the red acorn-第31章

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opportunity　to　think　of　anything　else　than　it　and　what　it　is　doing。　　Everything　else　is　forgotten；　taht　it　may　receive　full　consideration。　　Then　comes　in　an　opportunity　for　a　vigorous　imagination。　　No　one　ever　underestimates　the　work　done　by　an　active　blister；　if　it　is　upon　himself。　　No　one　ever　grumbles　that　he　is　not　getting　his　money's　worth。　　It　is　the　one　monumental　exception；　where　men　are　willing　to　accept　and　be　satisfied　with　a　fractional　part　of　that　which　they　have　bought　and　paid　for。

So　when　the　layer　of　fresh　mustard　that　covered　the　whole　anterior　surface　of　Mr。　Alspaugh's　torso　began　to　take　a　fair　hold　of　its　appointed　work　that　gentlemen's　thoughts　became　strangely　focused　upon　it；　and　they　succeeded　each　other　as　the　minutes　went　by　something　in　this　fashion：

FIRST　TEN　MINUTES。〃I　'spect　that　this　may　become　rather　unpleasant　and　bothersome；　but　it　will　not　be　for　long；　and　it'll　really　do　me　much　good。〃

SECOND　TEN　MINUTES。〃I　had　no　idead　that　blisters　felt　just　this　way；　but　they　never　really　hurt　anybody　but　women　and　childrenMEN　laugh　at　them。〃

THIRD　TEN　MINUTES。〃The　thing　seems　to　be　hunting　'round　for　my　tender　spots；　and　pokin'　pins　into　'em。　　I　begin　to　wish　that　it　was　all　over　with。〃

FOURTH　TEN　MINUTES。〃It　begins　to　hurt　real　bad。　　I　wonder　if　it　ain't　a'most　time　to　take　it　off？〃

FIFTH　TEN　MINUTES。〃The　very　devil　seems　to　be　in　that　thing。　　It　burns　like　as　if　a　sheet　of　red…hot　iron　was　layin'　there。〃

SIXTH　TEN　MINUTES。〃I　surely　believe　that　they've　made　a　terrible　mistake　about　that　blister；　and　put　in　some　awful　thing　that'll　kill　me　if　it　ain't　stopped。　　I'll　swear　it's　not　only　eat　all　the　skin　off；　but　it's　gone　through　my　ribs；　an'　is　gnawin'　at　my　insides。　Why　don't　the　Doctor　come　'round　an'　see　to　it？　　Here；　nurse；　call　the　Doctor；　an'　have　this　think　taken　off。〃

NURSE。〃No；　it's　all　right。　　The　Doctor　left　orders　that　it　was　not　to　be　disturbed　for　some　time　yet。　　I'll　see　to　it　when　the　proper　time　comes。　　I'm　watching　the　clock。〃

SEVENTH　TEN　MINUTES。〃Great　Jehosefat！　this's　jest　awful。　　That　blasted　stuff's　cooked　my　innards　to　rags；　an'　I　kin　feel　my　backbone　a…sizzlin'。　　Say；　Steward；　do；　for　the　Lord's　sake；　come　here；　an'　take　this　thing　off；　while　there's　a　little　life　left　in　me。〃

STEWARD。〃Can't　do　anything　yet。　　You　must　grin　and　bear　it　a　little　while　longer。〃

EIGTH　TEN　MINUTES。〃Holy　smoke！　　I　couldn't　suffer　more　if　I　was　in　the　lake　of　burnin'　brimstone。　　Every　ounce　of　me's　jest　fryin'。　Say；　Steward！　　Steward！〃

STEWARD　（ANGRILY）。〃I　have　told　you　several　times　that　I　couldn't　do　anything　for　you　yet　awhile。　　Now　keep　quiet。〃

〃But　Steward；　can't　you　at　least　bring　me　a　fork？〃

〃Why；　what　do　you　want　a　fork　for？〃

〃Jest　to　see　for　myself　if　I　ain't　cooked　donethat's　all。〃

A　roar　of　laughter　went　up　in　which　even　Dr。　Denslow；　who　had　just　entered　the　ward；　joined。　　He　orderd　the　blister　to　be　taken　off；　and　the　inflamed　surfaces　properly　dressed；　which　was　done　to　the　accompaniment　of　Jake's　agonizing　groans。

〃I　think　Lieutenant　Alspaugh　will　be　content　to　go　back　to　the　field　in　a　few　days；　if　we　continue　this　vigorous　treatment；〃　Dr。　Denslow　said；　a　little　later；　as　he　came　into　the　reading…room　of　the　hospital　where　he　found　Rachel　sitting　alone。

〃O；　Doctor；　how　could　you　be　so　cruel？〃　she　asked　in　tones　which　were　meant　to　be　reproachful；　but　only　poorly　disguised　her　mirthful　appreciation　of　the　whole　matter。

〃I　wasn't　cruel；　I　only　did　my　duty。　　The　fellow's　a　palpable　malingerer；　and　his　being　here　makes　it　ever　so　much　worse。　　He's　trying　to　shirk　duty　and　have　a　good　time　here　in　the　hospital。　It's　my　place　to　make　the　hospital　so　unpleasant　for　him　that　he　will　think　the　field　preferable；　and　I'm　going　to　do　it；　especially　if　I　find　him　squeezing　your　hand　again。〃

There　was　that　in　the　tone　of　the　last　sentence　which　sobered　her　instantly。　　Womanly　prescience　told　her　that　the　Surgeon　had　discovered　what　seemed　to　him　a　fitting　opportunity　to　say　that　which　he　had　long　desired。　　Ever　since　she　had　been　in　the　hospital　he　had　exerted　himself　to　smooth　her　path　for　her；　and　make　her　stay　there　endurable。　　There　was　not　a　day　in　which　she　was　not　indebted　to　him　for　some　unobtrusive　kindness；　delicately　and　thoughtfully　rendered。

While　she　knew　quite　well　that　these　courtesies　would　have　been　as　conscientiously　extended　to　any　other　womanyoung　or　oldin　her　position；　yet　her　instincts　did　not　allow　her　any　doubt　that　there　was　about　them　a　flavor　personal　to　herself　and　redolent　of　something　much　warmer　than　mere　kindliness。　　A　knowledge　of　this　had　at　times　tainted　the　pleasure　she　felt　in　accepting　welcome　little　attentions　from　him。　　She　dreaded　what　she　knew　was　coming。　He　took　her　hand　and　started　to　speak　with　tremulous　lips。　　But　almost　at　the　same　instant　the　door　was　flung　open；　and　a　nurse　entered　in　breathless　haste。

〃O；　Doctor；〃　he　gasped；　〃I've　been　looking　for　you　everywhere。　　That　Lieutenant　in　the　First　Ward　thinks　he's　a…dyin'。　　He's　groanin'　an'　cryin'；　and　a…takin'　on　at　a　terrible　rate；　an'　nobody　can't　do　nothin'　with　him。　　The　Steward　wants　you　to　come　there　right　off。〃

〃It's　only　the　castor　oil；〃　muttered　the　Doctor　savagely；　as　he　rose　to　follow　the　nurse。

This　was　the　letter　that　the　Orderly　handed　Rachel　some　days　later：


Dear　Ratie：　　Your　letter　came　at　last；　for　which　I　was　SO　thankful；　because　I　had　waited　SO　long　for　it　that　I　was　SO　tired　and　SO　anxious　that　I　was　almost　at　my　wits'　end。　　I　am　SO　glad　that　you　are　well；　that　you　have　got　your　room　at　last　fixed　up　real　nice　and　comfortable；　as　a　young　lady　should　have；　and　that　you　find　your　duties　more　agreeable。　　It　is　SO　nice　in　that　Dr。　Denslow　to　help　you　along　as　he　does。　　But　then　that　is　what　every　real　gentleman　should　do　for　a　young　ladyor　old　one　for　that　matter。　　Still；　I　would　like　to　thank　him　SO　much。

I　am　not　at　all　well：　　my　heart　gives　me　SO　much　troublemore　than　ever　beforeand　as　you　say　nothing　about　coming　home　I　have　about　concluded　to　try　what　a　change　of　climate　and　scene　will　do　for　me；　and　so　have　concluded　to　accept　your　Aunt　Tabitha's　invitation　to　spend　a　few　months　with　her。　　Unless　you　hear　from　me　to　the　contrarywhich　you　will　probably　not；　as　the　mails　are　so　uncertain　in　Kentucky；　you　had　better　address　your　next　letter　to　me　at　Eau　Claire。

But　I　am　so　sorry　to　see　by　your　letter　that　you　show　no　signs　of　weariness　with　your　quixotic　idea　of　serving　the　country　in　the　hospital。　　I　had　hoped　so　much　that　you　would　by　this　time　have　decided　that　you　had　done　enough；　and　come　home　and　content　yourself　with　doing　what　you　could　for　the　Sanitary　Fair；　and　the　lint…scraping　bees。

YOUR　AFFECTIONATE　MOTHER。

P。S。Your　father　is　well。　　He　will　go　with　me　to　Wisconsin；　and　then　go　down　to　Nebraska　to　look　after　his　land　there。

P。S。I　am　SO　sorry　to　tell　you　that　Harry　Glen　has　acted　badly　again。　　The　last　letters　from　the　regiment　say　that　he　did　not　go　into　the　fight　at　Wildcat；　and　afterward　was　missing。　　They　believe　he　was　captured；　and　some　say　he　was　taken　prisoner　on　purpose。　Everybody's　saying；　〃I　told　you　so；〃　and　Mrs。　Glen　has　not　been　on　the　street　or　to　church　since　the　news　came。　　I　am　so　sorry　for　her；　but　then　you　know　that　she　used　to　put　on　quite　as　many　airs　as　her　position　justified。

P。S。Hoop…skirts　are　getting　smaller　every　month；　and　some　are　confident　that　they　will　go　entirely　out　of　fashion　by　next　year。　I　do　so　hope　not。　　I　so　dread　having　to　cme　back　to　the　old　way　of　wearing　a　whole　clothes…basketful　of　white　skirts。　　The　new　bonnets　are　just　the　awfulest　things　you　ever　did　see。　　Write　soon。


Rachel　crumpled　the　letter　in　her　hand；　with　a　quick；　angry　gesture；　as　if　crushing　some　hateful；　despicable　thing；　and　her　clear　hazel　eyes　blazed。

〃He　is　evidently　a　hopeless　coward；〃　she　said　to　herself；　〃when　all　that　has　passed　can　not　spur　him　into　an　exhibition　of　proper　spirit。　　If　he　had　the　love　for　me　he　professed　it　could　not　help　stimulating　him　to　some　show　of　manliness。　　I　will　fling　him　out　of　my　heart　and　my　world　as　I　would　fling　a　rotten　apple　out　of　a　basket。〃

Then　a　sadder　and　gentler　light　shone　in　her　face。

〃Perhaps　I　am　myself　to　blame　a　little。　　I　may　not　be　a　good　source　of　inspiration　to　acts　of　heroism。　　Other　girls　may　have　ways　of　stimulating　their　loves　to　high　deeds　that　I　know　not　of。　　Possibly　I　applied　the　lash　too　severely；　and　instead　of　rousing　him　up　I　killed　all　the　hope　in　his　heart；　and　made　him　indifferent　to　his　future。　　Possibly；　too；　this　story　may　not　be　true。　　The　feeling　in　Sardis　against　him　is　strong；　and　they　are　hardly　willing　to　do　him　justice。　　No　doubt　they　misrepresent　him　in　this；　as　they　are　apt　to　do　in　everything。〃

Her　face　hardened　again。

〃But　it's　of　no　use　seeking　excuses　for　him。　　My　lovermy　husbandmust　be　a　man　who　can　hold　his　own　with　other　men；　in　whatever　relation　of　life　the　struggle　may　be。　　The　man　into　whose　hands　I　entrust　the　happiness　of　my　life　must　have　his　qualities　so　clear　and　distinct　that　there　never　will　be　any　question　about　them。　　He　must　not　need　continual　explanation　and　defense；　for　then　outraged　pride　would　strangle　love　with　a　ruthless　hand。　　No；　I　must　never　have　reason　to　believe　that　my　choice　is　inferior　to　other　men　in　anything。〃

But　notwithstanding　this；　she　smoothed　out　the　crumpled　letter　tenderly　upon　her　knee；　and　read　it　over　again；　in　the　vain　hope　of　finding　that　the　words　had　less　harshness　than　she　had　at　first　found　in　them。

〃No；〃　she　said　after　a　weary　study　of　the　lines；　〃it's　surely　worse　than　mother　states　it。　　She　is　so　kind　and　gentle　that　she　never　fails　to　mitigate　the　harshness　of　anything　that　she　hears　about　others；　and　she　has　told　me　this　as　mildly　as　the　case　will　admit。　I　must　give　him　up　forever。〃

But　though　she　made　this　resolution　with　a　firm　settling　of　the　lines　around　her　mouth　that　spoke　strongly　of　its　probable　fulfilment；　the　arrival　of　the　decision　was　the　signal　for　the　assault　of　a　thousand　tender　memories　and　dear　recollections；　all　pleading　trumpet…tongued　against　the　summary　dismissal　of　the　unworthy　lover。　All　the　ineffably　sweet　incidents　of　their　love…life　stretched　themselves　out　in　a　vista　before　her；　and　tempted　her　to　reverse　her　decision。　　But　she　stayed　her　purpose　with　repeating　to　herself：

〃It　will　save　untold　misery　hereafter　to　be　firm　now；　and　end　a　connection　at　once　that　must　be　the　worse　for　both　of　us　every　day　that　it　is　allowed　to　continue。〃

There　was　a　tap　at　the　door；　and　Dr。　Denslow　entered。

The　struggle　had　so　shattered　Rachel's　self…control　that　she　nervously　grasped　the　letter　and　thrust　it　into　her　pocket；　as　if　the　mere　sight　of　it　would　reveal　to　him　the　perturbation　that　was　shaking　her。

His　quick　eyesquicker　yet　in　whatever　related　to　hernoticed　her　embarrassment。

〃Excuse　me；〃　he　said　with　that　graceful　tact　which　seemed　the　very　fiber　of　his　nature。　　〃You　are　not　in　the　mood　to　receive　callers。　I　will　go　now；　and　look　in　again。〃

〃No；　no；　stay。　　I　am　really　glad　to　see　you。　　It　is　nothing；　I　assure　you。〃

She　really　wished　very　much　to　be　alone　with　her　grief；　but　she　felt　somehow　that　to　shrink　from　a　meeting　would　be　an　evasion　of　the　path　of　duty　she　had　marked　out　for　he