lay morals-第20章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


es；　　emits　a　joke　or　two；　and　then　sits　down　again；　without　ever　　attempting　to　tackle　the　subject　of　debate。　　Again；　we　have　　men　who　ride　pick…a…back　on　their　family　reputation；　or；　if　　their　family　have　none；　identify　themselves　with　some　well…　known　statesman；　use　his　opinions；　and　lend　him　their　　patronage　on　all　occasions。　　This　is　a　dangerous　plan；　and　　serves　oftener；　I　am　afraid；　to　point　a　difference　than　to　　adorn　a　speech。

But　alas！　a　striking　failure　may　be　reached　without　tempting　　Providence　by　any　of　these　ambitious　tricks。　　Our　own　stature　　will　be　found　high　enough　for　shame。　　The　success　of　three　　simple　sentences　lures　us　into　a　fatal　parenthesis　in　the　　fourth；　from　whose　shut　brackets　we　may　never　disentangle　the　　thread　of　our　discourse。　　A　momentary　flush　tempts　us　into　a　　quotation；　and　we　may　be　left　helpless　in　the　middle　of　one　　of　Pope's　couplets；　a　white　film　gathering　before　our　eyes；　　and　our　kind　friends　charitably　trying　to　cover　our　disgrace　　by　a　feeble　round　of　applause。　　AMIS　LECTEURS；　this　is　a　　painful　topic。　　It　is　possible　that　we　too；　we；　the　'potent；　　grave；　and　reverend'　editor；　may　have　suffered　these　things；　　and　drunk　as　deep　as　any　of　the　cup　of　shameful　failure。　　Let　　us　dwell　no　longer　on　so　delicate　a　subject。

In　spite；　however；　of　these　disagreeables；　I　should　recommend　　any　student　to　suffer　them　with　Spartan　courage；　as　the　　benefits　he　receives　should　repay　him　an　hundredfold　for　them　　all。　　The　life　of　the　debating　society　is　a　handy　antidote　to　　the　life　of　the　classroom　and　quadrangle。　　Nothing　could　be　　conceived　more　excellent　as　a　weapon　against　many　of　those　　PECCANT　HUMOURS　that　we　have　been　railing　against　in　the　　jeremiad　of　our　last　'College　Paper'　…　particularly　in　the　　field　of　intellect。　　It　is　a　sad　sight　to　see　our　heather…　scented　students；　our　boys　of　seventeen；　coming　up　to　College　　with　determined　views　…　ROUES　in　speculation　…　having　gauged　　the　vanity　of　philosophy　or　learned　to　shun　it　as　the　middle…　man　of　heresy　…　a　company　of　determined；　deliberate　　opinionists；　not　to　be　moved　by　all　the　sleights　of　logic。　　　What　have　such　men　to　do　with　study？　　If　their　minds　are　made　　up　irrevocably；　why　burn　the　'studious　lamp'　in　search　of　　further　confirmation？　　Every　set　opinion　I　hear　a　student　　deliver　I　feel　a　certain　lowering　of　my　regard。　　He　who　　studies；　he　who　is　yet　employed　in　groping　for　his　premises；　　should　keep　his　mind　fluent　and　sensitive；　keen　to　mark　　flaws；　and　willing　to　surrender　untenable　positions。　　He　　should　keep　himself　teachable；　or　cease　the　expensive　farce　　of　being　taught。　　It　is　to　further　this　docile　spirit　that　we　　desire　to　press　the　claims　of　debating　societies。　　It　is　as　a　　means　of　melting　down　this　museum　of　premature　petrifactions　　into　living　and　impressionable　soul　that　we　insist　on　their　　utility。　　If　we　could　once　prevail　on　our　students　to　feel　no　　shame　in　avowing　an　uncertain　attitude　towards　any　subject；　　if　we　could　teach　them　that　it　was　unnecessary　for　every　lad　　to　have　his　OPINIONETTE　on　every　topic；　we　should　have　gone　a　　far　way　towards　bracing　the　intellectual　tone　of　the　coming　　race　of　thinkers；　and　this　it　is　which　debating　societies　are　　so　well　fitted　to　perform。

We　there　meet　people　of　every　shade　of　opinion；　and　make　　friends　with　them。　　We　are　taught　to　rail　against　a　man　the　　whole　session　through；　and　then　hob…a…nob　with　him　at　the　　concluding　entertainment。　　We　find　men　of　talent　far　　exceeding　our　own；　whose　conclusions　are　widely　different　　from　ours；　and　we　are　thus　taught　to　distrust　ourselves。　　But　　the　best　means　of　all　towards　catholicity　is　that　wholesome　　rule　which　some　folk　are　most　inclined　to　condemn　…　I　mean　　the　law　of　OBLIGED　SPEECHES。　　Your　senior　member　commands；　　and　you　must　take　the　affirmative　or　the　negative；　just　as　　suits　his　best　convenience。　　This　tends　to　the　most　perfect　　liberality。　　It　is　no　good　hearing　the　arguments　of　an　　opponent；　for　in　good　verity　you　rarely　follow　them；　and　even　　if　you　do　take　the　trouble　to　listen；　it　is　merely　in　a　　captious　search　for　weaknesses。　　This　is　proved；　I　fear；　in　　every　debate；　when　you　hear　each　speaker　arguing　out　his　own　　prepared　SPECIALITE　（he　never　intended　speaking；　of　course；　　until　some　remarks　of；　etc。）；　arguing　out；　I　say；　his　own　　COACHED…UP　subject　without　the　least　attention　to　what　has　　gone　before；　as　utterly　at　sea　about　the　drift　of　his　　adversary's　speech　as　Panurge　when　he　argued　with　Thaumaste；　　and　merely　linking　his　own　prelection　to　the　last　by　a　few　　flippant　criticisms。　　Now；　as　the　rule　stands；　you　are　　saddled　with　the　side　you　disapprove；　and　so　you　are　forced；　　by　regard　for　your　own　fame；　to　argue　out；　to　feel　with；　to　　elaborate　completely；　the　case　as　it　stands　against　yourself；　　and　what　a　fund　of　wisdom　do　you　not　turn　up　in　this　idle　　digging　of　the　vineyard！　　How　many　new　difficulties　take　form　　before　your　eyes？　how　many　superannuated　arguments　cripple　　finally　into　limbo；　under　the　glance　of　your　enforced　　eclecticism！

Nor　is　this　the　only　merit　of　Debating　Societies。　　They　tend　　also　to　foster　taste；　and　to　promote　friendship　between　　University　men。　　This　last；　as　we　have　had　occasion　before　to　　say；　is　the　great　requirement　of　our　student　life；　and　it　　will　therefore　be　no　waste　of　time　if　we　devote　a　paragraph　　to　this　subject　in　its　connection　with　Debating　Societies。　　　At　present　they　partake　too　much　of　the　nature　of　a　CLIQUE。　　　Friends　propose　friends；　and　mutual　friends　second　them；　　until　the　society　degenerates　into　a　sort　of　family　party。　　　You　may　confirm　old　acquaintances；　but　you　can　rarely　make　　new　ones。　　You　find　yourself　in　the　atmosphere　of　your　own　　daily　intercourse。　　Now；　this　is　an　unfortunate　circumstance；　　which　it　seems　to　me　might　readily　be　rectified。　　Our　　Principal　has　shown　himself　so　friendly　towards　all　College　　improvements　that　I　cherish　the　hope　of　seeing　shortly　　realised　a　certain　suggestion；　which　is　not　a　new　one　with　　me；　and　which　must　often　have　been　proposed　and　canvassed　　heretofore　…　I　mean；　a　real　UNIVERSITY　DEBATING　SOCIETY；　　patronised　by　the　Senatus；　presided　over　by　the　Professors；　　to　which　every　one　might　gain　ready　admittance　on　sight　of　　his　matriculation　ticket；　where　it　would　be　a　favour　and　not　　a　necessity　to　speak；　and　where　the　obscure　student　might　　have　another　object　for　attendance　besides　the　mere　desire　to　　save　his　fines：　to　wit；　the　chance　of　drawing　on　himself　the　　favourable　consideration　of　his　teachers。　　This　would　be　　merely　following　in　the　good　tendency；　which　has　been　so　　noticeable　during　all　this　session；　to　increase　and　multiply　　student　societies　and　clubs　of　every　sort。　　Nor　would　it　be　a　　matter　of　much　difficulty。　　The　united　societies　would　form　a　　nucleus：　one　of　the　class…rooms　at　first；　and　perhaps　　afterwards　the　great　hall　above　the　library；　might　be　the　　place　of　meeting。　　There　would　be　no　want　of　attendance　or　　enthusiasm；　I　am　sure；　for　it　is　a　very　different　thing　to　　speak　under　the　bushel　of　a　private　club　on　the　one　hand；　　and；　on　the　other；　in　a　public　place；　where　a　happy　period　or　　a　subtle　argument　may　do　the　speaker　permanent　service　in　　after　life。　　Such　a　club　might　end；　perhaps；　by　rivalling　the　　'Union'　at　Cambridge　or　the　'Union'　at　Oxford。



COLLEGE　PAPERS　CHAPTER　IV　…　THE　PHILOSOPHY　OF　UMBRELLAS　（1）



IT　is　wonderful　to　think　what　a　turn　has　been　given　to　our　　whole　Society　by　the　fact　that　we　live　under　the　sign　of　　Aquarius　…　that　our　climate　is　essentially　wet。　　A　mere　　arbitrary　distinction；　like　the　walking…swords　of　yore；　might　　have　remained　the　symbol　of　foresight　and　respectability；　had　　not　the　raw　mists　and　dropping　showers　of　our　island　pointed　　the　inclination　of　Society　to　another　exponent　of　those　　virtues。　　A　ribbon　of　the　Legion　of　Honour　or　a　string　of　　medals　may　prove　a　person's　courage；　a　title　may　prove　his　　birth；　a　professorial　chair　his　study　and　acquirement；　but　it　　is　the　habitual　carriage　of　the　umbrella　that　is　the　stamp　of　　Respectability。　　The　umbrella　has　become　the　acknowledged　　index　of　social　position。

Robinson　Crusoe　presents　us　with　a　touching　instance　of　the　　hankering　after　them　inherent　in　the　civilised　and　educated　　mind。　　To　the　superficial；　the　hot　suns　of　Juan　Fernandez　may　　sufficiently　account　for　his　quaint　choice　of　a　luxury；　but　　surely　one　who　had　borne　the　hard　labour　of　a　seaman　under　　the　tropics　for　all　these　years　could　have　supported　an　　excursion　after　goats　or　a　peaceful　CONSTITUTIONAL　arm　in　arm　　with　the　nude　Friday。　　No；　it　was　not　this：　the　memory　of　a　　vanished　respectability　called　for　some　outward　　manifestation；　and　the　result　was　…　an　umbrella。　　A　pious　　castaway　might　have　rigged　up　a　belfry　and　solaced　his　Sunday　　mornings　with　the　mimicry　of　church…bells；　but　Crusoe　was　　rather　a　moralist　than　a　pietist；　and　his　leaf…umbrella　is　as　　fine　an　example　of　the　civilised　mind　striving　to　express　　itself　under　adverse　circumstances　as　we　have　ever　met　with。

It　is　not　for　nothing；　either；　that　the　umbrella　has　become　　the　very　foremost　badge　of　modern　civilisation　…　the　Urim　and　　Thummim　of　respectability。　　Its　pregnant　symbolism　has　taken　　its　rise　in　the　most　natural　manner。　　Consider；　for　a　moment；　　when　umbrellas　were　first　introduced　into　this　country；　what　　manner　of　men　would　use　them；　and　what　class　would　adhere　to　　the　useless　but　ornamental　cane。　　The　first；　without　doubt；　　would　be　the　hypochondriacal；　out　of　solicitude　for　their　　health；　or　the　frugal；　out　of　care　for　their　raiment；　the　　second；　it　is　equally　plain；　would　include　the　fop；　the　fool；　　and　the　Bobadil。　　Any　one　acquainted　with　the　growth　of　　Society；　and　knowing　out　of　what　small　seeds　of　cause　are　　produced　great　revolutions；　and　wholly　new　conditions　of　　intercourse；　sees　from　this　simple　thought　how　the　carriage　　of　an　umbrella　came　to　indicate　frugality；　judicious　regard　　for　bodily　welfare；　and　scorn　for　mere　outward　adornment；　　and；　in　one　word；　all　those　homely　and　solid　virtues　implied　　in　the　term　RESPECTABILITY。　　Not　that　the　umbrella's　　costliness　has　nothing　to　do　with　its　great　influence。　　Its　　possession；　besides　symbolising　（as　we　have　already　　indicated）　the　change　from　wild　Esau　to　plain　Jacob　dwelling　　in　tents；　implies　a　certain　comfortable　provision　of　fortune。　　　It　is　not　every　one　that　can　expose　twenty…six　shillings'　　worth　of　property　to　so　many　chances　of　loss　and　theft。　　So　　strongly　do　we　feel　on　this　point；　indeed；　that　we　are　almost　　inclined　to　consider　all　who　possess　really　well…conditioned　　umbrellas　as　worthy　of　the　Franchise。　　They　have　a　　qualification　standing　in　their　lobbies；　they　carry　a　　sufficient　stake　in　the　common…weal　below　their　arm。　　One　who　　bears　with　him　an　umbrella　…　such　a　complicated　structure　of　　whalebone；　of　silk；　and　of　cane；　that　it　becomes　a　very　　microcosm　of　modern　industry　…　is　necessarily　a　man　of　peace。　　　A　half…crown　cane　may　be　applied　to　an　offender's　head　on　a　　very　moderate　provocation；　but　a　six…and…twenty　shilling　silk　　is　a　possession　too　precious　to　be　adventured　in　the　shock　of　　war。

These　are　but　a　few　glances　at　how　umbrellas　（in　the　general）　　came　to　their　present　high　estate。　　But　the　true　Umbrella…　Philosopher　meets　with　far　stranger　applications　as　h