first epilogue-第7章

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door　and　took　the　boy　back　to　the　nursery。　Five　minutes　later　little

black…eyed　three…year…old　Natasha；　her　father's　pet；　having　learned

from　her　brother　that　Papa　was　asleep　and　Mamma　was　in　the　sitting

room；　ran　to　her　father　unobserved　by　her　mother。　The　dark…eyed　little

girl　boldly　opened　the　creaking　door；　went　up　to　the　sofa　with

energetic　steps　of　her　sturdy　little　legs；　and　having　examined　the

position　of　her　father；　who　was　asleep　with　his　back　to　her；　rose　on

tiptoe　and　kissed　the　hand　which　lay　under　his　head。　Nicholas　turned

with　a　tender　smile　on　his　face。

　　〃Natasha；　Natasha！〃　came　Countess　Mary's　frightened　whisper　from　the

door。　〃Papa　wants　to　sleep。〃

　　〃No；　Mamma；　he　doesn't　want　to　sleep；〃　said　little　Natasha　with

conviction。　〃He's　laughing。〃

　　Nicholas　lowered　his　legs；　rose；　and　took　his　daughter　in　his　arms。

　　〃Come　in；　Mary；〃　he　said　to　his　wife。

　　She　went　in　and　sat　down　by　her　husband。

　　〃I　did　not　notice　him　following　me；〃　she　said　timidly。　〃I　just

looked　in。〃

　　Holding　his　little　girl　with　one　arm；　Nicholas　glanced　at　his　wife

and；　seeing　her　guilty　expression；　put　his　other　arm　around　her　and

kissed　her　hair。

　　〃May　I　kiss　Mamma？〃　he　asked　Natasha。

　　Natasha　smiled　bashfully。

　　〃Again！〃　she　commanded；　pointing　with　a　peremptory　gesture　to　the

spot　where　Nicholas　had　placed　the　kiss。

　　〃I　don't　know　why　you　think　I　am　cross；〃　said　Nicholas；　replying

to　the　question　he　knew　was　in　his　wife's　mind。

　　〃You　have　no　idea　how　unhappy；　how　lonely；　I　feel　when　you　are

like　that。　It　always　seems　to　me。。。　〃

　　〃Mary；　don't　talk　nonsense。　You　ought　to　be　ashamed　of　yourself！〃　he

said　gaily。

　　〃It　seems　to　be　that　you　can't　love　me；　that　I　am　so　plain。。。

always。。。　and　now。。。　in　this　cond。。。〃

　　〃Oh；　how　absurd　you　are！　It　is　not　beauty　that　endears；　it's　love

that　makes　us　see　beauty。　It　is　only　Malvinas　and　women　of　that　kind

who　are　loved　for　their　beauty。　But　do　I　love　my　wife？　I　don't　love

her；　but。。。　I　don't　know　how　to　put　it。　Without　you；　or　when　something

comes　between　us　like　this；　I　seem　lost　and　can't　do　anything。　Now

do　I　love　my　finger？　I　don't　love　it；　but　just　try　to　cut　it　off！

　　〃I'm　not　like　that　myself；　but　I　understand。　So　you're　not　angry

with　me？〃

　　〃Awfully　angry！〃　he　said；　smiling　and　getting　up。　And　smoothing

his　hair　he　began　to　pace　the　room。

　　〃Do　you　know；　Mary；　what　I've　been　thinking？〃　he　began；

immediately　thinking　aloud　in　his　wife's　presence　now　that　they　had

made　it　up。

　　He　did　not　ask　if　she　was　ready　to　listen　to　him。　He　did　not　care。　A

thought　had　occurred　to　him　and　so　it　belonged　to　her　also。　And　he

told　her　of　his　intention　to　persuade　Pierre　to　stay　with　them　till

spring。

　　Countess　Mary　listened　till　he　had　finished；　made　some　remark；　and

in　her　turn　began　thinking　aloud。　Her　thoughts　were　about　the

children。

　　〃You　can　see　the　woman　in　her　already；〃　she　said　in　French；　pointing

to　little　Natasha。　〃You　reproach　us　women　with　being　illogical。　Here

is　our　logic。　I　say：　'Papa　wants　to　sleep！'　but　she　says；　'No；　he's

laughing。'　And　she　was　right；〃　said　Countess　Mary　with　a　happy　smile。

　　〃Yes；　yes。〃　And　Nicholas；　taking　his　little　daughter　in　his　strong

hand；　lifted　her　high；　placed　her　on　his　shoulder；　held　her　by　the

legs；　and　paced　the　room　with　her。　There　was　an　expression　of　carefree

happiness　on　the　faces　of　both　father　and　daughter。

　　〃But　you　know　you　may　be　unfair。　You　are　too　fond　of　this　one；〃

his　wife　whispered　in　French。

　　〃Yes；　but　what　am　I　to　do？。。。　I　try　not　to　show。。。〃

　　At　that　moment　they　heard　the　sound　of　the　door　pulley　and　footsteps

in　the　hall　and　anteroom；　as　if　someone　had　arrived。

　　〃Somebody　has　come。〃

　　〃I　am　sure　it　is　Pierre。　I　will　go　and　see；〃　said　Countess　Mary

and　left　the　room。

　　In　her　absence　Nicholas　allowed　himself　to　give　his　little

daughter　a　gallop　round　the　room。　Out　of　breath；　he　took　the

laughing　child　quickly　from　his　shoulder　and　pressed　her　to　his　heart。

His　capers　reminded　him　of　dancing；　and　looking　at　the　child's　round

happy　little　face　he　thought　of　what　she　would　be　like　when　he　was

an　old　man；　taking　her　into　society　and　dancing　the　mazurka　with　her

as　his　old　father　had　danced　Daniel　Cooper　with　his　daughter。

　　〃It　is　he；　it　is　he；　Nicholas！〃　said　Countess　Mary；　re…entering

the　room　a　few　minutes　later。　〃Now　our　Natasha　has　come　to　life。　You

should　have　seen　her　ecstasy；　and　how　he　caught　it　for　having　stayed

away　so　long。　Well；　come　along　now；　quick；　quick！　It's　time　you　two

were　parted；〃　she　added；　looking　smilingly　at　the　little　girl　who

clung　to　her　father。

　　Nicholas　went　out　holding　the　child　by　the　hand。

　　Countess　Mary　remained　in　the　sitting　room。

　　〃I　should　never；　never　have　believed　that　one　could　be　so　happy；〃

she　whispered　to　herself。　A　smile　lit　up　her　face　but　at　the　same　time

she　sighed；　and　her　deep　eyes　expressed　a　quiet　sadness　as　though

she　felt；　through　her　happiness；　that　there　is　another　sort　of

happiness　unattainable　in　this　life　and　of　which　she　involuntarily

thought　at　that　instant。

EP1｜CH10

　　CHAPTER　X



　　Natasha　had　married　in　the　early　spring　of　1813；　and　in　1820　already

had　three　daughters　besides　a　son　for　whom　she　had　longed　and　whom　she

was　now　nursing。　She　had　grown　stouter　and　broader；　so　that　it　was

difficult　to　recognize　in　this　robust；　motherly　woman　the　slim；　lively

Natasha　of　former　days。　Her　features　were　more　defined　and　had　a　calm；

soft；　and　serene　expression。　In　her　face　there　was　none　of　the

ever…glowing　animation　that　had　formerly　burned　there　and

constituted　its　charm。　Now　her　face　and　body　were　of　all　that　one　saw；

and　her　soul　was　not　visible　at　all。　All　that　struck　the　eye　was　a

strong；　handsome；　and　fertile　woman。　The　old　fire　very　rarely

kindled　in　her　face　now。　That　happened　only　when；　as　was　the　case　that

day；　her　husband　returned　home；　or　a　sick　child　was　convalescent；　or

when　she　and　Countess　Mary　spoke　of　Prince　Andrew　（she　never　mentioned

him　to　her　husband；　who　she　imagined　was　jealous　of　Prince　Andrew's

memory）；　or　on　the　rare　occasions　when　something　happened　to　induce

her　to　sing；　a　practice　she　had　quite　abandoned　since　her　marriage。　At

the　rare　moments　when　the　old　fire　did　kindle　in　her　handsome；　fully

developed　body　she　was　even　more　attractive　than　in　former　days。

　　Since　their　marriage　Natasha　and　her　husband　had　lived　in　Moscow；　in

Petersburg；　on　their　estate　near　Moscow；　or　with　her　mother；　that　is

to　say；　in　Nicholas'　house。　The　young　Countess　Bezukhova　was　not　often

seen　in　society；　and　those　who　met　her　there　were　not　pleased　with　her

and　found　her　neither　attractive　nor　amiable。　Not　that　Natasha　liked

solitude…　she　did　not　know　whether　she　liked　it　or　not；　she　even

thought　that　she　did　not…　but　with　her　pregnancies；　her

confinements；　the　nursing　of　her　children；　and　sharing　every　moment　of

her　husband's　life；　she　had　demands　on　her　time　which　could　be

satisfied　only　by　renouncing　society。　All　who　had　known　Natasha　before

her　marriage　wondered　at　the　change　in　her　as　at　something

extraordinary。　Only　the　old　countess　with　her　maternal　instinct　had

realized　that　all　Natasha's　outbursts　had　been　due　to　her　need　of

children　and　a　husband…　as　she　herself　had　once　exclaimed　at

Otradnoe　not　so　much　in　fun　as　in　earnest…　and　her　mother　was　now

surprised　at　the　surprise　expressed　by　those　who　had　never

understood　Natasha；　and　she　kept　saying　that　she　had　always　known　that

Natasha　would　make　an　exemplary　wife　and　mother。

　　〃Only　she　lets　her　love　of　her　husband　and　children　overflow　all

bounds；〃　said　the　countess；　〃so　that　it　even　becomes　absurd。〃

　　Natasha　did　not　follow　the　golden　rule　advocated　by　clever　folk；

especially　by　the　French；　which　says　that　a　girl　should　not　let

herself　go　when　she　marries；　should　not　neglect　her　accomplishments；

should　be　even　more　careful　of　her　appearance　than　when　she　was

unmarried；　and　should　fascinate　her　husband　as　much　as　she　did

before　he　became　her　husband。　Natasha　on　the　contrary　had　at　once

abandoned　all　her　witchery；　of　which　her　singing　had　been　an　unusually

powerful　part。　She　gave　it　up　just　because　it　was　so　powerfully

seductive。　She　took　no　pains　with　her　manners　or　with　of　speech；　or

with　her　toilet；　or　to　show　herself　to　her　husband　in　her　most

becoming　attitudes；　or　to　avoid　inconveniencing　him　by　being　too

exacting。　She　acted　in　contradiction　to　all　those　rules。　She　felt　that

the　allurements　instinct　had　formerly　taught　her　to　use　would　now　be

merely　ridiculous　in　the　eyes　of　her　husband；　to　whom　she　had　from　the

first　moment　given　herself　up　entirely…　that　is；　with　her　whole

soul；　leaving　no　corner　of　it　hidden　from　him。　She　felt　that　her　unity

with　her　husband　was　not　maintained　by　the　poetic　feelings　that　had

attracted　him　to　her；　but　by　something　else…　indefinite　but　firm　as

the　bond　between　her　own　body　and　soul。

　　To　fluff　out　her　curls；　put　on　fashionable　dresses；　and　sing

romantic　songs　to　fascinate　her　husband　would　have　seemed　as　strange

as　to　adorn　herself　to　attract　herself。　To　adorn　herself　for　others

might　perhaps　have　been　agreeable…　she　did　not　know…　but　she　had　no

time　at　all　for　it。　The　chief　reason　for　devoting　no　time　either　to

singing；　to　dress；　or　to　choosing　her　words　was　that　she　really　had　no

time　to　spare　for　these　things。

　　We　know　that　man　has　the　faculty　of　becoming　completely　absorbed

in　a　subject　however　trivial　it　may　be；　and　that　there　is　no　subject

so　trivial　that　it　will　not　grow　to　infinite　proportions　if　one's

entire　attention　is　devoted　to　it。

　　The　subject　which　wholly　engrossed　Natasha's　attention　was　her

family：　that　is；　her　husband　whom　she　had　to　keep　so　that　he　should

belong　entirely　to　her　and　to　the　home；　and　the　children　whom　she

had　to　bear；　bring　into　the　world；　nurse；　and　bring　up。

　　And　the　deeper　she　penetrated；　not　with　her　mind　only　but　with　her

whole　soul；　her　whole　being；　into　the　subject　that　absorbed　her；　the

larger　did　that　subject　grow　and　the　weaker　and　more　inadequate　did

her　powers　appear；　so　that　she　concentrated　them　wholly　on　that　one

thing　and　yet　was　unable　to　accomplish　all　that　she　considered

necessary。

　　There　were　then　as　now　conversations　and　discussions　about　women's

rights；　the　relations　of　husband　and　wife　and　their　freedom　and

rights；　though　these　themes　were　not　yet　termed　questions　as　they

are　now；　but　these　topics　were　not　merely　uninteresting　to　Natasha；

she　positively　did　not　understand　them。

　　These　questions；　then　as　now；　existed　only　for　those　who　see　nothing

in　marriage　but　the　pleasure　married　people　get　from　one　another；　that

is；　only　the　beginnings　of　marriage　and　not　its　whole　significance；

which　lies　in　the　family。

　　Discussions　and　questions　of　that　kind；　which　are　like　the

question　of　how　to　get　the　greatest　gratification　from　one's　dinner；

did　not　then　and　do　not　now　exist　for　those　for　whom　the