contributions to-all the year round(一年到头)-第6章
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wrote the London Correspondent of the Bleater； within the last year； 〃that
Lord John Russell bitterly regrets having made that explicit speech of last
Monday。〃 These are not roundabout phrases； these are plain words。
What does Lord John Russell （apparently by accident）； within eight…and…
forty hours after their diffusion over the civilised globe？ Rises in his
place in Parliament； and unblushingly declares that if the occasion could
arise five hundred times； for his making that very speech； he would make
it five hundred times！ Is there no conspiracy here？ And is this
combination against one who would be always right if he were not proved
always wrong； to be endured in a country that boasts of its freedom and its
fairness？
But； the Tattlesnivellian who now raises his voice against intolerable
oppression； may be told that； after all； this is a political conspiracy。 He
may be told； forsooth； that Mr。 Disraeli's being in it； that Lord Derby's
being in it； that Mr。 Bright's being in it； that every Home； Foreign； and
Colonial Secretary's being in it； that every ministry's and every
opposition's being in it； are but proofs that men will do in politics what
they would do in nothing else。 Is this the plea？ If so； the rejoinder is；
that the mighty conspiracy includes the whole circle of Artists of all kinds；
and comprehends all degrees of men； down to the worst criminal and the
hangman who ends his career。 For； all these are intimately known to the
London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater； and all these deceive
him。
Sir； put it to the proof。 There is the Bleater on the file documentary
evidence。 Weeks； months； before the Exhibition of the Royal Academy；
the Bleater's London Correspondent knows the subjects of all the leading
pictures； knows what the painters first meant to do； knows what they
afterwards substituted for what they first meant to do； knows what they
ought to do and won't do； knows what they ought not to do and will do；
knows to a letter from whom they have commissions； knows to a shilling
how much they are to be paid。 Now； no sooner is each studio clear of the
remarkable man to whom each studio…occupant has revealed himself as he
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does not reveal himself to his nearest and dearest bosom friend； than
conspiracy and fraud begin。 Alfred the Great becomes the Fairy Queen；
Moses viewing the Promised Land； turns out to be Moses going to the Fair；
Portrait of His Grace the Archbishop of Canterbury； is transformed； as if
by irreverent enchantment of the dissenting interest； into A Favourite
Terrier； or Cattle Grazing； and the most extraordinary work of art in the
list described by the Bleater； is coolly sponged out altogether； and asserted
never to have had existence at all； even in the most shadow thoughts of its
executant！ This is vile enough； but this is not all。 Picture…buyers then
come forth from their secret positions； and creep into their places in the
assassin…multitude of conspirators。 Mr。 Baring； after expressly telling the
Bleater's London Correspondent that he had bought No。 39 for one
thousand guineas； gives it up to somebody unknown for a couple of
hundred pounds； the Marquis of Lansdowne pretends to have no
knowledge whatever of the commissions to which the London
Correspondent of the Bleater swore him； but allows a Railway Contractor
to cut him out for half the money。 Similar examples might be multiplied。
Shame； shame； on these men！ Is this England？
Sir； look again at Literature。 The Bleater's London Correspondent is
not merely acquainted with all the eminent writers； but is in possession of
the secrets of their souls。 He is versed in their hidden meanings and
references； sees their manuscripts before publication； and knows the
subjects and titles of their books when they are not begun。 How dare
those writers turn upon the eminent man and depart from every intention
they have confided to him？ How do they justify themselves in entirely
altering their manuscripts； changing their titles； and abandoning their
subjects？ Will they deny； in the face of Tattlesnivel； that they do so？ If
they have such hardihood； let the file of the Bleater strike them dumb。
By their fruits they shall be known。 Let their works be compared with
the anticipatory letters of the Bleater's London Correspondent； and their
falsehood and deceit will become manifest as the sun； it will be seen that
they do nothing which they stand pledged to the Bleater's London
Correspondent to do； it will be seen that they are among the blackest
parties in this black and base conspiracy。 This will become apparent； sir；
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not only as to their public proceedings but as to their private affairs。 The
outraged Tattlesnivellian who now drags this infamous combination into
the face of day； charges those literary persons with making away with their
property； imposing on the Income Tax Commissioners； keeping false
books； and entering into sham contracts。 He accuses them on the
unimpeachable faith of the London Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel
Bleater。 With whose evidence they will find it impossible to reconcile
their own account of any transaction of their lives。
The national character is degenerating under the influence of the
ramifications of this tremendous conspiracy。 Forgery is committed；
constantly。 A person of noteany sort of person of notedies。 The
Bleater's London Correspondent knows what his circumstances are； what
his savings are （if any）； who his creditors are； all about his children and
relations； and （in general； before his body is cold） describes his will。 Is
that will ever proved？ Never！ Some other will is substituted； the real
instrument； destroyed。 And this （as has been before observed）； is
England。 Who are the workmen and artificers； enrolled upon the books
of this treacherous league？ From what funds are they paid； and with
what ceremonies are they sworn to secrecy？ Are there none such？
Observe what follows。 A little time ago the Bleater's London
Correspondent had this passage： 〃Boddleboy is pianoforte playing at St。
Januarius's Gallery； with pretty tolerable success！ He clears three
hundred pounds per night。 Not bad this！！〃 The builder of St。
Januarius's Gallery （plunged to the throat in the conspiracy） met with this
piece of news； and observed； with characteristic coarseness； 〃that the
Bleater's London Correspondent was a Blind Ass〃。 Being pressed by a
man of spirit to give his reasons for this extraordinary statement； he
declared that the Gallery； crammed to suffocation； would not hold two
hundred pounds； and that its expenses were； probably； at least half what it
did hold。 The man of spirit （himself a Tattlesnivellian） had the Gallery
measured within a week from that hour； and it would not hold two
hundred pounds！ Now； can the poorest capacity doubt that it had been
altered in the meantime？
And so the conspiracy extends； through every grade of society； down
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to the condemned criminal in prison； the hangman； and the Ordinary。
Every famous murderer within the last ten years has desecrated his last
moments by falsifying his confidences imparted specially to the London
Correspondent of the Tattlesnivel Bleater； on every such occasion； Mr。
Calcraft has followed the degrading example； and the reverend Ordinary；
forgetful of his cloth； and mindful only （it would seem； alas！） of the
conspiracy； has committed himself to some account or other of the
criminal's demeanour and conversation； which has been diametrically
opposed to the exclusive information of the London Correspondent of the
Bleater。 And this （as has been before observed） is Merry England！
A man of true genius； however； is not easily defeated。 The Bleater's
London Correspondent； probably beginning to suspect the existence of a
plot against him； has recently fallen on a new style； which； as being very
difficult to countermine； may necessitate the organisation of a new
conspiracy。 One of his masterly letters； lately； disclosed the adoption of
this stylewhich was remarked with profound sensation throughout
Tattlesnivelin the following passage： 〃Mentioning literary small talk； I
may tell you that some new and extraordinary rumours are afloat
concerning the conversations I have previously mentioned； alleged to have
taken place in the first floor front （situated over the street door）； of Mr。 X。
Ameter （the poet so well known to your readers）； in which； X。 Ameter's
great uncle； his second son； his butcher； and a corpulent gentleman with
one eye universally respected at Kensington； are said not to have been on
the most friendly footing； I forbear； however； to pursue the subject further；
this week； my informant not being able to supply me with exact
particulars。〃
But； enough； sir。 The inhabitant of Tattlesnivel who has taken pen in
