five tales-第28章

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〃Why　do　you　beg　my　pardon？　　It　is　not　to　me　you　should　do　that。〃

〃Well；　then；　to　Joe。〃

〃How　dare　he　come　after　me？〃

〃In　love　with　you；　I　suppose。〃

She　stamped　her　foot。

Ashurst　uttered　a　short　laugh。　　〃Would　you　like　me　to　punch　his　head？〃

She　cried　with　sudden　passion：

〃You　laugh　at　me…you　laugh　at　us！〃

He　caught　hold　of　her　hands；　but　she　shrank　back；　till　her　passionate　little　face　and　loose　dark　hair　were　caught　among　the　pink　clusters　of　the　apple　blossom。　　Ashurst　raised　one　of　her　imprisoned　hands　and　put　his　lips　to　it。　　He　felt　how　chivalrous　he　was；　and　superior　to　that　clod　Joejust　brushing　that　small；　rough　hand　with　his　mouth　I　Her　shrinking　ceased　suddenly；　she　seemed　to　tremble　towards　him。　　A　sweet　warmth　overtook　Ashurst　from　top　to　toe。　　This　slim　maiden；　so　simple　and　fine　and　pretty；　was　pleased；　then；　at　the　touch　of　his　lips！　　And；　yielding　to　a　swift　impulse；　he　put　his　arms　round　her；　pressed　her　to　him；　and　kissed　her　forehead。　　Then　he　was　frightened…　…she　went　so　pale；　closing　her　eyes；　so　that　the　long；　dark　lashes　lay　on　her　pale　cheeks；　her　hands；　too；　lay　inert　at　her　sides。　　The　touch　of　her　breast　sent　a　shiver　through　him。　　〃Megan！〃　　he　sighed　out；　and　let　her　go。　　In　the　utter　silence　a　blackbird　shouted。　　Then　the　girl　seized　his　hand；　put　it　to　her　cheek；　her　heart；　her　lips；　kissed　it　passionately；　and　fled　away　among　the　mossy　trunks　of　the　apple　trees；　till　they　hid　her　from　him。

Ashurst　sat　down　on　a　twisted　old　tree　growing　almost　along　the　ground；　and；　all　throbbing　and　bewildered；　gazed　vacantly　at　the　blossom　which　had　crowned　her　hairthose　pink　buds　with　one　white　open　apple　star。　　What　had　he　done？　　How　had　he　let　himself　be　thus　stampeded　by　beautypityorjust　the　spring！　　He　felt　curiously　happy；　all　the　same；　happy　and　triumphant；　with　shivers　running　through　his　limbs；　and　a　vague　alarm。　　This　was　the　beginning　of　what？　　The　midges　bit　him；　the　dancing　gnats　tried　to　fly　into　his　mouth；　and　all　the　spring　around　him　seemed　to　grow　more　lovely　and　alive；　the　songs　of　the　cuckoos　and　the　blackbirds；　the　laughter　of　the　yaflies；　the　level…slanting　sunlight；　the　apple　blossom　which　had　crowned　her　head！　　He　got　up　from　the　old　trunk　and　strode　out　of　the　orchard；　wanting　space；　an　open　sky；　to　get　on　terms　with　these　new　sensations。　　He　made　for　the　moor；　and　from　an　ash　tree　in　the　hedge　a　magpie　flew　out　to　herald　him。

Of　manat　any　age　from　five　years　onwho　can　say　he　has　never　been　in　love？　　Ashurst　had　loved　his　partners　at　his　dancing　class；　loved　his　nursery　governess；　girls　in　school…holidays；　perhaps　never　been　quite　out　of　love；　cherishing　always　some　more　or　less　remote　admiration。　　But　this　was　different；　not　remote　at　all。　　Quite　a　new　sensation；　terribly　delightful；　bringing　a　sense　of　completed　manhood。　　To　be　holding　in　his　fingers　such　a　wild　flower；　to　be　able　to　put　it　to　his　lips；　and　feel　it　tremble　with　delight　against　them！　What　intoxication；　andembarrassment！　　What　to　do　with　ithow　meet　her　next　time？　　His　first　caress　had　been　cool；　pitiful；　but　the　next　could　not　be；　now　that；　by　her　burning　little　kiss　on　his　hand；　by　her　pressure　of　it　to　her　heart；　he　knew　that　she　loved　him。　　Some　natures　are　coarsened　by　love　bestowed　on　them；　others；　like　Ashurst's；　are　swayed　and　drawn；　warmed　and　softened；　almost　exalted；　by　what　they　feel　to　be　a　sort　of　miracle。

And　up　there　among　the　tors　he　was　racked　between　the　passionate　desire　to　revel　in　this　new　sensation　of　spring　fulfilled　within　him；　and　a　vague　but　very　real　uneasiness。　　At　one　moment　he　gave　himself　up　completely　to　his　pride　at　having　captured　this　pretty；　trustful；　dewy…eyed　thing！　　At　the　next　he　thought　with　factitious　solemnity：　'Yes；　my　boy！　　But　look　out　what　you're　doing！　　You　know　what　comes　of　it！'

Dusk　dropped　down　without　his　noticingdusk　on　the　carved；　Assyrian…　looking　masses　of　the　rocks。　　And　the　voice　of　Nature　said：　〃This　is　a　new　world　for　you！〃　　As　when　a　man　gets　up　at　four　o'clock　and　goes　out　into　a　summer　morning；　and　beasts；　birds；　trees　stare　at　him　and　he　feels　as　if　all　had　been　made　new。

He　stayed　up　there　for　hours；　till　it　grew　cold；　then　groped　his　way　down　the　stones　and　heather　roots　to　the　road；　back　into　the　lane；　and　came　again　past　the　wild　meadow　to　the　orchard。　　There　he　struck　a　match　and　looked　at　his　watch。　　Nearly　twelve！　　It　was　black　and　unstirring　in　there　now；　very　different　from　the　lingering；　bird…　befriended　brightness　of　six　hours　ago！　　And　suddenly　he　saw　this　idyll　of　his　with　the　eyes　of　the　outer　worldhad　mental　vision　of　Mrs。　Narracombe's　snake…like　neck　turned；　her　quick　dark　glance　taking　it　all　in；　her　shrewd　face　hardening；　saw　the　gipsy…like　cousins　coarsely　mocking　and　distrustful；　Joe　stolid　and　furious；　only　the　lame　man；　Jim；　with　the　suffering　eyes；　seemed　tolerable　to　his　mind。　　And　the　village　pub！the　gossiping　matrons　he　passed　on　his　walks；　and　thenhis　own　friendsRobert　Carton's　smile　when　he　went　off　that　morning　ten　days　ago；　so　ironical　and　knowing！　Disgusting！　　For　a　minute　he　literally　hated　this　earthy；　cynical　world　to　which　one　belonged；　willy…nilly。　　The　gate　where　he　was　leaning　grew　grey；　a　sort　of　shimmer　passed　be　fore　him　and　spread　into　the　bluish　darkness。　The　moon！　　He　could　just　see　it　over　the　bank　be　hind；　red；　nearly　round…a　strange　moon！　　And　turning　away；　he　went　up　the　lane　which　smelled　of　the　night　and　cowdung　and　young　leaves。　　In　the　straw…yard　he　could　see　the　dark　shapes　of　cattle；　broken　by　the　pale　sickles　of　their　horns；　like　so　many　thin　moons；　fallen　ends…up。　　He　unlatched　the　farm　gate　stealthily。　　All　was　dark　in　the　house。　　Muffling　his　footsteps；　he　gained　the　porch；　and；　blotted　against　one　of　the　yew　trees；　looked　up　at　Megan's　window。　It　was　open。　　Was　she　sleeping；　or　lying　awake　perhaps；　disturbed　unhappy　at　his　absence？　　An　owl　hooted　while　he　stood　there　peering　up；　and　the　sound　seemed　to　fill　the　whole　night；　so　quiet　was　all　else；　save　for　the　never…ending　murmur　of　the　stream　running　below　the　orchard。　　The　cuckoos　by　day；　and　now　the　owlshow　wonderfully　they　voiced　this　troubled　ecstasy　within　him！　　And　suddenly　he　saw　her　at　her　window；　looking　out。　　He　moved　a　little　from　the　yew　tree；　and　whispered：　〃Megan！〃　　She　drew　back；　vanished；　reappeared；　leaning　far　down。　　He　stole　forward　on　the　grass　patch；　hit　his　shin　against　the　green…painted　chair；　and　held　his　breath　at　the　sound。　　The　pale　blur　of　her　stretched…down　arm　and　face　did　not　stir；　he　moved　the　chair；　and　noiselessly　mounted　it。　　By　stretching　up　his　arm　he　could　just　reach。　　Her　hand　held　the　huge　key　of　the　front　door；　and　he　clasped　that　burning　hand　with　the　cold　key　in　it。　　He　could　just　see　her　face；　the　glint　of　teeth　between　her　lips；　her　tumbled　hair。　　She　was　still　dressedpoor　child；　sitting　up　for　him；　no　doubt！　　〃Pretty　Megan！〃　　Her　hot；　roughened　fingers　clung　to　his；　her　face　had　a　strange；　lost　look。　　To　have　been　able　to　reach　iteven　with　his　hand！　　The　owl　hooted；　a　scent　of　sweetbriar　crept　into　his　nostrils。　Then　one　of　the　farm　dogs　barked；　her　grasp　relaxed；　she　shrank　back。

〃Good…night；　Megan！〃

〃Good…night；　sir！〃　　She　was　gone！　　With　a　sigh　he　dropped　back　to　earth；　and　sitting　on　that　chair；　took　off　his　boots。　　Nothing　for　it　but　to　creep　in　and　go　to　bed；　yet　for　a　long　while　he　sat　unmoving；　his　feet　chilly　in　the　dew；　drunk　on　the　memory　of　her　lost；　half…　smiling　face；　and　the　clinging　grip　of　her　burning　fingers；　pressing　the　cold　key　into　his　hand。




5

He　awoke　feeling　as　if　he　had　eaten　heavily　overnight；　instead　of　having　eaten　nothing。　　And　far　off；　unreal；　seemed　yesterday's　romance！　　Yet　it　was　a　golden　morning。　　Full　spring　had　burst　at　lastin　one　night　the　〃goldie…cups；〃　as　the　little　boys　called　them；　seemed　to　have　made　the　field　their　own；　and　from　his　window　he　could　see　apple　blossoms　covering　the　orchard　as　with　a　rose　and　white　quilt。　　He　went　down　almost　dreading　to　see　Megan；　and　yet；　when　not　she　but　Mrs。　Narracombe　brought　in　his　breakfast；　he　felt　vexed　and　disappointed。　　The　woman's　quick　eye　and　snaky　neck　seemed　to　have　a　new　alacrity　this　morning。　　Had　she　noticed？

〃So　you　an'　the　moon　went　walkin'　last　night；　Mr。　Ashurst！　　Did　ye　have　your　supper　anywheres？〃

Ashurst　shook　his　head。

〃We　kept　it　for　you；　but　I　suppose　you　was　too　busy　in　your　brain　to　think　o'　such　a　thing　as　that？〃

Was　she　mocking　him；　in　that　voice　of　hers；　which　still　kept　some　Welsh　crispness　against　the　invading　burr　of　the　West　Country？　　If　she　knew！　　And　at　that　moment　he　thought：　'No；　no；　I'll　clear　out。　　I　won't　put　myself　in　such　a　beastly　false　position。'

But；　after　breakfast；　the　longing　to　see　Megan　began　and　increased　with　every　minute；　together　with　fear　lest　something　should　have　been　said　to　her　which　had　spoiled　everything。　　Sinister　that　she　had　not　appeared；　not　given　him　even　a　glimpse　of　her！　　And　the　love　poem；　whose　manufacture　had　been　so　important　and　absorbing　yesterday　afternoon　under　the　apple　trees；　now　seemed　so　paltry　that　he　tore　it　up　and　rolled　it　into　pipe　spills。　　What　had　he　known　of　love；　till　she　seized　his　hand　and　kissed　it！　　And　nowwhat　did　he　not　know？　But　to　write　of　it　seemed　mere　insipidity！　　He　went　up　to　his　bedroom　to　get　a　book；　and　his　heart　began　to　beat　violently；　for　she　was　in　there　making　the　bed。　　He　stood　in　the　doorway　watching；　and　suddenly；　with　turbulent　joy；　he　saw　her　stoop　and　kiss　his　pillow；　just　at　the　hollow　made　by　his　head　last　night。

How　let　her　know　he　had　seen　that　pretty　act　of　devotion？　　And　yet；　if　she　heard　him　stealing　away；　it　would　be　even　worse。　　She　took　the　pillow　up；　holding　it　as　if　reluctant　to　shake　out　the　impress　of　his　cheek；　dropped　it；　and　turned　round。

〃Megan！〃

She　put　her　hands　up　to　her　cheeks；　but　her　eyes　seemed　to　look　right　into　him。　　He　had　never　before　realised　the　depth　and　purity　and　touching　faithfulness　in　those　dew…bright　eyes；　and　he　stammered：

〃It　was　sweet　of　you　to　wait　up　for　me　last　night。〃

She　still　said　nothing；　and　he　stammered　on：

〃I　was　wandering　about　on　the　moor；　it　was　such　a　jolly　night。　　I　I've　just　come　up　for　a　book。〃

Then；　the　kiss　he　had　seen　her　give　the　pillow　afflicted　him　with　sudden　headiness；　and　he　went　up　to　her。　　Touching　her　eyes　with　his　lips；　he　thought　with　queer　excitement：　'I've　done　it！　　Yesterday　all　was　suddenanyhow；　but　nowI've　done　it！'　The　girl　let　her　forehead　rest　against　his　lips；　which　moved　downwards　till　they　reached　hers。　That　first　real　lover's　kiss…strange；　wonderful；　still　almost　innocentin　which　heart　did　it　make　the　most　disturbance？

〃Come　to　the　big　apple　tree　to…night；　after　they've　gone　to　bed。　Megan…promise！〃

She　whispered　back：　〃I　promise。〃

Then；　scared　at　her　white　face；　scared　at　everything；　he　let　her　go；　and　went　downstairs　again。　　Yes！　　He　had　done　it　now！　　Accepted　her　love；　declared　his　own！　　He　went　out　to　the　green　chair　as　devoid　of　a　book　as　ever；　and　there　he　sat　staring　vacantly　before　him；　triumphant　and　remorseful；　while　under　his　nose　and　behind　his　back　the　work　of　the　farm　went　on。　　How　long　he　had　been　sitting　in　that　curious　state　of　vacancy　he　had　no　notion　when　he　saw　Joe　standing　a　little　behind　him　to　the　right。　　The　youth　had　evidently