when the world shook-第2章

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with　deep…set　eyes　and　beetling　brows。　I　am　also　dark；　but　tall

above　the　average；　and　well　made。　I　do　not　know　that　I　need　say

more　about　my　personal　appearance；　to　me　not　a　very　attractive

subject；　but　the　fact　remains　that　they　called　me　〃handsome

Humphrey〃　at　the　University；　and　I　was　the　captain　of　my　college

boat　and　won　many　prizes　at　athletic　sports　when　I　had　time　to

train　for　them。



Until　I　went　up　to　Oxford　my　father　educated　me；　partly　because

he　knew　that　he　could　do　it　better　than　anyone　else；　and　partly

to　save　school　expenses。　The　experiment　was　very　successful；　as　my

love　of　all　outdoor　sports　and　of　any　small　hazardous　adventure

that　came　to　my　hand；　also　of　associating　with　fisherfolk　whom

the　dangers　of　the　deep　make　men　among　men；　saved　me　from

becoming　a　milksop。　For　the　rest　I　learned　more　from　my　father；

whom　I　always　desired　to　please　because　I　loved　him；　than　I

should　have　done　at　the　best　and　most　costly　of　schools。　This　was

shown　when　at　last　I　went　to　college　with　a　scholarship；　for

there　I　did　very　well　indeed；　as　search　would　still　reveal。



Here　I　had　better　set　out　some　of　my　shortcomings；　which　in

their　sum　have　made　a　failure　of　me。　Yes；　a　failure　in　the

highest　sense；　though　I　trust　what　Stevenson　calls　〃a　faithful

failure。〃　These　have　their　root　in　fastidiousness　and　that　lack

of　perseverance；　which　really　means　a　lack　of　faith；　again　using

the　word　in　its　higher　and　wider　sense。　For　if　one　had　real　faith

one　would　always　persevere；　knowing　that　in　every　work　undertaken

with　high　aim；　there　is　an　element　of　nobility；　however　humble

and　unrecognised　that　work　may　seem　to　be。　God　after　all　is　the

God　of　Work；　it　is　written　large　upon　the　face　of　the　Universe。　I

will　not　expand　upon　the　thought；　it　would　lead　me　too　far

afield；　but　those　who　have　understanding　will　know　what　I　mean。



As　regards　what　I　interpret　as　fastidiousness；　this　is　not　very

easy　to　express。　Perhaps　a　definition　will　help。　I　am　like　a　man

with　an　over…developed　sense　of　smell；　who　when　walking　through　a

foreign　city；　however　clean　and　well　kept；　can　always　catch　the

evil　savours　that　are　inseparable　from　such　cities。　More；　his

keen　perception　of　them　interferes　with　all　other　perceptions　and

spoils　his　walks。　The　result　is　that　in　after　years；　whenever　he

thinks　of　that　beautiful　city；　he　remembers；　not　its　historic

buildings　or　its　wide　boulevards；　or　whatever　it　has　to　boast；

but　rather　its　ancient；　fish…like　smell。　At　least　he　remembers

that　first　owing　to　this　defect　in　his　temperament。



So　it　is　with　everything。　A　lovely　woman　is　spoiled　for　such　a

one　because　she　eats　too　much　or　has　too　high　a　voice；　he　does

not　care　for　his　shooting　because　the　scenery　is　flat；　or　for　his

fishing　because　the　gnats　bite　as　well　as　the　trout。　In　short　he

is　out　of　tune　with　the　world　as　it　is。　Moreover；　this　is　a

quality　which；　where　it　exists；　cannot　be　overcome；　it　affects

day…labourers　as　well　as　gentlemen　at　large。　It　is　bred　in　the

bone。



Probably　the　second　failure…breeding　fault；　lack　of

perseverance；　has　its　roots　in　the　first；　at　any　rate　in　my　case。

At　least　on　leaving　college　with　some　reputation；　I　was　called　to

the　Bar　where；　owing　to　certain　solicitor　and　other　connections；

I　had　a　good　opening。　Also；　owing　to　the　excellence　of　my　memory

and　powers　of　work；　I　began　very　well；　making　money　even　during

my　first　year。　Then；　as　it　happened；　a　certain　case　came　my　way

and；　my　leader　falling　ill　suddenly　after　it　was　opened；　was　left

in　my　hands。　The　man　whose　cause　I　was　pleading　was；　I　think；　one

of　the　biggest　scoundrels　it　is　possible　to　conceive。　It　was　a

will　case　and　if　he　won；　the　effect　would　be　to　beggar　two　most

estimable　middle…aged　women　who　were　justly　entitled　to　the

property；　to　which　end　personally　I　am　convinced　he　had　committed

forgery；　the　perjury　that　accompanied　it　I　do　not　even　mention。



Well；　he　did　win；　thanks　to　me；　and　the　estimable　middle…aged

ladies　were　beggared；　and　as　I　heard　afterwards；　driven　to　such

extremities　that　one　of　them　died　of　her　misery　and　the　other

became　a　lodging…house　keeper。　The　details　do　not　matter；　but　I

may　explain　that　these　ladies　were　unattractive　in　appearance　and

manner　and　broke　down　beneath　my　cross…examination　which　made

them　appear　to　be　telling　falsehoods；　whereas　they　were　only

completely　confused。　Further；　I　invented　an　ingenious　theory　of

the　facts　which；　although　the　judge　regarded　it　with　suspicion；

convinced　an　unusually　stupid　jury　who　gave　me　their　verdict。



Everybody　congratulated　me　and　at　the　time　I　was　triumphant；

especially　as　my　leader　had　declared　that　our　case　was

impossible。　Afterwards；　however；　my　conscience　smote　me　sorely；

so　much　so　that　arguing　from　the　false　premise　of　this　business；

I　came　to　the　conclusion　that　the　practice　of　the　Law　was　not

suited　to　an　honest　man。　I　did　not　take　the　large　view　that　such

matters　average　themselves　up　and　that　if　I　had　done　harm　in　this

instance；　I　might　live　to　do　good　in　many　others；　and　perhaps

become　a　just　judge；　even　a　great　judge。　Here　I　may　mention　that

in　after　years；　when　I　grew　rich；　I　rescued　that　surviving　old

lady　from　her　lodging…house；　although　to　this　day　she　does　not

know　the　name　of　her　anonymous　friend。　So　by　degrees；　without

saying　anything；　for　I　kept　on　my　chambers；　I　slipped　out　of

practice；　to　the　great　disappointment　of　everybody　connected　with

me；　and　took　to　authorship。



A　marvel　came　to　pass；　my　first　book　was　an　enormous　success。

The　whole　world　talked　of　it。　A　leading　journal；　delighted　to

have　discovered　someone；　wrote　it　up；　other　journals　followed

suit　to　be　in　the　movement。　One　of　them；　I　remember；　which　had

already　dismissed　it　with　three　or　four　sneering　lines；　came　out

with　a　second　and　two…column　notice。　It　sold　like　wildfire　and　I

suppose　had　some　merits；　for　it　is　still　read；　though　few　know

that　I　wrote　it；　since　fortunately　it　was　published　under　a

pseudonym。



Again　I　was　much　elated　and　set　to　work　to　write　another　and；

as　I　believe；　a　much　better　book。　But　jealousies　had　been　excited

by　this　leaping　into　fame　of　a　totally　unknown　person；　which

were；　moreover；　accentuated　through　a　foolish　article　that　I

published　in　answer　to　some　criticisms；　wherein　I　spoke　my　mind

with　an　insane　freedom　and　biting　sarcasm。　Indeed　I　was　even　mad

enough　to　quote　names　and　to　give　the　example　of　the　very

powerful　journal　which　at　first　carped　at　my　work　and　then　gushed

over　it　when　it　became　the　fashion。　All　of　this　made　me　many

bitter　enemies；　as　I　found　out　when　my　next　book　appeared。



It　was　torn　to　shreds；　it　was　reviled　as　subversive　of　morality

and　religion；　good　arrows　in　those　days。　It　was　called　puerile；

half…educated　stuffI　half…educated！　More；　an　utterly　false

charge　of　plagiarism　was　cooked　up　against　me　and　so　well　and

venomously　run　that　vast　numbers　of　people　concluded　that　I　was　a

thief　of　the　lowest　order。　Lastly；　my　father；　from　whom　the

secret　could　no　longer　be　kept；　sternly　disapproved　of　both　these

books　which　I　admit　were　written　from　a　very　radical　and　somewhat

anti…church　point　of　view。　The　result　was　our　first　quarrel　and

before　it　was　made　up；　he　died　suddenly。





Now　again　fastidiousness　and　my　lack　of　perseverance　did　their

work；　and　solemnly　I　swore　that　I　would　never　write　another　book；

an　oath　which　I　have　kept　till　this　moment；　at　least　so　far　as

publication　is　concerned；　and　now　break　only　because　I　consider

it　my　duty　so　to　do　and　am　not　animated　by　any　pecuniary　object。



Thus　came　to　an　end　my　second　attempt　at　carving　out　a　career。

By　now　I　had　grown　savage　and　cynical；　rather　revengeful　also；　I

fear。　Knowing　myself　to　possess　considerable　abilities　in　sundry

directions；　I　sat　down；　as　it　were；　to　think　things　over　and

digest　my　past　experiences。　Then　it　was　that　the　truth　of　a　very

ancient　adage　struck　upon　my　mind；　namely；　that　money　is　power。

Had　I　sufficient　money　I　could　laugh　at　unjust　critics　for

example；　indeed　they　or　their　papers　would　scarcely　dare　to

criticise　me　for　fear　lest　it　should　be　in　my　power　to　do　them　a

bad　turn。　Again　I　could　follow　my　own　ideas　in　life　and　perhaps

work　good　in　the　world；　and　live　in　such　surroundings　as

commended　themselves　to　me。　It　was　as　clear　as　daylight；　buthow

to　make　the　money？



I　had　some　capital　as　the　result　of　my　father's　death；　about

？；000　in　all；　plus　a　little　more　that　my　two　books　had　brought

in。　In　what　way　could　I　employ　it　to　the　best　advantage？　I

remembered　that　a　cousin　of　my　father　and　therefore　my　own；　was　a

successful　stock…broker；　also　that　there　had　been　some　affection

between　them。　I　went　to　him；　he　was　a　good；　easy…natured　man　who

was　frankly　glad　to　see　me；　and　offered　to　put　？；000　into　his

business；　for　I　was　not　minded　to　risk　every　thing　I　had；　if　he

would　give　me　a　share　in　the　profits。　He　laughed　heartily　at　my

audacity。



〃Why；　my　boy；〃　he　said；　〃being　totally　inexperienced　at　this

game；　you　might　lose　us　more　than　that　in　a　month。　But　I　like

your　courage；　I　like　your　courage；　and　the　truth　is　that　I　do

want　help。　I　will　think　it　over　and　write　to　you。〃



He　thought　it　over　and　in　the　end　offered　to　try　me　for　a　year

at　a　fixed　salary　with　a　promise　of　some　kind　of　a　partnership　if

I　suited　him。　Meanwhile　my　？；000　remained　in　my　pocket。



I　accepted；　not　without　reluctance　since　with　the　impatience　of

youth　I　wanted　everything　at　once。　I　worked　hard　in　that　office

and　soon　mastered　the　business；　for　my　knowledge　of　figuresI

had　taken　a　first…class　mathematical　degree　at　collegecame　to

my　aid；　as　in　a　way　did　my　acquaintance　with　Law　and　Literature。

Moreover　I　had　a　certain　aptitude　for　what　is　called　high

finance。　Further；　Fortune；　as　usual；　showed　me　a　favourable　face。



In　one　year　I　got　the　partnership　with　a　small　share　in　the

large　profits　of　the　business。　In　two　the　partner　above　me

retired；　and　I　took　his　place　with　a　third　share　of　the　firm。　In

three　my　cousin；　satisfied　that　it　was　in　able　hands；　began　to

cease　his　attendance　at　the　office　and　betook　himself　to

gardening　which　was　his　hobby。　In　four　I　paid　him　out　altogether；

although　to　do　this　I　had　to　borrow　money　on　our　credit；　for　by

agreement　the　title　of　the　firm　was　continued。　Then　came　that

extraordinary　time　of　boom　which　many　will　remember　to　their

cost。　I　made　a　bold　stroke　and　won。　On　a　certain　Saturday　when

the　books　were　made　up；　I　found　that　after　discharging　all

liabilities；　I　should　not　be　worth　more　than　？0；000。　On　the

following　Saturday　but　two　when　the　books　were　made　up；　I　was

worth　？53；000！　L'appetit　vient　en　mangeant。　It　seemed　nothing

to　me　when　so　many　were　worth　millions。



For　the　next　year　I　worked　as　few　have　done；　and　when　I　struck

a　balance　at　the　end　of　it；　I　found　that　on　the　most　conservative

estimate　I　was　the　owner　of　a