poor and proud-第20章

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solation　she　derived　from　the　touching　poetry。　She　could　smile　while　racking　pains　tortured　her　frame；　while　her　frail　body　seemed　hardly　to　retain　its　hold　upon　mortality。　How　blessed　the　hope　that　pours　its　heavenly　balm　into　the　wounds　of　the　sufferer！

Poor　Katy　was　painfully　impressed　by　the　appearance　and　conduct　of　her　mother。　She　had　never　before　seen　her　so　calm　and　resigned　to　those　dreadful　sufferings。　She　had　heard　her　complain　and　murmur　at　her　hard　lot；　and　wonder　why　she　should　be　thus　sorely　afflicted。　She　feared　that　some　appalling　event；　which　she　dared　not　define　and　call　by　its　name；　was　about　to　happen。　She　dared　not　think　of　the　future；　and　she　wondered　that　her　mother　could　be　so　calm　while　she　endured　so　much。

〃Katy；〃　said　Mrs。　Redburn；　after　the　long　silence　that　followed　the　reading　of　the　hymn；　〃I　feel　very　weak　and　ill。　Take　my　hand。〃

〃You　are　burning　up　with　fever！〃　exclaimed　Katy；　as　she　clasped　the　hand；　and　felt　the　burning；　throbbing　brow　of　her　mother。

〃I　am；　but　do　not　be　alarmed；　Katy。　Can　you　be　very　calm？〃

〃I　will　try。〃

〃For　I　feel　very　sick；　but　I　am　very　happy。　I　can　almost　believe　that　the　triumph　of　faith　has　already　begun　in　my　soul。　The　world　looks　very　dim　to　me。〃

〃Nay；　mother；　don't　say　so。〃

〃I　only　mean　that　as　heaven　seems　nearer；　my　hold　upon　earth　is　less　strong。　You　must　be　very　resolute；　my　child；　for　I　feel　as　though　the　sands　of　life　were　fast　ebbing　out；　and　that　in　a　few　hours　more　I　shall　be　‘where　the　wicked　cease　from　troubling；　and　the　weary　are　at　rest。'　If　it　were　not　for　leaving　you；　Katy；　I　could　wish　to　bid　farewell　to　earth；　and　go　up　to　my　eternal　home；　even　on　this　bright；　beautiful　Christmas　day。〃

〃O　mother！〃　sobbed　Katy；　unable　any　longer　to　restrain　the　expression　of　her　emotion。

〃Do　not　weep；　my　child；　I　may　be　mistaken；　yet　I　feel　as　though　God　was　about　to　end　my　sufferings　on　earth；　and　I　am　willing　to　go。〃

〃O；　no；　mother！　It　cannot　be！〃　exclaimed　Katy；　gazing　earnestly；　through　her　tearful　eyes；　upon　the　pale　but　flushed　cheek　of　the　patient　sufferer。

〃I　only　wish　to　prepare　you　for　the　worst。　I　may　get　well；　and　for　your　sake；　I　have　prayed　that　I　may。　And；　Katy；　I　have　never　before　felt　prepared　to　leave　this　world；　full　of　trial　and　sorrow　as　it　has　been　for　me。　Whatever　of　woe；　and　want；　and　disappointment　it　has　been　my　lot　to　confront；　has　been　a　blessing　in　disguise。　I　feel　like　a　new　　creature。　I　feel　reconciled　to　live　or　die；　as　God　ordains。〃

〃Do　not　look　on　the　dark　side；　mother；〃　sobbed　Katy。

〃Nay；　child；　I　am　looking　on　the　bright　side；　〃returned　Mrs。　Redburn；　faintly　〃Everything　looks　bright　to　me　now。　Life　looks　bright；　and　I　feel　that　I　could　be　happy　for　many　years　with　you；　for　you　have　been　a　good　daughter。　Death　looks　bright；　for　it　is　the　portal　of　the　temple　eternal　in　the　heavens；　where　is　joy　unspeakable。　I　am　too　weak　to　talk　more；　Katy；　you　may　read　me　a　chapter　from　the　New　Testament。〃

The　devoted　daughter　obeyed　this　request；　and　she　had　scarcely　finished　the　chapter　before　the　girls　came　for　their　candy。　She　was　unwilling　to　leave　her　mother　alone　even　for　a　minute；　so　she　sent　one　of　them　over　to　request　the　attendance　of　Mrs。　Howard；　and　the　good　woman　took　her　place　by　the　side　of　the　sufferer。

Katy；　scarcely　conscious　what　she　was　doing　for　her　heart　was　with　her　mother；supplied　each　girl　with　her　stock　of　candy；　and　received　the　money　for　it。

〃You　need　not　come　to…morrow；〃　she　said　to　them；　as　they　were　departing。

〃Not　come！〃　exclaimed　several。　〃What　shall　we　do　for　candy？〃

〃We　cannot　make　any　now；　my　mother　is　very　sick。〃

〃I　get　my　living　by　selling　candy；〃　said　one　of　them。　〃I　shan't　have　anything　to　pay　my　board　if　I　can't　sell　candy。〃

〃Poor　Mary！　I　am　sorry　for　you。〃

This　girl　was　an　orphan　whose　mother　had　recently　died；　and　she　had　taken　up　the　business　of　selling　candy；　which　enabled　her　to　pay　fifty　cents　a　week　for　her　board；　at　the　house　of　a　poor　widow。　Katy　knew　her　history；　and　felt　very　sad　as　she　thought　of　her　being　deprived　of　the　means　of　support。

〃I　don't　know　what　I　shall　do；〃　sighed　Mary。

〃I　have　to　take　care　of　my　mother　now；　and　shall　not　have　time　to　make　candy；〃　said　Katy。

〃Do　you　mean　to　give　up　for　good？〃　asked　one　of　them。

〃I　don't　know。〃

This　question　suggested　some　painful　reflections　to　Katy。　If　they　stopped　making　candy；　she　and　her　mother；　as　well　as　orphan　Mary；　would　be　deprived　of　the　means　of　support。　She　trembled　as　she　thought　of　the　future；　even　when　she　looked　forward　only　a　few　weeks。　There　was　not　more　than　ten　dollars　in　the　house；　for　they　had　but　a　short　time　before　paid　for　their　winter's　coal；　and　at　considerable　expense　largely　replenished　their　wardrobes。　The　rent　would　be　due　in　a　week；　and　it　would　require　more　than　half　they　had　to　pay　it。

Katy　was　appalled　as　she　thought　of　the　low　state　of　their　purse；　and　dreaded　lest　some　fearful　calamity　might　again　overtake　them。　It　was　plain　to　her　that　she　could　not　give　up　her　business；　even　for　a　week；　without　the　danger　of　being　again　reduced　to　actual　want。　She　therefore　reversed　her　decision；　and　told　the　girls　they　might　come　as　usual　the　next　day。

When　they　had　gone　she　shed　a　few　bitter　tears　at　the　necessity　which　the　circumstances　imposed　upon　her　of　working　while　her　heart　revolted　at　the　idea　of　being　anywhere　but　at　the　bedside　of　her　sick　mother。　Then　she　lamented　that　they　had　not　dispensed　with　many　articles　of　luxury　while　they　had　plenty　of　money；　and　saved　more　of　it　for　such　a　sad　time　as　the　present。　But　it　was　of　no　use　to　repine；　she　had　only　to　make　the　best　of　her　situation。

Amid　all　these　discouragements　came　a　bright　ray　of　sunshinethe　brightest　that　could　possibly　have　shone　on　the　pathway　of　the　weeping　daughter。

Early　in　the　forenoon　came　the　physician　who　carefully　examined　his　patient；　speaking　cheerfully　and　kindly　to　her　all　the　while。　The　sufferer　watched　his　expression　very　narrowly；　as　he　bent　over　her　and　questioned　her　in　regard　to　her　pains。　He　looked　very　serious；　which　Mrs。　Redburn　interpreted　as　unfavorable　to　her　recovery；　not　considering　that　he　was　engaged　in　profound　thought；　and　therefore　his　countenance　would　naturally　wear　an　earnest　look。　Presently　she　sent　Katy　to　get　her　some　drink；　not　because　she　wanted　it；　but　to　procure　her　absence　for　a　short　time。

〃Do　you　think　I　shall　get　well？〃　asked　Mrs。　Redburn；　as　soon　as　the　door　closed　behind　Katy。

〃A　person　who　is　very　sick；　is　of　course；　always　in　danger；　which　may　be　more　or　less　imminent；〃　replied　the　doctor；　with　professional　indirectness。

〃I　beg　of　you；　doctor；　do　not　conceal　from　me　my　true　situation。〃

〃I　cannot　foresee　the　result；　my　good　woman。〃

〃Do　you　think　there　is　any　hope　for　me？〃

〃Certainly　there　is。〃

〃Tell　me；　I　implore　you；　what　you　think　of　my　case；〃　pleaded　the　sufferer；　in　feeble　tones。　〃I　felt　this　morning　that　my　end　was　very　near。〃

〃O；　no；　it　is　not　so　bad　as　that。　I　should　say　you　had　as　many　as　five　chances　in　ten　to　be　on　your　feet　in　a　fortnight。〃

〃Do　you　think　so？〃

〃I　do　not　regard　your　case　as　a　critical　one。〃

〃I　wish　you　had　told　me　so　last　night。　It　would　have　saved　my　poor　child　a　very　bitter　pang。〃

〃I　was　not　aware　that　you　thought　yourself　alarmingly　sick；　or　I　certainly　should；　for　such　an　opinion　on　your　part　would　do　more　to　bring　about　a　fatal　result　than　could　be　counteracted　by　the　most　skilful　treatment。　A　physician　does　not　hold　the　issues　of　life　and　death；　he　can　only　assist　nature；　as　the　patient　may　by　a　cheerful　view　of　his　case。　This　is　not　your　old　complaint；　you　have　taken　cold；　and　have　considerable　fever；　but　I　think　it　is　a　very　hopeful　case。〃

The　return　of　Katy　interrupted　the　conversation；　but　the　doctor's　opinion　was　immediately　imparted　to　her；　and　it　sent　a　thrill　of　joy　to　her　heart。

〃I　was　low…spirited　this　morning；　Katy；〃　said　Mrs。　Redburn；　when　the　physician　had　gone。　〃I　really　felt　as　though　my　end　was　rapidly　approaching。　I　am　sorry　I　mentioned　my　thoughts　to　you。〃

〃It　was　all　for　the　best；　I　suppose；〃　replied　Katy。

But　Mrs。　Redburn　was　very　sick；　and　even　now　the　disease　might　have　a　fatal　termination。　The　best　of　care　would　be　required　to　restore　her　to　health；　and　Katy　was　very　anxious。　Her　mother　was　still　suffering　the　most　acute　pain。

The　doctor　had　left　a　prescription；　and　Katy　was　again　obliged　to　call　in　Mrs。　Howard　while　she　went　to　the　apothecary's　to　procure　it；　but　the　good　woman　declared　she　was　glad　to　come；　and　would　bring　her　work　and　stay　all　the　forenoon。　The　medicine；　when　obtained；　to　some　extent　relieved　the　sufferer's　pain。

As　her　presence　was　not　required　in　the　chamber；　Katy　went　down…stairs　to　what　she　called　the　candy　room。　She　had　an　hour　or　two　to　spare；　and　she　put　on　the　kettle　with　the　intention　of　making　a　part　of　the　next　day's　candy。　She　was　nearly　worn　out　by　watching　and　anxiety；　and　not　fit　to　perform　such　hard　work；　but　weak　and　weary　as　she　felt；　her　spirit　was　still　earnest；　and　she　resolutely　commenced　her　labors。

At　noon　she　had　made　half　the　quantity　required。　Mrs。　Howard　was　then　obliged　to　go　home；　and　attend　to　her　own　family；　for　she　had　two　children　besides　Tommy；　who　had　not　yet　returned　from　the　East　Indies。　Mrs。　Redburn　was　very　restless　during　the　afternoon；　and　could　not　be　left　alone　for　more　than　a　short　time　at　once。　Mrs。　Howard　had　promised　to　come　again　in　the　evening；　and　make　the　rest　of　the　candy；　but　Charley　came　home　from　school　quite　sick；　seemingly　threatened　with　the　scarlet　fever；　so　that　she　could　not　keep　her　promise。　Mrs。　Sneed；　however；　dropped　in；　and　consented　to　remain　for　two　hours；　which　enabled　Katy　to　make　the　rest　of　the　candy。

By　this　time　the　poor　girl　was　completely　worn　out。　Her　resolute　will；　even；　could　no　longer　impart　its　strength　to　the　body。　Her　mother　worried　sadly　about　her；　and　finally　induced　her　to　lie　down　on　the　bed　by　her　side；　on　condition　that　she　should　be　awakened　in　an　hour。　In　this　manner　she　obtained　a　few　hours'　sleep　during　the　night；　but　these　severe　labors　were　a　fearful　task　to　be　imposed　upon　a　mere　child。

The　next　day　Mrs。　Redburn；　who　could　not　fail　to　observe　Katy's　pale　face　and　sunken　eye；　fretted　so　much　about　her　that　she　was　obliged　to　promise　she　would　not　attempt　to　make　any　more　candy。　Mrs。　Howard's　son　was　still　very　sick；　so　that　she　was　unable　to　render　much　assistance。　The　rest　of　the　neighbors；　though　kindly　disposed；　had　their　own　families　to　care　for；　and　could　do　very　little　for　others。

With　what　slight　aid　her　friends　could　afford；　Katy　struggled　through　a　week；　when　Dr。　Flynch　appeared；　and　demanded　the　rent。　There　was　but　little　more　than　money　enough　left　to　pay　it；　but　Katy　would　not　ask　him　for　any　indulgence；　and　paid　him　in　full。

In　a　few　days　more　the　purse　was　empty。　Katy's　most　dreaded　hour　had　come。　She　had　no　money；　and　almost　every　day　some　new　thing　was　required　for　her　mother。　But　this　time　she　had　friends；　and　she　determined　to　use　them；　as　all　true　friends　wish　to　be　used　in　the　day　of　sorrow　and　trial。　After　considerable　debate　with　herself；　she　decided　to　apply　to　Mrs。　Gordon　for　a　loan　of　twenty　dollars。　She　was　still　poor　and　proud；　and　she　could　not　endure　the　thought　of　askin