camille (la dame aux camilias)(卡米勒)-第14章
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〃I thought you would have received me very badly if I had come to see
you。〃
〃Why？〃
〃Because I had behaved so stupidly。〃
〃That's true。 And yet you were already in love with me。〃
〃Yes。〃
〃And that didn't hinder you from going to bed and sleeping quite
comfortably。 One knows what that sort of love means。〃
〃There you are mistaken。 Do you know what I did that evening； after
the Opera Comique？〃
〃No。〃
〃I waited for you at the door of the Cafe Anglais。 I followed the
carriage in which you and your three friends were； and when I saw you
were the only one to get down； and that you went in alone； I was very
happy。〃
Marguerite began to laugh。
〃What are you laughing at？〃
〃Nothing。〃
〃Tell me； I beg of you； or I shall think you are still laughing at me。〃
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〃You won't be cross？〃
〃What right have I to be cross？〃
〃Well； there was a sufficient reason why I went in alone。〃
〃What？〃
〃Some one was waiting for me here。〃
If she had thrust a knife into me she would not have hurt me more。 I
rose； and holding out my hand； 〃Goodbye；〃 said I。
〃I knew you would be cross；〃 she said； 〃men are frantic to know what
is certain to give them pain。〃
〃But I assure you；〃 I added coldly； as if wishing to prove how
completely I was cured of my passion； 〃I assure you that I am not cross。 It
was quite natural that some one should be waiting for you； just as it is
quite natural that I should go from here at three in the morning。〃
〃Have you； too； some one waiting for you？〃
〃No； but I must go。〃
〃Good…bye； then。〃
〃You send me away？〃
〃Not the least in the world。〃
〃Why are you so unkind to me？〃
〃How have I been unkind to you？〃
〃In telling me that some one was waiting for you。〃
〃I could not help laughing at the idea that you had been so happy to
see me come in alone when there was such a good reason for it。〃
〃One finds pleasure in childish enough things； and it is too bad to
destroy such a pleasure when； by simply leaving it alone； one can make
somebody so happy。〃
〃But what do you think I am？ I am neither maid nor duchess。 I didn't
know you till to…day； and I am not responsible to you for my actions。
Supposing one day I should become your mistress； you are bound to know
that I have had other lovers besides you。 If you make scenes of jealousy
like this before； what will it be after； if that after should ever exist？ I never
met any one like you。〃
〃That is because no one has ever loved you as I love you。〃
〃Frankly； then； you really love me？〃
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〃As much as it is possible to love； I think。〃
〃And that has lasted since？〃
〃Since the day I saw you go into Susse's； three years ago。
〃Do you know； that is tremendously fine？ Well； what am to do in
return？〃
〃Love me a little；〃 I said； my heart beating so that I could hardly speak；
for； in spite of the half…mocking smiles with which she had accompanied
the whole conversation； it seemed to me that Marguerite began to share
my agitation； and that the hour so long awaited was drawing near。
〃Well； but the duke？〃
〃What duke？〃
〃My jealous old duke。〃
〃He will know nothing。〃
〃And if he should？〃
〃He would forgive you。〃
〃Ah； no； he would leave me； and what would become of me？〃
〃You risk that for some one else。〃
〃How do you know？〃 〃By the order you gave not to admit any one to…
night。〃 〃It is true； but that is a serious friend。〃
〃For whom you care nothing； as you have shut your door against him
at such an hour。〃
〃It is not for you to reproach me； since it was in order to receive you；
you and your friend。〃
Little by little I had drawn nearer to Marguerite。 I had put my arms
about her waist； and I felt her supple body weigh lightly on my clasped
hands。
〃If you knew how much I love you！〃 I said in a low voice。 〃Really
true？〃
〃I swear it。〃
〃Well； if you will promise to do everything I tell you； without a word；
without an opinion； without a question； perhaps I will say yes。〃
〃I will do everything that you wish！〃
〃But I forewarn you I must be free to do as I please； without giving
you the slightest details what I do。 I have long wished for a young lover；
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who should be young and not self…willed； loving without distrust； loved
without claiming the right to it。 I have never found one。 Men； instead of
being satisfied in obtaining for a long time what they scarcely hoped to
obtain once； exact from their mistresses a full account of the present； the
past； and even the future。 As they get accustomed to her； they want to rule
her； and the more one gives them the more exacting they become。 If I
decide now on taking a new lover； he must have three very rare qualities：
he must be confiding； submissive； and discreet。〃
〃Well； I will be all that you wish。〃
〃We shall see。〃
〃When shall we see？〃
〃Later on。〃
〃Why？〃
〃Because；〃 said Marguerite； releasing herself from my arms； and；
taking from a great bunch of red camellias a single camellia； she placed it
in my buttonhole； 〃because one can not always carry out agreements the
day they are signed。〃
〃And when shall I see you again？〃 I said； clasping her in my arms。
〃When this camellia changes colour。〃
〃When will it change colour？〃
〃To…morrow night between eleven and twelve。 Are you satisfied？〃
〃Need you ask me？〃
〃Not a word of this either to your friend or to Prudence； or to anybody
whatever。〃
〃I promise。〃
〃Now； kiss me； and we will go back to the dining…room。〃
She held up her lips to me； smoothed her hair again； and we went out
of the room； she singing； and I almost beside myself。
In the next room she stopped for a moment and said to me in a low
voice：
〃It must seem strange to you that I am ready to take you at a moment's
notice。 Shall I tell you why？ It is；〃 she continued； taking my hand and
placing it against her heart so that I could feel how rapidly and violently it
palpitated； 〃it is because I shall not live as long as others； and I have
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promised myself to live more quickly。〃
〃Don't speak to me like that； I entreat you。〃
〃Oh； make yourself easy；〃 she continued； laughing； 〃however short a
time I have to live； I shall live longer than you will love me！〃
And she went singing into the dining…room。
〃Where is Nanine？〃 she said； seeing Gaston and Prudence alone。
〃She is asleep in your room； waiting till you are ready to go to bed；〃
replied Prudence。
〃Poor thing； I am killing her！ And now gentlemen； it is time to go。〃
Ten minutes after； Gaston and I left the house。 Marguerite shook hands
with me and said good…bye。 Prudence remained behind。
〃Well；〃 said Gaston； when we were in the street； 〃what do you think of
Marguerite？〃
〃She is an angel； and I am madly in love with her。〃 〃So I guessed； did
you tell her so？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃And did she promise to believe you？〃
〃No。〃
〃She is not like Prudence。〃
〃Did she promise to？〃
〃Better still； my dear fellow。 You wouldn't think it； but she is still not
half bad； poor old Duvernoy！〃
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CHAPTER 11
At this point Armand stopped。
〃Would you close the window for me？〃 he said。 〃I am beginning to
feel cold。 Meanwhile； I will get into bed。〃
I closed the window。 Armand； who was still very weak； took off his
dressing…gown and lay down in bed； resting his head for a few moments
on the pillow； like a man who is tired by much talking or disturbed by
painful memories。
〃Perhaps you have been talking too much；〃 I said to him。 〃Would you
rather for me to go and leave you to sleep？ You can tell me the rest of the
story another day。〃
〃Are you tired of listening to it？〃
〃Quite the contrary。〃
〃Then I will go on。 If you left me alone； I should not sleep。〃
When I returned home （he continued； without needing to pause and
recollect himself； so fresh were all the details in his mind）； I did not go to
bed； but began to reflect over the day's adventure。 The meeting； the
introduction； the promise of Marguerite； had followed one another so
rapidly； and so unexpectedly； that there were moments when it seemed to
me I had been dreaming。 Nevertheless； it was not the first time that a girl
like Marguerite had promised herself to a man on the morrow of the day
on which he had asked for the promise。
Though； indeed； I made this reflection； the first impression produced
on me by my future mistress was so strong that it still persisted。 I refused
obstinately to see in her a woman like other women； and； with the vanity
so common to all men； I was ready to believe that she could not but share
the attraction which drew me to her。
Yet； I had before me plenty of instances to the contrary； and I had often
heard that the affection of Marguerite was a thing to be had more or less
dear； according to the season。
But； on the other hand； how was I to reconcile this reputation with her
constant refusal of the young count whom we had found at her house？ You
may say that he was unattractive to her； and that； as she was splendidly
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kept by the duke； she would be more likely to choose a man who was
attractive to her； if she we
