the darrow enigma(达罗之迷)-第46章
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tell us both that she should keep her covenant with her father though it
meant for her a fate worse than death？ And you would have me profit by
her sacrifice？ For shame！ Love may wither my heart till it rustles in my
breast like a dried leaf； but I will never； never let her know how I love her。
And see here； Doc； promise me that you will not tell her I love her … nay；
I insist on it。〃
Thus importuned I said； though it went much against the grain； for that
was the very thing I had intended； 〃She shall not learn it first through me。〃
This seemed to satisfy him； for he said no more upon the subject。 When
I went back to Gwen I was in no better frame of mind than when I left her。
Here were two people so determined to be miserable in spite of everything
and everybody that I sought Jeannette by way of counter…irritant for my
wounded sympathy。
Ah； Jeannette！ Jeannette！ to this day the sound of your sweet name
is like a flash of colour to the eye。 You were a bachelor's first and last
love； and he will never forget you。
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CHAPTER V
All human things cease … some end。 Happy are they who can
spring the hard and brittle bar of experience into a bow of promise。
For such； there shall ever more be an orderly gravitation。
My next call on Maitland was professional。 I found him abed and in
a critical condition。 I blamed myself severely that I had allowed other
duties to keep me so long away； and had him at once removed to the house；
where I might； by constant attendance in the future； atone for my
negligence in the past。 Despite all our efforts； however； Maitland
steadily grew worse。 Gwen watched by him night and day until I was
finally obliged to insist； on account of her own health； that she should
leave the sick room long enough to take the rest she so needed。 Indeed； I
feared lest I should soon have two invalids upon my hands； but Gwen
yielded her place to Jeannette and Alice during the nights and soon began
to show the good effects of sleep。
I should have told you that； during all this time； Jeannette was staying
with us as a guest。 I had convinced her father that it was best she should
remain with us until the unpleasant notoriety caused by his arrest had； in a
measure； subsided。 Then； too； I told him with a frankness warranted； I
thought； by circumstances that he could not hope to live many weeks
longer； and that every effort should be made to make the blow his death
would deal Jeannette as light as possible。 At this he almost lost his self…
control。 〃What will become of my child when I am gone？〃 he moaned。
〃I shall leave her penniless and without any means of support。〃
〃My dear Mr。 Latour；〃 I replied； 〃you need give yourself no uneasiness
on that score。 I will give you my word； as a man of honour； that so long
as Miss Darrow and I live we will see that your daughter wants for none of
the necessities of life； … unless she shall find someone who shall have a
better right than either of us to care for her。〃 This promise acted like
magic upon him。 He showered his blessings upon me； exclaiming；
〃You have lifted a great load from my heart； and I can now die in peace！〃
And so； indeed； he did。 In less than a week he was dead。 I had
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prepared Jeannette for the shock and so had her father； but； for all this； her
grief was intense； for she loved her father with a strength of love few
children give their parents。 In time； however； her grief grew less insistent
and she began to gain something of her old buoyancy。
In the meantime； Maitland's life seemed to hang by a single thread。 It
was the very worst case of nervous prostration I have ever been called to
combat； and for weeks we had to be contented if we enabled him to hold
his own。 During all this time Gwen watched both Maitland and myself
with a closeness that suffered nothing to escape her。 I think she knew the
changes in his condition better even than I did。
And now I am to relate a most singular action on Gwen's part。 I
doubt not most of her own sex would have considered it very unfeminine；
but anyone who saw it all as I did could not； I think； fail to appreciate the
nobility of womanhood which made it possible。 Gwen was not dominated
by those characteristics usually epitomised in the epithet 'lady。' She was
a woman； and she possessed； in a remarkable degree； that fineness of fibre；
that solidity of character； and that largeness of soul which rise above the
petty conventionalities of life into the broad realm of the real verities of
existence。
It occurred on the afternoon of the first day that Maitland showed the
slightest improvement。 I remember distinctly how he had fallen into a
troubled sleep from which he would occasionally cry out in a half…
articulate manner； and how Gwen and I sat beside him waiting for him to
awaken。 Suddenly he said something in his sleep that riveted our
attention。 〃I tell you； Doc；〃 he muttered； 〃though love of her burn my
heart to a cinder； I will never trade upon her gratitude； nor seek to profit by
the promise she made her father。 Never； so help me God！〃
Gwen gave me one hurried； sweeping glance and then； throwing
herself upon the sofa； buried her face in the cushions。 I forbore to disturb
her till I saw that Maitland was waking； when I laid my hand upon her
head and asked her to dry her eyes lest he should notice her tears。
〃May I speak to him？〃 she said； with a look of resolution upon her
face。 I could not divine her thoughts； as she smiled at me through her
tears； but I had no hesitancy in relying upon her judgment； so I gave her
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permission and started to leave the room。
〃Please don't go；〃 she said to me。 〃I would prefer you should hear
what I have to say。〃 I=20reseated myself and Gwen drew near the
bedside。 Maitland was now awake and following her every motion。
〃I have something I want to say to you；〃 she said； bending over him。
〃Do you feel strong enough to listen？〃 He nodded his head and she
continued。 〃You have already done a great deal for me； yet I come to you
now to ask a further favour； … I will not say a sacrifice … greater than all the
rest。 Will you try to grant it？〃
The rich； deep tones of her voice； vibrant with tender earnestness；
seemed to me irresistible。
〃I will do anything in my power；〃 the invalid replied； never once
moving his eyes from hers。
〃Then Heaven grant it be within your power！〃 she murmured； scarcely
above a whisper。 〃Try not to despise me for what I am about to say。 Be
lenient in your judgment。 My happiness； perhaps my very life； depends
upon this issue。 I love you more than life； try to love me； if only a little！〃
I watched the effect of this declaration with a good deal of anxiety。 For
fully half a minute Maitland seemed to doubt the evidence of his senses。
I saw him pinch himself to see if he were awake； and being thus reassured；
he said slowly： 〃Try … to … love … … you！ In vain have I tried not to love
you from the moment I first saw you。 Oh； my God！ how I adore you！〃
He reached his arms out toward her； and； in a moment； they were locked in
each other's embrace。
I saw the first kiss given and then stole stealthily from the room。 There
was now no need of a doctor。 The weird； irresistible alchemy of love was
at work and the reign of medicine was over。 I did not wish to dim the
newly found light by my shadow； and； … well； … I wanted to see Jeannette；
so I left。
I need not tell you； even though you are a bachelor； how fast Maitland
improved。 Gwen would permit no one else to nurse him； and this had
much to do with the rapidity of his recovery。 In a month he was able to
go out； and in another month Gwen became Mrs。 Maitland。 A happier pair；
or one better suited to each other； it has never been my privilege to know。
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As I visited them in their new home I became more and more dissatisfied
with bachelor existence； and there were times when I had half a mind to
go straight to Jeannette and ask her advice in the matter。 Ah； those days！
They will never come to me again。 Never again will a pink and white
angel knock so loudly at my heart； or be so warmly welcomed。 I wonder
where she is and if she is thinking of me。
And now I may as well stop； for my narrative is over； and I hear
someone coming along the hail； doubtless after me。 It is only Harold； so
I may add a word or two more。 I am writing now with difficulty； for
some frolicsome individual has placed a hand over my eyes and says；
〃Guess。〃 I can just see to write between the fingers。 Again I am
commanded； 〃 Guess！〃 so I say carelessly； 〃Alice。〃 Then； would you
believe it； someone kisses me and says： 〃Will you ever have done with
that writing？ The children wish me to inform you that they have some
small claim upon your time。〃 You see how it is。 I've got to stop； so I
say； as becomes an obedient gentleman： 〃Very well； I will quit upon one
condition。 I have been wondering where on earth you were。
