ivanoff-第5章

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you　expect　her　to　get　rid　of　it？

SHABELSKI。　＇Sits　down　near　the　table＇　Are　you　still　adding　to　the
hoard；　Zuzu？　You　will　soon　have　a　million；　eh？

ZINAIDA。　＇Sighing＇　I　know　it　seems　as　if　no　one　could　be　richer
than　we；　but　where　do　they　think　the　money　comes　from？　It　is　all
gossip。

SHABELSKI。　Oh；　yes；　we　all　know　that！　We　know　how　badly　you　play
your　cards！　Tell　me；　Paul；　honestly；　have　you　saved　up　a　million
yet？

LEBEDIEFF。　I　don't　know。　Ask　Zuzu。

SHABELSKI。　＇To　MARTHA＇　And　my　plump　little　Birdie　here　will　soon
have　a　million　too！　She　is　getting　prettier　and　plumper　not　only
every　day；　but　every　hour。　That　means　she　has　a　nice　little
fortune。

MARTHA。　Thank　you　very　much；　your　highness；　but　I　don't　like　such
jokes。

SHABELSKI。　My　dear　little　gold　mine；　do　you　call　that　a　joke？　It
was　a　wail　of　the　soul；　a　cry　from　the　heart；　that　burst　through
my　lips。　My　love　for　you　and　Zuzu　is　immense。　＇Gaily＇　Oh；
rapture！　Oh；　bliss！　I　cannot　look　at　you　two　without　a　madly
beating　heart！

ZINAIDA。　You　are　still　the　same；　Count。　＇To　GEORGE＇　Put　out　the
candles　please；　George。　＇GEORGE　gives　a　start。　He　puts　out　the
candles　and　sits　down　again＇　How　is　your　wife；　Nicholas？

IVANOFF。　She　is　very　ill。　The　doctor　said　to…day　that　she
certainly　had　consumption。

ZINAIDA。　Really？　Oh；　how　sad！　＇She　sighs＇　And　we　are　all　so　fond
of　her！

SHABELSKI。　What　trash　you　all　talk！　That　story　was　invented　by
that　sham　doctor；　and　is　nothing　but　a　trick　of　his。　He　wants　to
masquerade　as　an　Aesculapius；　and　so　has　started　this　consumption
theory。　Fortunately　her　husband　isn't　jealous。　＇IVANOFF　makes　an
inpatient　gesture＇　As　for　Sarah；　I　wouldn't　trust　a　word　or　an
action　of　hers。　I　have　made　a　point　all　my　life　of　mistrusting
all　doctors；　lawyers；　and　women。　They　are　shammers　and　deceivers。

LEBEDIEFF。　＇To　SHABELSKI＇　You　are　an　extraordinary　person；
Matthew！　You　have　mounted　this　misanthropic　hobby　of　yours；　and
you　ride　it　through　thick　and　thin　like　a　lunatic　You　are　a　man
like　any　other；　and　yet；　from　the　way　you　talk　one　would　imagine
that　you　had　the　pip；　or　a　cold　in　the　head。

SHABELSKI。　Would　you　have　me　go　about　kissing　every　rascal　and
scoundrel　I　meet？

LEBEDIEFF。　Where　do　you　find　all　these　rascals　and　scoundrels？

SHABELSKI。　Of　course　I　am　not　talking　of　any　one　here　present；
nevertheless

LEBEDIEFF。　There　you　are　again　with　your　〃nevertheless。〃　All　this
is　simply　a　fancy　of　yours。

SHABELSKI。　A　fancy？　It　is　lucky　for　you　that　you　have　no
knowledge　of　the　world！

LEBEDIEFF。　My　knowledge　of　the　world　is　this：　I　must　sit　here
prepared　at　any　moment　to　have　death　come　knocking　at　the　door。
That　is　my　knowledge　of　the　world。　At　our　age；　brother；　you　and　I
can't　afford　to　worry　about　knowledge　of　the　world。　So　then　＇He
calls＇　Oh；　Gabriel！

SHABELSKI。　You　have　had　quite　enough　already。　Look　at　your　nose。

LEBEDIEFF。　No　matter；　old　boy。　I　am　not　going　to　be　married
to…day。

ZINAIDA。　Doctor　Lvoff　has　not　been　here　for　a　long　time。　He　seems
to　have　forgotten　us。

SASHA。　That　man　is　one　of　my　aversions。　I　can't　stand　his　icy
sense　of　honour。　He　can't　ask　for　a　glass　of　water　or　smoke　a
cigarette　without　making　a　display　of　his　remarkable　honesty。
Walking　and　talking；　it　is　written　on　his　brow：　〃I　am　an　honest
man。〃　He　is　a　great　bore。

SHABELSKI。　He　is　a　narrow…minded；　conceited　medico。　＇Angrily＇　He
shrieks　like　a　parrot　at　every　step：　〃Make　way　for　honest
endeavour！〃　and　thinks　himself　another　St。　Francis。　Everybody　is
a　rascal　who　doesn't　make　as　much　noise　as　he　does。　As　for　his
penetration；　it　is　simply　remarkable！　If　a　peasant　is　well　off
and　lives　decently；　he　sees　at　once　that　he　must　be　a　thief　and　a
scoundrel。　If　I　wear　a　velvet　coat　and　am　dressed　by　my　valet；　I
am　a　rascal　and　the　valet　is　my　slave。　There　is　no　place　in　this
world　for　a　man　like　him。　I　am　actually　afraid　of　him。　Yes；
indeed；　he　is　likely；　out　of　a　sense　of　duty；　to　insult　a　man　at
any　moment　and　to　call　him　a　knave。

IVANOFF。　I　am　dreadfully　tired　of　him；　but　I　can't　help　liking
him；　too；　he　is　so　sincere。

SHABELSKI。　Oh；　yes；　his　sincerity　is　beautiful！　He　came　up　to　me
yesterday　evening　and　remarked　absolutely　apropos　of　nothing：
〃Count；　I　have　a　deep　aversion　to　you！〃　It　isn't　as　if　he　said
such　things　simply；　but　they　are　extremely　pointed。　His　voice
trembles；　his　eyes　flash；　his　veins　swell。　Confound　his　infernal
honesty！　Supposing　I　am　disgusting　and　odious　to　him？　What　is
more　natural？　I　know　that　I　am；　but　I　don't　like　to　be　told　so　to
my　face。　I　am　a　worthless　old　man；　but　he　might　have　the　decency
to　respect　my　grey　hairs。　Oh；　what　stupid；　heartless　honesty！

LEBEDIEFF。　Come；　come；　you　have　been　young　yourself；　and　should
make　allowances　for　him。

SHABELSKI。　Yes；　I　have　been　young　and　reckless；　I　have　played　the
fool　in　my　day　and　have　seen　plenty　of　knaves　and　scamps；　but　I
have　never　called　a　thief　a　thief　to　his　face；　or　talked　of　ropes
in　the　house　of　a　man　who　had　been　hung。　I　knew　how　to　behave；
but　this　idiotic　doctor　of　yours　would　think　himself　in　the
seventh　heaven　of　happiness　if　fate　would　allow　him　to　pull　my
nose　in　public　in　the　name　of　morality　and　human　ideals。

LEBEDIEFF。　Young　men　are　all　stubborn　and　restive。　I　had　an　uncle
once　who　thought　himself　a　philosopher。　He　would　fill　his　house
with　guests；　and　after　he　had　had　a　drink　he　would　get　up　on　a
chair；　like　this；　and　begin：　〃You　ignoramuses！　You　powers　of
darkness！　This　is　the　dawn　of　a　new　life！〃　And　so　on　and　so　on；
he　would　preach　and　preach…

SASHA。　And　the　guests？

LEBEDIEFF。　They　would　just　sit　and　listen　and　go　on　drinking。
Once；　though；　I　challenged　him　to　a　duel；　challenged　my　own
uncle！　It　came　out　of　a　discussion　about　Sir　Francis　Bacon。　I　was
sitting；　I　remember；　where　Matthew　is；　and　my　uncle　and　the　late
Gerasim　Nilitch　were　standing　over　there；　about　where　Nicholas　is
now。　Well；　Gerasim　Nilitch　propounded　this　question…

Enter　BORKIN。　He　is　dressed　like　a　dandy　and　carries　a　parcel
under　his　arm。　He　comes　in　singing　and　skipping　through　the　door
on　the　right。　A　murmur　of　approval　is　heard。

THE　GIRLS。　Oh；　Michael　Borkin！

LEBEDIEFF。　Hallo；　Misha！

SHABELSKI。　The　soul　of　the　company！

BORKIN。　Here　we　are！　＇He　runs　up　to　SASHA＇　Most　noble　Signorina；
let　me　be　so　bold　as　to　wish　to　the　whole　world　many　happy
returns　of　the　birthday　of　such　an　exquisite　flower　as　you！　As　a
token　of　my　enthusiasm　let　me　presume　to　present　you　with　these
fireworks　and　this　Bengal　fire　of　my　own　manufacture。　＇He　hands
her　the　parcel＇　May　they　illuminate　the　night　as　brightly　as　you
illuminate　the　shadows　of　this　dark　world。　＇He　spreads　them　out
theatrically　before　her。＇

SASHA。　Thank　you。

LEBEDIEFF。　＇Laughing　loudly；　to　IVANOFF＇　Why　don't　you　send　this
Judas　packing？

BORKIN。　＇To　LEBEDIEFF＇　My　compliments　to　you；　sir。　＇To　IVANOFF＇
How　are　you；　my　patron？　＇Sings＇　Nicholas　voila；　hey　ho　hey！　＇He
greets　everybody　in　turn＇　Most　highly　honoured　Zinaida！　Oh；
glorious　Martha！　Most　ancient　Avdotia！　Noblest　of　Counts！

SHABELSKI。　＇Laughing＇　The　life　of　the　company！　The　moment　he
comes　in　the　air　fe　els　livelier。　Have　you　noticed　it？

BORKIN。　Whew！　I　am　tired！　I　believe　I　have　shaken　hands　with
everybody。　Well；　ladies　and　gentlemen；　haven't　you　some　little
tidbit　to　tell　me；　something　spicy？　＇Speaking　quickly　to　ZINAIDA＇
Oh；　aunty！　I　have　something　to　tell　you。　As　I　was　on　my　way
here　＇To　GABRIEL＇　Some　tea；　please　Gabriel；　but　without　jamas
I　was　on　my　way　here　I　saw　some　peasants　down　on　the　river…bank
pulling　the　bark　off　the　trees。　Why　don't　you　lease　that　meadow？

LEBEDIEFF。　＇To　IVANOFF＇　Why　don't　you　send　that　Judas　away？

ZINAIDA。　＇Startled＇　Why；　that　is　quite　true！　I　never　thought　of
it。

BORKIN。　＇Swinging　his　arms＇　I　can't　sit　still！　What　tricks　shall
we　be　up　to　next；　aunty？　I　am　all　on　edge；　Martha；　absolutely
exalted。　＇He　sings＇

　　　〃Once　more　I　stand　before　thee！〃

ZINAIDA。　Think　of　something　to　amuse　us；　Misha；　we　are　all　bored。

BORKIN。　Yes；　you　look　so。　What　is　the　matter　with　you　all？　Why
are　you　sitting　there　as　solemn　as　a　jury？　Come；　let　us　play
something；　what　shall　it　be？　Forfeits？　Hide…and…seek？　Tag？　Shall
we　dance；　or　have　the　fireworks？

THE　GIRLS。　＇Clapping　their　hands＇　The　fireworks！　The　fireworks！
＇They　run　into　the　garden。＇

SASHA。　＇　To　IVANOFF＇　What　makes　you　so　depressed　today？

IVANOFF。　My　head　aches；　little　Sasha；　and　then　I　feel　bored。

SASHA。　Come　into　the　sitting…room　with　me。

They　go　out　through　the　door　on　the　right。　All　the　guests　go　into
the　garden　and　ZINAIDA　and　LEBEDIEFF　are　left　alone。

ZINAIDA。　That　is　what　I　like　to　see！　A　young　man　like　Misha　comes
into　the　room　and　in　a　minute　he　has　everybody　laughing。　＇She
puts　out　the　large　lamp＇　There　is　no　reason　the　candles　should
burn　for　nothing　so　long　as　they　are　all　in　the　garden。　＇She
blows　out　the　candles。＇

LEBEDIEFF。　＇Following　her＇　We　really　ought　to　give　our　guests
something　to　eat；　Zuzu！

ZINAIDA。　What　crowds　of　candles；　no　wonder　we　are　thought　rich。

LEBEDIEFF。　＇Still　following　her＇　Do　let　them　have　something　to
eat；　Zuzu；　they　are　young　and　must　be　hungry　by　now；　poor
thingsZuzu！

ZINAIDA。　The　Count　did　not　finish　his　tea；　and　all　that　sugar　has
been　wasted。　＇Goes　out　through　the　door　on　the　left。＇

LEBEDIEFF。　Bah！　＇Goes　out　into　the　garden。＇

Enter　IVANOFF　and　SASHA　through　the　door　on　the　right。

IVANOFF。　This　is　how　it　is；　Sasha：　I　used　to　work　hard　and　think
hard；　and　never　tire；　now；　I　neither　do　anything　nor　think
anything；　and　I　am　weary；　body　and　soul。　I　feel　I　am　terribly　to
blame；　my　conscience　leaves　me　no　peace　day　or　night；　and　yet　I
can't　see　clearly　exactly　what　my　mistakes　are。　And　now　comes　my
wife's　illness；　our　poverty；　this　eternal　backbiting；　gossiping；
chattering；　that　foolish　BorkinMy　home　has　become　unendurable
to　me；　and　to　live　there　is　worse　than　torture。　Frankly；　Sasha；
the　presence　of　my　wife；　who　loves　me；　has　become　unbearable。　You
are　an　old　friend；　little　Sasha；　you　will　not　be　angry　with　me
for　speaking　so　openly。　I　came　to　you　to　be　cheered；　but　I　am
bored　here　too；　something　urges　me　home　again。　Forgive　me；　I
shall　slip　away　at　once。

SASHA。　I　can　understand　your　trouble；　Nicholas。　You　are　unhappy
because　you　are　lonely。　You　need　some　one　at　your　side　whom　you
can　love；　someone　who　understands　you。

IVANOFF。　What　an　idea；　Sasha！　Fancy　a　crusty　old　badger　like
myself　starting　a　love　affair！　Heaven　preserve　me　from　such
misfortune！　No；　my　little　sage；　this　is　not　a　case　for　romance。
The　fact　is；　I　can　endure　all　I　have　to　suffer：　sadness；　sickness
of　mind；　ruin；　the　loss　of　my　wife；　and　my　lonely；　broken　old
age；　but　I　cannot；　I　will　not；　endure　the　contempt　I　have　for
myself！　I　am　nearly　killed　by　shame　when　I　think　that　a　strong；
healthy　man　like　myself　has　becomeoh；　heaven　only　knows
whatby　no　means　a　Manfred　or　a　Hamlet！　There　are　some
unfortunates　who　feel　flattered　when　people　call　them　Hamlets　and
cynics；　but　to　me　it　is　an　insult。　It　wounds　my　pride　and　I　am
tortured　by　shame　and　suffer　agony。

SASHA。　＇Laughing　through　her　tears＇　Nicholas；　let　us　run　away　to
America　together！

IVANOFF。　I　haven't　the　energy　to　take　such　a　step　a