crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第114章
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Ivanovna's guests。 He called me aside to the window and asked me in
secret。 It was essential for him that you should be here！ That's it；
that's it！〃
Luzhin smiled contemptuously and did not speak。 But he was very
pale。 He seemed to be deliberating on some means of escape。 Perhaps he
would have been glad to give up everything and get away； but at the
moment this was scarcely possible。 It would have implied admitting the
truth of the accusations brought against him。 Moreover； the company；
which had already been excited by drink； was now too much stirred to
allow it。 The commissariat clerk； though indeed he had not grasped the
whole position； was shouting louder than any one and was making some
suggestions very unpleasant to Luzhin。 But not all those present
were drunk； lodgers came in from all the rooms。 The three Poles were
tremendously excited and were continually shouting at him： 〃The Pan is
a lajdak！〃 and muttering threats in Polish。 Sonia had been listening
with strained attention； though she too seemed unable to grasp it all；
she seemed as though she had just returned to consciousness。 She did
not take her eyes off Raskolnikov； feeling that all her safety lay
in him。 Katerina Ivanovna breathed hard and painfully and seemed
fearfully exhausted。 Amalia Ivanovna stood looking more stupid than
any one； with her mouth wide open； unable to make out what had
happened。 She only saw that Pyotr Petrovitch had somehow come to
grief。
Raskolnikov was attempting to speak again； but they did not let him。
Every one was crowding round Luzhin with threats and shouts of
abuse。 But Pyotr Petrovitch was not intimidated。 Seeing that his
accusation of Sonia had completely failed； he had recourse to
insolence：
〃Allow me； gentlemen； allow me！ Don't squeeze； let me pass！〃 he
said； making his way through the crowd。 〃And no threats if you please！
I assure you it will be useless； you will gain nothing by it。 On the
contrary； you'll have to answer； gentlemen； for violently
obstructing the course of justice。 The thief has been more than
unmasked； and I shall prosecute。 Our judges are not so blind and。。。
not so drunk； and will not believe the testimony of two notorious
infidels； agitators； and atheists； who accuse me from motives of
personal revenge which they are foolish enough to admit。。。。 Yes； allow
me to pass！〃
〃Don't let me find a trace of you in my room！ Kindly leave at
once； and everything is at an end between us！ When I think of the
trouble I've been taking； the way I've been expounding。。。 all this
fortnight！〃
〃I told you myself to…day that I was going； when you tried to keep
me； now I will simply add that you are a fool。 I advise you to see a
doctor for your brains and your short sight。 Let me pass； gentlemen！〃
He forced his way through。 But the commissariat clerk was
unwilling to let him off so easily： he picked up a glass from the
table； brandished it in the air and flung it at Pyotr Petrovitch；
but the glass flew straight at Amalia Ivanovna。 She screamed； and
the clerk； overbalancing； fell heavily under the table。 Pyotr
Petrovitch made his way to his room and half an hour later had left
the house。 Sonia； timid by nature； had felt before that day that she
could be ill…treated more easily than any one； and that she could be
wronged with impunity。 Yet till that moment she had fancied that she
might escape misfortune by care； gentleness and submissiveness
before every one。 Her disappointment was too great。 She could； of
course； bear with patience and almost without murmur anything； even
this。 But for the first minute she felt it too bitter。 In spite of her
triumph and her justification… when her first terror and
stupefaction had passed and she could understand it all clearly… the
feeling of her helplessness and of the wrong done to her made her
heart throb with anguish and she was overcome with hysterical weeping。
At last； unable to bear any more； she rushed out of the room and ran
home； almost immediately after Luzhin's departure。 When amidst loud
laughter the glass flew at Amalia Ivanovna； it was more than the
landlady could endure。 With a shriek she rushed like a fury at
Katerina Ivanovna； considering her to blame for everything。
〃Out of my lodgings！ At once！ Quick march！〃
And with these words she began snatching up everything she could lay
her hands on that belonged to Katerina Ivanovna； and throwing it on
the floor； Katerina Ivanovna； pale； almost fainting； and gasping for
breath； jumped up from the bed where she had sunk in exhaustion and
darted at Amalia Ivanovna。 But the battle was too unequal： the
landlady waved her away like a feather。
〃What！ As though that godless calumny was not enough… this vile
creature attacks me！ What！ On the day of my husband's funeral I am
turned out of my lodgings！ After eating my bread and salt she turns me
into the street； with my orphans！ Where am I to go？〃 wailed the poor
woman； sobbing and gasping。 〃Good God！〃 she cried with flashing
eyes； 〃is there no justice upon earth？ Whom should you protect if
not us orphans？ We shall see！ There is law and justice on earth； there
is； I will find it！ Wait a bit； godless creature！ Polenka； stay with
the children； I'll come back。 Wait for me； if you have to wait in
the street。 We will see whether there is justice on earth！〃
And throwing over her head that green shawl which Marmeladov had
mentioned to Raskolnikov； Katerina Ivanovna squeezed her way through
the disorderly and drunken crowd of lodgers who still filled the room；
and； wailing and tearful； she ran into the street… with a vague
intention of going at once somewhere to find justice。 Polenka with the
two little ones in her arms crouched； terrified； on the trunk in the
corner of the room； where she waited trembling for her mother to
come back。 Amalia Ivanovna raged about the room； shrieking；
lamenting and throwing everything she came across on the floor。 The
lodgers talked incoherently； some commented to the best of their
ability on what had happened； others quarreled and swore at one
another； while others struck up a song。。。。
〃Now it's time for me to go；〃 thought Raskolnikov。 〃Well； Sofya
Semyonovna； we shall see what you'll say now！〃
And he set off in the direction of Sonia's lodgings。
Chapter Four
RASKOLNIKOV had been a vigorous and active champion of Sonia against
Luzhin； although he had such a load of horror and anguish in his own
heart。 But having gone through so much in the morning； he found a sort
of relief in a change of sensations； apart from the strong personal
feeling which impelled him to defend Sonia。 He was agitated too；
especially at some moments； by the thought of his approaching
interview with Sonia： he had to tell her who had killed Lizaveta。 He
knew the terrible suffering it would be to him and； as it were；
brushed away the thought of it。 So when he cried as he left Katerina
Ivanovna's； 〃Well； Sofya Semyonovna； we shall see what you'll say
now！〃 he was still superficially excited； still vigorous and defiant
from his triumph over Luzhin。 But； strange to say； by the time he
reached Sonia's lodging； he felt a sudden impotence and fear。 He stood
still in hesitation at the door； asking himself the strange
question： 〃Must I tell her who killed Lizaveta？〃 It was a strange
question because he felt at the very time not only that he could not
help telling her； but also that he could not put off the telling。 He
did not yet know why it must be so； he only felt it； and the agonising
sense of his impotence before the inevitable almost crushed him。 To
cut short his hesitation and suffering； he quickly opened the door and
looked at Sonia from the doorway。 She was sitting with her elbows on
the table and her face in her hands； but seeing Raskolnikov she got up
at once and came to meet him as though she were expecting him。
〃What would have become of me but for you！〃 she said quickly；
meeting him in the middle of the room。
Evidently she was in haste to say this to him。 It was what she had
been waiting for。
Raskolnikov went to the table and sat down on the chair from which
she had only just risen。 She stood facing him； two steps away； just as
she had done the day before。
〃Well； Sonia？〃 he said； and felt that his voice was trembling； 〃it
was all due to 'your social position and the habits associated with
it。' Did you understand that just now？〃
Her face showed her distress。
〃Only don't talk to me as you did yesterday；〃 she interrupted him。
〃Please don't begin it。 There is misery enough without that。〃
She made haste to smile； afraid that he might not like the reproach。
〃I was silly to come away from there。 What is happening there now？ I
wanted to go back directly； but I kept thinking that。。。 you would
come。〃
He told her that Amalia Ivanovna was turning them out of their
lodging and that Katerina Ivanovna had run off somewhere 〃to seek
justice。〃
〃My God！〃 cried Sonia； 〃let's go at once。。。。〃
