ivanoff-第7章

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too？

SHABELSKI。　Borkin　here　is　quite　in　earnest　about　it；　the　clever
fellow　is　sure　I　shall　obey　orders；　and　marry　Martha。

BORKIN。　What　do　you　mean？　Aren't　you　sure　yourself？

SHABELSKI。　Are　you　mad？　I　never　was　sure　of　anything。　Bah！

BORKIN。　Many　thanks！　I　am　much　obliged　to　you　for　the
information。　So　you　are　trying　to　fool　me；　are　you？　First　you　say
you　will　marry　Martha　and　then　you　say　you　won't；　the　devil　only
knows　which　you　really　mean；　but　I　have　given　her　my　word　of
honour　that　you　will。　So　you　have　changed　your　mind；　have　you？

SHABELSKI。　He　is　actually　in　earnest；　what　an　extraordinary　man！

BORKIN。　＇losing　his　temper＇　If　that　is　how　you　feel　about　it；　why
have　you　turned　an　honest　woman's　head？　Her　heart　is　set　on　your
title；　and　she　can　neither　eat　nor　sleep　for　thinking　of　it。　How
can　you　make　a　jest　of　such　things？　Do　you　think　such　behaviour
is　honourable？

SHABELSKI。　＇Snapping　his　fingers＇　Well；　why　not　play　her　this
shabby　trick；　after　all？　Eh？　Just　out　of　spite？　I　shall　certainly
do　it；　upon　my　word　I　shall！　What　a　joke　it　will　be！

Enter　LVOFF。

LEBEDIEFF。　We　bow　before　you；　Aesculapius！　＇He　shakes　hands　with
LVOFF　and　sings＇

　　　〃Doctor；　doctor；　save；　oh；　save　me；
　　　　I　am　scared　to　death　of　dying！〃

LVOFF。　Hasn't　Ivanoff　come　home　yet？

LEBEDIEFF。　Not　yet。　I　have　been　waiting　for　him　myself　for　over
an　hour。

LVOFF　walks　impatiently　up　and　down。

LEBEDIEFF。　How　is　Anna　to…day？

LVO　FF。　Very　ill。

LEBEDIEFF。　＇Sighing＇　May　one　go　and　pay　one's　respects　to　her？

LVOFF。　No；　please　don't。　She　is　asleep；　I　believe。

LEBEDIEFF。　She　is　a　lovely；　charming　woman。　＇Sighing＇　The　day　she
fainted　at　our　house；　on　Sasha's　birthday；　I　saw　that　she　had　not
much　longer　to　live；　poor　thing。　Let　me　see；　why　did　she　faint？
When　I　ran　up；　she　was　lying　on　the　floor；　ashy　white；　with
Nicholas　on　his　knees　beside　her；　and　Sasha　was　standing　by　them
in　tears。　Sasha　and　I　went　about　almost　crazy　for　a　week　after
that。

SHABELSKI。　＇To　LVOFF＇　Tell　me；　most　honoured　disciple　of　science；
what　scholar　discovered　that　the　frequent　visits　of　a　young
doctor　were　beneficial　to　ladies　suffering　from　affections　of　the
chest？　It　is　a　remarkable　discovery；　remarkable！　Would　you　call
such　treatment　Allopathic　or　Homeopathic？

LVOFF　tries　to　answer；　but　makes　an　impatient　gesture　instead；
and　walks　out　of　the　room。

SHABELSKI。　What　a　withering　look　he　gave　me！

LEBEDIEFF。　Some　fiend　must　prompt　you　to　say　such　things！　Why　did
you　offend　him？

SHABELSKI。　＇Angrily＇　Why　does　he　tell　such　lies？　Consumption！　No
hope！　She　is　dying！　It　is　nonsense；　I　can't　abide　him！

LEBEDIEFF。　What　makes　you　think　he　is　lying？

SHABELSKI。　＇Gets　up　and　walks　up　and　down＇　I　can't　bear　to　think
that　a　living　person　could　die　like　that；　suddenly；　without　any
reason　at　all。　Don't　let　us　talk　about　it！

KOSICH　runs　in　panting。

KOSICH。　Is　Ivanoff　at　home？　How　do　you　do？　＇He　shakes　hands
quickly　all　round＇　Is　he　at　home？

BORKIN。　No；　he　isn't。

KOSICH。　＇Sits　down　and　jumps　up　again＇　In　that　case　I　must　say
goodbye；　I　must　be　going。　Business；　you　know。　I　am　absolutely
exhausted；　run　off　my　feet！

LEBEDIEFF。　Where　did　you　blow　in　from？

KOSICH。　From　Barabanoff's。　He　and　I　have　been　playing　cards　all
night；　we　have　only　just　stopped。　I　have　been　absolutely　fleeced；
that　Barabanoff　is　a　demon　at　cards。　＇In　a　tearful　voice＇　Just
listen　to　this：　I　had　a　heart　and　he　＇He　turns　to　BORKIN；　who
jumps　away　from　him＇　led　a　diamond；　and　I　led　a　heart；　and　he　led
another　diamond。　Well；　he　didn't　take　the　trick。　＇To　LEBEDIEFF＇
We　were　playing　three　in　clubs。　I　had　the　ace　and　queen；　and　the
ace　and　ten　of　spades

LEBEDIEFF。　＇Stopping　up　his　ears＇　Spare　me；　for　heaven's　sake；
spare　me！

KOSICH。　＇To　SHABELSKI＇　Do　you　understand？　I　had　the　ace　and　queen
of　clubs；　the　ace　and　ten　of　spades

SHABELSKI。　＇Pushes　him　away＇　Go　away；　I　don't　want　to　listen　to
you！

KOSICH。　When　suddenly　misfortune　overtook　me。　My　ace　of　spades
took　the　first　trick

SHABELSKI。　＇Snatching　up　a　revolver＇　Leave　the　room；　or　I　shall
shoot！

KOSICH。　＇Waving　his　hands＇　What　does　this　mean？　Is　this　the
Australian　bush；　where　no　one　has　any　interests　in　common？　Where
there　is　no　public　spirit；　and　each　man　lives　for　himself　alone？
However；　I　must　be　off。　My　time　is　precious。　＇He　shakes　hands
with　LEBEDIEFF＇　Pass！

General　laughter。　KOSICH　goes　out。　In　the　doorway　he　runs　into
AVDOTIA。

AVDOTIA。　＇Shrieks＇　Bad　luck　to　you；　you　nearly　knocked　me　down。

ALL。　Oh；　she　is　always　everywhere　at　once！

AVDOTIA。　So　this　is　where　you　all　are？　I　have　been　looking　for
you　all　over　the　house。　Good…day　to　you；　boys！

＇She　shakes　hands　with　everybody。＇

LEBEDIEFF。　What　brings　you　here？

AVDOTIA。　Business；　my　son。　＇To　SHABELSKI＇　Business　connected　with
your　highness。　She　commanded　me　to　bow。　＇She　bows＇　And　to　inquire
after　your　health。　She　told　me　to　say；　the　little　birdie；　that　if
you　did　not　come　to　see　her　this　evening　she　would　cry　her　eyes
out。　Take　him　aside；　she　said；　and　whisper　in　his　ear。　But　why
should　I　make　a　secret　of　her　message？　We　are　not　stealing
chickens；　but　arranging　an　affair　of　lawful　love　by　mutual
consent　of　both　parties。　And　now；　although　I　never　drink；　I　shall
take　a　drop　under　these　circumstances。

LEBEDIEFF。　So　shall　I。　＇He　pours　out　the　vodka＇　You　must　be
immortal；　you　old　magpie！　You　were　an　old　woman　when　I　first　knew
you；　thirty　years　ago。

AVDOTIA。　I　have　lost　count　of　the　years。　I　have　buried　three
husbands；　and　would　have　married　a　fourth　if　any　one　had　wanted　a
woman　without　a　dowry。　I　have　had　eight　children。　＇She　takes　up
the　glass＇　Well；　we　have　begun　a　good　work；　may　it　come　to　a　good
end！　They　will　live　happily　ever　after；　and　we　shall　enjoy　their
happiness。　Love　and　good　luck　to　them　both！　＇She　drinks＇　This　is
strong　vodka！

SHABELSKI。　＇laughing　loudly；　to　LEBEDIEFF＇　The　funny　thing　is；
they　actually　think　I　am　in　earnest。　How　strange！　＇He　gets　up＇
And　yet；　Paul；　why　shouldn't　I　play　her　this　shabby　trick？　Just
out　of　spite？　To　give　the　devil　something　to　do；　eh；　Paul？

LEBEDIEFF。　You　are　talking　nonsense；　Count。　You　and　I　must　fix
our　thoughts　on　dying　now；　we　have　left　Martha's　money　far　behind
us；　our　day　is　over。

SHABELSKI。　No；　I　shall　certainly　marry　her；　upon　my　word；　I
shall！

Enter　IVANOFF　and　LVOFF。

LVOFF。　Will　you　please　spare　me　five　minutes　of　your　time？

LEBEDIEFF。　Hallo；　Nicholas！　＇He　goes　to　meet　IVANOFF＇　How　are
you；　old　friend？　I　have　been　waiting　an　hour　for　you。

AVDOTIA。　＇Bows＇　How　do　you　do；　my　son？

IVANOFF。　＇Bitterly＇　So　you　have　turned　my　library　into　a　bar…room
again；　have　you？　And　yet　I　have　begged　you　all　a　thousand　times
not　to　do　so！　＇He　goes　up　to　the　table＇　There；　you　see；　you　have
spilt　vodka　all　over　my　papers　and　scattered　crumbs　and　cucumbers
everywhere！　It　is　disgusting！

LEBEDIEFF。　I　beg　your　pardon；　Nicholas。　Please　forgive　me。　I　have
something　very　important　to　speak　to　you　about。

BORKIN。　So　have　I。

LVOFF。　May　I　have　a　word　with　you？

IVANOFF。　＇Pointing　to　LEBEDIEFF＇　He　wants　to　speak　to　me；　wait　a
minute。　＇To　LEBEDIEFF＇　Well；　what　is　it？

LEBEDIEFF。　＇To　the　others＇　Excuse　me；　ladies　and　gentlemen；　I
want　to　speak　to　him　in　private。

SHABELSKI　goes　out；　followed　by　AVDOTIA；　BORKIN；　and　LVOFF。

IVANOFF。　Paul；　you　may　drink　yourself　as　much　as　you　choose；　it
is　your　weakness；　but　I　must　ask　you　not　to　make　my　uncle　tipsy。
He　never　used　to　drink　at　all；　it　is　bad　for　him。

LEBEDIEFF。　＇Startled＇　My　dear　boy；　I　didn't　know　that！　I　wasn't
thinking　of　him　at　all。

IVANOFF。　If　this　old　baby　should　die　on　my　hands　the　blame　would
be　mine；　not　yours。　Now；　what　do　you　want？　＇A　pause。＇

LEBEDIEFF。　The　fact　is；　NicholasI　really　don't　know　how　I　can
put　it　to　make　it　seem　less　brutalNicholas；　I　am　ashamed　of
myself；　I　am　blushing；　my　tongue　sticks　to　the　roof　of　my　mouth。
My　dear　boy；　put　yourself　in　my　place；　remember　that　I　am　not　a
free　man；　I　am　as　putty　in　the　hands　of　my　wife；　a　slaveforgive
me！

IVANOFF。　What　does　this　mean？

LEBEDIEFF。　My　wife　has　sent　me　to　you；　do　me　a　favour；　be　a
friend　to　me；　pay　her　the　interest　on　the　money　you　owe　her。
Believe　me；　she　has　been　tormenting　me　and　going　for　me　tooth　and
nail。　For　heaven's　sake；　free　yourself　from　her　clutches！

IVANOFF。　You　know；　Paul；　that　I　have　no　money　now。

LEBEDIEFF。　I　know；　I　know；　but　what　can　I　do？　She　won't　wait。　If
she　should　sue　you　for　the　money；　how　could　Sasha　and　I　ever　look
you　in　the　face　again？

IVANOFF。　I　am　ready　to　sink　through　the　floor　with　shame；　Paul；
but　where；　where　shall　I　get　the　money？　Tell　me；　where？　There　is
nothing　I　can　do　but　to　wait　until　I　sell　my　wheat　in　the　autumn。

LEBEDIEFF。　＇Shrieks＇　But　she　won't　wait！　＇A　pause。＇

IVANOFF。　Your　position　is　very　delicate　and　unpleasant；　but　mine
is　even　worse。　＇He　walks　up　and　down　in　deep　thought＇　I　am　at　my
wit's　end；　there　is　nothing　I　can　sell　now。

LEBEDIEFF。　You　might　go　to　Mulbach　and　get　some　money　from　him；
doesn't　he　owe　you　sixty　thousand　roubles？

IVANOFF　makes　a　despairing　gesture。

LEBEDIEFF。　Listen　to　me；　Nicholas；　I　know　you　will　be　angry；　but
you　must　forgive　an　old　drunkard　like　me。　This　is　between
friends；　remember　I　am　your　friend。　We　were　students　together；
both　Liberals；　we　had　the　same　interests　and　ideals；　we　studied
together　at　the　University　of　Moscow。　It　is　our　Alma　Mater。　＇He
takes　out　his　purse＇　I　have　a　private　fund　here；　not　a　soul　at
home　knows　of　its　existence。　Let　me　lend　it　to　you。　＇He　takes　out
the　money　and　lays　it　on　the　table＇　Forget　your　pride；　this　is
between　friends！　I　should　take　it　from　you；　indeed　I　should！　＇A
pause＇　There　is　the　money；　one　hundred　thousand　roubles。　Take　
it；
go　to　her　y　ourself　and　say：　〃Take　the　money；　Zinaida；　and　may
you　choke　on　it。〃　Only；　for　heaven's　sake；　don't　let　her　see　by
your　manner　that　you　got　it　from　me；　or　she　would　certainly　go
for　me；　with　her　old　jam！　＇He　looks　intently　into　IVANOFF'S　face＇
There；　there；　no　matter。　＇He　quickly　takes　up　the　money　and
stuffs　it　back　into　his　pocket＇　Don't　take　it；　I　was　only　joking。
Forgive　me！　Are　you　hurt？

IVANOFF　waves　his　hand。

LEBEDIEFF。　Yes；　the　truth　is　＇He　sighs＇　This　is　a　time　of
sorrow　and　pain　for　you。　A　man；　brother；　is　like　a　samovar；　he
cannot　always　stand　coolly　on　a　shelf；　hot　coals　will　be　dropped
into　him　some　day；　and　thenfizz！　The　comparison　is　idiotic；　but
it　is　the　best　I　can　think　of。　＇Sighing＇　Misfortunes　wring　the
soul；　and　yet　I　am　not　worried　about　you；　brother。　Wheat　goes
through　the　mill；　and　comes　out　as　flour；　and　you　will　come
safely　through　your　troubles；　but　I　am　annoyed；　Nicholas；　and
angry　with　the　people　around　you。　The　whole　countryside　is
buzzing　with　gossip；　where　does　it　all　start？　They　say　you　will
be　soon　arrested　for　your　debts；　that　you　are　a　bloodthirsty
murderer；　a　monster　of　cruelty；　a　robber。

IVANOFF。　All　that　is　nothing　to　me；　my　head　is　aching。

LEBEDIEFF。　Because　you　think　so　much。

IVANOFF。　I　never　think。

LEBEDIEFF。　Come；　Nicholas；　snap　your　fingers　at　the　whole　thing；
and　drive　over　to　visit　us。　Sasha　loves　and　understands　you。　She
is　a　sweet；　honest；　lovely　girl；　too　good　to　be　the　child　of　her