the sorrows of young werther(少年维特的烦恼)-第16章

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of　nothing　else　than　kings　and　queens。　　He　used　to　be　a　very　good；
quiet　youth；　and　helped　to　maintain　me；　he　wrote　a　very　fine　hand；
but　all　at　once　he　became　melancholy；　was　seized　with　a　violent
fever；　grew　distracted；　and　is　now　as　you　see。　　If　I　were　only　to
tell　you；　sir〃　　I　interrupted　her　by　asking　what　period　it　was
in　which　he　boasted　of　having　been　so　happy。　　〃Poor　boy！〃　she
exclaimed；　with　a　smile　of　cormpassion；　〃he　means　the　time　when
he　was　completely　deranged；　a　time　he　never　ceases　to　regret；
when　he　was　in　the　madhouse；　and　unconscious　of　everything。〃　　I
was　thunderstruck：　I　placed　a　piece　of　money　in　her　hand；　and
hastened　away。

〃You　were　happy！〃　　I　exclaimed；　as　I　returned　quickly　to　the
town；　〃'as　gay　and　contented　as　a　man　can　be！'〃　　God　of　heaven！
and　is　this　the　destiny　of　man？　　Is　he　only　happy　before　he　has
acquired　his　reason；　or　after　he　has　lost　it？　　Unfortunate　being！
And　yet　I　envy　your　fate：　I　envy　the　delusion　to　which　you　are　a
victim。　　You　go　forth　with　joy　to　gather　flowers　for　your　princess；
　in　winter；　　and　grieve　when　you　can　find　none；　and　cannot
understand　why　they　do　not　grow。　　But　I　wander　forth　without　joy；
without　hope；　without　design；　and　I　return　as　I　came。　　You　fancy
what　a　man　you　would　be　if　the　states　general　paid　you。　　Happy
mortal；　who　can　ascribe　your　wretchedness　to　an　earthly　cause！
You　do　not　know；　you　do　not　feel；　that　in　your　own　distracted
heart　and　disordered　brain　dwells　the　source　of　that　unhappiness
which　all　the　potentates　on　earth　cannot　relieve。

Let　that　man　die　unconsoled　who　can　deride　the　invalid　for　undertaking
a　journey　to　distant；　healthful　springs；　where　he　often　finds　only
a　heavier　disease　and　a　more　painful　death；　or　who　can　exult　over
the　despairing　mind　of　a　sinner；　who；　to　obtain　peace　of　conscience
and　an　alleviation　of　misery；　makes　a　pilgrimage　to　the　Holy
Sepulchre。　　Each　laborious　step　which　galls　his　wounded　feet　in
rough　and　untrodden　paths　pours　a　drop　of　balm　into　his　troubled
soul；　and　the　journey　of　many　a　weary　day　brings　a　nightly　relief
to　his　anguished　heart。　　Will　you　dare　call　this　enthusiasm；　ye
crowd　of　pompous　declaimers？　　Enthusiasm！　　0　God！　thou　seest　my
tears。　　Thou　hast　allotted　us　our　portion　of　misery：　must　we　also
have　brethren　to　persecute　us；　to　deprive　us　of　our　consolation；
of　our　trust　in　thee；　and　in　thy　love　and　mercy？　　For　our　trust　in
the　virtue　of　the　healing　root；　or　in　the　strength　of　the　vine；
what　is　it　else　than　a　belief　in　thee　from　whom　all　that　surrounds
us　derives　its　healing　and　restoring　powers？　　Father；　whom　I　know
not；　　who　wert　once　wont　to　fill　my　soul；　but　who　now　hidest　thy
face　from　me；　　call　me　back　to　thee；　be　silent　no　longer；　thy
silence　shall　not　delay　a　soul　which　thirsts　after　thee。　　What　man；
what　father；　could　be　angry　with　a　son　for　returning　to　him　suddenly；
for　falling　on　his　neck；　and　exclaiming；　〃I　am　here　again；　my
father！　forgive　me　if　I　have　anticipated　my　journey；　and　returned
before　the　appointed　time！　　The　world　is　everywhere　the　same；　
a　scene　of　labour　and　pain；　of　pleasure　and　reward；　but　what　does
it　all　avail？　　I　am　happy　only　where　thou　art；　and　in　thy　presence
am　I　content　to　suffer　or　enjoy。〃　　And　wouldst　thou；　heavenly　Father；
banish　such　a　child　from　thy　presence？

DECEMBER　1。

Wilhelm；　the　man　about　whom　I　wrote　to　you　　that　man　so　enviable
in　his　misfortunes　　was　secretary　to　Charlotte's　father；　and　an
unhappy　passion　for　her　which　he　cherished；　concealed；　and　at
length　discovered；　caused　him　to　be　dismissed　from　his　situation。
This　made　him　mad。　　Think；　whilst　you　peruse　this　plain　narration；
what　an　impression　the　circumstance　has　made　upon　me！　　But　it　was
related　to　me　by　Albert　with　as　much　calmness　as　you　will　probably
peruse　it。

DECEMBER　4。

I　implore　your　attention。　　It　is　all　over　with　me。　　I　can　support
this　state　no　longer。　　To…day　I　was　sitting　by　Charlotte。　　She　was
playing　upon　her　piano　a　succession　of　delightful　melodies；　with
such　intense　expression！　　Her　little　sister　was　dressing　her　doll
upon　my　lap。　　The　tears　came　into　my　eyes。　　I　leaned　down；　and
looked　intently　at　her　wedding…ring：　my　tears　fell　　immediately
she　began　to　play　that　favourite；　that　divine；　air　which　has　so
often　enchanted　me。　　I　felt　comfort　from　a　recollection　of　the
past；　of　those　bygone　days　when　that　air　was　familiar　to　me；　and
then　I　recalled　all　the　sorrows　and　the　disappointments　which　I
had　since　endured。　　I　paced　with　hasty　strides　through　the　room；
my　heart　became　convulsed　with　painful　emotions。　　At　length　I
went　up　to　her；　and　exclaimed　With　eagerness；　〃For　Heaven's　sake；
play　that　air　no　longer！〃　　She　stopped；　and　looked　steadfastly　at
me。　　She　then　said；　with　a　smile　which　sunk　deep　into　my　heart；
〃Werther；　you　are　ill：　your　dearest　food　is　distasteful　to　you。
But　go；　I　entreat　you；　and　endeavour　to　compose　yourself。〃　　I
tore　myself　away。　　God；　thou　seest　my　torments；　and　wilt　end　them！

DECEMBER　6。

How　her　image　haunts　me！　　Waking　or　asleep；　she　fills　my　entire
soul！　　Soon　as　I　close　my　eyes；　here；　in　my　brain；　where　all　the
nerves　of　vision　are　concentrated；　her　dark　eyes　are　imprinted。
Here　　I　do　not　know　how　to　describe　it；　but；　if　I　shut　my　eyes；
hers　are　immediately　before　me：　dark　as　an　abyss　they　open　upon
me；　and　absorb　my　senses。

And　what　is　man　　that　boasted　demigod？　　Do　not　his　powers　fail
when　he　most　requires　their　use？　　And　whether　he　soar　in　joy；　or
sink　in　sorrow；　is　not　his　career　in　both　inevitably　arrested？
And；　whilst　he　fondly　dreams　that　he　is　grasping　at　infinity；
does　he　not　feel　compelled　to　return　to　a　consciousness　of　his
cold；　monotonous　existence？

THE　EDITOR　TO　THE　READER。

It　is　a　matter　of　extreme　regret　that　we　want　original　evidence
of　the　last　remarkable　days　of　our　friend；　and　we　are；　therefore；
obliged　to　interrupt　the　progress　of　his　correspondence；　and　to
supply　the　deficiency　by　a　connected　narration。

I　have　felt　it　my　duty　to　collect　accurate　information　from　the
mouths　of　persons　well　acquainted　with　his　history。　　The　story
is　simple；　and　all　the　accounts　agree；　except　in　some　unimportant
particulars。　　It　is　true；　that；　with　respect　to　the　characters　of
the　persons　spoken　of；　opinions　and　judgments　vary。

We　have　only；　then；　to　relate　conscientiously　the　facts　which　our
diligent　labour　has　enabled　us　to　collect；　to　give　the　letters
of　the　deceased；　and　to　pay　particular　attention　to　the　slightest
fragment　from　his　pen；　more　especially　as　it　is　so　difficult　to
discover　the　real　and　correct　motives　of　men　who　are　not　of　the
common　order。

Sorrow　and　discontent　had　taken　deep　root　in　Werther's　soul；　and
gradually　imparted　their　character　to　his　whole　being。　　The　harmony
of　his　mind　became　completely　disturbed；　a　perpetual　excitement
and　mental　irritation；　which　weakened　his　natural　powers；　produced
the　saddest　etfects　upon　him；　and　rendered　him　at　length　the　victim
of　an　exhaustion　against　which　he　struggled　with　still　more　painful
efforts　than　he　had　displayed；　even　in　contending　with　his　other
misfortunes。　　His　mental　anxiety　weakened　his　various　good　qualities；
and　he　was　soon　converted　into　a　gloomy　companion；　always　unhappy
and　unjust　in　his　ideas；　the　more　　wretched　he　became。　　This　was；
at　least；　the　opinion　of　Albert's　friends。　　They　assert；　moreover；
that　the　character　of　Albert　himself　had　undergone　no　change　in
the　meantime：　he　was　still　the　same　being　whom　Werther　had　loved；
honoured；　and　respected　from　the　commencement。　　His　love　for
Charlotte　was　unbounded：　he　was　proud　of　her；　and　desired　that
she　should　be　recognised　by　every　one　as　the　noblest　of　created
beings。　　Was　he；　however；　to　blame　for　wishing　to　avert　from　her
every　appearance　of　suspicion？　or　for　his　unwillingness　to　share
his　rich　prize　with　another；　even　for　a　moment；　and　in　the　most
innocent　manner？　　It　is　asserted　that　Albert　frequently　retired
from　his　wife's　apartment　during　Werther's　visits；　but　this　did
not　arise　from　hatred　or　aversion　to　his　friend；　but　only　from　a
feeling　that　his　presence　was　oppressive　to　Werther。

Charlotte's　father；　who　was　confined　to　the　house　by　indisposition；
was　accustomed　to　send　his　carriage　for　her；　that　she　might　make
excursions　in　the　neighbourhood。　　One　day　the　weather　had　been
unusually　severe；　and　the　whole　country　was　covered　with　snow。

Werther　went　for　Charlotte　the　following　morning；　in　order　that；
if　Albert　were　absent；　he　might　conduct　her　home。

The　beautiful　weather　produced　but　little　impression　on　his　troubled
spirit。　　A　heavy　weight　lay　upon　his　soul；　deep　melancholy　had
taken　possession　of　him；　and　his　mind　knew　no　change　save　from　one
painful　thought　to　another。

As　he　now　never　enjoyed　internal　peace；　the　condition　of　his　fellow
creatures　was　to　him　a　perpetual　source　of　trouble　and　distress。
He　believed　he　had　disturbed　the　happiness　of　Albert　and　his　wife；
and；　whilst　he　censured　himself　strongly　for　this；　he　began　to
entertain　a　secret　dislike　to　Albert。

His　thoughts　were　occasionally　directed　to　this　point。　　〃Yes；〃　he
would　repeat　to　himself；　with　ill…concealed　dissatisfaction；　〃yes；
this　is；　after　all；　the　extent　of　that　confiding；　dear；　tender；
and　sympathetic　love；　that　calm　and　eternal　fidelity！　　What　do　I
behold　but　satiety　and　indifference？　　Does　not　every　frivolous
engagement　attract　him　more　than　his　charming　and　lovely　wife？
Does　he　know　how　to　prize　his　happiness？　　Can　he　value　her　as　she
deserves？　　He　possesses　her；　it　is　true；　I　know　that；　as　I　know
much　more；　and　I　have　become　accustomed　to　the　thought　that　he
will　drive　me　mad；　or；　perhaps；　murder　me。　　Is　his　friendship
toward　me　unimpaired？　　Does　he　not　view　my　attachment　to　Charlotte
as　an　infringement　upon　his　rights；　and　consider　my　attention　to
her　as　a　silent　rebuke　to　himself？　　I　know；　and　indeed　feel；　that
he　dislikes　me；　that　he　wishes　for　my　absence；　that　my　presence
is　hateful　to　him。〃

He　would　often　pause　when　on　his　way　to　visit　Charlotte；　stand
still；　as　though　in　doubt；　and　seem　desirous　of　returning；　but
would　nevertheless　proceed；　and；　engaged　in　such　thoughts　and
soliloquies　as　we　have　described；　he　finally　reached　the　hunting…lodge；
with　a　sort　of　involuntary　consent。

Upon　one　occasion　he　entered　the　house；　and；　inquiring　for
Charlotte；　he　observed　that　the　inmates　were　in　a　state　of
unusual　confusion。　　The　eldest　boy　informed　him　that　a　dreadful
misfortune　had　occurred　at　Walheim；　　that　a　peasant　had　been
murdered！　　But　this　made　little　impression　upon　him。　　Entering
the　apartment；　he　found　Charlotte　engaged　reasoning　with　her　father；
who；　in　spite　of　his　infirmity；　insisted　on　going　to　the　scene　of
the　crime；　in　order　to　institute　an　inquiry。　　The　criminal　was
unknown；　the　victim　had　been　found　dead　at　his　own　door　that
morning。　　Suspicions　were　excited：　the　murdered　man　had　been　in
the　service　of　a　widow；　and　the　person　who　had　previously　filled
the　situation　had　been　dismissed　from　her　employment。

As　soon　as　Werther　heard　this；　he　exclaimed　with　great　excitement；
〃Is　it　possible！　　I　must　go　to　the　spot　　I　cannot　delay　a　moment！〃
He　hastened　to　Walheim。　　Every　incident　returned　vividly　to　his
remembrance；　and