the soul of the far east(远东的灵魂)-第8章
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gilded by lovelight； they glitter and sparkle like a true palace of the East。
For once all is possible； nothing lies beyond our reach。 And as we talk；
and she listens； we two seem to be floating off into an empyrean of our
own like the summer clouds above our heads； as they sail dreamily on into
the far…away depths of the unfathomable sky。
It would be more than mortal not to believe in ourselves when another
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The Soul of the Far East
believes so absolutely in us。 Our most secret thoughts are no longer
things to be ashamed of； for she has sanctioned them。 Whatever doubt may
have shadowed us as to our own imaginings disappears before the smile of
her appreciation。 That her appreciation may be prejudiced is not a
possibility we think of then。 She understands us； or seems to do so to our
own better understanding of ourselves。 Happy the man who is thus
understood！ Happy even he who imagines that he is； because of her eager
wish to comprehend； fortunate； indeed； if in this one respect he never
comes to see too clearly。
No such blissful infatuation falls to the lot of the Far Oriental。 He
never is the dupe of his own desire； the willing victim of his self…illusion。
He is never tempted to reveal himself； and by thus revealing； realize。 No
loving appreciation urges him on toward the attainment of his own ideal。
That incitement to be what he would seem to be； to become what she
deems becoming； he fails to feel。 Custom has so far fettered fancy that
even the wish to communicate has vanished。 He has now nothing to tell；
she needs no ear to hear。 For she is not his love； she is only his wife；what
is left of a romance when the romance is left out。 Worse still； she never
was anything else。 He has not so much as a memory of her； for he did
not marry her for love； he may not love of his own accord； nor for the
matter of that does he wish to do so。 If by some mischance he should so
far forget to forget himself； it were much better for him had he not done so；
for the choice of a bride is not his； nor of a bridegroom hers。 Marriage to
a Far Oriental is the most important mercantile transaction of his whole
life。 It is； therefore； far too weighty a matter to be entrusted to his
youthful indiscretion； for although the person herself is of lamentably little
account in the bargain； the character of her worldly circumstances is most
material to it。 So she is contracted for with the same care one would
exercise in the choice of any staple business commodity。 The particular
sample is not vital to the trade； but the grade of goods is。 She is selected
much as the bride of the Vicar of Wakefield chose her wedding…gown；
only that the one was at least cut to suit； while the other is not。 It is
certainly easier； if less fitting； to get a wife as some people do clothes； not
to their own order； but ready made； all the more reason when the bargain
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The Soul of the Far East
is for one's son； not one's self。 So the Far East； which looks at the thing
from a strictly paternal standpoint and ignores such trifles as personal
preferences； takes its boy to the broker's and fits him out。 That the object
of such parental care does not end by murdering his unfortunate spouse or
making way with himself suggests how dead already is that individuality
which we deem to be of the very essence of the thing。
Marriage is thus a species of investment contracted by the existing
family for the sake of the prospective one； the actual participants being
only lay figures in the affair。 Sometimes the father decides the matter
himself； sometimes he or the relative who stands in loco parentis calls for
a plebiscit on the subject； for such an extension of the suffrage has
gradually crept even into patriarchal institutions。 The family then
assemble； sit in solemn conclave on the question； and decide it by vote。
Of course the interested parties are not asked their opinion； as it might be
prejudiced。 The result of the conference must be highly gratifying。 To
have one's wife chosen for one by vote of one's relatives cannot but be
satisfactoryto the electors。 The outcome of this ballot； like that of
universal suffrage elsewhere； is at the best unobjectionable mediocrity。
Somehow such a result does not seem quite to fulfil one's ideal of a wife。
It is true that the upper classes of impersonal France practise this method
of marital selection； their conseils de famille furnishing in some sort a
parallel。 But； as is well known； matrimony among these same upper
classes is largely form devoid of substance。 It begins impressively with a
dual ceremony； the civil contract； which amounts to a contract of civility
between the parties； and a religious rite to render the same perpetual； and
there it is too apt to end。
So much for the immediate influence on the man； the eventual effect
on the race remains to be considered。 Now； if the first result be anything；
the second must in the end be everything。 For however trifling it be in
the individual instance； it goes on accumulating with each successive
generation； like compound interest。 The choosing of a wife by family
suffrage is not simply an exponent of the impersonal state of things； it is a
power toward bringing such a state of things about。 A hermit seldom
develops to his full possibilities； and the domestic variety is no exception
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to the rule。 A man who is linked to some one that toward him remains a
cipher lacks surroundings inciting to psychological growth； nor is he more
favorably circumstanced because all his ancestors have been similarly
circumscribed。
As if to make assurance doubly sure； natural selection here steps in to
further the process。 To prove this with all the rigidity of demonstration
desirable is in the present state of erotics beyond our power。 Until our
family trees give us something more than mere skeletons of dead branches；
we must perforce continue ignorant of the science of grafts。 For the
nonce we must be content to generalize from our own premises； only
rising above them sufficiently to get a bird's…eye view of our neighbor's
estates。 Such a survey has at least one advantage： the whole field of view
appears perfectly plain。
Surveying the subject； then； from this ego…altruistic position； we can
perceive why matrimony； as we practise it； should result in increasing the
personality of our race： for the reason namely that psychical similarity
determines the selection。 At first sight； indeed； such a natural affinity
would seem to have little or nothing to do with marriage。 As far as
outsiders are capable of judging； unlikes appear to fancy one another quite
as gratuitously as do likes。 Connubial couples are often anything but
twin souls。 Yet our own dual use of the word 〃like〃 bears historic
witness to the contrary。 For in this expression we have a record from
early Gothic times that men liked others for being like themselves。 Since
then； our feelings have not changed materially； although our mode of
showing them is slightly less intense。 In those simple days stranger and
enemy were synonymous terms； and their objects were received in a
corresponding spirit。 In our present refined civilization we hurl epithets
instead of spears； and content ourselves with branding as heterodox the
opinions of another which do not happen to coincide with our own。 The
instinct of self…development naturally begets this self…sided view。 We
insensibly find those persons congenial whose ideas resemble ours； and
gravitate to them； as leaves on a pond do to one another； nearer and nearer
till they touch。 Is it likely； then； that in the most important case of all the
rule should suddenly cease to hold？ Is it to be presumed that even
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Socrates chose Xantippe for her remarkable contrariety to himself？
Mere physical attraction is another matter。 Corporeally considered；
men not infrequently fall in love with their opposites； the phenomenally
tall with the painfully short； the unnecessarily stout with the distressingly
slender。 But even such inartistic juxtapositions are much less common
than we are apt at times to think。 For it must never be forgotten that the
exceptional character of the phenomena renders them conspicuous； the
customary more consorted combinations failing to excite attention。
Besides； there exists a reason for physical incongruity which does not
hold psychically。 Nature sanctions the one while she discountenances the
other。 Instead of the forethought she once bestowed upon the body； it
receives at her hands now but the scantiest attention。 Its development
has ceased to be an object with her。 For some time past almost all her
care has been devoted to the evolution of the soul。 The consequence is
that physically man is much less specialized than many other animals。 In
other words；
