crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第101章
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〃Not precisely of the tubercles。 Besides； she wouldn't have
understood！ But what I say is； that if you convince a person logically
that he has nothing to cry about； he'll stop crying。 That's clear。
Is it your conviction that he won't？〃
〃Life would be too easy if it were so；〃 answered Raskolnikov。
〃Excuse me； excuse me； of course it would be rather difficult for
Katerina Ivanovna to understand； but do you know that in Paris they
have been conducting serious experiments as to the possibility of
curing the insane； simply by logical argument？ One professor there；
a scientific man of standing； lately dead； believed in the possibility
of such treatment。 His idea was that there's nothing really wrong with
the physical organism of the insane； and that insanity is； so to
say； a logical mistake； an error of judgment； an incorrect view of
things。 He gradually showed the madman his error and； would you
believe it； they say he was successful？ But as he made use of
douches too； how far success was due to that treatment remains
uncertain。。。。 So it seems at least。〃
Raskolnikov had long ceased to listen。 Reaching the house where he
lived； he nodded to Lebeziatnikov and went in at the gate。
Lebeziatnikov woke up with a start； looked about him and hurried on。
Raskolnikov went into his little room and stood still in the
middle of it。 Why had he come back here？ He looked at the yellow and
tattered paper； at the dust； at his sofa。。。。 From the yard came a loud
continuous knocking； some one seemed to be hammering。。。 He went to the
window； rose on tiptoe and looked out into the yard for a long time
with an air of absorbed attention。 But the yard was empty and he could
not see who was hammering。 In the house on the left he saw some open
windows； on the window…sills were pots of sickly…looking geraniums。
Linen was hung out of the windows。。。 He knew it all by heart。 He
turned away and sat down on the sofa。
Never； never had he felt himself so fearfully alone！
Yes； he felt once more that he would perhaps come to hate Sonia； now
that he had made her more miserable。
〃Why had he gone to her to beg for her tears？ What need had he to
poison her life？ Oh； the meanness of it！〃
〃I will remain alone；〃 he said resolutely； 〃and she shall not come
to the prison！〃
Five minutes later he raised his head with a strange smile。 That was
a strange thought。
〃Perhaps it really would be better in Siberia；〃 he thought suddenly。
He could not have said how long he sat there with vague thoughts
surging through his mind。 All at once the door opened and Dounia
came in。 At first she stood still and looked at him from the
doorway； just as he had done at Sonia； then she came in and sat down
in the same place as yesterday； on the chair facing him。 He looked
silently and almost vacantly at her。
〃Don't be angry； brother； I've only come for one minute；〃 said
Dounia。
Her face looked thoughtful but not stern。 Her eyes were bright and
soft。 He saw that she too had come to him with love。
〃Brother； now I know all； all。 Dmitri Prokofitch has explained and
told me everything。 They are worrying and persecuting you through a
stupid and contemptible suspicion。。。。 Dmitri Prokofitch told me that
there is no danger； and that you are wrong in looking upon it with
such horror。 I don't think so； and I fully understand how indignant
you must be； and that that indignation may have a permanent effect
on you。 That's what I am afraid of。 As for your cutting yourself off
from us； I don't judge you； I don't venture to judge you； and
forgive me for having blamed you for it。 I feel that I too； if I had
so great a trouble； should keep away from every one。 I shall tell
mother nothing of this； but I shall talk about you continually and
shall tell her from you that you will come very soon。 Don't worry
about her； I will set her mind at rest； but don't you try her too
much… come once at least； remember that she is your mother。 And now
I have come simply to say〃 （Dounia began to get up） 〃that if you
should need me or should need。。。 all my life or anything。。。 call me；
and I'll come。 Good…bye！〃
She turned abruptly and went towards the door。
〃Dounia！〃 Raskolnikov stopped her and went towards her。 〃That
Razumihin； Dmitri Prokofitch； is a very good fellow。〃
Dounia flushed slightly。
〃Well？〃 she asked； waiting a moment。
〃He is competent； hardworking； honest and capable of real love。。。。
Good…bye； Dounia。〃
Dounia flushed crimson； then suddenly she took alarm。
〃But what does it mean； brother？ Are we really parting for ever that
you。。。 give me such a parting message？〃
〃Never mind。。。。 Good…bye。〃
He turned away； and walked to the window。 She stood a moment； looked
at him uneasily； and went out troubled。
No； he was not cold to her。 There was an instant （the very last one）
when he had longed to take her in his arms and say good…bye to her；
and even to tell her； but he had not dared even to touch her hand。
〃Afterwards she may shudder when she remembers that I embraced
her； and will feel that I stole her kiss。〃
〃And would she stand that test？〃 he went on a few minutes later to
himself。 〃No； she wouldn't； girls like that can't stand things！ They
never do。〃
And he thought of Sonia。
There was a breath of fresh air from the window。 The daylight was
fading。 He took up his cap and went out。
He could not； of course； and would not consider how ill he was。
But all this continual anxiety and agony of mind could not but
affect him。 And if he were not lying in high fever it was perhaps just
because this continual inner strain helped to keep him on his legs and
in possession of his faculties。 But this artificial excitement could
not last long。
He wandered aimlessly。 The sun was setting。 A special form of misery
had begun to oppress him of late。 There was nothing poignant；
nothing acute about it； but there was a feeling of permanence； of
eternity about it； it brought a foretaste of hopeless years of this
cold leaden misery； a foretaste of an eternity 〃on a square yard of
space。〃 Towards evening this sensation usually began to weigh on him
more heavily。
〃With this idiotic； purely physical weakness； depending on the
sunset or something； one can't help doing something stupid！ You'll
go to Dounia； as well as to Sonia；〃 he muttered bitterly。
He heard his name called。 He looked round。 Lebeziatnikov rushed up
to him。
〃Only fancy； I've been to your room looking for you。 Only fancy；
she's carried out her plan； and taken away the children。 Sofya
Semyonovna and I have had a job to find them。 She is rapping on a
frying…pan and making the children dance。 The children are crying。
They keep stopping at the cross roads and in front of shops； there's a
crowd of fools running after them。 Come along！〃
〃And Sonia？〃 Raskolnikov asked anxiously； hurrying after
Lebeziatnikov。
〃Simply frantic。 That is； it's not Sofya Semyonovna's frantic； but
Katerina Ivanovna； though Sofya Semyonova's frantic too。 But
Katerina Ivanovna is absolutely frantic。 I tell you she is quite
mad。 They'll be taken to the police。 You can fancy what an effect that
will have。。。。 They are on the canal bank； near the bridge now； not far
from Sofya Semyonovna's； quite close。〃
On the canal bank near the bridge and not two houses away from the
one where Sonia lodged； there was a crowd of people； consisting
principally of gutter children。 The hoarse broken voice of Katerina
Ivanovna could be heard from the bridge； and it certainly was a
strange spectacle likely to attract a street crowd。 Katerina
Ivanovna in her old dress with the green shawl； wearing a torn straw
hat； crushed in a hideous way on one side； was really frantic。 She was
exhausted and breathless。 Her wasted consumptive face looked more
suffering than ever； and indeed out of doors in the sunshine a
consumptive always looks worse than at home。 But her excitement did
not flag； and every moment her irritation grew more intense。 She
rushed at the children； shouted at them； coaxed them； told them before
the crowd how to dance and what to sing； began explaining to them
why it was necessary； and driven to desperation by their not
understanding； beat them。。。。 Then she would make a rush at the
crowd； if she noticed any decently dressed person stopping to look；
she immediately appealed to him to see what these children 〃from a
genteel； one may say aristocratic； house〃 had been brought to。 If
she heard laughter or jeering in the crowd； she would rush at once
at the scoffers and begin squabbling with them。 Some people laughed；
others shook their heads； but every one felt curious at the sight of
the madwoman with the frightened children。 The frying…pan of which
Lebeziatnikov had spoken was not there； at least Rasko
