the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第10章

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and　watched　the　setting　sun。　　I　saw　him　sink　for　the　last　time
beneath　this　delightful　valley　and　silent　stream。　　I　had　often
visited　the　same　spot　with　Charlotte；　and　witnessed　that　glorious
sight；　and　now　　I　was　walking　up　and　down　the　very　avenue　which
was　so　dear　to　me。　　A　secret　sympathy　had　frequently　drawn　me
thither　before　I　knew　Charlotte；　and　we　were　delighted　when；　in
our　early　acquaintance；　we　discovered　that　we　each　loved　the　same
spot；　which　is　indeed　as　romantic　as　any　that　ever　captivated　the
fancy　of　an　artist。

》From　beneath　the　chestnut　trees；　there　is　an　extensive　view。　　But
I　remember　that　I　have　mentioned　all　this　in　a　former　letter；　and
have　described　the　tall　mass　of　beech　trees　at　the　end；　and　how
the　avenue　grows　darker　and　darker　as　it　winds　its　way　among　them；
till　it　ends　in　a　gloomy　recess；　which　has　all　the　charm　of　a
mysterious　solitude。　　I　still　remember　the　strange　feeling　of
melancholy　which　came　over　me　the　first　time　I　entered　that　dark
retreat；　at　bright　midday。　　I　felt　some　secret　foreboding　that　it
would；　one　day；　be　to　me　the　scene　of　some　happiness　or　misery。

I　had　spent　half　an　hour　struggling　between　the　contending　thoughts
of　going　and　returning；　when　I　heard　them　coming　up　the　terrace。
I　ran　to　meet　them。　　I　trembled　as　I　took　her　hand；　and　kissed　it。
As　we　reached　the　top　of　the　terrace；　the　moon　rose　from　behind
the　wooded　hill。　　We　conversed　on　many　subjects；　and；　without
perceiving　it；　approached　the　gloomy　recess。　　Charlotte　entered；
and　sat　down。　　Albert　seated　himself　beside　her。　　I　did　the　same；
but　my　agitation　did　not　suffer　me　to　remain　long　seated。　　I　got
up；　and　stood　before　her；　then　walked　backward　and　forward；　and
sat　down　again。　　I　was　restless　and　miserable。　　Charlotte　drew　our
attention　to　the　beautiful　effect　of　the　moonlight；　which　threw　a
silver　hue　over　the　terrace　in　front　of　us；　beyond　the　beech　trees。
It　was　a　glorious　sight；　and　was　rendered　more　striking　by　the
darkness　which　surrounded　the　spot　where　we　were。　　We　remained　for
some　time　silent；　when　Charlotte　observed；　〃Whenever　I　walk　by
moonlight；　it　brings　to　my　remembrance　all　my　beloved　and　departed
friends；　and　I　am　filled　with　thoughts　of　death　and　futurity。　　We
shall　live　again；　Werther！〃　she　continued；　with　a　firm　but　feeling
voice；　〃but　shall　we　know　one　another　again　what　do　you　think？
what　do　you　say？〃

〃Charlotte；〃　I　said；　as　I　took　her　hand　in　mine；　and　my　eyes　filled
with　tears；　〃we　shall　see　each　other　again　　here　and　hereafter
we　shall　meet　again。〃　　I　could　say　no　more。　　Why；　Wilhelm；　should
she　put　this　question　to　me；　just　at　the　monent　when　the　fear　of
our　cruel　separation　filled　my　heart？

〃And　oh！　do　those　departed　ones　know　how　we　are　employed　here？　do
they　know　when　we　are　well　and　happy？　do　they　know　when　we　recall
their　memories　with　the　fondest　love？　　In　the　silent　hour　of
evening　the　shade　of　my　mother　hovers　around　me；　when　seated
in　the　midst　of　my　children；　I　see　them　assembled　near　me；　as
they　used　to　assemble　near　her；　and　then　I　raise　my　anxious　eyes
to　heaven；　and　wish　she　could　look　down　upon　us；　and　witness　how
I　fulfil　the　promise　I　made　to　her　in　her　last　moments；　to　be　a
mother　to　her　children。　　With　what　emotion　do　I　then　exclaim；
'Pardon；　dearest　of　mothers；　pardon　me；　if　I　do　not　adequately
supply　your　place！　　Alas！　　I　do　my　utmost。　　They　are　clothed　and
fed；　and；　still　better；　they　are　loved　and　educated。　　Could　you
but　see；　sweet　saint！　the　peace　and　harmony　that　dwells　amongst
us；　you　would　glorify　God　with　the　warmest　feelings　of　gratitude；
to　whom；　in　your　last　hour；　you　addressed　such　fervent　prayers　for
our　happiness。'〃　　Thus　did　she　express　herself；　but　O　Wilhelm！　who
can　do　justice　to　her　language？　how　can　cold　and　passionless　words
convey　the　heavenly　expressions　of　the　spirit？　　Albert　interrupted
her　gently。　　〃This　affects　you　too　deeply；　my　dear　Charlotte。　　I
know　your　soul　dwells　on　such　recollections　wlth　intense　delight；
but　I　implore　　〃　　〃O　Albert！〃　she　continued；　〃I　am　sure　you　do
not　forget　the　evenings　when　we　three　used　to　sit　at　the　little
round　table；　when　papa　was　absent；　and　the　little　ones　had　retired。
You　often　had　a　good　book　with　you；　but　seldom　read　it；　the
conversation　of　that　noble　being　was　preferable　to　everything；　
that　beautiful；　bright；　gentle；　and　yet　ever…toiling　woman。　　God
alone　knows　how　I　have　supplicated　with　tears　on　my　nightly　couch；
that　I　might　be　like　her。〃

I　threw　myself　at　her　feet；　and；　seizing　her　hand；　bedewed　it　with
a　thousand　tears。　　〃Charlotte！〃　I　exclaimed；　〃God's　blessing　and
your　mother's　spirit　are　upon　you。〃　　〃Oh！　that　you　had　known　her；〃
she　said；　with　a　warm　pressure　of　the　hand。　〃She　was　worthy　of
being　known　to　you。〃　　I　thought　I　should　have　fainted：　never　had
I　received　praise　so　flattering。　　She　continued；　〃And　yet　she　was
doomed　to　die　in　the　flower　of　her　youth；　when　her　youngest　child
was　scarcely　six　months　old。　　Her　illness　was　but　short；　but　she
was　calm　and　resigned；　and　it　was　only　for　her　children；　especially
the　youngest；　that　she　felt　unhappy。　　When　her　end　drew　nigh；　she
bade　me　bring　them　to　her。　　I　obeyed。　　The　younger　ones　knew　nothing
of　their　approaching　loss；　while　the　elder　ones　were　quite　overcome
with　grief。　　They　stood　around　the　bed；　and　she　raised　her　feeble
hands　to　heaven；　and　prayed　over　them；　then；　kissing　them　in　turn；
she　dismissed　them；　and　said　to　me；　'Be　you　a　mother　to　them。'　　I
gave　her　my　hand。　　'You　are　promising　much；　my　child；'　she　said：
'a　mother's　fondness　and　a　mother's　care！　　I　have　often　witnessed；
by　your　tears　of　gratitude；　that　you　know　what　is　a　mother's
tenderness：　show　it　to　your　brothers　and　sisters；　and　be　dutiful
and　faithful　to　your　father　as　a　wife；　you　will　be　his　comfort。'
She　inquired　for　him。　　He　had　retired　to　conceal　his　intolerable
anguish；　　he　was　heartbroken；　〃Albert；　you　were　in　the　room。
She　heard　some　one　moving：　she　inquired　who　it　was；　and　desired
you　to　approach。　　She　surveyed　us　both　with　a　look　of　composure
and　satisfaction；　expressive　of　her　conviction　that　we　should　be
happy；　　happy　with　one　another。〃　　Albert　fell　upon　her　neck；　and
kissed　her；　and　exclaimed；　〃We　are　so；　and　we　shall　be　so！〃　Even
Albert；　generally　so　tranquil；　had　quite　lost　his　composure；　and
I　was　excited　beyond　expression。

〃And　such　a　being；〃　She　continued；　〃was　to　leave　us；　Werther！
Great　God；　must　we　thus　part　with　everything　we　hold　dear　in　this
world？　　Nobody　felt　this　more　acutely　than　the　children：　they　cried
and　lamented　for　a　long　time　afterward；　complaining　that　men　had
carried　away　their　dear　mamma。〃

Charlotte　rose。　　It　aroused　me；　but　I　continued　sitting；　and　held
her　hand。　　〃Let　us　go；〃　she　said：　〃it　grows　late。〃　　She　attempted
to　withdraw　her　hand：　I　held　it　still。　　〃We　shall　see　each　other
again；〃　I　exclaimed：　〃we　shall　recognise　each　other　under　every
possible　change！　　I　am　going；〃　I　continued；　〃going　willingly；　but；
should　I　say　for　ever；　perhaps　I　may　not　keep　my　word。　　Adieu；
Charlotte；　adieu；　Albert。　　We　shall　meet　again。〃　　〃Yes：　tomorrow；
I　think；〃　she　answered　with　a　smile。　　Tomorrow！　how　I　felt　the　word！
Ah！　she　little　thought；　when　she　drew　her　hand　away　from　mine。
They　walked　down　the　avenue。　　I　stood　gazing　after　them　in　the
moonlight。　　I　threw　myself　upon　the　ground；　and　wept：　I　then　sprang
up；　and　ran　out　upon　the　terrace；　and　saw；　under　the　shade　of　the
linden…trees；　her　white　dress　disappearing　near　the　garden…gate。
I　stretched　out　my　arms；　and　she　vanished。

BOOK　II。

OCTOBER　2O。

We　arrived　here　yesterday。　　The　ambassador　is　indisposed；　and　will
not　go　out　for　some　days。　　If　he　were　less　peevish　and　morose；　all
would　be　well。　　I　see　but　too　plainly　that　Heaven　has　destined　me
to　severe　trials；　but　courage！　a　light　heart　may　bear　anything。
A　light　heart！　　I　smile　to　find　such　a　word　proceeding　from　my　pen。
A　little　more　lightheartedness　would　render　me　the　happiest　being
under　the　sun。　　But　must　I　despair　of　my　talents　and　faculties；
whilst　others　of　far　inferior　abilities　parade　before　me　with　the
utmost　self…satisfaction？　　Gracious　Providence；　to　whom　I　owe　all
my　powers；　why　didst　thou　not　withhold　some　of　those　blessings　I
possess；　and　substitute　in　their　place　a　feeling　of　self…confidence
and　contentment？

But　patience！　all　will　yet　be　well；　for　I　assure　you；　my　dear
friend；　you　were　right：　since　I　have　been　obliged　to　associate
continually　with　other　people；　and　observe　what　they　do；　and　how
they　employ　themselves；　I　have　become　far　better　satisfied　with
myself。　　For　we　are　so　constituted　by　nature；　that　we　are　ever
prone　to　compare　ourselves　with　others；　and　our　happiness　or　misery
depends　very　much　on　the　objects　and　persons　around　us。　　On　this
account；　nothing　is　more　dangerous　than　solitude：　there　our
imagination；　always　disposed　to　rise；　taking　a　new　flight　on　the
wings　of　fancy；　pictures　to　us　a　chain　of　beings　of　whom　we　seem
the　most　inferior。　　All　things　appear　greater　than　they　really
are；　and　all　seem　superior　to　us。　　This　operation　of　the　mind　is
quite　natural：　we　so　continually　feel　our　own　imperfections；　and
fancy　we　perceive　in　others　the　qualities　we　do　not　possess；
attributing　to　them　also　all　that　we　enjoy　ourselves；　that　by　this
process　we　form　the　idea　of　a　perfect；　happy　man；　　a　man；　however；
who　only　exists　in　our　own　imagination。
　　
But　when；　in　spite　of　weakness　and　disappointments；　we　set　to　work
in　earnest；　and　persevere　steadily；　we　often　find；　that；　though
obliged　continually　to　tack；　we　make　more　way　than　others　who　have
the　assistance　of　wind　and　tide；　and；　in　truth；　there　can　be　no
greater　satisfaction　than　to　keep　pace　with　others　or　outstrip
them　in　the　race。

November　26。

I　begin　to　find　my　situation　here　more　tolerable；　considering　all
circumstances。　　I　find　a　great　advantage　in　being　much　occupied；
and　the　number　of　persons　I　meet；　and　their　different　pursuits；
create　a　varied　entertainment　for　me。　　I　have　formed　the　acquaintance
of　the　Count　C　and　I　esteem　him　more　and　more　every　day。　　He　is
a　man　of　strong　understanding　and　great　discernment；　but；　though
he　sees　farther　than　other　people；　he　is　not　on　that　account　cold
in　his　manner；　but　capable　of　inspiring　and　returning　the　warmest
affection。　　He　appeared　interested　in　me　on　one　occasion；　when　I
had　to　transact　some　business　with　him。　　He　perceived；　at　the　first
word；　that　we　understood　each　other；　and　that　he　could　converse
with　me　in　a　different　tone　from　what　he　used　with　others。　　I
cannot　sufficiently　esteem　his　frank　and　open　kindness　to　me。　　It
is　the　greatest　and　most　genuine　of　pleasures　to　observe　a　great
mind　in　sympathy　with　our　own。

DECEMBER　24。

As　I　anticipated；　the　ambassador　occasions　me　infinite　annoyance。
He　is　the　most　punctilious　blockhead　under　heaven。　　He　does
everything　step　by　step；　with　the　trifling　minuteness　of　an　old
woman；　and　he　is　a　man　whom　it　is　impossible　to　please；　because
he　is　never　pleased　with　himself。　　I　like　to　do　business　regularly
and　cheerfully；　and；　when　it　is　finished；　to　leave　it。　　But　he
constantly　returns　my　papers　to　me；　saying；　〃They　will　do；〃　but
recommending　me　to　look　over　them　again；　as　〃one　may