the vicar of wakefield-第17章
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d that the new performer was my son; sent his coach; and an invitation; for him; and as he persisted in his refusal to appear again upon the stage; the players put another in his place; and we soon had him with us。 Mr Arnold gave him the kindest reception; and I received him with my usual transport; for I could never counterfeit false resentment。 Miss Wilmot's reception was mixed with seeming neglect; and yet I could perceive she acted a studied part。 The tumult in her mind seemed not yet abated; she said twenty giddy things that looked like joy; and then laughed loud at her own want of meaning。 At intervals she would take a sly peep at the glass; as if happy in the consciousness of unresisting beauty; and often would ask questions; without giving any manner of attention to the answers。
CHAPTER 20
The history of a philosophic vagabond; pursuing novelty; but losing content
After we had supped; Mrs Arnold politely offered to send a couple of her footmen for my son's baggage; which he at first seemed to decline; but upon her pressing the request; he was obliged to inform her; that a stick and a wallet were all the moveable things upon this earth that he could boast of。 'Why; aye my son;' cried I; 'you left me but poor; and poor I find you are come back; and yet I make no doubt you have seen a great deal of the world。' 'Yes; Sir;' replied my son; 'but travelling after fortune; is not the way to secure her; and; indeed; of late; I have desisted from the pursuit。''I fancy; Sir;' cried Mrs Arnold; 'that the account of your adventures would be amusing: the first part of them I have often heard from my niece; but could the company prevail for the rest; it would be an additional obligation。''Madam;' replied my son; 'I promise you the pleasure you have in hearing; will not be half so great as my vanity in repeating them; and yet in the whole narrative I can scarce promise you one adventure; as my account is rather of what I saw than what I did。 The first misfortune of my life; which you all know; was great; but tho' it distrest; it could not sink me。 No person ever had a better knack at hoping than I。 The less kind I found fortune at one time; the more I expected from her another; and being now at the bottom of her wheel; every new revolution might lift; but could not depress me。 I proceeded; therefore; towards London in a fine morning; no way uneasy about tomorrow; but chearful as the birds that caroll'd by the road; and comforted myself with reflecting that London was the mart where abilities of every kind were sure of meeting distinction and reward。
'Upon my arrival in town; Sir; my first care was to deliver your letter of recommendation to our cousin; who was himself in little better circumstances than I。 My first scheme; you know; Sir; was to be usher at an academy; and I asked his advice on the affair。 Our cousin received the proposal with a true Sardonic grin。 Aye; cried he; this is indeed a very pretty career; that has been chalked out for you。 I have been an usher at a boarding school myself; and may I die by an anodyne necklace; but I had rather be an under turnkey in Newgate。 I was up early and late: I was brow… beat by the master; hated for my ugly face by the mistress; worried by the boys within; and never permitted to stir out to meet civility abroad。 But are you sure you are fit for a school? Let me examine you a little。 Have you been bred apprentice to the business? No。 Then you won't do for a school。 Can you dress the boys hair? No。 Then you won't do for a school。 Have you had the small…pox? No。 Then you won't do for a school。 Can you lie three in a bed? No。 Then you will never do for a school。 Have you got a good stomach? Yes。 Then you will by no means do for a school。 No; Sir; if you are for a genteel easy profession; bind yourself seven years as an apprentice to turn a cutler's wheel; but avoid a school by any means。 Yet come; continued he; I see you are a lad of spirit and some learning; what do you think of commencing author; like me? You have read in books; no doubt; of men of genius starving at the trade: At present I'll shew you forty very dull fellows about town that live by it in opulence。 All honest joggtrot men; who go on smoothly and dully; and write history and politics; and are praised; men; Sir; who; had they been bred coblers; would all their lives have only mended shoes; but never made them。
'Finding that there was no great degree of gentility affixed to the character of an usher; I resolved to accept his proposal; and having the highest respect for literature; hailed the antiqua mater of Grub…street with reverence。 I thought it my glory to pursue a track which Dryden and Otway trod before me。 I considered the goddess of this region as the parent of excellence; and however an intercourse with the world might give us good sense; the poverty she granted I supposed to be the nurse of genius! Big with these reflections; I sate down; and finding that the best things remained to be said on the wrong side; I resolved to write a book that should be wholly new。 I therefore drest up three paradoxes with some ingenuity。 They were false; indeed; but they were new。 The jewels of truth have been so often imported by others; that nothing was left for me to import but some splendid things that at a distance looked every bit as well。 Witness you powers what fancied importance sate perched upon my quill while I was writing。 The whole learned world; I made no doubt; would rise to oppose my systems; but then I was prepared to oppose the whole learned world。 Like the porcupine I sate self collected; with a quill pointed against every opposer。'
'Well said; my boy;' cried I; 'and what subject did you treat upon? I hope you did not pass over the importance of Monogamy。 But I interrupt; go on; you published your paradoxes; well; and what did the learned world say to your paradoxes?'
'Sir;' replied my son; 'the learned world said nothing to my paradoxes; nothing at all; Sir。 Every man of them was employed in praising his friends and himself; or condemning his enemies; and unfortunately; as I had neither; I suffered the cruellest mortification; neglect。
'As I was meditating one day in a coffee…house on the fate of my paradoxes; a little man happening to enter the room; placed himself in the box before me; and after some preliminary discourse; finding me to be a scholar; drew out a bundle of proposals; begging me to subscribe to a new edition he was going to give the world of Propertius; with notes。 This demand necessarily produced a reply that I had no money; and that concession led him to enquire into the nature of my expectations。 Finding that my expectations were just as great as my purse; I see; cried he; you are unacquainted with the town; I'll teach you a part of it。 Look at these proposals; upon these very proposals I have subsisted very comfortably for twelve years。 The moment a nobleman returns from his travels; a Creolian arrives from Jamaica; or a dowager from her country seat; I strike for a subscription。 I first besiege their hearts with flattery; and then pour in my proposals at the breach。 If they subscribe readily the first time; I renew my request to beg a dedication fee。 If they let me have that; I smite them once more for engraving their coat of arms at the top。 Thus; continued he; I live by vanity; and laugh at it。 But between ourselves; I am now too well known; I should be glad to borrow your face a bit: a nobleman of distinction has just returned from Italy; my face is familiar to his porter; but if you bring this copy of verses; my life for it you succeed; and we divide the spoil。'
'Bless us; George;' cried I; 'and is this the employment of poets now! Do men of their exalted talents thus stoop to beggary! Can they so far disgrace their calling; as to make a vile traffic of praise for bread?'
'O no; Sir;' returned he; 'a true poet can never be so base; for wherever there is genius there is pride。 The creatures I now describe are only beggars in rhyme。 The real poet; as he braves every hardship for fame; so he is equally a coward to contempt; and none but those who are unworthy protection condescend to solicit it。
'Having a mind too proud to stoop to such indignities; and yet a fortune too humble to hazard a second attempt for fame; I was now; obliged to take a middle course; and write for bread。 But I was unqualified for a profession where mere industry alone was to ensure success。 I could not suppress my lurking passion for applause; but usually consumed that time in efforts after excellence which takes up but little room; when it should have been more advantageously employed in the diffusive productions of fruitful mediocrity。 My little piece would therefore come forth in the mist of periodical publication; unnoticed and unknown。 The public were more importantly employed; than to observe the easy simplicity of my style; of the harmony of my periods。 Sheet after sheet was thrown off to oblivion。 My essays were buried among the essays upon liberty; eastern tales; and cures for the bite of a mad dog; while Philautos; Philalethes; Philelutheros; and Philanthropos; all wrote better; because they wrote faster; than I。
'Now; therefore; I began to associate with none but disappointed authors; like myself; who praised; deplored; and despised each other。 The satisfaction we found in every celebrated writer's attempts; was inversely as their merits。 I found that no genius in another could please me。 My unfortunate paradoxes had entirely dried up that source of comfort。 I could neither read nor write with satisfaction; for excellence in another was my aversion; and writing was my trade。
'In the midst of these gloomy reflections; as I was one day sitting on a bench in St James's park; a young gentleman of distinction; who had been my intimate acquaintance at the university; approached me。 We saluted each other with some hesitation; he almost ashamed of being known to one who made so shabby an appearance; and I afraid of a repulse。 But my suspicions soon vanished; for Ned Thornhill was at the bottom a very good…natured fellow。
'What did you say; George?' interrupted I。 'Thornhill; was not that his name? It can certainly be no other than my landlord。' 'Bless me;' cried Mrs Arnold; 'is Mr Thornhill so near a neighbour of yours? He has long been a friend in our family; and we expect a visit from him shortly。'
'My friend's first care;' continued my son; 'was to alter my appearance by a very fine suit of his own cloaths; and then I was admitted to his table upon the footing of half…friend; half… underling。 My business was to attend him at auctions; to put him in spirits when he sate for his picture; to take the left hand in his chariot when not filled by another; and to assist at tattering a kip; as the phrase was; when we had a mind for a frolic。 Beside this; I had twenty other little employments in the family。 I was to do many small things without bidding; to carry the cork screw; to stand godfather to all the butler's children; to sing when I was bid; to be never out of humour; always to be humble; and; if I could; to be very happy。
'In this honourable post; however; I was not without a rival。 A captain of marines; who was formed for the place by nature; opposed me in my patron's affectio