ivanoff-第11章

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！



SHABELSKI。　Paul；　give　me　some　money。　I　will　repay　you　in　the　next
world。　I　would　go　to　Paris　and　see　my　wife's　grave。　I　have　given
away　a　great　deal　of　money　in　my　life；　half　my　fortune　indeed；
and　I　have　a　right　to　ask　for　some　now。　Besides；　I　am　asking　a
friend

LEBEDIEFF。　＇Embarrassed＇　My　dear　boy；　I　haven't　a　penny。　All
right　though。　That　is　to　say；　I　can't　promise　anything；　but　you
understandvery　well；　very　well。　＇Aside＇　This　is　agony！

Enter　MARTHA。

MARTHA。　Where　is　my　partner？　Count；　how　dare　you　leave　me　alone？
You　are　horrid！　＇She　taps　SHABELSKI　on　the　arm　with　her　fan＇

SHABELSKI。　＇Impatiently＇　Leave　me　alone！　I　can't　abide　you！

MARTHA。　＇Frightened＇　How？　What？

SHABELSKI。　Go　away！

MARTHA。　＇Sinks　into　an　arm…chair＇　Oh！　Oh！　Oh！　＇She　bursts　into
tears。＇

Enter　ZINAIDA　crying。

ZINAIDA。　Some　one　has　just　arrived；　it　must　be　one　of　the　ushers。
It　is　time　for　the　ceremony　to　begin。

SASHA。　＇Imploringly＇　Mother！

LEBEDIEFF。　Well；　now　you　are　all　bawling。　What　a　quartette！　Come；
come；　don't　let　us　have　any　more　of　this　dampness！　Matthew！
Martha！　If　you　go　on　like　this；　IIshall　cry　too。　＇Bursts　into
tears＇　Heavens！

ZINAIDA。　If　you　don't　need　your　mother　any　more；　if　you　are
determined　not　to　obey　her；　I　shall　have　to　do　as　you　want；　and
you　have　my　blessing。

Enter　IVANOFF；　dressed　in　a　long　coat；　with　gloves　on。

LEBEDIEFF　This　is　the　finishing　touch！　What　do　you　want？

SHABELSKI。　Why　are　you　here？

IVANOFF。　I　beg　your　pardon；　you　must　allow　me　to　speak　to　Sasha
alone。

LEBEDIEFF。　The　bridegroom　must　not　come　to　see　the　bride　before
the　wedding。　It　is　time　for　you　to　go　to　the　church。

IVANOFF。　Paul；　I　implore　you。

LEBEDIEFF　shrugs　his　shoulders。　LEBEDIEFF；　ZINAIDA；　SHABELSKI；
and　MARTHA　go　out。

SASHA。　＇Sternly＇　What　do　you　want？

IVANOFF。　I　am　choking　with　anger；　I　cannot　speak　calmly。　Listen
to　me；　as　I　was　dressing　just　now　for　the　wedding；　I　looked　in
the　glass　and　saw　how　grey　my　temples　were。　Sasha；　this　must　not
be！　Let　us　end　this　senseless　comedy　before　it　is　too　late。　You
are　young　and　pure；　you　have　all　your　life　before　you；　but　I…

SASHA。　The　same　old　story；　I　have　heard　it　a　thousand　times　and　I
am　tired　of　it。　Go　quickly　to　the　church　and　don't　keep　everybody
waiting！

IVANOFF。　I　shall　go　straight　home；　and　you　must　explain　to　your
family　somehow　that　there　is　to　be　no　wedding。　Explain　it　as　you
please。　It　is　time　we　came　to　our　senses。　I　have　been　playing　the
part　of　Hamlet　and　you　have　been　playing　the　part　of　a　noble　and
devoted　girl。　We　have　kept　up　the　farce　long　enough。

SASHA。　＇Losing　her　temper＇　How　can　you　speak　to　me　like　this？　I
won't　have　it。

IVANOFF。　But　I　am　speaking；　and　will　continue　to　speak。

SASHA。　What　do　you　mean　by　coming　to　me　like　this？　Your
melancholy　has　become　absolutely　ridiculous！

IVANOFF。　No；　this　is　not　melancholy。　It　is　ridiculous；　is　it？
Yes；　I　am　laughing；　and　if　it　were　possible　for　me　to　laugh　at
myself　a　thousand　times　more　bitterly　I　should　do　so　and　set　the
whole　world　laughing；　too；　in　derision。　A　fierce　light　has
suddenly　broken　over　my　soul；　as　I　looked　into　the　glass　just
now；　I　laughed　at　myself；　and　nearly　went　mad　with　shame。　＇He
laughs＇　Melancholy　indeed！　Noble　grief！　Uncontrollable　sorrow！　It
only　remains　for　me　now　to　begin　to　write　verses！　Shall　I　mope
and　complain；　sadden　everybody　I　meet；　confess　that　my　manhood
has　gone　forever；　that　I　have　decayed；　outlived　my　purpose；　that
I　have　given　myself　up　to　cowardice　and　am　bound　hand　and　foot　by
this　loathsome　melancholy？　Shall　I　confess　all　this　when　the　sun
is　shining　so　brightly　and　when　even　the　ants　are　carrying　their
little　burdens　in　peaceful　self…content？　No；　thanks。　Can　I　endure
the　knowledge　that　one　will　look　upon　me　as　a　fraud；　while
another　pities　me；　a　third　lends　me　a　helping　hand；　or　worst　of
all；　a　fourth　listens　reverently　to　my　sighs；　looks　upon　me　as　a
new　Mahomet；　and　expects　me　to　expound　a　new　religion　every
moment？　No；　thank　God　for　the　pride　and　conscience　he　has　left　me
still。　On　my　way　here　I　laughed　at　myself；　and　it　seemed　to　me
that　the　flowers　and　birds　were　laughing　mockingly　too。

SASHA。　This　is　not　anger；　but　madness！

IVANOFF。　You　think　so；　do　you？　No；　I　am　not　mad。　I　see　things　in
their　right　light　now；　and　my　mind　is　as　clear　as　your
conscience。　We　love　each　other；　but　we　shall　never　be　married。　It
makes　no　difference　how　I　rave　and　grow　bitter　by　myself；　but　I
have　no　right　to　drag　another　down　with　me。　My　melancholy　robbed
my　wife　of　the　last　year　of　her　life。　Since　you　have　been　engaged
to　me　you　have　forgotten　how　to　laugh　and　have　aged　five　years。
Your　father；　to　whom　life　was　always　simple　and　clear；　thanks　to
me；　is　now　unable　to　understand　anybody。　Wherever　I　go；　whether
hunting　or　visiting；　it　makes　no　difference；　I　carry　depression；
dulness；　and　discontent　along　with　me。　Wait！　Don't　interrupt　me！
I　am　bitter　and　harsh；　I　know；　but　I　am　stifled　with　rage。　I
cannot　speak　otherwise。　I　have　never　lied；　and　I　never　used　to
find　fault　with　my　lot；　but　since　I　have　begun　to　complain　of
everything；　I　find　fault　with　it　involuntarily；　and　against　my
will。　When　I　murmur　at　my　fate　every　one　who　hears　me　is　seized
with　the　same　disgust　of　life　and　begins　to　grumble　too。　And　what
a　strange　way　I　have　of　looking　at　things！　Exactly　as　if　I　were
doing　the　world　a　favour　by　living　in　it。　Oh；　I　am　contemptible。

SASHA。　Wait　a　moment。　From　what　you　have　just　said；　it　is　obvious
that　you　are　tired　of　your　melancholy　mood；　and　that　the　time　has
come　for　you　to　begin　life　afresh。　How　splendid！

IVANOFF。　I　don't　see　anything　splendid　about　it。　How　can　I　lead　a
new　life？　I　am　lost　forever。　It　is　time　we　both　understood　that。
A　new　life　indeed！

SASHA。　Nicholas；　come　to　your　senses。　How　can　you　say　you　are
lost？　What　do　you　mean　by　such　cynicism？　No；　I　won't　listen　to
you　or　talk　with　you。　Go　to　the　church！

IVANOFF。　I　am　lost！

SASHA。　Don't　talk　so　loud；　our　guests　will　hear　you！

IVANOFF。　If　an　intelligent；　educated；　and　healthy　man　begins　to
complain　of　his　lot　and　go　down…hill；　there　is　nothing　for　him　to
do　but　to　go　on　down　until　he　reaches　the　bottomthere　is　no
hope　for　him。　Where　could　my　salvation　come　from？　How　can　I　save
myself？　I　cannot　drink；　because　it　makes　my　head　ache。　I　never
could　write　bad　poetry。　I　cannot　pray　for　strength　and　see
anything　lofty　in　the　languor　of　my　soul。　Laziness　is　laziness
and　weakness　weakness。　I　can　find　no　other　names　for　them。　I　am
lost；　I　am　lost；　there　is　no　doubt　of　that。　＇Looking　around＇　Some
one　might　come　in；　listen；　Sasha；　if　you　love　me　you　must　help
me。　Renounce　me　this　minute；　quickly！

SASHA。　Oh；　Nicholas！　If　you　only　knew　how　you　are　torturing　me；
what　agony　I　have　to　endure　for　your　sake！　Good　thoughtful
friend；　judge　for　yourself；　can　I　possibly　solve　such　a　problem？
Each　day　you　put　some　horrible　problem　before　me；　each　one　more
difficult　than　the　last。　I　wanted　to　help　you　with　my　love；　but
this　is　martyrdom！

IVANOFF。　And　when　you　are　my　wife　the　problems　will　be　harder
than　ever。　Understand　this：　it　is　not　love　that　is　urging　you　to
take　this　step；　but　the　obstinacy　of　an　honest　nature。　You　have
undertaken　to　reawaken　the　man　in　me　and　to　save　me　in　the　face
of　every　difficulty；　and　you　are　flattered　by　the　hope　of
achieving　your　object。　You　are　willing　to　give　up　now；　but　you
are　prevented　from　doing　it　by　a　feeling　that　is　a　false　one。
Understand　yourself！

SASHA。　What　strange；　wild　reasoning！　How　can　I　give　you　up　now？
How　can　I？　You　have　no　mother；　or　sister；　or　friends。　You　are
ruined；　your　estate　has　been　destroyed；　every　one　is　speaking　ill
of　you

IVANOFF。　It　was　foolish　of　me　to　come　here；　I　should　have　done　as
I　wanted　to

Enter　LEBEDIEFF。

SASHA。　＇Running　to　her　father＇　Father！　He　has　rushed　over　here
like　a　madman；　and　is　torturing　me！　He　insists　that　I　should
refuse　to　marry　him；　he　says　he　doesn't　want　to　drag　me　down　with
him。　Tell　him　that　I　won't　accept　his　generosity。　I　know　what　I
am　doing！

LEBEDIEFF。　I　can't　understand　a　word　of　what　you　are　saying。　What
generosity？

IVANOFF。　This　marriage　is　not　going　to　take　place。

SASHA。　It　is　going　to　take　place。　Papa；　tell　him　that　it　is　going
to　take　place。

LEBEDIEFF。　Wait！　Wait！　What　objection　have　you　to　the　marriage？

IVANOFF。　I　have　explained　it　all　to　her；　but　she　refuses　to
understand　me。

LEBEDIEFF。　Don't　explain　it　to　her；　but　to　me；　and　explain　it　so
that　I　may　understand。　God　forgive　you；　Nicholas；　you　have
brought　a　great　deal　of　darkness　into　our　lives。　I　feel　as　if　I
were　living　in　a　museum；　I　look　about　me　and　don't　understand
anything　I　see。　This　is　torture。　What　on　earth　can　an　old　man
like　me　do　with　you？　Shall　I　challenge　you　to　a　duel？

IVANOFF。　There　is　no　need　of　a　duel。　All　you　need　is　a　head　on
your　shoulders　and　a　knowledge　of　the　Russian　language。

SASHA。　＇Walks　up　and　down　in　great　excitement＇　This　is　dreadful；
dreadful！　Absolutely　childish。

LEBEDIEFF。　Listen　to　me；　Nicholas；　from　your　point　of　view　what
you　are　doing　is　quite　right　and　proper；　according　to　the　rules
of　psychology；　but　I　think　this　affair　is　a　scandal　and　a　great
misfortune。　I　am　an　old　man；　hear　me　out　for　the　last　time。　This
is　what　I　want　to　say　to　you：　calm　yourself；　look　at　things
simply；　as　every　one　else　does；　this　is　a　simple　world。　The
ceiling　is　white；　your　boots　are　black；　sugar　is　sweet。　You　love
Sasha　and　she　loves　you。　If　you　love　her；　stay　with　her；　if　you
don't；　leave　her。　We　shan't　blame　you。　It　is　all　perfectly
simple。　You　are　two　healthy；　intelligent；　moral　young　people；
thank　God；　you　both　have　food　and　clothingwhat　more　do　you
want？　What　if　you　have　no　money？　That　is　no　great
misfortunehappiness　is　not　bought　with　wealth。　Of　course　your
estate　is　mortgaged；　Nicholas；　as　I　know；　and　you　have　no　money
to　pay　the　interest　on　the　debt；　but　I　am　Sasha's　father。　I
understand。　Her　mother　can　do　as　she　likesif　she　won't　give　any
money；　why；　confound　her；　then　she　needn't；　that's　all！　Sasha　has
just　said　that　she　does　not　want　her　part　of　it。　As　for　your
principles；　Schopenhauer　and　all　that；　it　is　all　folly。　I　have
one　hundred　thousand　roubles　in　the　bank。　＇Looking　around　him＇
Not　a　soul　in　the　house　knows　it；　it　was　my　grandmother's　money。
That　shall　be　for　you　both。　Take　it；　give　Matthew　two　thousand

＇The　guests　begin　to　collect　in　the　ball…room＇。

IVANOFF。　It　is　no　use　discussing　it　any　more；　I　must　act　as　my
conscience　bids　me。

SASHA。　And　I　shall　act　as　my　conscience　bids　meyou　may　say　what
you　please；　I　refuse　to　let　you　go！　I　am　going　to　call　my　mother。

LEBEDIEFF。　I　am　utterly　puzzled。

IVANOFF。　Listen　to　me；　poor　old　friend。　I　shall　not　try　to
explain　myself　to　you。　I　shall　not　tell　you　whether　I　am　honest
or　a　rascal；　healthy　or　mad；　you　wouldn't　understand　me。　I　was
young　once；　I　have　been　eager　and　sincere　and　intelligent。　I　have
loved　and　hated　and　believed　as　no　one　else　has。　I　have　worked
and　hoped　and　tilted　against　windmills　with　the　strength　of
tennot　sparing　my　strength；　not　knowing　what　life　was。　I
shouldered　a　load　that　broke　my　back。　I　drank；　I　worked；　I
excited　myself；　my　energy　knew　no　bounds。　Tell