louis lambert-第15章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


　　perpetuity　of　revenge　to　punish　the　sin　of　a　momenta　system　of
　　injustice　and　cruelty。

　　〃Each　man　may　know　for　himself　what　hope　he　has　of　life　eternal；
　　and　whether　this　world　has　any　rational　sense。　I　mean　to　make　the
　　attempt。　And　this　attempt　may　save　the　world；　just　as　much　as　the
　　cross　at　Jerusalem　or　the　sword　at　Mecca。　These　were　both　the
　　offspring　of　the　desert。　Of　the　thirty…three　years　of　Christ's
　　life；　we　only　know　the　history　of　nine；　His　life　of　seclusion
　　prepared　Him　for　His　life　of　glory。　And　I　too　crave　for　the
　　desert！〃



Notwithstanding　the　difficulties　of　the　task；　I　have　felt　it　my　duty
to　depict　Lambert's　boyhood；　the　unknown　life　to　which　I　owe　the　only
happy　hours；　the　only　pleasant　memories；　of　my　early　days。　Excepting
during　those　two　years　I　had　nothing　but　annoyances　and　weariness。
Though　some　happiness　was　mine　at　a　later　time；　it　was　always
incomplete。

I　have　been　diffuse；　I　know；　but　in　default　of　entering　into　the　whole
wide　heart　and　brain　of　Louis　Lamberttwo　words　which　inadequately
express　the　infinite　aspects　of　his　inner　lifeit　would　be　almost
impossible　to　make　the　second　part　of　his　intellectual　history
intelligiblea　phase　that　was　unknown　to　the　world　and　to　me；　but　of
which　the　mystical　outcome　was　made　evident　to　my　eyes　in　the　course
of　a　few　hours。　Those　who　have　not　already　dropped　this　volume；　will；
I　hope；　understand　the　events　I　still　have　to　tell；　forming　as　they　do
a　sort　of　second　existence　lived　by　this　creaturemay　I　not　say　this
creation？in　whom　everything　was　to　be　so　extraordinary；　even　his
end。



When　Louis　returned　to　Blois；　his　uncle　was　eager　to　procure　him　some
amusement；　but　the　poor　priest　was　regarded　as　a　perfect　leper　in　that
godly…minded　town。　No　one　would　have　anything　to　say　to　a
revolutionary　who　had　taken　the　oaths。　His　society；　therefore；
consisted　of　a　few　individuals　of　what　were　then　called　liberal　or
patriotic；　or　constitutional　opinions；　on　whom　he　would　call　for　a
rubber　of　whist　or　of　boston。

At　the　first　house　where　he　was　introduced　by　his　uncle；　Louis　met　a
young　lady；　whose　circumstances　obliged　her　to　remain　in　this　circle；
so　contemned　by　those　of　the　fashionable　world；　though　her　fortune　was
such　as　to　make　it　probable　that　she　might　by　and　by　marry　into　the
highest　aristocracy　of　the　province。　Mademoiselle　Pauline　de　Villenoix
was　sole　heiress　to　the　wealth　amassed　by　her　grandfather；　a　Jew　named
Salomon；　who；　contrary　to　the　customs　of　his　nation；　had；　in　his　old
age；　married　a　Christian　and　a　Catholic。　He　had　only　one　son；　who　was
brought　up　in　his　mother's　faith。　At　his　father's　death　young　Salomon
purchased　what　was　known　at　that　time　as　a　/savonnette　a　vilain/
（literally　/a　cake　of　soap　for　a　serf/）；　a　small　estate　called
Villenoix；　which　he　contrived　to　get　registered　with　a　baronial　title；
and　took　its　name。　He　died　unmarried；　but　he　left　a　natural　daughter；
to　whom　he　bequeathed　the　greater　part　of　his　fortune；　including　the
lands　of　Villenoix。　He　appointed　one　of　his　uncles；　Monsieur　Joseph
Salomon；　to　be　the　girl's　guardian。　The　old　Jew　was　so　devoted　to　his
ward　that　he　seemed　willing　to　make　great　sacrifices　for　the　sake　of
marrying　her　well。　But　Mademoiselle　de　Villenoix's　birth；　and　the
cherished　prejudice　against　Jews　that　prevails　in　the　provinces；　would
not　allow　of　her　being　received　in　the　very　exclusive　circle　which；
rightly　or　wrongly；　considers　itself　noble；　notwithstanding　her　own
large　fortune　and　her　guardian's。

Monsieur　Joseph　Salomon　was　resolved　that　if　she　could　not　secure　a
country　squire；　his　niece　should　go　to　Paris　and　make　choice　of　a
husband　among　the　peers　of　France；　liberal　or　monarchical；　as　to
happiness；　that　he　believed　he　could　secure　her　by　the　terms　of　the
marriage　contract。

Mademoiselle　de　Villenoix　was　now　twenty。　Her　remarkable　beauty　and
gifts　of　mind　were　surer　guarantees　of　happiness　than　those　offered　by
money。　Her　features　were　of　the　purest　type　of　Jewish　beauty；　the　oval
lines；　so　noble　and　maidenly；　have　an　indescribable　stamp　of　the
ideal；　and　seem　to　speak　of　the　joys　of　the　East；　its　unchangeably
blue　sky；　the　glories　of　its　lands；　and　the　fabulous　riches　of　life
there。　She　had　fine　eyes；　shaded　by　deep　eyelids；　fringed　with　thick；
curled　lashes。　Biblical　innocence　sat　on　her　brow。　Her　complexion　was
of　the　pure　whiteness　of　the　Levite's　robe。　She　was　habitually　silent
and　thoughtful；　but　her　movements　and　gestures　betrayed　a　quiet　grace；
as　her　speech　bore　witness　to　a　woman's　sweet　and　loving　nature。　She
had　not；　indeed；　the　rosy　freshness；　the　fruit…like　bloom　which　blush
on　a　girl's　cheek　during　her　careless　years。　Darker　shadows；　with　here
and　there　a　redder　vein；　took　the　place　of　color；　symptomatic　of　an
energetic　temper　and　nervous　irritability；　such　as　many　men　do　not
like　to　meet　with　in　a　wife；　while　to　others　they　are　an　indication　of
the　most　sensitive　chastity　and　passion　mingled　with　pride。

As　soon　as　Louis　saw　Mademoiselle　de　Villenoix；　he　discerned　the　angel
within。　The　richest　powers　of　his　soul；　and　his　tendency　to　ecstatic
reverie；　every　faculty　within　him　was　at　once　concentrated　in
boundless　love；　the　first　love　of　a　young　man；　a　passion　which　is
strong　indeed　in　all；　but　which　in　him　was　raised　to　incalculable
power　by　the　perennial　ardor　of　his　senses；　the　character　of　his
ideas；　and　the　manner　in　which　he　lived。　This　passion　became　a　gulf；
into　which　the　hapless　fellow　threw　everything；　a　gulf　whither　the
mind　dare　not　venture；　since　his；　flexible　and　firm　as　it　was；　was
lost　there。　There　all　was　mysterious；　for　everything　went　on　in　that
moral　world；　closed　to　most　men；　whose　laws　were　revealed　to　him
perhaps　to　his　sorrow。

When　an　accident　threw　me　in　the　way　of　his　uncle；　the　good　man　showed
me　into　the　room　which　Lambert　had　at　that　time　lived　in。　I　wanted　to
find　some　vestiges　of　his　writings；　if　he　should　have　left　any。　There
among　his　papers；　untouched　by　the　old　man　from　that　fine　instinct　of
grief　that　characterized　the　aged；　I　found　a　number　of　letters；　too
illegible　ever　to　have　been　sent　to　Mademoiselle　de　Villenoix。　My
familiarity　with　Lambert's　writing　enabled　me　in　time　to　decipher　the
hieroglyphics　of　this　shorthand；　the　result　of　impatience　and　a　frenzy
of　passion。　Carried　away　by　his　feelings；　he　had　written　without　being
conscious　of　the　irregularity　of　words　too　slow　to　express　his
thoughts。　He　must　have　been　compelled　to　copy　these　chaotic　attempts；
for　the　lines　often　ran　into　each　other；　but　he　was　also　afraid
perhaps　of　not　having　sufficiently　disguised　his　feelings；　and　at
first；　at　any　rate；　he　had　probably　written　his　love…letters　twice
over。

It　required　all　the　fervency　of　my　devotion　to　his　memory；　and　the
sort　of　fanaticism　which　comes　of　such　a　task；　to　enable　me　to　divine
and　restore　the　meaning　of　the　five　letters　that　here　follow。　These
documents；　preserved　by　me　with　pious　care；　are　the　only　material
evidence　of　his　overmastering　passion。　Mademoiselle　de　Villenoix　had
no　doubt　destroyed　the　real　letters　that　she　received；　eloquent
witnesses　to　the　delirium　she　inspired。

The　first　of　these　papers；　evidently　a　rough　sketch；　betrays　by　its
style　and　by　its　length　the　many　emendations；　the　heartfelt　alarms；
the　innumerable　terrors　caused　by　a　desire　to　please；　the　changes　of
expression　and　the　hesitation　between　the　whirl　of　ideas　that　beset　a
man　as　he　indites　his　first　love…lettera　letter　he　never　will
forget；　each　line　the　result　of　a　reverie；　each　word　the　subject　of
long　cogitation；　while　the　most　unbridled　passion　known　to　man　feels
the　necessity　of　the　most　reserved　utterance；　and　like　a　giant
stooping　to　enter　a　hovel；　speaks　humbly　and　low；　so　as　not　to　alarm　a
girl's　soul。

No　antiquary　ever　handled　his　palimpsests　with　greater　respect　than　I
showed　in　reconstructing　these　mutilated　documents　of　such　joy　and
suffering　as　must　always　be　sacred　to　those　who　have　known　similar　joy
and　grief。



I

　　〃Mademoiselle；　when　you　have　read　this　letter；　if　you　ever　should
　　read　it；　my　life　will　be　in　your　hands；　for　I　love　you；　and　to　me；
　　the　hope　of　being　loved　is　life。　Others；　perhaps；　ere　now；　have；
　　in　speaking　of　themselves；　misused　the　words　I　must　employ　to
　　depict　the　state　of　my　soul；　yet；　I　beseech　you　to　believe　in　the
　　truth　of　my　expressions；　though　weak；　they　are　sincere。　Perhaps　I
　　ought　not　thus　to　proclaim　my　love。　Indeed；　my　heart　counseled　me
　　to　wait　in　silence　till　my　passion　should　touch　you；　that　I　might
　　the　better　conceal　it　if　its　silent　demonstrations　should
　　displease　you；　or　till　I　could　express　it　even　more　delicately
　　than　in　words　if　I　found　favor　in　your　eyes。　However；　after　having
　　listened　for　long　to　the　coy　fears　that　fill　a　youthful　heart　with
　　alarms；　I　write　in　obedience　to　the　instinct　which　drags　useless
　　lamentations　from　the　dying。

　　〃It　has　needed　all　my　courage　to　silence　the　pride　of　poverty；　and
　　to　overleap　the　barriers　which　prejudice　erects　between　you　and
　　me。　I　have　had　to　smother　many　reflections　to　love　you　in　spite　of
　　your　wealth；　and　as　I　write　to　you；　am　I　not　in　danger　of　the
　　scorn　which　women　often　reserve　for　profession　of　love；　which　they
　　accept　only　as　one　more　tribute　of　flattery？　But　we　cannot　help
　　rushing　with　all　our　might　towards　happiness；　or　being　attracted
　　to　the　life　of　love　as　a　plant　is　to　the　light；　we　must　have　been
　　very　unhappy　before　we　can　conquer　the　torment；　the　anguish　of
　　those　secret　deliberations　when　reason　proves　to　us　by　a　thousand
　　arguments　how　barren　our　yearning　must　be　if　it　remains　buried　in
　　our　hearts；　and　when　hopes　bid　us　dare　everything。

　　〃I　was　happy　when　I　admired　you　in　silence；　I　was　so　lost　in　the
　　contemplation　of　your　beautiful　soul；　that　only　to　see　you　left　me
　　hardly　anything　further　to　imagine。　And　I　should　not　now　have
　　dared　to　address　you　if　I　had　not　heard　that　you　were　leaving。
　　What　misery　has　that　one　word　brought　upon　me！　Indeed；　it　is　my
　　despair　that　has　shown　me　the　extent　of　my　attachmentit　is
　　unbounded。　Mademoiselle；　you　will　never　knowat　least；　I　hope　you
　　may　never　knowthe　anguish　of　dreading　lest　you　should　lose　the
　　only　happiness　that　has　dawned　on　you　on　earth；　the　only　thing
　　that　has　thrown　a　gleam　of　light　in　the　darkness　of　misery。　I
　　understood　yesterday　that　my　life　was　no　more　in　myself；　but　in
　　you。　There　is　but　one　woman　in　the　world　for　me；　as　there　is　but
　　one　thought　in　my　soul。　I　dare　not　tell　you　to　what　a　state　I　am
　　reduced　by　my　love　for　you。　I　would　have　you　only　as　a　gift　from
　　yourself；　I　must　therefore　avoid　showing　myself　to　you　in　all　the
　　attractiveness　of　dejectionfor　is　it　not　often　more　impressive
　　to　a　noble　soul　than　that　of　good　fortune？　There　are　many　things　I
　　may　not　tell　you。　Indeed；　I　have　too　lofty　a　notion　of　love　to
　　taint　it　with　ideas　that　are　alien　to　its　nature。　If　my　soul　is
　　worthy　of　yours；　and　my　life　pure；　your　heart　will　have　a
　　sympathetic　insight；　and　you　will　understand　me！

　　〃It　is　the　fate　of　man　to　offer　himself　to　the　woman　who　can　make
　　him　believe　in　happiness；　but　it　is　your　prerogative　to　rej