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第17章

crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第17章

小说: crime and punishment(罪与罚) 字数: 每页3500字

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value has the life of that sickly; stupid; ill…natured old woman in         
the balance of existence! No more than the life of a louse; of a black      
beetle; less in fact because the old woman is doing harm。 She is            
wearing out the lives of others; the other day she bit Lizaveta's           
finger out of spite; it almost had to be amputated。〃                        
  〃Of course she does not deserve to live;〃 remarked the officer; 〃but      
there it is; it's nature。〃                                                  
  〃Oh; well; brother; but we have to correct and direct nature; and;        
but for that; we should drown in an ocean of prejudice。 But for             
that; there would never have been a single great man。 They talk of          
duty; conscience… I don't want to say anything against duty and             
conscience;… but the point is what do we mean by them。 Stay; I have         
another question to ask you。 Listen!〃                                       
  〃No; you stay; I'll ask you a question。 Listen!〃                          
  〃Well?〃                                                                   
  〃You are talking and speechifying away; but tell me; would you            
kill the old woman yourself?〃                                               
  〃Of course not! I was only arguing the justice of it。。。。 It's             
nothing to do with me。。。。〃                                                  
  〃But I think; if you would not do it yourself; there's no justice         
about it。。。。 Let us have another game。〃                                     
  Raskolnikov was violently agitated。 Of course; it was all ordinary        
youthful talk and thought; such as he had often heard before in             
different forms and on different themes。 But why had he happened to         
hear such a discussion and such ideas at the very moment when his           
own brain was just conceiving。。。 the very same ideas? And why; just at      
the moment when he had brought away the embryo of his idea from the         
old woman had he dropped at once upon a conversation about her? This        
coincidence always seemed strange to him。 This trivial talk in a            
tavern had an immense influence on him in his later action; as              
though there had really been in it something preordained; some guiding      
hint。。。。                                                                    
…                                                                           
  On returning from the Hay Market he flung himself on the sofa and         
sat for a whole hour without stirring。 Meanwhile it got dark; he had        
no candle and; indeed; it did not occur to him to light up。 He could        
never recollect whether he had been thinking about anything at that         
time。 At last he was conscious of his former fever and shivering;           
and he realised with relief that he could lie down on the sofa。 Soon        
heavy; leaden sleep came over him; as it were crushing him。                 
  He slept an extraordinarily long time and without dreaming。               
Nastasya; coming into his room at ten o'clock the next morning; had         
difficulty in rousing him。 She brought him in tea and bread。 The tea        
was again the second brew and again in her own tea…pot。                     
  〃My goodness; how he sleeps!〃 she cried indignantly。 〃And he is           
always asleep。〃                                                             
  He got up with an effort。 His head ached; he stood up; took a turn        
in his garret and sank back on the sofa again。                              
  〃Going to sleep again;〃 cried Nastasya。 〃Are you ill; eh?〃                
  He made no reply。                                                         
  〃Do you want some tea?〃                                                   
  〃Afterwards;〃 he said with an effort; closing his eyes again and          
turning to the wall。                                                        
  Nastasya stood over him。                                                  
  〃Perhaps he really is ill;〃 she said; turned and went out。 She            
came in again at two o'clock with soup。 He was lying as before。 The         
tea stood untouched。 Nastasya felt positively offended and began            
wrathfully rousing him。                                                     
  〃Why are you lying like a log?〃 she shouted; looking at him with          
repulsion。                                                                  
  He got up; and sat down again; but said nothing and stared at the         
floor。                                                                      
  〃Are you ill or not?〃 asked Nastasya and again received no answer。        
〃You'd better go out and get a breath of air;〃 she said after a pause。      
〃Will you eat it or not?〃                                                   
  〃Afterwards;〃 he said weakly。 〃You can go。〃                               
  And he motioned her out。                                                  
  She remained a little longer; looked at him with compassion and went      
out。                                                                        
  A few minutes afterwards; he raised his eyes and looked for a long        
while at the tea and the soup。 Then he took the bread; took up a spoon      
and began to eat。                                                           
  He ate a little; three or four spoonfuls; without appetite as it          
were mechanically。 His head ached less。 After his meal he stretched         
himself on the sofa again; but now he could not sleep; he lay               
without stirring; with his face in the pillow。 He was haunted by            
daydreams and such strange daydreams; in one; that kept recurring;          
he fancied that he was in Africa; in Egypt; in some sort of oasis。 The      
caravan was resting; the camels were peacefully lying down; the             
palms stood all around in a complete circle; all the party were at          
dinner。 But he was drinking water from a spring which flowed                
gurgling close by。 And it was so cool; it was wonderful; wonderful;         
blue; cold water running among the parti…coloured stones and over           
the clean sand which glistened here and there like gold。。。。 Suddenly        
he heard a clock strike。 He started; roused himself; raised his             
head; looked out of the window; and seeing how late it was; suddenly        
jumped up wide awake as though some one had pulled him off the sofa。        
He crept on tiptoe to the door; stealthily opened it and began              
listening on the staircase。 His heart beat terribly。 But all was quiet      
on the stairs as if every one was asleep。。。。 It seemed to him               
strange and monstrous that he could have slept in such forgetfulness        
from the previous day and had done nothing; had prepared nothing            
yet。。。。 And meanwhile perhaps it had struck six。 And his drowsiness         
and stupefaction were followed by an extraordinary; feverish; as it         
were; distracted; haste。 But the preparations to be made were few。          
He concentrated all his energies on thinking of everything and              
forgetting nothing; and his heart kept beating and thumping so that he      
could hardly breathe。 First he had to make a noose and sew it into his      
overcoat… a work of a moment。 He rummaged under his pillow and              
picked out amongst the linen stuffed away under it; a worn out; old         
unwashed shirt。 From its rags he tore a long strip; a couple of inches      
wide and about sixteen inches long。 He folded this strip in two;            
took off his wide; strong summer overcoat of some stout cotton              
material (his only outer garment) and began sewing the two ends of the      
rag on the inside; under the left armhole。 His hands shook as he            
sewed; but he did it successfully so that nothing showed outside            
when he put the coat on again。 The needle and thread he had got             
ready long before and they lay on his table in a piece of paper。 As         
for the noose; it was a very ingenious device of his own; the noose         
was intended for the axe。 It was impossible for him to carry the axe        
through the street in his hands。 And if hidden under his coat he would      
still have had to support it with his hand; which would have been           
noticeable。 Now he had only to put the head of the axe in the noose;        
and it would hang quietly under his arm on the inside。 Putting his          
hand in his coat pocket; he could hold the end of the handle all the        
way; so that it did not swing; and as the coat was very full; a             
regular sack in fact; it could not be seen from outside that he was         
holding something with the hand that was in the pocket。 This noose;         
too; he had designed a fortnight before。                                    
  When he had finished with this; he thrust his hand into a little          
opening between his sofa and the floor; fumbled in the left corner and      
drew out the pledge; which he had got ready long before and hidden          
there。 This pledge was; however; only a smoothly planed piece of            
wood the size and thickness of a silver cigarette case。 He picked up        
this piece of wood in one of his wanderings in a courtyard where there      
was some sort of a workshop。 Afterwards he had added to the wood a          
thin smooth piece of iron; which he had also picked up at the same          
time in the street。 Putting the iron which was a little the smaller on      
the piece of wood; he fastened them very firmly; crossing and               
re…crossing the thread round them; then wrapped them carefully and          
daintily in clean white paper and tied up the parcel so that it             
would be very difficult to untie it。 This was in order to divert the        
attention of the old woman for a time; while she was trying to undo         
the knot; and so to gain a moment。 The iron strip was added to give         
weight; so that the woman might not guess the first minute that the         
〃thing〃 was made of wood。 All this had been stored by him beforehand        
under the sofa。 He had only just got the pledge out when he heard some      
one suddenly about in the yard。                                             
  〃It struck six long ago。〃                                                 
  〃Long ago! My God!〃                                                       
  He rushed to the door; listened; caught up his hat and began to           
descend his thirteen steps cautiously; noiselessly; like a cat。 He had      
still the most important thing to do… to steal the axe from the             
kitchen。 That the deed must be done with an axe he had decided long         
ago。 He had also a pocket pruning…knife; but he could not rely on           
the knife and still less on his own strength; and so r

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