first epilogue-第4章

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He　felt　that　the　more　he　valued　her　the　less　he　loved　her。　He　had

taken　her　at　her　word　when　she　wrote　giving　him　his　freedom　and　now

behaved　as　if　all　that　had　passed　between　them　had　been　long　forgotten

and　could　never　in　any　case　be　renewed。

　　Nicholas'　position　became　worse　and　worse。　The　idea　of　putting

something　aside　out　of　his　salary　proved　a　dream。　Not　only　did　he

not　save　anything；　but　to　comply　with　his　mother's　demands　he　even

incurred　some　small　debts。　He　could　see　no　way　out　of　this

situation。　The　idea　of　marrying　some　rich　woman；　which　was　suggested

to　him　by　his　female　relations；　was　repugnant　to　him。　The　other　way

out…　his　mother's　death…　never　entered　his　head。　He　wished　for　nothing

and　hoped　for　nothing；　and　deep　in　his　heart　experienced　a　gloomy

and　stern　satisfaction　in　an　uncomplaining　endurance　of　his

position。　He　tried　to　avoid　his　old　acquaintances　with　their

commiseration　and　offensive　offers　of　assistance；　he　avoided　all

distraction　and　recreation；　and　even　at　home　did　nothing　but　play

cards　with　his　mother；　pace　silently　up　and　down　the　room；　and　smoke

one　pipe　after　another。　He　seemed　carefully　to　cherish　within

himself　the　gloomy　mood　which　alone　enabled　him　to　endure　his

position。

EP1｜CH6

　　CHAPTER　VI



　　At　the　beginning　of　winter　Princess　Mary　came　to　Moscow。　From

reports　current　in　town　she　learned　how　the　Rostovs　were　situated；　and

how　〃the　son　has　sacrificed　himself　for　his　mother；〃　as　people　were

saying。

　　〃I　never　expected　anything　else　of　him；〃　said　Princess　Mary　to

herself；　feeling　a　joyous　sense　of　her　love　for　him。　Remembering　her

friendly　relations　with　all　the　Rostovs　which　had　made　her　almost　a

member　of　the　family；　she　thought　it　her　duty　to　go　to　see　them。　But

remembering　her　relations　with　Nicholas　in　Voronezh　she　was　shy

about　doing　so。　Making　a　great　effort　she　did　however　go　to　call　on

them　a　few　weeks　after　her　arrival　in　Moscow。

　　Nicholas　was　the　first　to　meet　her；　as　the　countess'　room　could　only

be　reached　through　his。　But　instead　of　being　greeted　with　pleasure

as　she　had　expected；　at　his　first　glance　at　her　his　face　assumed　a

cold；　stiff；　proud　expression　she　had　not　seen　on　it　before。　He

inquired　about　her　health；　led　the　way　to　his　mother；　and　having　sat

there　for　five　minutes　left　the　room。

　　When　the　princess　came　out　of　the　countess'　room　Nicholas　met　her

again；　and　with　marked　solemnity　and　stiffness　accompanied　her　to

the　anteroom。　To　her　remarks　about　his　mother's　health　he　made　no

reply。　〃What's　that　to　you？　Leave　me　in　peace；〃　his　looks　seemed　to

say。

　　〃Why　does　she　come　prowling　here？　What　does　she　want？　I　can't　bear

these　ladies　and　all　these　civilities！〃　said　he　aloud　in　Sonya's

presence；　evidently　unable　to　repress　his　vexation；　after　the

princess'　carriage　had　disappeared。

　　〃Oh；　Nicholas；　how　can　you　talk　like　that？〃　cried　Sonya；　hardly　able

to　conceal　her　delight。　〃She　is　so　kind　and　Mamma　is　so　fond　of　her！〃

　　Nicholas　did　not　reply　and　tried　to　avoid　speaking　of　the　princess

any　more。　But　after　her　visit　the　old　countess　spoke　of　her　several

times　a　day。

　　She　sang　her　praises；　insisted　that　her　son　must　call　on　her；

expressed　a　wish　to　see　her　often；　but　yet　always　became　ill…humored

when　she　began　to　talk　about　her。

　　Nicholas　tried　to　keep　silence　when　his　mother　spoke　of　the

princess；　but　his　silence　irritated　her。

　　〃She　is　a　very　admirable　and　excellent　young　woman；〃　said　she；

〃and　you　must　go　and　call　on　her。　You　would　at　least　be　seeing

somebody；　and　I　think　it　must　be　dull　for　you　only　seeing　us。〃

　　〃But　I　don't　in　the　least　want　to；　Mamma。〃

　　〃You　used　to　want　to；　and　now　you　don't。　Really　I　don't　understand

you；　my　dear。　One　day　you　are　dull；　and　the　next　you　refuse　to　see

anyone。〃

　　〃But　I　never　said　I　was　dull。〃

　　〃Why；　you　said　yourself　you　don't　want　even　to　see　her。　She　is　a

very　admirable　young　woman　and　you　always　liked　her；　but　now

suddenly　you　have　got　some　notion　or　other　in　your　head。　You　hide

everything　from　me。〃

　　〃Not　at　all；　Mamma。〃

　　〃If　I　were　asking　you　to　do　something　disagreeable　now…　but　I　only

ask　you　to　return　a　call。　One　would　think　mere　politeness　required

it。。。。　Well；　I　have　asked　you；　and　now　I　won't　interfere　any　more

since　you　have　secrets　from　your　mother。〃

　　〃Well；　then；　I'll　go　if　you　wish　it。〃

　　〃It　doesn't　matter　to　me。　I　only　wish　it　for　your　sake。〃

　　Nicholas　sighed；　bit　his　mustache；　and　laid　out　the　cards　for　a

patience；　trying　to　divert　his　mother's　attention　to　another　topic。

　　The　same　conversation　was　repeated　next　day　and　the　day　after；　and

the　day　after　that。

　　After　her　visit　to　the　Rostovs　and　her　unexpectedly　chilly　reception

by　Nicholas；　Princess　Mary　confessed　to　herself　that　she　had　been

right　in　not　wishing　to　be　the　first　to　call。

　　〃I　expected　nothing　else；〃　she　told　herself；　calling　her　pride　to

her　aid。　〃I　have　nothing　to　do　with　him　and　I　only　wanted　to　see　the

old　lady；　who　was　always　kind　to　me　and　to　whom　I　am　under　many

obligations。〃

　　But　she　could　not　pacify　herself　with　these　reflections；　a　feeling

akin　to　remorse　troubled　her　when　she　thought　of　her　visit。　Though　she

had　firmly　resolved　not　to　call　on　the　Rostovs　again　and　to　forget　the

whole　matter；　she　felt　herself　all　the　time　in　an　awkward　position。

And　when　she　asked　herself　what　distressed　her；　she　had　to　admit

that　it　was　her　relation　to　Rostov。　His　cold；　polite　manner　did　not

express　his　feeling　for　her　（she　knew　that）　but　it　concealed

something；　and　until　she　could　discover　what　that　something　was；　she

felt　that　she　could　not　be　at　ease。

　　One　day　in　midwinter　when　sitting　in　the　schoolroom　attending　to　her

nephew's　lessons；　she　was　informed　that　Rostov　had　called。　With　a　firm

resolution　not　to　betray　herself　and　not　show　her　agitation；　she

sent　for　Mademoiselle　Bourienne　and　went　with　her　to　the　drawing　room。

　　Her　first　glance　at　Nicholas'　face　told　her　that　he　had　only　come　to

fulfill　the　demands　of　politeness；　and　she　firmly　resolved　to　maintain

the　tone　in　which　he　addressed　her。

　　They　spoke　of　the　countess'　health；　of　their　mutual　friends；　of

the　latest　war　news；　and　when　the　ten　minutes　required　by　propriety

had　elapsed　after　which　a　visitor　may　rise；　Nicholas　got　up　to　say

good…by。

　　With　Mademoiselle　Bourienne's　help　the　princess　had　maintained　the

conversation　very　well；　but　at　the　very　last　moment；　just　when　he

rose；　she　was　so　tired　of　talking　of　what　did　not　interest　her；　and

her　mind　was　so　full　of　the　question　why　she　alone　was　granted　so

little　happiness　in　life；　that　in　a　fit　of　absent…mindedness　she　sat

still；　her　luminous　eyes　gazing　fixedly　before　her；　not　noticing

that　he　had　risen。

　　Nicholas　glanced　at　her　and；　wishing　to　appear　not　to　notice　her

abstraction；　made　some　remark　to　Mademoiselle　Bourienne　and　then　again

looked　at　the　princess。　She　still　sat　motionless　with　a　look　of

suffering　on　her　gentle　face。　He　suddenly　felt　sorry　for　her　and　was

vaguely　conscious　that　he　might　be　the　cause　of　the　sadness　her　face

expressed。　He　wished　to　help　her　and　say　something　pleasant；　but　could

think　of　nothing　to　say。

　　〃Good…by；　Princess！〃　said　he。

　　She　started；　flushed；　and　sighed　deeply。

　　〃Oh；　I　beg　your　pardon；〃　she　said　as　if　waking　up。　〃Are　you　going

already；　Count？　Well　then；　good…by！　Oh；　but　the　cushion　for　the

countess！〃

　　〃Wait　a　moment；　I'll　fetch　it；〃　said　Mademoiselle　Bourienne；　and　she

left　the　room。

　　They　both　sat　silent；　with　an　occasional　glance　at　one　another。

　　〃Yes；　Princess；〃　said　Nicholas　at　last　with　a　sad　smile；　〃it　doesn't

seem　long　ago　since　we　first　met　at　Bogucharovo；　but　how　much　water

has　flowed　since　then！　In　what　distress　we　all　seemed　to　be　then；

yet　I　would　give　much　to　bring　back　that　time。。。　but　there's　no

bringing　it　back。〃

　　Princess　Mary　gazed　intently　into　his　eyes　with　her　own　luminous

ones　as　he　said　this。　She　seemed　to　be　trying　to　fathom　the　hidden

meaning　of　his　words　which　would　explain　his　feeling　for　her。

　　〃Yes；　yes；〃　said　she；　〃but　you　have　no　reason　to　regret　the　past；

Count。　As　I　understand　your　present　life；　I　think　you　will　always

recall　it　with　satisfaction；　because　the　self…sacrifice　that　fills

it　now。。。〃

　　〃I　cannot　accept　your　praise；〃　he　interrupted　her　hurriedly。　〃On　the

contrary　I　continually　reproach　myself。。。。　But　this　is　not　at　all　an

interesting　or　cheerful　subject。〃

　　His　face　again　resumed　its　former　stiff　and　cold　expression。　But　the

princess　had　caught　a　glimpse　of　the　man　she　had　known　and　loved；

and　it　was　to　him　that　she　now　spoke。

　　〃I　thought　you　would　allow　me　to　tell　you　this；〃　she　said。　〃I　had

come　so　near　to　you。。。　and　to　all　your　family　that　I　thought　you　would

not　consider　my　sympathy　misplaced；　but　I　was　mistaken；〃　and

suddenly　her　voice　trembled。　〃I　don't　know　why；〃　she　continued；

recovering　herself；　〃but　you　used　to　be　different；　and。。。〃

　　〃There　are　a　thousand　reasons　why；〃　laying　special　emphasis　on　the

why。　〃Thank　you；　Princess；〃　he　added　softly。　〃Sometimes　it　is　hard。〃

　　〃So　that's　why！　That's　why！〃　a　voice　whispered　in　Princess　Mary's

soul。　〃No；　it　was　not　only　that　gay；　kind；　and　frank　look；　not　only

that　handsome　exterior；　that　I　loved　in　him。　I　divined　his　noble；

resolute；　self…sacrificing　spirit　too；〃　she　said　to　herself。　〃Yes；

he　is　poor　now　and　I　am　rich。。。。　Yes；　that's　the　only　reason。。。。

Yes；　were　it　not　for　that。。。〃　And　remembering　his　former　tenderness；

and　looking　now　at　his　kind；　sorrowful　face；　she　suddenly　understood

the　cause　of　his　coldness。

　　〃But　why；　Count；　why？〃　she　almost　cried；　unconsciously　moving　closer

to　him。　〃Why？　Tell　me。　You　must　tell　me！〃

　　He　was　silent。

　　〃I　don't　understand　your　why；　Count；〃　she　continued；　〃but　it's

hard　for　me。。。　I　confess　it。　For　some　reason　you　wish　to　deprive　me　of

our　former　friendship。　And　that　hurts　me。〃　There　were　tears　in　her

eyes　and　in　her　voice。　〃I　have　had　so　little　happiness　in　life　that

every　loss　is　hard　for　me　to　bear。。。。　Excuse　me；　good…by！〃　and

suddenly　she　began　to　cry　and　was　hurrying　from　the　room。

　　〃Princess；　for　God's　sake！〃　he　exclaimed；　trying　to　stop　her。

〃Princess！〃

　　She　turned　round。　For　a　few　seconds　they　gazed　silently　into　one

another's　eyes…　and　what　had　seemed　impossible　and　remote　suddenly

became　possible；　inevitable；　and　very　near。

EP1｜CH7

　　CHAPTER　VII



　　In　the　winter　of　1813　Nicholas　married　Princess　Mary　and　moved　to

Bald　Hills　with　his　wife；　his　mother；　and　Sonya。

　　Within　four　years　he　had　paid　off　all　his　remaining　debts　without

selling　any　of　his　wife's　property；　and　having　received　a　small

inheritance　on　the　death　of　a　cousin　he　paid　his　debt　to　Pierre　as

well。

　　In　another　three　years；　by　1820；　he　had　so　managed　his　affairs

that　he　was　able　to　buy　a　small　estate　adjoining　Bald　Hills　and　was

negotiating　to　buy　back　Otradnoe…　that　being　his　pet　dream。

　　Having　started　farming　from