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第40章

madame bovary(包法利夫人)-第40章

小说: madame bovary(包法利夫人) 字数: 每页3500字

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his hat said
〃It is settled; isn't it? To…morrow at six o'clock?〃
Charles explained once more that he could not absent himself
longer; but that nothing prevented Emma
〃But;〃 she stammered; with a strange smile; 〃I am not sure〃
〃Well; you must think it over。 We'll see。 Night brings counsel。〃
Then to Leon; who was walking along with them; 〃Now that you are
in our part of the world; I hope you'll come and ask us for some
dinner now and then。〃
The clerk declared he would not fail to do so; being obliged;
moreover; to go to Yonville on some business for his office。 And
they parted before the Saint…Herbland Passage just as the clock
in the cathedral struck half…past eleven。

Part III
Chapter One
Monsieur Leon; while studying law; had gone pretty often to the
dancing…rooms; where he was even a great success amongst the
grisettes; who thought he had a distinguished air。 He was the
best…mannered of the students; he wore his hair neither too long
nor too short; didn't spend all his quarter's money on the first
day of the month; and kept on good terms with his professors。 As
for excesses; he had always abstained from them; as much from
cowardice as from refinement。
Often when he stayed in his room to read; or else when sitting of
an evening under the lime…trees of the Luxembourg; he let his
Code fall to the ground; and the memory of Emma came back to him。
But gradually this feeling grew weaker; and other desires
gathered over it; although it still persisted through them all。
For Leon did not lose all hope; there was for him; as it were; a
vague promise floating in the future; like a golden fruit
suspended from some fantastic tree。
Then; seeing her again after three years of absence his passion
reawakened。 He must; he thought; at last make up his mind to
possess her。 Moreover; his timidity had worn off by contact with
his gay companions; and he returned to the provinces despising
everyone who had not with varnished shoes trodden the asphalt of
the boulevards。 By the side of a Parisienne in her laces; in the
drawing…room of some illustrious physician; a person driving his
carriage and wearing many orders; the poor clerk would no doubt
have trembled like a child; but here; at Rouen; on the harbour;
with the wife of this small doctor he felt at his ease; sure
beforehand he would shine。 Self…possession depends on its
environment。 We don't speak on the first floor as on the fourth;
and the wealthy woman seems to have; about her; to guard her
virtue; all her banknotes; like a cuirass in the lining of her
corset。
On leaving the Bovarys the night before; Leon had followed them
through the streets at a distance; then having seen them stop at
the 〃Croix…Rouge;〃 he turned on his heel; and spent the night
meditating a plan。
So the next day about five o'clock he walked into the kitchen of
the inn; with a choking sensation in his throat; pale cheeks; and
that resolution of cowards that stops at nothing。
〃The gentleman isn't in;〃 answered a servant。
This seemed to him a good omen。 He went upstairs。
She was not disturbed at his approach; on the contrary; she
apologised for having neglected to tell him where they were
staying。
〃Oh; I divined it!〃 said Leon。
He pretended he had been guided towards her by chance; by;
instinct。 She began to smile; and at once; to repair his folly;
Leon told her that he had spent his morning in looking for her in
all the hotels in the town one after the other。
〃So you have made up your mind to stay?〃 he added。
〃Yes;〃 she said; 〃and I am wrong。 One ought not to accustom
oneself to impossible pleasures when there are a thousand demands
upon one。〃
〃Oh; I can imagine!〃
〃Ah! no; for you; you are a man!〃
But men too had had their trials; and the conversation went off
into certain philosophical reflections。 Emma expatiated much on
the misery of earthly affections; and the eternal isolation in
which the heart remains entombed。
To show off; or from a naive imitation of this melancholy which
called forth his; the young man declared that he had been awfully
bored during the whole course of his studies。 The law irritated
him; other vocations attracted him; and his mother never ceased
worrying him in every one of her letters。 As they talked they
explained more and more fully the motives of their sadness;
working themselves up in their progressive confidence。 But they
sometimes stopped short of the complete exposition of their
thought; and then sought to invent a phrase that might express it
all the same。 She did not confess her passion for another; he did
not say that he had forgotten her。
Perhaps he no longer remembered his suppers with girls after
masked balls; and no doubt she did not recollect the rendezvous
of old when she ran across the fields in the morning to her
lover's house。 The noises of the town hardly reached them; and
the room seemed small; as if on purpose to hem in their solitude
more closely。 Emma; in a dimity dressing…gown; leant her head
against the back of the old arm…chair; the yellow wall…paper
formed; as it were; a golden background behind her; and her bare
head was mirrored in the glass with the white parting in the
middle; and the tip of her ears peeping out from the folds of her
hair。
〃But pardon me!〃 she said。 〃It is wrong of me。 I weary you with
my eternal complaints。〃
〃No; never; never!〃
〃If you knew;〃 she went on; raising to the ceiling her beautiful
eyes; in which a tear was trembling; 〃all that I had dreamed!〃
〃And I! Oh; I too have suffered! Often I went out; I went away。 I
dragged myself along the quays; seeking distraction amid the din
of the crowd without being able to banish the heaviness that
weighed upon me。 In an engraver's shop on the boulevard there is
an Italian print of one of the Muses。 She is draped in a tunic;
and she is looking at the moon; with forget…me…nots in her
flowing hair。 Something drove me there continually; I stayed
there hours together。〃 Then in a trembling voice; 〃She resembled
you a little。〃
Madame Bovary turned away her head that he might not see the
irrepressible smile she felt rising to her lips。
〃Often;〃 he went on; 〃I wrote you letters that I tore up。〃
She did not answer。 He continued
〃I sometimes fancied that some chance would bring you。 I thought
I recognised you at street…corners; and I ran after all the
carriages through whose windows I saw a shawl fluttering; a veil
like yours。〃
She seemed resolved to let him go on speaking without
interruption。 Crossing her arms and bending down her face; she
looked at the rosettes on her slippers; and at intervals made
little movements inside the satin of them with her toes。
At last she sighed。
〃But the most wretched thing; is it notis to drag out; as I do;
a useless existence。 If our pains were only of some use to
someone; we should find consolation in the thought of the
sacrifice。〃
He started off in praise of virtue; duty; and silent immolation;
having himself an incredible longing for self…sacrifice that he
could not satisfy。
〃I should much like;〃 she said; 〃to be a nurse at a hospital。〃
〃Alas! men have none of these holy missions; and I see nowhere
any callingunless perhaps that of a doctor。〃
With a slight shrug of her shoulders; Emma interrupted him to
speak of her illness; which had almost killed her。 What a pity!
She should not be suffering now! Leon at once envied the calm of
the tomb; and one evening he had even made his will; asking to be
buried in that beautiful rug with velvet stripes he had received
from her。 For this was how they would have wished to be; each
setting up an ideal to which they were now adapting their past
life。 Besides; speech is a rolling…mill that always thins out the
sentiment。
But at this invention of the rug she asked; 〃But why?〃
〃Why?〃 He hesitated。 〃Because I loved you so!〃 And congratulating
himself at having surmounted the difficulty; Leon watched her
face out of the corner of his eyes。
It was like the sky when a gust of wind drives the clouds across。
The mass of sad thoughts that darkened them seemed to be lifted
from her blue eyes; her whole face shone。 He waited。 At last she
replied
〃I always suspected it。〃
Then they went over all the trifling events of that far…off
existence; whose joys and sorrows they had just summed up in one
word。 They recalled the arbour with clematis; the dresses she had
worn; the furniture of her room; the whole of her house。
〃And our poor cactuses; where are they?〃
〃The cold killed them this winter。〃
〃Ah! how I have thought of them; do you know? I often saw them
again as of yore; when on the summer mornings the sun beat down
upon your blinds; and I saw your two bare arms passing out
amongst the flowers。〃
〃Poor friend!〃 she said; holding out her hand to him。
Leon swiftly pressed his lips to it。 Then; when he had taken a
deep breath
〃At that time you were to me I know not what incomprehensible
force that took captive my life。 Once; for instance; I went to
see you; but you; no doubt; do not remember it。〃
〃I do;〃 she said; 〃go on。〃
〃You were downstairs in the ante…room; ready to go out; standing
on the last stair; you were wearing a bonnet with small blue
flowers; and without any invitation from you; in spite of myself;
I went with you。 Every moment; however; I grew more and more
conscious of my folly; and I went on walking by you; not daring
to follow you completely; and unwilling to leave you。 When you
went into a shop; I waited in the street; and I watched you
through the window taking off your gloves and counting the change
on the counter。 Then you rang at Madame Tuvache's; you were let
in; and I stood like an idiot in front of the great heavy door
that had closed after you。〃
Madame Bovary; as she listened to him; wondered that she was so
old。 All these things reappearing before her seemed to widen out
her life; it was like some sentimental immensity to which she
returned; and from time to time she said in a low voice; her eyes
half closed
〃Yes; it is truetruetrue!〃
They heard eight strike on the different clocks of the
Beauvoisine quarter; which is full of schools; churches; and
large empty hotels。 They no longer spoke; but they felt as they
looked upon each other a buzzing in their heads; as if something
sonorous had escaped from the fixed eyes of each of them。 They
were hand in hand now; and the past; the future; reminiscences
and dreams; all were confounded in the sweetness of this ecstasy。
Night was darkening over the walls; on which still shone; half
hidden in the shade; the coarse colours of four bills
representing four scenes from the 〃Tour de Nesle;〃 with a motto
in Spanish and French at the bottom。 Through the sash…window a
patch of dark sky was seen between the pointed roofs。
She rose to light two wax…candles on the drawers; then she sat
down again。
〃Well!〃 said Leon。
〃Well!〃 she replied。
He was thinking how to resume the interrupted conversation; when
she said to him
〃How is it that no one until now has ever expressed such
sentiments to me?〃
The clerk said that ideal natures were difficult to understand。
He from the first moment had loved her; and he despaired when he
thought of the happiness that would have been theirs; if thanks
to fortune; meeting her earlier; they 

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