the turmoil-第39章

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back　at　noon；　they　began　to　be　talkative　again。



〃Mary；〃　said　Bibbs；　after　a　time；　〃am　I　a　sleep…walker？〃



She　laughed　a　little；　then　looked　grave。　　〃Does　your　father　say　you　are？〃



〃Yeswhen　he's　in　a　mood　to　flatter　me。　　Other　times；　other　names。　　He　has

quite　a　list。〃



〃You　mustn't　mind；〃　she　said；　gently。　　〃He's　been　getting　some　pretty　severe

shocks。　　What　you've　told　me　makes　me　pretty　sorry　for　him；　Bibbs。　I've　always

been　sure　he's　very　big。〃



〃Yes。　　Big　andblind。　　He's　like　a　Hercules　without　eyes　and　without　any

consciousness　except　that　of　his　strength　and　of　his　purpose　to　grow　stronger。

Stronger　for　what？　　For　nothing。〃



〃Are　you　sure；　Bibbs？　　It　CAN'T　be　for　nothing；　it　must　be　stronger　for

something；　even　though　he　doesn't　know　what　it　is。　　Perhaps　what　he　and　his

kind　are　struggling　for　is　something　so　great　they　COULDN'T　see　itso　great

none　of　us　could　see　it。〃



〃No；　he's　just　like　some　blind；　unconscious　thing　heaving　underground〃



〃Till　he　breaks　through　and　leaps　out　into　the　daylight；〃　she　finished　for

him；　cheerily。



〃Into　the　smoke；〃　said　Bibbs。　　〃Look　at　the　powder　of　coal…dust　already

dirtying　the　decent　snow；　even　though　it's　Sunday。　　That's　from　the　little

pigs；　the　big　ones　aren't　so　bad；　on　Sunday！　　There's　a　fleck　of　soot　on　your

cheek。　　Some　pig　sent　it　out　into　the　air；　he　might　as　well　have　thrown　it　on

you。　　It　would　have　been　braver；　for　then　he'd　have　taken　his　chance　of　my

whipping　him　for　it　if　I　could。〃



〃IS　there　soot　on　my　cheek；　Bibbs；　or　were　you　only　saying　so　rhetorically？

IS　there？〃



〃Is　there？　　There　ARE　soot　on　your　cheeks；　Marya　fleck　on　each。　　One　landed

since　I　mentioned　the　first。〃



She　halted　immediately；　giving　him　her　handkerchief；　and　he　succeeded　in

transferring　most　of　the　black　from　her　face　to　the　cambric。　　They　were

entirely　matter…of…course　about　it。



An　elderly　couple；　it　chanced；　had　been　walking　behind　Bibbs　and　Mary　for　the

last　block　or　so；　and　passed　ahead　during　the　removal　of　the　soot。　〃There！〃

said　the　elderly　wife。　　〃You're　always　wrong　when　you　begin　guessing　about

strangers。　　Those　two　young　people　aren't　honeymooners　at　allthey've　been

married　for　years。　　A　blind　man　could　see　that。〃



〃I　wish　I　did　know　who　threw　that　soot　on　you；〃　said　Bibbs；　looking　up　at　the

neighboring　chimneys；　as　they　went　on。　　〃They　arrest　children　for　throwing

snowballs　at　the　street…cars；　but〃



〃But　they　don't　arrest　the　street…cars　for　shaking　all　the　pictures　in　the

houses　crooked　every　time　they　go　by。　　Nor　for　the　uproar　they　make。　　I　wonder

what's　the　cost　in　nerves　for　the　noise　of　the　city　each　year。　Yes；　we　pay　the

price　for　living　in　a　'growing　town；'　whether　we　have　money　to　pay　or　none。〃



〃Who　is　it　gets　the　pay？〃　said　Bibbs。



〃Not　I！〃　she　laughed。



〃Nobody　gets　it。　　There　isn't　any　pay；　there's　only　money。　　And　only　some　of

the　men　down…town　get　much　of　that。　　That's　what　my　father　wants　me　to　get。〃



〃Yes；〃　she　said；　smiling　to　him；　and　nodding。　　〃And　you　don't　want　it；　and　you

don't　need　it。〃



〃But　you　don't　think　I'm　a　sleep…walker；　Mary？〃　　He　had　told　her　of　his

father's　new　plans　for　him；　though　he　had　not　described　the　vigor　and

picturesqueness　of　their　setting　forth。　　〃You　think　I'm　right？〃



〃A　thousand　times！〃　she　cried。　　〃There　aren't　so　many　happy　people　in　this

world；　I　thinkand　you　say　you've　found　what　makes　you　happy。　　If　it's　a

dreamkeep　it！〃



〃The　thought　of　going　down　thereinto　the　money　shuffleI　hate　it　as　I　never

hated　the　shop！〃　he　said。　　〃I　hate　it！　　And　the　city　itself；　the　city　that　the

money　shuffle　has　madejust　look　at　it！　　Look　at　it　in　winter。　　The　snow's

tried　hard　to　make　the　ugliness　bearable；　but　the　ugliness　is　winning；　it's

making　the　snow　hideous；　the　snow's　getting　dirty　on　top；　and　it's　foul

underneath　with　the　dirt　and　disease　of　the　unclean　street。　　And　the　dirt　and

the　ugliness　and　the　rush　and　the　noise　aren't　the　worst　of　it；　it's　what　the

dirt　and　ugliness　and　rush　and　noise　MEANthat's　the　worst！　　The　outward

things　are　insufferable；　but　they're　only　the　expression　of　a　spirita　blind

enbryo　of　a　spirit；　not　yet　a　souloh；　just　greed！　　And　this　'go　ahead'

nonsense！　　Oughtn't　it　all　to　be　a　fellowship？　　I　shouldn't　want　to　get　ahead

if　I　couldI'd　want　to　help　the　other　fellow　to　keep　up　with　me。〃



〃I　read　something　the　other　day　and　remembered　it　for　you；〃　said　Mary。　〃It　was

something　Burne…Jones　said　of　a　picture　he　was　going　to　paint：　'In　the　first

picture　I　shall　make　a　man　walking　in　the　street　of　a　great　city；　full　of　all

kinds　of　happy　life：　children；　and　lovers　walking；　and　ladies　leaning　from　the

windows　all　down　great　lengths　of　street　leading　to　the　city　walls；　and　there

the　gates　are　wide　open；　letting　in　a　space　of　green　field　and　cornfield　in

harvest；　and　all　round　his　head　a　great　rain　of　swirling　autumn　leaves　blowing

from　a　lttle　walled　graveyard。〃



〃And　if　I　painted；〃　Bibbs　returned；　〃I'd　paint　a　lady　walking　in　the　street　of

a　great　city；　full　of　all　kinds　of　uproarious　and　futile　life　children　being

taught　only　how　to　make　money；　and　lovers　hurrying　to　get　richer；　and　ladies

who'd　given　up　trying　to　wash　their　windows　clean；　and　the　gates　of　the　city

wide　open；　letting　in　slums　and　slaughter…houses　and　freight…yards；　and　all

round　this　lady's　head　a　great　rain　of　swirling　soot〃　　He　paused；　adding；

thoughtfully：　〃And　yet　I　believe　I'm　glad　that　soot　got　on　your　cheek。　　It　was

just　as　if　I　were　your　brother　the　way　you　gave　me　your　handkerchief　to　rub

it　off　for　you。　　Still；　Edith　never〃



〃Didn't　she？〃　said　Mary；　as　he　paused　again。



〃No。　　And　I〃　　He　contented　himself　with　shaking　his　head　instead　of　offering

more　definite　information。　　Then　he　realized　that　they　were　passing　the　New

House；　and　he　sighed　profoundly。　　〃Mary；　our　walk's　almost　over。〃



She　looked　as　blank。　　〃So　it　is；　Bibbs。〃



They　said　no　more　until　they　came　to　her　gate。　　As　they　drifted　slowly　to　a

stop；　the　door　of　Roscoe's　house　opened；　and　Roscoe　came　out　with　Sibyl；　who

was　startlingly　pale。　　She　seemed　little　enfeebled　by　her　illness；　however；

walking　rather　quickly　at　her　husband's　side　and　not　taking　his　arm。　　The　two

crossed　the　street　without　appearing　to　see　Mary　and　her　companion；　and

entering　the　New　House；　were　lost　to　sight。　　Mary　gazed　after　them　gravely；

but　Bibbs；　looking　at　Mary；　did　not　see　them。



〃Mary；〃　he　said；　〃you　seem　very　serious。　　Is　anything　bothering　you？〃



〃No；　Bibbs。〃　　And　she　gave　him　a　bright；　quick　look　that　made　him　instantly

unreasonably　happy。



〃I　know　you　want　to　go　in〃　he　began。



〃No。　　I　don't　want　to。〃



〃I　mustn't　keep　you　standing　her；　and　I　mustn't　go　in　with　youbutI　just

wanted　to　sayI've　seemed　very　stupid　to　myself　this　morning；　grumbling　about

soot　and　all　thatwhile　all　the　time　IMary；　I　think　it's　been　the　very

happiest　of　all　the　hours　you've　given　me。　　I　do。　　And　I　don't　know　just

whybut　it's　seemed　to　me　that　it　was　one　I'd　always　remember。　　And　you；〃　he

added；　falteringly；　〃you　look　soso　beautiful　to…day！〃



〃It　must　have　been　the　soot　on　my　cheek；　Bibbs。〃



〃Mary；　will　you　tell　me　something？〃　he　asked。



〃I　think　I　will。〃



〃It's　something　I've　had　a　lot　of　theories　about；　but　none　of　them　ever　just

fits。　　You　used　to　wear　furs　in　the　fall；　but　now　it's　so　much　colder；　you

don'tyou　never　wear　them　at　all　any　more。　　Why　don't　you？〃



Her　eyes　fell　for　a　moment；　and　she　grew　red。　　Then　she　looked　up　gaily。

〃Bibbs；　if　I　tell　you　the　answer　will　you　promise　not　to　ask　any　more

questions？〃



〃Yes。　　Why　did　you　stop　wearing　them？〃



〃Because　I　found　I'd　be　warmer　without　them！〃　　She　caught　his　hand　quickly　in

her　own　for　an　instant；　laughed　into　his　eyes；　and　ran　into　the　house。





It　is　the　consoling　attribute　of　unused　books　that　their　decorative　warmth

will　so　often　make　even　a　ready…made　library　the　actual　〃living…room〃　of　a

family　to　whom　the　shelved　volumes　are　indeed　sealed。　　Thus　it　was　with

Sheridan；　who　read　nothing　except　newspapers；　business　letters；　and　figures；

who　looked　upon　books　as　he　looked　upon　bric…a…brac　or　crocheting　when　he

was　at　home；　and　not　abed　or　eating；　he　was　in　the　library。



He　stood　in　the　many…colored　light　of　the　stained…glass　window　at　the　far　end

of　the　long　room；　when　Roscoe　and　his　wife　came　in；　and　he　exhaled　a

solemnity。　　His　deference　to　the　Sabbath　was　manifest；　as　always；　in　the

length　of　his　coat　and　the　closeness　of　his　Saturday…night　shave；　and　his

expression；　to　match　this　religious　pomp；　was　more　than　Sabbatical；　but　the

most　dismaying　of　his　demonstrations　was　his　keeping　his　hand　in　his　sling。



Sibyl　advanced　to　the　middle　of　the　room　and　halted　there；　not　looking　at　him；

but　down　at　her　muff；　in　which；　it　could　be　seen；　her　hands　were　nervously

moving。　　Roscoe　went　to　a　chair　in　another　part　of　the　room。　There　was　a

deadly　silence。



But　Sibyl　found　a　shaky　voice；　after　an　interval　of　gulping；　though　she　was

unable　to　lift　her　eyes；　and　the　darkling　lids　continued　to　veil　them。　She

spoke　hurriedly；　like　an　ungifted　child　reciting　something　committed　to

memory；　but　her　sincerity　was　none　the　less　evident　for　that。



〃Father　Sheridan；　you　and　mother　Sheridan　have　always　been　so　kind　to　me；　and

I　would　hate　to　have　you　think　I　don't　appreciate　it；　from　the　way　I　acted。

I've　come　to　tell　you　I　am　sorry　for　the　way　I　did　that　night；　and　to　say　I

know　as　well　as　anybody　the　way　I　behaved；　and　it　will　never　happen　again；

because　it's　been　a　pretty　hard　lesson；　and　when　we　come　back；　some　day；　I

hope　you'll　see　that　you've　got　a　daughter…in…law　you　never　need　to　be　ashamed

of　again。　　I　want　to　ask　you　to　excuse　me　for　the　way　I　did；　and　I　can　say　I

haven't　any　feelings　toward　Edith　now；　but　only　wish　her　happiness　and　good　in

her　new　life。　　I　thank　you　for　all　your　kindness　to　me；　and　I　know　I　made　a

poor　return　for　it；　but　if　you　can　overlook　the　way　I　behaved　I　know　I　would

feel　a　good　deal　happierand　I　know　Roscoe　would；　too。　　I　wish　to　promise　not

to　be　as　foolish　in　the　future；　and　the　same　error　would　never　occur　again　to

make　us　all　so　unhappy；　if　you　can　be　charitable　enought　to　excuse　it　this

time。〃



He　looked　steadily　at　her　without　replying；　and　she　stood　before　him；　never

lifting　her　eyes；　motionless；　save　where　the　moving　fur　proved　the　agitation

of　her　hands　within　the　muff。



〃All　right；〃　he　said　at　last。



She　looked　up　then　with　vast　relief；　though　there　was　a　revelation　of　heavy

tears　when　the　eyelids　lifted。



〃Thank　you；〃　she　said。　　〃There's　something　elseabout　something　differentI

want　to　say　to　you；　but　I　want　mother　Sheridan　to　hear　it；　too。〃



〃She's　up…stairs　in　her　room；〃　said　Sheridan。　　〃Roscoe〃



Sibyl　interrupted。　　She　had　just　seen　Bibbs　pass　through　the　hall　and　begin　to

ascend　the　stairs；　and　in　a　flash　she　instinctively　perc