in the cage-第14章

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and　open　his　lips。　　She　was　too　nervous　to　bear　it。　　He　asked　for　a

Post…Office　Guide；　and　the　young　man　whipped　out　a　new　one；

whereupon　he　said　he　wished　not　to　purchase；　but　only　to　consult

one　a　moment；　with　which；　the　copy　kept　on　loan　being　produced；　he

once　more　wandered　off。



What　was　he　doing　to　her？　　What　did　he　want　of　her？　　Well；　it　was

just　the　aggravation　of　his　〃See　here！〃　　She　felt　at　this　moment

strangely　and　portentously　afraid　of　himhad　in　her　ears　the　hum

of　a　sense　that；　should　it　come　to　that　kind　of　tension；　she　must

fly　on　the　spot　to　Chalk　Farm。　　Mixed　with　her　dread　and　with　her

reflexion　was　the　idea　that；　if　he　wanted　her　so　much　as　he　seemed

to　show；　it　might　be　after　all　simply　to　do　for　him　the　〃anything〃

she　had　promised；　the　〃everything〃　she　had　thought　it　so　fine　to

bring　out　to　Mr。　Mudge。　　He　might　want　her　to　help　him；　might　have

some　particular　appeal；　though　indeed　his　manner　didn't　denote

thatdenoted　on　the　contrary　an　embarrassment；　an　indecision；

something　of　a　desire　not　so　much　to　be　helped　as　to　be　treated

rather　more　nicely　than　she　had　treated　him　the　other　time。　　Yes；

he　considered　quite　probably　that　he　had　help　rather　to　offer　than

to　ask　for。　　Still；　none　the　less；　when　he　again　saw　her　free　he

continued　to　keep　away　from　her；　when　he　came　back　with　his　thumbed

Guide　it　was　Mr。　Buckton　he　caughtit　was　from　Mr。　Buckton　he

obtained　half…a…crown's…worth　of　stamps。



After　asking　for　the　stamps　he　asked；　quite　as　a　second　thought；

for　a　postal…order　for　ten　shillings。　　What　did　he　want　with　so

many　stamps　when　he　wrote　so　few　letters？　　How　could　he　enclose　a

postal…order　in　a　telegram？　　She　expected　him；　the　next　thing；　to

go　into　the　corner　and　make　up　one　of　his　telegramshalf　a　dozen

of　themon　purpose　to　prolong　his　presence。　　She　had　so　completely

stopped　looking　at　him　that　she　could　only　guess　his　movements

guess　even　where　his　eyes　rested。　　Finally　she　saw　him　make　a　dash

that　might　have　been　toward　the　nook　where　the　forms　were　hung；　and

at　this　she　suddenly　felt　that　she　couldn't　keep　it　up。　　The

counter…clerk　had　just　taken　a　telegram　from　a　slavey；　and；　to　give

herself　something　to　cover　her；　she　snatched　it　out　of　his　hand。

The　gesture　was　so　violent　that　he　gave　her　in　return　an　odd　look；

and　she　also　perceived　that　Mr。　Buckton　noticed　it。　　The　latter

personage；　with　a　quick　stare　at　her；　appeared　for　an　instant　to

wonder　whether　his　snatching　it　in　HIS　turn　mightn't　be　the　thing

she　would　least　like；　and　she　anticipated　this　practical　criticism

by　the　frankest　glare　she　had　ever　given　him。　　It　sufficed：　　this

time　it　paralysed　him；　and　she　sought　with　her　trophy　the　refuge　of

the　sounder。







CHAPTER　XXI







It　was　repeated　the　next　day；　it　went　on　for　three　days；　and　at　the

end　of　that　time　she　knew　what　to　think。　　When；　at　the　beginning；

she　had　emerged　from　her　temporary　shelter　Captain　Everard　had

quitted　the　shop；　and　he　had　not　come　again　that　evening；　as　it　had

struck　her　he　possibly　mightmight　all　the　more　easily　that　there

were　numberless　persons　who　came；　morning　and　afternoon；　numberless

times；　so　that　he　wouldn't　necessarily　have　attracted　attention。

The　second　day　it　was　different　and　yet　on　the　whole　worse。　　His

access　to　her　had　become　possibleshe　felt　herself　even　reaping

the　fruit　of　her　yesterday's　glare　at　Mr。　Buckton；　but　transacting

his　business　with　him　didn't　simplifyit　could；　in　spite　of　the

rigour　of　circumstance；　feed　so　her　new　conviction。　　The　rigour　was

tremendous；　and　his　telegramsnot　now　mere　pretexts　for　getting　at

herwere　apparently　genuine；　yet　the　conviction　had　taken　but　a

night　to　develop。　　It　could　be　simply　enough　expressed；　she　had　had

the　glimmer　of　it　the　day　before　in　her　idea　that　he　needed　no　more

help　than　she　had　already　given；　that　it　was　help　he　himself　was

prepared　to　render。　　He　had　come　up　to　town　but　for　three　or　four

days；　he　had　been　absolutely　obliged　to　be　absent　after　the　other

time；　yet　he　would；　now　that　he　was　face　to　face　with　her；　stay　on

as　much　longer　as　she　liked。　　Little　by　little　it　was　thus

clarified；　though　from　the　first　flash　of　his　re…appearance　she　had

read　into　it　the　real　essence。



That　was　what　the　night　before；　at　eight　o'clock；　her　hour　to　go；

had　made　her　hang　back　and　dawdle。　　She　did　last　things　or

pretended　to　do　them；　to　be　in　the　cage　had　suddenly　become　her

safety；　and　she　was　literally　afraid　of　the　alternate　self　who

might　be　waiting　outside。　　HE　might　be　waiting；　it　was　he　who　was

her　alternate　self；　and　of　him　she　was　afraid。　　The　most

extraordinary　change　had　taken　place　in　her　from　the　moment　of　her

catching　the　impression　he　seemed　to　have　returned　on　purpose　to

give　her。　　Just　before　she　had　done　so；　on　that　bewitched

afternoon；　she　had　seen　herself　approach　without　a　scruple　the

porter　at　Park　Chambers；　then　as　the　effect　of　the　rush　of　a

consciousness　quite　altered　she　had　on　at　last　quitting　Cocker's；

gone　straight　home　for　the　first　time　since　her　return　from

Bournemouth。　　She　had　passed　his　door　every　night　for　weeks；　but

nothing　would　have　induced　her　to　pass　it　now。　　This　change　was　the

tribute　of　her　fearthe　result　of　a　change　in　himself　as　to　which

she　needed　no　more　explanation　than　his　mere　face　vividly　gave　her；

strange　though　it　was　to　find　an　element　of　deterrence　in　the

object　that　she　regarded　as　the　most　beautiful　in　the　world。　　He

had　taken　it　from　her　in　the　Park　that　night　that　she　wanted　him

not　to　propose　to　her　to　sup；　but　he　had　put　away　the　lesson　by

this　timehe　practically　proposed　supper　every　time　he　looked　at

her。　　This　was　what；　for　that　matter；　mainly　filled　the　three　days。

He　came　in　twice　on　each　of　these；　and　it　was　as　if　he　came　in　to

give　her　a　chance　to　relent。　　That　was　after　all；　she　said　to

herself　in　the　intervals；　the　most　that　he　did。　　There　were　ways；

she　fully　recognised；　in　which　he　spared　her；　and　other　particular

ways　as　to　which　she　meant　that　her　silence　should　be　full　to　him

of　exquisite　pleading。　　The　most　particular　of　all　was　his　not

being　outside；　at　the　corner；　when　she　quitted　the　place　for　the

night。　　This　he　might　so　easily　have　beenso　easily　if　he　hadn't

been　so　nice。　　She　continued　to　recognise　in　his　forbearance　the

fruit　of　her　dumb　supplication；　and　the　only　compensation　he　found

for　it　was　the　harmless　freedom　of　being　able　to　appear　to　say：

〃Yes；　I'm　in　town　only　for　three　or　four　days；　but；　you　know；　I

WOULD　stay　on。〃　　He　struck　her　as　calling　attention　each　day；　each

hour；　to　the　rapid　ebb　of　time；　he　exaggerated　to　the　point　of

putting　it　that　there　were　only　two　days　more；　that　there　was　at

last；　dreadfully；　only　one。



There　were　other　things　still　that　he　struck　her　as　doing　with　a

special　intention；　as　to　the　most　marked　of　whichunless　indeed　it

were　the　most　obscureshe　might　well　have　marvelled　that　it　didn't

seem　to　her　more　horrid。　　It　was　either　the　frenzy　of　her

imagination　or　the　disorder　of　his　baffled　passion　that　gave　her

once　or　twice　the　vision　of　his　putting　down　redundant　money

sovereigns　not　concerned　with　the　little　payments　he　was

perpetually　makingso　that　she　might　give　him　some　sign　of　helping

him　to　slip　them　over　to　her。　　What　was　most　extraordinary　in　this

impression　was　the　amount　of　excuse　that；　with　some　incoherence；

she　found　for　him。　　He　wanted　to　pay　her　because　there　was　nothing

to　pay　her　for。　　He　wanted　to　offer　her　things　he　knew　she　wouldn't

take。　　He　wanted　to　show　her　how　much　he　respected　her　by　giving

her　the　supreme　chance　to　show　HIM　she　was　respectable。　　Over　the

dryest　transactions；　at　any　rate；　their　eyes　had　out　these

questions。　　On　the　third　day　he　put　in　a　telegram　that　had

evidently　something　of　the　same　point　as　the　stray　sovereignsa

message　that　was　in　the　first　place　concocted　and　that　on　a　second

thought　he　took　back　from　her　before　she　had　stamped　it。　　He　had

given　her　time　to　read　it　and　had　only　then　bethought　himself　that

he　had　better　not　send　it。　　If　it　was　not　to　Lady　Bradeen　at

Twindlewhere　she　knew　her　ladyship　then　to　bethis　was　because

an　address　to　Doctor　Buzzard　at　Brickwood　was　just　as　good；　with

the　added　merit　of　its　not　giving　away　quite　so　much　a　person　whom

he　had　still；　after　all；　in　a　manner　to　consider。　　It　was　of　course

most　complicated；　only　half　lighted；　but　there　was；　discernibly

enough；　a　scheme　of　communication　in　which　Lady　Bradeen　at　Twindle

and　Dr。　Buzzard　at　Brickwood　were；　within　limits；　one　and　the　same

person。　　The　words　he　had　shown　her　and　then　taken　back　consisted；

at　all　events；　of　the　brief　but　vivid　phrase　〃Absolutely

impossible。〃　　The　point　was　not　that　she　should　transmit　it；　the

point　was　just　that　she　should　see　it。　　What　was　absolutely

impossible　was　that　before　he　had　setted　something　at　Cocker's　he

should　go　either　to　Twindle　or　to　Brickwood。



The　logic　of　this；　in　turn；　for　herself；　was　that　she　could　lend

herself　to　no　settlement　so　long　as　she　so　intensely　knew。　　What

she　knew　was　that　he　was；　almost　under　peril　of　life；　clenched　in　a

situation：　　therefore　how　could　she　also　know　where　a　poor　girl　in

the　P。O。　might　really　stand？　　It　was　more　and　more　between　them

that　if　he　might　convey　to　her　he　was　free；　with　all　the　impossible

locked　away　into　a　closed　chapter；　her　own　case　might　become

different　for　her；　she　might　understand　and　meet　him　and　listen。

But　he　could　convey　nothing　of　the　sort；　and　he　only　fidgeted　and

floundered　in　his　want　of　power。　　The　chapter　wasn't　in　the　least

closed；　not　for　the　other　party；　and　the　other　party　had　a　pull；

somehow　and　somewhere：　　this　his　whole　attitude　and　expression

confessed；　at　the　same　time　that　they　entreated　her　not　to　remember

and　not　to　mind。　　So　long　as　she　did　remember　and　did　mind　he　could

only　circle　about　and　go　and　come；　doing　futile　things　of　which　he

was　ashamed。　　He　was　ashamed　of　his　two　words　to　Dr。　Buzzard；　he

went　out　of　the　shop　as　soon　as　he　had　crumpled　up　the　paper　again

and　thrust　it　into　his　pocket。　　It　had　been　an　abject　little

exposure　of　dreadful　impossible　passion。　　He　appeared　in　fact　to　be

too　ashamed　to　come　back。　　He　had　once　more　left　town；　and　a　first

week　elapsed；　and　a　second。　　He　had　had　naturally　to　return　to　the

real　mistress　of　his　fate；　she　had　insistedshe　knew　how　to

insist；　and　he　couldn't　put　in　another　hour。　　There　was　always　a

day　when　she　called　time。　　It　was　known　to　our　young　friend

moreover　that　he　had　now　been　dispatching　telegrams　from　other

offices。　　She　knew　at　last　so　much　that　she　had　quite　lost　her

earlier　sense　of　merely　guessing。　　There　were　no　different　shades

of　distinctnessit　all　bounced　out。







CHAPTER　XXII







Eighteen　days　elapsed；　and　she　had　begun　to　think　it　probable　she

should　never　see　him　again。　　He　too　then　understood　now：　　he　had

made　out　that　she　had　secrets　a