camille (la dame aux camilias)(卡米勒)-第30章
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In the evening she seemed a little calmer； and； making me sit at the
foot of the bed； she told me many times how much she loved me。 She
smiled at me； but with an effort； for in spite of herself her eyes were veiled
with tears。
I used every means to make her confess the real cause of her distress；
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but she persisted in giving me nothing but vague reasons； as I have told
you。 At last she fell asleep in my arms； but it was the sleep which tires
rather than rests the body。 From time to time she uttered a cry； started up；
and； after assuring herself that I was beside her； made me swear that I
would always love her。
I could make nothing of these intermittent paroxysms of distress；
which went on till morning。 Then Marguerite fell into a kind of stupor。 She
had not slept for two nights。
Her rest was of short duration； for toward eleven she awoke； and；
seeing that I was up； she looked about her； crying：
〃Are you going already？〃
〃No；〃 said I； holding her hands； 〃but I wanted to let you sleep on。 It is
still early。〃
〃What time are you going to Paris？〃
〃At four。〃
〃So soon？ But you will stay with me till then？〃
〃Of course。 Do I not always？〃
〃I am so glad！ Shall we have lunch？〃 she went on absentmindedly。
〃If you like。〃
〃And then you will be nice to me till the very moment you go？〃
〃Yes； and I will come back as soon as I can。〃
〃You will come back？〃 she said； looking at me with haggard eyes。
〃Naturally。〃
〃Oh； yes； you will come back to…night。 I shall wait for you； as I always
do； and you will love me； and we shall be happy； as we have been ever
since we have known each other。〃
All these words were said in such a strained voice； they seemed to hide
so persistent and so sorrowful a thought； that I trembled every moment lest
Marguerite should become delirious。
〃Listen；〃 I said。 〃You are ill。 I can not leave you like this。 I will write
and tell my father not to expect me。〃
〃No； no；〃 she cried hastily； 〃don't do that。 Your father will accuse me
of hindering you again from going to see him when he wants to see you；
no； no； you must go； you must！ Besides； I am not ill。 I am quite well。 I had
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a bad dream and am not yet fully awake。〃
From that moment Marguerite tried to seem more cheerful。 There were
no more tears。
When the hour came for me to go； I embraced her and asked her if she
would come with me as far as the train； I hoped that the walk would
distract her and that the air would do her good。 I wanted especially to be
with her as long as possible。
She agreed； put on her cloak and took Nanine with her； so as not to
return alone。 Twenty times I was on the point of not going。 But the hope of
a speedy return； and the fear of offending my father still more； sustained
me； and I took my place in the train。
〃Till this evening！〃 I said to Marguerite； as I left her。 She did not reply。
Once already she had not replied to the same words； and the Comte de
G。； you will remember； had spent the night with her； but that time was so
far away that it seemed to have been effaced from my memory； and if I
had any fear； it was certainly not of Marguerite being unfaithful to me。
Reaching Paris； I hastened off to see Prudence； intending to ask her to go
and keep Marguerite company； in the hope that her mirth and liveliness
would distract her。 I entered without being announced； and found
Prudence at her toilet。
〃Ah！〃 she said； anxiously； 〃is Marguerite with you？〃
〃No。〃
〃How is she？〃
〃She is not well。〃
〃Is she not coming？〃
〃Did you expect her？〃
Madame Duvernoy reddened； and replied； with a certain constraint：
〃I only meant that since you are at Paris； is she not coming to join
you？〃
〃No。〃
I looked at Prudence； she cast down her eyes； and I read in her face the
fear of seeing my visit prolonged。
〃I even came to ask you； my dear Prudence； if you have nothing to do
this evening； to go and see Marguerite； you will be company for her； and
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you can stay the night。 I never saw her as she was to…day； and I am afraid
she is going to be ill。〃
〃I am dining in town；〃 replied Prudence； 〃and I can't go and see
Marguerite this evening。 I will see her tomorrow。〃
I took leave of Mme。 Duvernoy； who seemed almost as preoccupied as
Marguerite； and went on to my father's； his first glance seemed to study
me attentively。 He held out his hand。
〃Your two visits have given me pleasure； Armand；〃 he said； 〃they
make me hope that you have thought over things on your side as I have on
mine。〃
〃May I ask you； father； what was the result of your reflection？〃
〃The result； my dear boy； is that I have exaggerated the importance of
the reports that had been made to me； and that I have made up my mind to
be less severe with you。〃
〃What are you saying； father？〃 I cried joyously。
〃I say； my dear child； that every young man must have his mistress；
and that； from the fresh information I have had； I would rather see you the
lover of Mlle。 Gautier than of any one else。〃
〃My dear father； how happy you make me！〃
We talked in this manner for some moments； and then sat down to
table。 My father was charming all dinner time。
I was in a hurry to get back to Bougival to tell Marguerite about this
fortunate change； and I looked at the clock every moment。
〃You are watching the time；〃 said my father； 〃and you are impatient to
leave me。 O young people； how you always sacrifice sincere to doubtful
affections！〃
〃Do not say that； father； Marguerite loves me； I am sure of it。〃
My father did not answer； he seemed to say neither yes nor no。
He was very insistent that I should spend the whole evening with him
and not go till the morning； but Marguerite had not been well when I left
her。 I told him of it； and begged his permission to go back to her early；
promising to come again on the morrow。
The weather was fine； he walked with me as far as the station。 Never
had I been so happy。 The future appeared as I had long desired to see it。 I
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had never loved my father as I loved him at that moment。
Just as I was leaving him； he once more begged me to stay。 I refused。
〃You are really very much in love with her？〃 he asked。
〃Madly。〃
〃Go； then；〃 and he passed his hand across his forehead as if to chase a
thought； then opened his mouth as if to say something； but he only pressed
my hand； and left me hurriedly； saying：
〃Till to…morrow； then！〃
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CHAPTER 22
It seemed to me as if the train did not move。 I reached Bougival at
eleven。
Not a window in the house was lighted up； and when I rang no one
answered the bell。 It was the first time that such a thing had occurred to
me。 At last the gardener came。 I entered。 Nanine met me with a light。 I
went to Marguerite's room。
〃Where is madame？〃
〃Gone to Paris；〃 replied Nanine。
〃To Paris！〃
〃Yes； sir。〃
〃When？〃
〃An hour after you。〃
〃She left no word for me？〃
〃Nothing。〃
Nanine left me。
Perhaps she had some suspicion or other； I thought； and went to Paris
to make sure that my visit to my father was not an excuse for a day off。
Perhaps Prudence wrote to her about something important。 I said to myself
when I was alone； but I saw Prudence； she said nothing to make me
suppose that she had written to Marguerite。
All at once I remembered Mme。 Duvernoy's question； 〃Isn't she
coming to…day？〃 when I had said that Marguerite was ill。 I remembered at
the same time how embarrassed Prudence had appeared when I looked at
her after this remark； which seemed to indicate an appointment。 I
remembered； too； Marguerite's tears all day long； which my father's kind
reception had rather put out of my mind。 From this moment all the
incidents grouped themselves about my first suspicion； and fixed it so
firmly in my mind that everything served to confirm it； even my father's
kindness。
Marguerite had almost insisted on my going to Paris； she had
pretended to be calmer when I had proposed staying with her。 Had I fallen
into some trap？ Was Marguerite deceiving me？ Had she counted on being
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back in time for me not to perceive her absence； and had she been detained
by chance？ Why had she said nothing to Nanine； or why had she not
written？ What was the meaning of those tears； this absence； this mystery？
That is what I asked myself in affright； as I stood in the vacant room；
gazing at the clock； which pointed to midnight； and seemed to say to me
that it was too late to hope for my mistress's return。 Yet； after all the
arrangements we had just made； after the sacrifices that had been offered
and accepted； was it likely that she was deceiving me？ No。 I tried to get
rid of my first supposition。
Probably she had found a purchaser for her furniture； and she had gone
to Paris to conclude the bargain。 She did not wish to tell me beforehand；
for she knew that； though I had consented to it； the sale； so necessary to
our future happiness； was painful to me； and she feared to wound my self…
respect in speaking to me about it。 She would rather not see me till the
whole thing was done； and that was evidently
