the　men　and　to　learn　the　business；

and　HE　set　himself　to　balk　on　the　first　job！　　That's　what　he　did；　and　the

balk's　lasted　close　on　to　three　years。　　If　he　balks　again　I'm　just　done　with

him！　　Sometimes　I　feel　like　I　was　pretty　near　done　with　everything；　anyhow！〃



〃I　knew　there　was　something　else；〃　said　Mrs。　Sheridan；　blinking　over　a　yawn。

〃You　better　let　it　go　till　to…morrow　and　get　to　bed　now'less　you'll　tell

me？〃



〃Suppose　something　happened　to　Roscoe；〃　he　said。　　〃THEN　what'd　I　have　to　look

forward　to？　　THEN　what　could　I　depend　on　to　hold　things　together？　　A　lummix！

A　lummix　that　hasn't　learned　how　to　push　a　strip　o'　zinc　along　a　groove！〃



〃Roscoe？〃　she　yawned。　　〃You　needn't　worry　about　Roscoe；　papa。　　He's　the

strongest　child　we　had。　　I　never　did　know　anybody　keep　better　health　than　he

does。　　I　don't　believe　he's　even　had　a　cold　in　five　years。　　You　better　go　up

to　bed；　papa。〃



〃Suppose　something　DID　happen　to　him；　though。　　You　don't　know　what　it　means；

keepin'　property　together　these　daysjust　keepin'　it　ALIVE；　let　alone　makin'

it　grow　the　way　I　do。　　I've　seen　too　many　estates　hacked　away　in　chunks；　big

and　little。　　I　tell　you　when　a　man　dies　the　wolves　come　out　o'　the　woods；　pack

after　pack；　to　see　what　they　can　tear　off　for　themselves；　and　if　that　dead

man's　chuldern　ain't　on　the　job；　night　and　day；　everything　he　built　'll　get

carried　off。　　Carried　off？　　I've　seen　a　big　fortune　behave　like　an　ash…barrel

in　a　cyclonethere　wasn't　even　a　dust…heap　left　to　tell　where　it　stood！　　I've

seen　it；　time　and　again。　　My　Lord！　when　I　think　o'　such　things　comin'　to　ME！

It　don't　seem　like　I　deserved　itno　man　ever　tried　harder　to　raise　his　boys

right　than　I　have。　　I　planned　and　planned　and　planned　how　to　bring　'em　up　to

be　guards　to　drive　the　wolves　off；　and　how　to　be　builders　to　build；　and　build

bigger。　　I　tell　you　this　business　life　is　no　fool's　job　nowadaysa　man's　got

to